Do you think you would ever fit in back "home" if you returned?

[smooth expat]

Would you be able to fit back in(socially)? Personally, I never really fit in when I left so I don't think I'd fit in too well now after a half decade living abroad. I feel like I'm no longer a citizen and losing my sense of ties to my home country and the people who live there. I don't think I can relate to them anymore.

[benalibina]

From experience, 1 easily adapts back in homecountry. The "relatepart" is or can be an issue in contact with others who never lived abroad. The 1 thing i liked living in LOS that i never read any newspapers so hardly knew what was happening back home. After a while i never even read the bangkok post anymore.

Hope for you that you do not need to go back soon.

[yourauntbob]

Yes

[guzzi850m2]

I don't know to be honest.

I haven't been home for about 8 - 10 years but hope to go home on 1 month holidays in app. 2 years time and see how my country is now.

[Yooyung]

Been there, done that.

I went back to Aus after living here for 9 years to study. I stayed there three years and returned here to Thailand in early march. I can 'fit in' just about anywhere as I am reasonable, open minded person...and with patience to boot! I did find it a chore to be back there though and I did not even try to make any new real friends. I think living here does change you a lot. You wont see it going back for a two week holiday, but go for an extended period and you will notice it. Three years was my sentence. I served it like a man...and came back here at the first possible opportunity.

[Ulysses G.]

As long as I did not start regaling average citizens with tales of hanging out in Go Go bars in Bangkok or touring brothels in Issan, I would probably be OK.

[FDog]

I very rarely return to my home country and when I do it is for a short holiday just to visit family. After a day there I can't wait to get back out.

[ABCer]

I have always been a 'misfit'. In my own country of origin. Than in my second country of origin. This is my third one, and I am still a 'misfit'.

Must admit that I was more or less comfortable in all three. But never 'fitting in'.

Most likely it is my personality. It was formed in no good environment (and it does not mean mum and dad).

[lenna00]

stay away too long and you dont have a home to go to. no one tells you that when you leave.

me i've fitted in to many places on the planet, but fitting into the slot i once called home, i doubt it still exists and not sure i would even want to. just a casual drifting away with longer and longer absences to the point of never returning.

Edited September 6, 2013 by lenna00

[hanno]

Home? Let me think: born in Germany, raised in Kenya, hotel school in Switzerland, stints in Luxembourg, Dubai, China, 20 years in SE Asia. Darn, I don't know where home is!

Edited September 6, 2013 by hanno

[lenna00]

Home? Let me think: born in Germany, raised in Kenya, hotel school in Switzerland, stints in Luxembourg, Dubai, China, 20 years in SE Asia. Darn, I don't know where home is!

similar to me, never had or wanted to have the time develop that low-cal attachment. always something better to find or do over the next horizon. yes and in some places you do find your paradise but it is all fleeting and hidden among the many dead end not suitable traps. now its just putting one foot in front of the other with no aim except waiting it out. stopped looking. perhaps i've achieved nirvana 555

Edited September 6, 2013 by lenna00

[BruceSmith]

Does it make any difference?

If so, perhaps you should consider going back and taking a stake.

[goatfarmer]

No: high taxes, no servants, petty rules, paranoia, overpriced services.

"Home": nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there!

[impulse]

If you fit in before you left, you'll probably fit in on your return.

If you left because you didn't fit in, it probably hasn't gotten any better.

Wherever you go, there you be.

[asdecas]

Any inability to 'fit in' again in the country you were born and brought up in is down to your own personality. It's a conceit to think that most people cannot 'fit in' again.

[lempereur]

From experience, 1 easily adapts back in homecountry. The "relatepart" is or can be an issue in contact with others who never lived abroad. The 1 thing i liked living in LOS that i never read any newspapers so hardly knew what was happening back home. After a while i never even read the bangkok post anymore.

Hope for you that you do not need to go back soon.

I live and worked here for +20 years,to live in Belgium again would be a disaster for me, when I seen how the country is going down and the cost of living getting up,up The weather is also a problem for me, I visit my country once a year to visit my children and my aunt, the only thing I mis is the food there.

[Kayahammer]

Easily. Left there in 1997, and was back this summer for first time in 4 years. Thoroughly enjoyed it and could easily relocate back (just don't want to).

[Tatsujin]

No, and I wouldn't even try any longer, just go somewhere else if I leave Thailand.

[Docno]

As I've mentioned previously in other threads, research on the expat experience (in companies) shows that the return home is more difficult than the out-trip. When we go to a new country, we know that there will be unknowns and unpredictability and we (try to) keep and open mind. However, when we return 'home', we have more fixed expectations ... the movie basically stopped where we left off and we expect it to start at the same point. We also often have an idealised/simplified memory of what home is like. But things have moved on and changed while we've been away, and that can be a big shock for people.

[Suradit69]

Would you be able to fit back in(socially)? Personally, I never really fit in when I left so I don't think I'd fit in too well now after a half decade living abroad. I feel like I'm no longer a citizen and losing my sense of ties to my home country and the people who live there. I don't think I can relate to them anymore.

I left the US about 40 years ago. I've returned a few times for visits and stayed a couple of times for a couple of years while back at university.

My first return was after a 4 year stay in southern Africa and I really felt like an alien back in the US. Subsequent visits didn't seem as much of a re-emersion trauma, but when it came time for me to retire I knew that returning to the US wasn't really something I would want to do. If nothing else, watching from a distance during the 8 years that the Bush-Cheney cabal destroyed the country convinced me that the idea of home I had stored away in my memories had been replaced by something I could never hope to understand.

I still feel connected to the US, but I knew that coping with retiring from work and at the same time trying to re-assimilate into a society that quite often strikes me as incomprehensible was a little more than I wanted to deal with.

Obviously a lot of people who spent most of their lives in the US or Europe or wherever, then stopped working and moved to Thailand are having tremendous difficulty in coping with so many changes in their lives and the loss of their support systems. As a consequence many have taken up the hobby of whining incessantly and blaming Thailand for all their personal problems. I could easily see falling into the same self-absorbed trap if I returned to the US.

And practically speaking, all my close friends lived in the Chicago area. At this point in life most of those I keep in contact with have spread out across the country from Arizona to Florida to Wisconsin and so on, so my continued contact with them would still be mostly by email or telephone. Besides that, too much of the America I think of when I think of home looks like this too much of the year. Ugh.

Edited September 6, 2013 by Suradit69

[NoshowJones]

No, I would never fit in if I had to return to the UK. I would find it hard to return to my old job as a Professional Musician or Private Investigator. I would refuse to pay council Tax as I would not scrimp on eating or heating, which I would not afford on benefits. Yes, as far as I know people on benefits still have to pay council tax, even with a rebate. I would end up in jail for not paying it. As I said, I would always make sure I was eating well and use the heating. That would probably mean I would have to use methods that some people would not approve of. But I would never do anything against the ordinary working class people.

[retell]

gonna find out in a few weeks after 8 years in Thailand back to Holland for a few months

still have good contact with family and friends through FB and Skype

but already dislike the wheather i'm going to

20C. feels like freezing to me

but we will manage anyway

[jackr]

Home? Let me think: born in Germany, raised in Kenya, hotel school in Switzerland, stints in Luxembourg, Dubai, China, 20 years in SE Asia. Darn, I don't know where home is!

Planet Earth?

[sangsom69]

Interesting question by the OP, as the island on which I lived, I used to wonder how the Brits there would fare should they ever have to go home. Personally, I'd have no problems going back because there's some things I'd prefer about the UK than here, so I'd just focus on those. I'm more thinking about the guys who used to be on the 9-5, but sold up and relocated here in their late 30 early 40s, and spend everyday pissed, talking abut how <deleted> it is to live in England and are used to cuddling up every night to a woman half their age , sometimes the same one, sometimes a different one. That would be some serious readjustment when the dough runs out, back to being invisible to younger women and some serious detoxing needed before entering employment again in a country they now profess to despise. Ouch.

[JLCrab]

Quick aside: For 5 years I lived in New York City in an older apartment building that still had a manually operated elevator. When the building employee maneuvered the elevator to my floor I would get off and then turn to him and say 'Thank you'. Problem was this became so habitual that when I would get off the automated elevator in a modern NYC office building and would turn and say 'Thank you' and the people remaining in the elevator would look at me as a nut-case.

So when I go back to the US, I do things that I habitually do in Thailand and probably don't readjust until it's time to go back again -- like saying 'Kaap maak' at the US grocery store.

[ironhorse10]

The only thing I miss back home is my Harley, can't afford one here, so i'm riding a Honda.

[Nowisee]

I came back for 9 weeks to finish selling my crap, buying things I can't get there and locking up some banking, medical and other things, I could have done it in 4 weeks, maybe 5 if I was the motivated type, and I'm already burned out.

Burned out on the people mostly. I hate thugs and oxygen thieves and there's too many here. I noticed it as soon as I landed...hahaha

I've already put on 10 lbs.

Looking forward to returning to LOS...and I was only there for 5 months before I left...hahaha

Easy to go off topic here, but I'll stay on post.

I've never really been a conformist, so no... I wouldn't "fit" in.
IF, I feel a need to leave LOS, it won't be back to the US.... sorry, love my country, but I'll stay away from the people.

[i claudius]

I have no problem fitting in ,although i do not really miss the UK , strangely its my wife who is Thai is the one who misses our old home town and our home there,far more than me.

[marell]

Sure, you can get used to most anything. But what's the point?

[Dararasmi]

Heck, yeah. I'd fit in. It's been twelve years since I've been back, but I'm sure there'd be no problem. Fitting in in Thailand, now that was impossible. I have a very low tolerance for lies, scams, crime, corruption, crap service, filth, pollution (air/noise), traffic, rudeness, shoddy workmanship, etc. Living in Japan is harmonious with my general appreciation of adherence to the law, quiet, cleanliness, politeness, quality, beauty, and common sense.