Questions regarding Thai-Farang relationships.

[Potential Teacher]

Greetings once again.

In the teaching section I have a thread about Teaching English in Thailand, it was very informative and I thank everyone that participated in it. However, I faced multiple accusations stating that I merely wanted to go to Thailand for the Thai girls. Now I never responded to these individually, I chose to just ignore them, knowing that it is not my reason for wanting to go to Thailand.

Even so, those thoughts have stuck with me since the thread and have started to bother me. In light of that I want to ask a few questions.

1) Is it common for young foreigners to go to Thailand just for the women? Myself being 21 and a qualified personal trainer, I suspect that ultimately was the reason that I was accused of only wanting to go to Thailand for the girls. The reality however is (in my opinion) that going to another country just for the girls is expensive and far more effort than it's worth.

2) How can you even have a meaningful relationship with someone you don't understand? I am not going to learn an entire language just to copulate and anyone that would copulate with someone they do not understand at all is taking a big risk, yes it's sexy and most men probably fantasize about it, but in reality it's far too risky hooking up with someone you know nothing about for obvious reasons. If you can think rationally about it, you wouldn't be doing it.

[NCC1701A]

Dude, imagine your are Brad Pitt. Understand?

[Potential Teacher]

Dude, imagine your are Brad Pitt. Understand?

Brad Pitt is a celebrity, he doesn't even need to leave his house to get 1000's of girls. He could quite literally post on his Twitter, if he even has it, that he's accepting requests for intercourse and fangirls would line up for him - possibly from all over the world.

You really can't use him as an example.

[ukrules]

Myself being 21 and a qualified personal trainer, I suspect that ultimately was the reason that I was accused of only wanting to go to Thailand for the girls.

I don't see what your age or job has to do with it.

Lots of Thai people speak English anyway. More than you perhaps realise.

[Potential Teacher]

Myself being 21 and a qualified personal trainer, I suspect that ultimately was the reason that I was accused of only wanting to go to Thailand for the girls.

I don't see what your age or job has to do with it.

Lots of Thai people speak English anyway. More than you perhaps realise.

Well you could argue the stereotype, but if you take that away then I don't have anything to rationalize the accusations made against me.

[pigeonjake]

@op,

let me ask you a question,

why did you want to come to thailand to teach?

is it becouse you can come here and teach without going to uni?

or because you can see the temples here,

[Potential Teacher]

@op,

let me ask you a question,

why did you want to come to thailand to teach?

is it becouse you can come here and teach without going to uni?

or because you can see the temples here,

I believed that the course I was going to do would be adequate, alas it was actually a con, trying to pump under qualified teachers into Thailand while making ludicrous amounts of money (96000 baht per 'teacher'). At the time of reading the e-mail I did not know of Thailand's foreign teaching infrastructure and it turned out be a lot more complicated and not as simple as I originally thought it to be.

So no, I did not want to go to Thailand to teach uneducated and unqualified, I signify this in my thread.

Edited September 8, 2013 by Potential Teacher

[NCC1701A]

Dude, imagine your are Brad Pitt. Understand?

Brad Pitt is a celebrity, he doesn't even need to leave his house to get 1000's of girls. He could quite literally post on his Twitter, if he even has it, that he's accepting requests for intercourse and fangirls would line up for him - possibly from all over the world.

You really can't use him as an example.

Yes, that is EXACTLY what I mean. That is what I am telling you. Understand?

[HardenedSoul]

You have to realise that for a lot of guys on this forum, the potential for having multiple, hard-bodied sexual partners is/was a big - if not the biggest - draw for living here so they automatically assume that if someone intends to come here to do a job which is, for the most part, not particularly well paid, there must be another motive.

In their eyes, the Thai people aren't especially interesting beyond the availability of their females, so they find it difficult to grasp your motivations.

A lot of these guys are abject failures with women be that after one or a series or marriages or owing to crippling social ineptitude so they come to Thailand to make up for a lifetime of being the chumps that couldn't nail the hot chick for love nor money.

Edited September 8, 2013 by HardenedSoul

[Phronesis]

You think too much for a 21 year old bloke.

Embrace some recklessness. Or become an accountant. The world is your oyster.

[JLCrab]

You have to realise that for a lot of guys on this forum, the potential for having multiple, hard-bodied sexual partners is/was a big if not the biggest draw for living here so they automatically assume that if someone intends to come here to do a job which is, for the most part, not particularly well paid, there must be another motive.

In their eyes, the Thai people aren't especially interesting beyond the availability of their females, so they find it difficult to grasp your motivations.

A lot of these guys are abject failures with women be that after one or a series or marriages or owing to crippling social ineptitude so they come to Thailand to make up for a lifetime of being the chumps that couldn't nail the hot chick for love nor money.

Maybe so ... but you're here too.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

1. Most guys come to Thailand for the easily available sex.

(Not always for sex with a woman)

2. Who cares about relationships, enjoy the sex.

(Not as much risk as your western government would have you believe)

[Potential Teacher]

You have to realise that for a lot of guys on this forum, the potential for having multiple, hard-bodied sexual partners is/was a big draw so they automatically assume that if someone intends to come here to do a job which is, for the most part, not particularly well paid, there must be another motive.

In their eyes, the Thai people aren't especially interesting beyond the availability of their females, so they can't grasp your motivations.

A lot of these guys are abject failures with women be that within one or a series or marriages or owing to crippling social ineptitude so they come to Thailand to make up for a lifetime of being the chumps that couldn't nail the hot chick for love nor money.

Heh, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. You're also the first person to take the time to respond properly, thank you.

You think too much for a 21 year old bloke.

Embrace some recklessness. Or become an accountant. The world is your oyster.

In my opinion, leaving your country can be 'reckless', you are out of your comfort zone and are completely dependent on yourself.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

You have to realise that for a lot of guys on this forum, the potential for having multiple, hard-bodied sexual partners is/was a big - if not the biggest - draw for living here so they automatically assume that if someone intends to come here to do a job which is, for the most part, not particularly well paid, there must be another motive.

In their eyes, the Thai people aren't especially interesting beyond the availability of their females, so they find it difficult to grasp your motivations.

A lot of these guys are abject failures with women be that after one or a series or marriages or owing to crippling social ineptitude so they come to Thailand to make up for a lifetime of being the chumps that couldn't nail the hot chick for love nor money.

Para 1.

I agree with.

Para 2.

Cross out 'females' and I agree with.

Para 3.

How long do you need to be in a relationship before you consider it 'successful'?

How many of those 'successful' relationships have you had so far?

(Or specify your personal criteria for a 'successful' relationship if different, and state your number of successes)

[Potential Teacher]

1. Most guys come to Thailand for the easily available sex.

(Not always for sex with a woman)

2. Who cares about relationships, enjoy the sex.

(Not as much risk as your western government would have you believe)

This seems interesting, sex is easily available? Is that by means of flirtation or well, darker methods? Myself being from South Africa prostitution is a big industry here, but I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole.

Can you elaborate on the lack of risk? I've had safe sex drilled into my head since I was 6, because of the high number HIV/AIDS sufferers in Africa/South Africa.

Edited September 8, 2013 by Potential Teacher

[pilm]

Yes, most aren't actually here for the food and temples. Thought they may have a hard time admitting it to themselves.

[i claudius]

Your 21 you say ,

well as Oscar Wilde said "I wish i was young enough to know everything"

[NCC1701A]

You have to realise that for a lot of guys on this forum, the potential for having multiple, hard-bodied sexual partners is/was a big draw so they automatically assume that if someone intends to come here to do a job which is, for the most part, not particularly well paid, there must be another motive.

In their eyes, the Thai people aren't especially interesting beyond the availability of their females, so they can't grasp your motivations.

A lot of these guys are abject failures with women be that within one or a series or marriages or owing to crippling social ineptitude so they come to Thailand to make up for a lifetime of being the chumps that couldn't nail the hot chick for love nor money.

Heh, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. You're also the first person to take the time to respond properly, thank you.

You think too much for a 21 year old bloke.

Embrace some recklessness. Or become an accountant. The world is your oyster.

In my opinion, leaving your country can be 'reckless', you are out of your comfort zone and are completely dependent on yourself.

Funny how people just hear want they want to hear. I told you everything you need to know.

I would warn you not to come here at your young age.

"completely dependent on yourself" Are you a American?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

1. Most guys come to Thailand for the easily available sex.

(Not always for sex with a woman)

2. Who cares about relationships, enjoy the sex.

(Not as much risk as your western government would have you believe)

This seems interesting, sex is easily available? Is that by means of flirtation or well, darker methods? Myself being from South Africa prostitution is a big industry here, but I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole.

Can you elaborate on the lack of risk? I've had safe sex drilled into my head since I was 6, because of the high number HIV/AIDS sufferers in Africa/South Africa.

Almost every girl you meet seems to be available for sex that night, or at least within a few days of meeting.

I know many guys that have 30-50 sexual partners a year, none of them appear to have caught HIV yet. Most don't use condoms. If you sleep with a girl 3 times, on the 3rd time the girl almost always suggests no condom.

One caught something, easily cured with anti-biotics.

There just doesn't seem to be that high a risk of getting an STD over here (anecdotal evidence only).

Edited September 8, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Somchai Mao]

The OP mentions the word "relationship" so I am working on the premise he is asking more about boyfriend/girlfriend as opposed to bargirl/customer. I know of very very few long-term boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in Thailand. Some develop into husband/wife relationships which after a period of time end, either in the country of the farang or in Thailand. Alternatively I know there are thousands of bargirl/customer relationships that are successful for the short period they last. As a 21 year old these are the type of relationships you should be aiming for until you become familiar with the ways of Thailand.

One tip, history is littered with farangs who have lost everything, farangs with broken hearts, farangs who have committed suicide and farangs who are twisted and bitter. Thailand can do this to you. Of course there are success stories but they are few and far between.

Learn the ways of Thailand before you commit to anything.

[HardenedSoul]

You have to realise that for a lot of guys on this forum, the potential for having multiple, hard-bodied sexual partners is/was a big - if not the biggest - draw for living here so they automatically assume that if someone intends to come here to do a job which is, for the most part, not particularly well paid, there must be another motive.

In their eyes, the Thai people aren't especially interesting beyond the availability of their females, so they find it difficult to grasp your motivations.

A lot of these guys are abject failures with women be that after one or a series or marriages or owing to crippling social ineptitude so they come to Thailand to make up for a lifetime of being the chumps that couldn't nail the hot chick for love nor money.

How long do you need to be in a relationship before you consider it 'successful'?

How many of those 'successful' relationships have you had so far?

(Or specify your personal criteria for a 'successful' relationship if different, and state your number of successes)

The duration of a relationship is less important to me than the mindset of the parties when they emerge from it.

A man who comes out of a marriage or a relationship being more thankful for the good times than bitter about the end can say his marriage or relationship was successful.

I'm friends with many of my exes - even after 20+ years.

[swissie]

@ OP.

Most Farangs don't understand the Thais. (Verbally and mentally), but that does not stop them from copulating. Even Farangs being married to their Thai-Wifes and still not understanding (verbally and mentally) keep copulating. As it were, the less understanding the more copulation. For Farangs, this is the land of copulation. Forget the Farangs, claiming to be here for the temples and the nice weather (9 months out of the year, feels like sitting in a finnish sauna).

I read your post in the language-forum and I am absolutely sure that you are sincere about teaching and wanting to live in a new cultural-environment for a certain period of time. If only you had more uni-qualifications, then it would open (teaching-doors) for you all over S/E-Asia with good pay.

Your alternative: Cambodia/Phnon Phen. Only with a TEFL-Certificate you can still land a teaching-job for 7 to 12 US-Dollars per hour. Good money

And, not to forget: If at some point you decide to get into this copulation-business, Cambodia is at your doorstep and Thailand is just around the corner.

WARNING: Once you get into this copulation-business, it's hard to quit. Much harder than to quit smoking.

I am on your side. I wish you luck.

Cheers.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

A man who comes out of a marriage or a relationship being more thankful for the good times than bitter about the end can say his marriage or relationship was successful.

So how many marriages have you come out of, thankful for the good times?

I'm thinking none!

You have to put some minimum time limits on the deal, else every soapy would count as a successful relationship, and every marriage a failure.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

@ OP.

Most Farangs don't understand the Thais. (Verbally and mentally), but that does not stop them from copulating.

I openly admit to not understanding women, verbally or mentally, why bring Thais into the discussion?

[HardenedSoul]

A man who comes out of a marriage or a relationship being more thankful for the good times than bitter about the end can say his marriage or relationship was successful.

So how many marriages have you come out of, thankful for the good times?

I'm thinking none!

You have to put some minimum time limits on the deal, else every soapy would count as a successful relationship, and every marriage a failure.

No marriages - I was lucky enough to swerve that nonsense.

Plenty of relationships - one more than 10 years.

I openly admit to not understanding women, verbally or mentally,

I'd never have guessed

[Somchai Mao]

@ OP.

Most Farangs don't understand the Thais. (Verbally and mentally), but that does not stop them from copulating.

I openly admit to not understanding women, verbally or mentally, why bring Thais into the discussion?

I wouldn't say for one moment I am an expert with women but have had a number of friendships/relationships with Thai women ranging from bargirls to girls who work on the hotel reception and even for a short time a customs officer from Suvarnabhumi. I don't think on a generic level Thai women are more or less difficult to understand than any other woman, it is what Thai culture throws at them. The obsession with money (they will try and hide this from you initially), the obsession with family and almost slavish obedience to their mothers, the nonsense their friends fill their heads with whenever a farang is on the scene. On top of this add the face thing and the need to gain merit for Buddha you have a person who is like an alien compared to any other female you have ever encountered. Also consider that unless they've been to university they will have been educated to the equivalent of a 12 year old in the West. Having said this I still think Thai women are wonderful.

[benalibina]

1. Most guys come to Thailand for the easily available sex.

(Not always for sex with a woman)

2. Who cares about relationships, enjoy the sex.

(Not as much risk as your western government would have you believe)

This seems interesting, sex is easily available? Is that by means of flirtation or well, darker methods? Myself being from South Africa prostitution is a big industry here, but I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole.

Can you elaborate on the lack of risk? I've had safe sex drilled into my head since I was 6, because of the high number HIV/AIDS sufferers in Africa/South Africa.

Since i was 6 !!

I feel for you young man.

[Crazy chef 1]

Myself being 21 and a qualified personal trainer, I suspect that ultimately was the reason that I was accused of only wanting to go to Thailand for the girls.

I don't see what your age or job has to do with it.

Lots of Thai people speak English anyway. More than you perhaps realise.

domestic or abroad living Thais?

[HardenedSoul]

You have to realise that for a lot of guys on this forum, the potential for having multiple, hard-bodied sexual partners is/was a big if not the biggest draw for living here so they automatically assume that if someone intends to come here to do a job which is, for the most part, not particularly well paid, there must be another motive.

In their eyes, the Thai people aren't especially interesting beyond the availability of their females, so they find it difficult to grasp your motivations.

A lot of these guys are abject failures with women be that after one or a series or marriages or owing to crippling social ineptitude so they come to Thailand to make up for a lifetime of being the chumps that couldn't nail the hot chick for love nor money.

Maybe so ... but you're here too.

But unlike the likes of you, I'm not trying to bang my way through the trouts on the lowest rungs of Thailand's socio-economic ladder . . . and paying for it

[yourauntbob]

I know exactly one guy here that didnt hook up with at least one Thai chick while he was here, and he had a very cute western girlfriend who he cared tremendously about. I suspect a year from now you will be shaking your head at your OP, temptations a b!tch, especially when its everywhere.