What does a Thai expect from marrying a farang?

[spidermike007]

No, absolutely wrong. The idea of getting to know your woman over time is an idea based on solid wisdom, maturity, a lack of sexual infatuation, and just plain old intelligence. How on earth can you know if you share a level of compatibility if you are not able to spend a significant amount of time together, before committing to marriage. Much less know if you share the same dreams, aspirations, interests, viewpoints, etc. I always advise at least a year, of full time engagement. At least a year. Unless you prefer a complicated life over a simple life.

So why is the concept so new (last 60-70 years) in the world.

Historically, marriage was a business deal, sexual compatibility and love were not considered important.

To me, it appears romance and love are only considered important in countries influenced by Hollywood.

Before Hollywood started making movies, marriage for love was a concept virtually unknown in the Western world.

None of us here on TV have an issue with someone your mom and dad set you up with. None at all. Have a wonderful life. It is just that some of us who choose to afford ourselves of the wonderful aspects that the 21st century offers, prefer companionship with someone who is amazing, that we have chosen. Perhaps neither of us is right or wrong. Modernity vs. mideival tradition. What do you prefer If you have free choice and are not being dictated to by your family? For me it is most definitely the former. I am thankful every day it was born into a culture that allowed me to make those kinds of decisions, and determine my own fate.

[Crazy chef 1]

What I've never understood, is how they can think we're all so rich, and so stupid at the same time?

Interesting question. It is based to a large extent on decades of intellectual drivel. Many very, very small minded people have used a nationalistic agenda to enrich themselves, and establish a power base. So, a percentage of Thais have become brainwashed by this nonsense. When I ask, why is it that foreigners win the majority of nobel peace prizes, pulitzers, peabodys, oscars, and other awards that acknowledge their excellence in their respective fields of endeavor, and very few Thais ever get recognized, they say "not sure". Well I am sure. One of the things I am sure about, is that most farangs are not stupid. Some are quite brilliant. What is stupid, is to continue to believe these lies, misconceptions, silly beliefs, and racist rants about foreigners. So, people, it is time to wise up. Thailand is now a nation poised to become a leader in the region, and that requires wise, mature, and well informed thought and actions. The time to start on that path is NOW.

i bag your pardon but i think the time is not now.the time to walk the way has been some 5-10 years ago but unfortunately not spotted me thinks other asian nations will take over- sadly.

[FiftyTwo]

None of us here on TV have an issue with someone your mom and dad set you up with. None at all. Have a wonderful life. It is just that some of us who choose to afford ourselves of the wonderful aspects that the 21st century offers, prefer companionship with someone who is amazing, that we have chosen. Perhaps neither of us is right or wrong. Modernity vs. mideival tradition. What do you prefer If you have free choice and are not being dictated to by your family? For me it is most definitely the former. I am thankful every day it was born into a culture that allowed me to make those kinds of decisions, and determine my own fate.

And yet, the divorce rate for those who married for love, is higher than at any period in history.

Seems that choosing your partner for love, isn't working out very well for most of us.

Maybe mums and dads made better decisions about marriage partners than your hard cock did (can I say that?).

[swissie]

None of us here on TV have an issue with someone your mom and dad set you up with. None at all. Have a wonderful life. It is just that some of us who choose to afford ourselves of the wonderful aspects that the 21st century offers, prefer companionship with someone who is amazing, that we have chosen. Perhaps neither of us is right or wrong. Modernity vs. mideival tradition. What do you prefer If you have free choice and are not being dictated to by your family? For me it is most definitely the former. I am thankful every day it was born into a culture that allowed me to make those kinds of decisions, and determine my own fate.

And yet, the divorce rate for those who married for love, is higher than at any period in history.

Seems that choosing your partner for love, isn't working out very well for most of us.

Maybe mums and dads made better decisions about marriage partners than your hard cock did (can I say that?).

OR: Divorce was not possible. Later on, Divorce was a Stigma, so few dared to. Only started to change in the mid-sixties in Europe.

Cheers.

[GuestHouse]

None of us here on TV have an issue with someone your mom and dad set you up with. None at all. Have a wonderful life. It is just that some of us who choose to afford ourselves of the wonderful aspects that the 21st century offers, prefer companionship with someone who is amazing, that we have chosen. Perhaps neither of us is right or wrong. Modernity vs. mideival tradition. What do you prefer If you have free choice and are not being dictated to by your family? For me it is most definitely the former. I am thankful every day it was born into a culture that allowed me to make those kinds of decisions, and determine my own fate.

And yet, the divorce rate for those who married for love, is higher than at any period in history.

Seems that choosing your partner for love, isn't working out very well for most of us.

Maybe mums and dads made better decisions about marriage partners than your hard cock did (can I say that?).

Swissie has given reasons why the divorce rate amongst people who marry for love has changed (actually going down at the moment).

But the other side of the equation is why is the divorce rate lower in arranged marriages - you cannot concluded they are more successful marriages until you examine the self same cultural attitudes to divorce, and clearly arrange marriages take place in a culture where the bride and groom subjugate their wishes to those of their parents.

[TheSpade]

Inclusive in the question should also be the question what motivated the Farang male to come to Thailand, the answer for most is access to young, beautiful, slender, available women

Yet so many of them are with old / fat / ugly / all of the above Thai women.

[FiftyTwo]

But the other side of the equation is why is the divorce rate lower in arranged marriages - you cannot concluded they are more successful marriages until you examine the self same cultural attitudes to divorce, and clearly arrange marriages take place in a culture where the bride and groom subjugate their wishes to those of their parents.

Or just maybe, love isn't such an important ingredient to a successful marriage, as Hollywood seems to have many of you thinking.

Or, another thought, those who value love above all, divorce when they cease to love. Love is inherently short-time.

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

Edited October 20, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[FiftyTwo]

Inclusive in the question should also be the question what motivated the Farang male to come to Thailand, the answer for most is access to young, beautiful, slender, available women

Yet so many of them are with old / fat / ugly / all of the above Thai women.

Age always takes it's toll.

Are you seriously suggesting everyone should dump their wife, when they are no longer young and slim?

Edited October 20, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[GuestHouse]

But the other side of the equation is why is the divorce rate lower in arranged marriages - you cannot concluded they are more successful marriages until you examine the self same cultural attitudes to divorce, and clearly arrange marriages take place in a culture where the bride and groom subjugate their wishes to those of their parents.

Or just maybe, love isn't such an important ingredient to a successful marriage, as Hollywood seems to have many of you thinking.

Or, another thought, those who value love above all, divorce when they cease to love. Love is inherently short-time.

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

And are you going to take this forward into discussing domestic violence in Korean relationships? Or would you rather I left your pretty picture of Koreans having solved the riddle of successful marriage.

And since it was you that brought up the matter of 'Hollywood' setting the way we think.

In Thailand, lest you have not noticed, the cultural influences are flooding in from Korea - Romantic films and soaps being a great hit amongst Thais.

I'm not denying there is a myth, rather I'm point out the myth is the one you are peddling that romance is a western invention.

Classical (pre-western influence) Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Indian and indeed Thai literature is replete with tales of romance that would do your demon Hollywood proud.

[crumpled]

None of us here on TV have an issue with someone your mom and dad set you up with. None at all. Have a wonderful life. It is just that some of us who choose to afford ourselves of the wonderful aspects that the 21st century offers, prefer companionship with someone who is amazing, that we have chosen. Perhaps neither of us is right or wrong. Modernity vs. mideival tradition. What do you prefer If you have free choice and are not being dictated to by your family? For me it is most definitely the former. I am thankful every day it was born into a culture that allowed me to make those kinds of decisions, and determine my own fate.

And yet, the divorce rate for those who married for love, is higher than at any period in history.

Seems that choosing your partner for love, isn't working out very well for most of us.

Maybe mums and dads made better decisions about marriage partners than your hard cock did (can I say that?).

OR: Divorce was not possible. Later on, Divorce was a Stigma, so few dared to. Only started to change in the mid-sixties in Europe.

Cheers.

My mother divorced her 1st husband in the 50's. She would never admit it either, too much stigma involved. She always told everyone her 1st husband died. She even moved away from the family to get away from the chatter about it. In those days and before, people did not get divorced very often because of the stigma involved.

These days it is much easier for many in the western world to get a divorce. Sometimes I believe it is too easy. Things get tough, money worries etc and they get divorced at the drop of a hat.

Except in cases of violence and similar, I think life would be better if divorce was not so easy as it is now. Maybe many families would be better off too instead of being fragmented and having so many one parent families about.

[spidermike007]

None of us here on TV have an issue with someone your mom and dad set you up with. None at all. Have a wonderful life. It is just that some of us who choose to afford ourselves of the wonderful aspects that the 21st century offers, prefer companionship with someone who is amazing, that we have chosen. Perhaps neither of us is right or wrong. Modernity vs. mideival tradition. What do you prefer If you have free choice and are not being dictated to by your family? For me it is most definitely the former. I am thankful every day it was born into a culture that allowed me to make those kinds of decisions, and determine my own fate.

And yet, the divorce rate for those who married for love, is higher than at any period in history.

Seems that choosing your partner for love, isn't working out very well for most of us.

Maybe mums and dads made better decisions about marriage partners than your hard cock did (can I say that?).

Yes, but divorce is a simply wonderful improvement in our lives. Why stay with someone you do not like, or want to be with? For the sake of the kids? Be a martyr for the kids? What kind of life is that? They kids know how miserable you are anyway. Modernity has offered us a lot, over the old fashioned approach. I consider the rise in divorce rates to be a sign of progress, as it means people are no longer content to live lives of misery. In the past you stayed together due to social pressure or social stigma. Now, we are free to live more fulfilling lives. This is true progress, and is a socially positive and wonderful thing.

[elzach]

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

ha ha, that's a good one.

btw, what's the divorce rate in Thailand? I can presume when the stigma is lifted here some day, it could go to 70-80%?

[khunpa]

In my case it is pretty simple. I do not have any money, so that is for sure not what my girlfriend (soon to be wife) expects.

First of all she expects us to be a family and she expects loyalty. So we are pretty much aligned.

People thinking the all Thai-women expect money are wrong. There are women out there, who expect nothing else than someone to be with, that they can trust and love.

[FiftyTwo]

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

ha ha, that's a good one.

btw, what's the divorce rate in Thailand? I can presume when the stigma is lifted here some day, it could go to 70-80%?

@GH

By the way, my personal opinion is that S. Korea is one of the most seriously screwed up places in the world.

I was just describing how their marriages are created and seem to work.

@EZ

Divorce rate in Thailand is a moot point, as hardly anyone bothers to get married in the first place (not even the prime minister).

[Chittychangchang3]

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

ha ha, that's a good one.

btw, what's the divorce rate in Thailand? I can presume when the stigma is lifted here some day, it could go to 70-80%?

There are two types of marriage in Thailand one legal the other ceremonial, most don't bother with the legal marriage.

So it's impossible to calculate.

CCC

[FiftyTwo]

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

ha ha, that's a good one.

btw, what's the divorce rate in Thailand? I can presume when the stigma is lifted here some day, it could go to 70-80%?

There are two types of marriage in Thailand one legal the other ceremonial, most don't bother with the legal marriage.

So it's impossible to calculate.

CCC

There is only one type of marriage in the world, and that is the one your government recognizes.

Anything else is a meaningless ritual.

[ableguy]

faring half babies who will become super rich as a soap opera star and look after mum in her old age.

never have to work for a company again.

Own a home.

Sleep in a real bed.

Someone else to take care of her parents.

Three meals or four or five a day.

And so forth

[inthepink]

But the other side of the equation is why is the divorce rate lower in arranged marriages - you cannot concluded they are more successful marriages until you examine the self same cultural attitudes to divorce, and clearly arrange marriages take place in a culture where the bride and groom subjugate their wishes to those of their parents.

Or just maybe, love isn't such an important ingredient to a successful marriage, as Hollywood seems to have many of you thinking.

Or, another thought, those who value love above all, divorce when they cease to love. Love is inherently short-time.

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

South Korea has the tenth highest divorce rate in the world so I would say that you know relatively little about the country.

Edited October 23, 2013 by inthepink

[AYJAYDEE]

SECURITY, followed by respect and love

[FiftyTwo]

But the other side of the equation is why is the divorce rate lower in arranged marriages - you cannot concluded they are more successful marriages until you examine the self same cultural attitudes to divorce, and clearly arrange marriages take place in a culture where the bride and groom subjugate their wishes to those of their parents.

Or just maybe, love isn't such an important ingredient to a successful marriage, as Hollywood seems to have many of you thinking.

Or, another thought, those who value love above all, divorce when they cease to love. Love is inherently short-time.

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

South Korea has the tenth highest divorce rate in the world so I would say that you know relatively little about the country.

not on this list!

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate

[inthepink]

But the other side of the equation is why is the divorce rate lower in arranged marriages - you cannot concluded they are more successful marriages until you examine the self same cultural attitudes to divorce, and clearly arrange marriages take place in a culture where the bride and groom subjugate their wishes to those of their parents.

Or just maybe, love isn't such an important ingredient to a successful marriage, as Hollywood seems to have many of you thinking.

Or, another thought, those who value love above all, divorce when they cease to love. Love is inherently short-time.

PS

In S. Korea, a country I happen to know a little bit about, there are almost NO love marriages, spouses are introduced by friends or family by something they call 'blind date', usually after age 26, and marriage often takes place on the second meeting, no physical contact allowed before the marriage. S. Korea has hardly any divorces at all.

South Korea has the tenth highest divorce rate in the world so I would say that you know relatively little about the country.

not on this list!

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate

That's because South Korea was not even included in that survey - which is probably why you chose it. If you look at the accompanying map: http://www.nationmaster.com/red/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate&b_map=1 you will see that South Korea is white, which, according to the key, means there was no data for that country.

Try this article: http://www.siliconindia.com/news/general/10-Countries-With-the-Highest-Divorce-Rates-nid-117135-cid-1.html

In the interests of fairness, I will point out that South Korea is only 25th in this Wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography However, it is still above the United Kingdom, Canada, the European Union, New Zealand, and countless other countries that do not have arranged marriages.

And here's a quote from Bloomberg Businessweek, September 2013:

Rates have climbed dramatically in China, Thailand, Iran, and South Korea, which has seen more than a fivefold increase in divorces over the past few decades.

Full article here: http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-09-05/divorces-rise-in-emerging-economies-helps-women-get-ahead

I think that's enough data to show your assertion that "S Korea has hardly any divorces at all" is incorrect.

Edited October 25, 2013 by inthepink