Is your Thai GF/Wife also your best friend?

[jacko45k]

Sorry for your situation, but move on.

As to your question.... yes I believe she is.

[NoshowJones]

My best friend is still back in sweden. The gf i have now is very much on friendship, helping each other basis. I doubt that she would still be the same friend to me if we break up but to me it is always like that thai or not. People just goes different ways. It would be a great loss to me though loosing my gf since she is a goverment official and that is very convenient many times, i wish there was more love involved on both sides but i guess i can not have everything, at least not now.

To the OP. You should never have been supporting her in the first place. Helping her, yes, but actually supporting her, no way. When I decided I wanted to live in Thailand after a few holidays in the country, I admit that eventually, I started looking for a wife, I dated market girls, shop girls etc, before I met my wife. Any girl I married, had to be working and have her own money, there was no way I was going to support either her, her family, or her parents, help them from time to time financially, yes, but completely support them? No chance. I have been with my wife for eight years now, she has her money, and I have mine.

She has her money and you have yours...but what is the percentage split on your assets? Sorry couldn't resist! good luck for you sir

You know the law regarding property in Thailand, one of the reasons I always say that we are not guests in this country.

[NoshowJones]

When you discover that your wife is indeed your best friend, then your marriage will likely succeed. There are things we talk about that we won't discuss with others. and things we do that is no business of others...............

But, there are things about my past that she still doesn't know, and things about hers that I don't know, however if asked either way, there would be no hiding it. That is what makes friendships; trust.

That said, we have only been married for 14 years, so there are still some secrets to be discussed on rainy nights if the TV is cr@p............. width=25 alt=thumbsup.gif>

IMEHO of course.

Good post chrisinth, but I believe what happened in my wifes past before she met me is none of my business, and vice versa. If I found out now that my wife was a bargirl, my attitude would be, it does not matter, it was in the past. We have had eight happy years together, that's what counts.

That is very true possum, and well noted.

The reason I put that line in my post was that we would rather find out from each other. Experience has shown, that in certain circumstances, the past can be used against you, often in jest or just with a slipped tongue, and the result turns out to be extremely un-funny............

Mistakes are often made trying to cover this up. We would rather hear it truthfully from each other if ever that sort of scenario arose. I do know most of my wife's background, and even if it had turned out she was a BG, it would matter not. Mrs. chrisinth also knows that I had a very colourful, drunken life for many years before meeting her and I am sure that anything mentioned about that chapter of my life would not faze her.

Hong Kong in '89, Manila in '91 & Indonesia in '94 meant I had to make my own coffee for a couple of days....................

Trust is the keyword.

Yes, you sure talk a lot of sense.

[NoshowJones]

My best friend is still back in sweden. The gf i have now is very much on friendship, helping each other basis. I doubt that she would still be the same friend to me if we break up but to me it is always like that thai or not. People just goes different ways. It would be a great loss to me though loosing my gf since she is a goverment official and that is very convenient many times, i wish there was more love involved on both sides but i guess i can not have everything, at least not now.

To the OP. You should never have been supporting her in the first place. Helping her, yes, but actually supporting her, no way. When I decided I wanted to live in Thailand after a few holidays in the country, I admit that eventually, I started looking for a wife, I dated market girls, shop girls etc, before I met my wife. Any girl I married, had to be working and have her own money, there was no way I was going to support either her, her family, or her parents, help them from time to time financially, yes, but completely support them? No chance. I have been with my wife for eight years now, she has her money, and I have mine.

Well put, wish is was easy to achieve. Sometimes at first it is, then the misses gf's come by and they start to compare what each other have, get & don't have, get. Next thing I know, I'm hearing all about it during our pillow talk time. Thai ladies love to compete with each other, with who has or gets the most. This creates great distractions, where I have to go into repair mode, for her to see the true light of day...that is that most of what another thai girl states she's getting, she really isn't, and in the end what does it all matter? if we compare our lives to others, we will never be able to find our own happiness. Sometimes she listens, but most of the time she has to find out what I've said to be true on her own. Lucky for me it usually doesn't take long for the truth to vier it's head, so to speak. Thai's don't make great liars over time, they are great at it in the short term, for that's what they've practiced with...short term; and I don't mean short time. Thai ladies don't usually have long term relationships with thai men,

if they've had a relationship at all. But I also don't see thai ladies having long relationships with other ladies, jealousy plays to be a part in their friendship, that it drives the other away; eventually. IMO

[NoshowJones]

My best friend is still back in sweden. The gf i have now is very much on friendship, helping each other basis. I doubt that she would still be the same friend to me if we break up but to me it is always like that thai or not. People just goes different ways. It would be a great loss to me though loosing my gf since she is a goverment official and that is very convenient many times, i wish there was more love involved on both sides but i guess i can not have everything, at least not now.

To the OP. You should never have been supporting her in the first place. Helping her, yes, but actually supporting her, no way. When I decided I wanted to live in Thailand after a few holidays in the country, I admit that eventually, I started looking for a wife, I dated market girls, shop girls etc, before I met my wife. Any girl I married, had to be working and have her own money, there was no way I was going to support either her, her family, or her parents, help them from time to time financially, yes, but completely support them? No chance. I have been with my wife for eight years now, she has her money, and I have mine.

Well put, wish is was easy to achieve. Sometimes at first it is, then the misses gf's come by and they start to compare what each other have, get & don't have, get. Next thing I know, I'm hearing all about it during our pillow talk time. Thai ladies love to compete with each other, with who has or gets the most. This creates great distractions, where I have to go into repair mode, for her to see the true light of day...that is that most of what another thai girl states she's getting, she really isn't, and in the end what does it all matter? if we compare our lives to others, we will never be able to find our own happiness. Sometimes she listens, but most of the time she has to find out what I've said to be true on her own. Lucky for me it usually doesn't take long for the truth to vier it's head, so to speak. Thai's don't make great liars over time, they are great at it in the short term, for that's what they've practiced with...short term; and I don't mean short time. Thai ladies don't usually have long term relationships with thai men,

if they've had a relationship at all. But I also don't see thai ladies having long relationships with other ladies, jealousy plays to be a part in their friendship, that it drives the other away; eventually. IMO

Yes, I understand what you are saying, but so far to my knowledge, I have not seen any signs of comparisons been made, or any jealousy.

[atyclb]

Sadly under the feudalistic patronage system many a friendship/relationship is proportional to the financial support that changes hands. This appears to be more the rule then the exception among expats. For so many expats that escaped prior marriage/relationships it boggles the mind how they seek / find themselves in new relationships in Thailand, not to mention typically as financiers.(exceptions duly noted)

I agree with the people whose best friends have 4 legs and appear to have no issues with reason, logic, culture or critical thinking LOL

[Shancloudy]

True love begins when nothing is to looked for in return. Move on, enjoy your life and start to find a better woman than your ex.

[tingtongteesood]

It really irritates me here. I tell everyone from day 1 'I am not 'taking care' of anyone', I want a girl who has a job and enjoys it and wants to be her own person. I don't want someone who is with me because I pay for everything. That's just wrong. I haven't had a gf for 3 years...Sadly it seems most girls are just in it for the money and whilst there are guys who are willing to pay this trend will continue. No I am not Thai bashing, I am stating facts. And yes I do know there are many exceptions...

[Tchooptip]

I recently went through a breakup with my Thai GF, and Ive been missing her every day even though its probably better that we arent together any more. What I did not expect was not only missing her physically, but we also did almost everything together as constant companions and I realize that she was my best friend during our time together. Despite the fact that I felt it was more of a financial relationship, I still feel as though I have lost my best friend.

I didnt have a big number of friends to begin with, and losing her really took the wind out of my sails.

My ex gf decided that if I was no longer willing to support her, she was not going to have anything to do with me any more, which evidently meant she was really not my friend to begin with. Im shocked that although I did not care for her so much emotionally, I still feel like I have lost my best friend. Im will try to be careful the next time around, maybe not rely so much on one person, and try to make more friends in Thailand just in case my relationship in the future doesnt work out.

Is your Thai GF/wife also your best friend, and if you no longer had a relationship with her, do you think you would remain friends? Do you have any ex Thai gf that you remain friends with?

So, you admit that she was with you for money but your still missing her even though as I'm sure you'd agree that she was taking advantage if you. If you had no income or money she wouldn't have wanted to know.

My advice, get over get now, wise up, grow up and find someone decent out of a bar environment,

Do not ever offer any money for anything or buy anything other than a bunch of cheap flowers. Offer to pay 50/50 for dates.

If she keeps coming back then she may be a keeper. If she doesn't shed after money.

Heed this advice and you'll be ok.

I follow you 100%!

On the other hand my wife ( for instance) needs to help her old parents.

Personnaly I understand very well since in Thailand there is no retirement pension.

My wife does not work... because I would not like

So every month I give some money, when I see the average monthly salary of many Thai I would feel ashamed not to do it since we spend around 80.000 a month, when my daughter in law works for Bangkok Airways for 12.000 bahts a month, her husband delivery man for 10.000 they have a little boy 1 year old, who like most of the time in Thailand is grown up with the grand parents.

So I thank the lord every days I can afford to do it ... but never believed "they are after my money" Should I be wrong ? I am happy that way anyhow!

(When I was a child my grand-parents ruined by World War 2, were really poor poor, I will never forget)

[Shancloudy]

It really irritates me here. I tell everyone from day 1 'I am not 'taking care' of anyone', I want a girl who has a job and enjoys it and wants to be her own person. I don't want someone who is with me because I pay for everything. That's just wrong. I haven't had a gf for 3 years...Sadly it seems most girls are just in it for the money and whilst there are guys who are willing to pay this trend will continue. No I am not Thai bashing, I am stating facts. And yes I do know there are many exceptions...

Some guys just don't have the patience in finding the nice woman. Remember every woman is different in their own way. Most good women are shy and hard to approach, once you get her attention you'll never regret. She will be the best woman for you. Most bad woman are flirt and easy to approach.....

Edited September 2, 2013 by Shancloudy

[wileycoyote]

Yes

[Tchooptip]

No money no honey.

You?