Politely fending off

[GuestHouse]

I am not in this position as I have a wife. But if it was me I would say I like Lady Boy not ladies, try that

And within a very short period of time, you'd be getting introductions to Lady Boys.

Of course, I'm not saying that's a bad thing if its what floats your boat.

[Anon999]

I have some understanding of what the OP is talking about, but I handled things a bit differently. I made it perfectly clear to all yonks ago that I would NOT become romantically involved, and or attached, with any women in or around my Moo Baan, or their relatives. If I did, and the relationship went belly up it could, and most likely would, ruin the nice life I have built here. I am not about to 'crap in my own nest'. I am the only farang here and I have great friends and I am a respected member of my community. My Mother In Law is one of the 'Originals' of the oo Baan. We talk about this subject now and again and both have a good laugh about it,

They clearly understand and respect my decision. My male friends have even given up trying to talk me into getting myself a 18-20 YO. I think I would rather stick forks in my eyes to be honest.

My Thai Wife (28 Years) and I agreed to formally separate a few years ago. She stays in Australia with her business, and I stay in Bangkok, retired. We just went different ways. No animosity. No fighting. No nastiness. As a matter of a fact she was here for my birthday in June and again just 2 weeks ago, where she stayed with me for a few days. We are good mates. We went through some tough times together during our marriage in Oz. So I have been there and done that!

This setup amuses the Thais no end when I tell them, cabbies especially, piss themselves. Why should I invite problems upon myself. Most, after due consideration, can only nod in agreeance.

Now, I am truly enjoying freedom and independence for the first time in my life. I have become used to it, set in my ways. I like it, and there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

I come and go as I please, answer to noone, debt free, good health. Mai Me Pan Ha.

And let us not beat around the bush. If one feels the urge. Thailand is one huge library, where one does not necessarily have to buy a book.

No good being coy about it, just tell them how it is.

Sounds similar to a 40 year old single friend of mine in England. However, a couple of years ago he collapsed late one night without any warning but near enough to his mobile that he was able to call the emergency services. He is now reconsidering his position as being on his own 'put the wind up him'.

[Benmart]

Say yes - get the house cleaned, washing and ironing done , dishes cleaned etc. get laid and then kick them out - been working for years here...........

The revolving door. Might work for some, but for others, they get trapped and go around and around and ...

We might have to answer for our earthly deeds someday.

[Anon999]

Some good stuff here. I'll pull together a crib sheet from it.

Yes, the knob no work one was just a defensive reflex action to the most recent "offer".

Years back one single lady walked in, did the washing up and then went to the bedroom. She waited there a long time before figuring out I was hiding round at MIL's place. I now make sure you could eat your dinner off the floor, thus no improvements can be added by the lady.

There is someone I do love, but she's a consultant chartered geologist from Newcastle.

Why not tell the truth and say the 'love of your life' is living in England right now so you're not interested in anyone else. Is that difficult?

[animatic]

Learn to be a man and politely decline for starters...

But how without causing any offence to the offering party?

I don't like making other people feel bad in any way.

Oh sorry you were confused,

I am seeing (am in love with) someone, but she doesn't live in town.

We get together regularly, but not here. Sorry for the confusion.

[mca]

Simply say

" Great. I could do with the company. That screaming little girl ghost with the ripped out eyes who appears in the corner of my bedroom every night was starting to shit me up."

or

" What a great idea. I need somebody to share the bills"

[flyingdoc]

I have never considered the word 'no', difficult to utter, especially when said with a smile!

[cpofc]

I have some understanding of what the OP is talking about, but I handled things a bit differently. I made it perfectly clear to all yonks ago that I would NOT become romantically involved, and or attached, with any women in or around my Moo Baan, or their relatives. If I did, and the relationship went belly up it could, and most likely would, ruin the nice life I have built here. I am not about to 'crap in my own nest'. I am the only farang here and I have great friends and I am a respected member of my community. My Mother In Law is one of the 'Originals' of the oo Baan. We talk about this subject now and again and both have a good laugh about it,

They clearly understand and respect my decision. My male friends have even given up trying to talk me into getting myself a 18-20 YO. I think I would rather stick forks in my eyes to be honest.

My Thai Wife (28 Years) and I agreed to formally separate a few years ago. She stays in Australia with her business, and I stay in Bangkok, retired. We just went different ways. No animosity. No fighting. No nastiness. As a matter of a fact she was here for my birthday in June and again just 2 weeks ago, where she stayed with me for a few days. We are good mates. We went through some tough times together during our marriage in Oz. So I have been there and done that!

This setup amuses the Thais no end when I tell them, cabbies especially, piss themselves. Why should I invite problems upon myself. Most, after due consideration, can only nod in agreeance.

Now, I am truly enjoying freedom and independence for the first time in my life. I have become used to it, set in my ways. I like it, and there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

I come and go as I please, answer to noone, debt free, good health. Mai Me Pan Ha.

And let us not beat around the bush. If one feels the urge. Thailand is one huge library, where one does not necessarily have to buy a book.

No good being coy about it, just tell them how it is.

Sounds similar to a 40 year old single friend of mine in England. However, a couple of years ago he collapsed late one night without any warning but near enough to his mobile that he was able to call the emergency services. He is now reconsidering his position as being on his own 'put the wind up him'.

My Thai mates have brought this subject up with me on previous occasions. What happens if I get crook. Or even if I should die. Have I made any arrangements. Who will look aftrer me? Would I remain in Thailand? Etc., Etc.

Well, I guess if I died I wouldn't have to worry about it. And yes, having lived among Buddhists long enough to know that the chances are I will get sick, before I die, and this is cause for consideration I agree. In the meantime, I think I'll be OK, and besides, things always have a way of working themselves out.

I am not totally opposed to the idea of having another relationship in my lifetime, if it happens it happens, but I am not actively seeking, and I won't be doing it for all the wrong reasons.

One can not lives one's life based on what MIGHT happen in the future.

Your mate could always invest in one of the Back To Base Monitored Medical Alert pendants that you wear around your neck. LOL

[Estrada]

Say you're a sex maniac and need at least 6 a day, that will fend them off

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Many of the Thai girls I know are sex maniacs and need at least 6 a day full service. Better run for the hills if you tell them that.

[Estrada]

A better idea is to tell her you would like to take it slowly before she moves in with you.

First tell her that you want to her to pay for the replacement of your sick buffalo that has died. Secondly, ask her to buy you a mobile phone, followed by a car, an engagement ring (Cartier) and later a house. After that, ask her to pay you a Sin Sot, of say B10 million.

Edited October 19, 2013 by Estrada

[transam]

OP, I get that all the time , ....................but the wife does take umbrance............. ..............

[A1Str8]

Just say no. That's it.

 

Yes. That's it. 

 

Bothersome to read all the PC, light stepping, wussie responses from modern 'men'.

Bothersome to read judging comments from 'men' who dont know me.

[dao16]

Smile, laugh and say something like "you know me....not looking for a woman." This is particularly fun since you can practice using that high-pitched stretched out vowel sound thing to emphasize your point. ^^

[slipperylobster]

Tell them you cannot give an allowance, but they can stop over for a good bumping once or twice a week, it they call first and bring free beer.

[Bagwan]

I cannot believe what I am reading in this post are all the men on TV total wimps and scared of Thai women..... its easy just say NO, if they wont take NO for an answer PISS off usually will work. But I guess there are no men on here with the guts to say that.

PB

Being considered manly does not include the requirement to be uncouth and/or insensitive. If one of your loved ones died I suppose that the doctor telling you that he/she snuffed it would be OK with you.

[rwdrwdrwd]

I am not in this position as I have a wife. But if it was me I would say I like Lady Boy not ladies, try that

Hah! I can see that backfiring rather dramatically

[kikoman]

When I lived in Sattahip, that has happened to me a few times, I simply reply I just got out of a bad relationship and at the moment have no desire to enter any type of relationship

Does not offend anyone and people seem to understand my response.

Cheers:

Edited October 19, 2013 by kikoman

[how241]

What is the Thai phrase for " I have enough dependents, i do not need any more!"

CCC

ha ha ha ....Good one !

[joboss]

Thanks BJP for an interesting subject.

I have read all the replies and suggestions so far and I agree that to remain polite is the way.

Please remember that you are from Mars and woman are from Venus.

There is no reason. You are going to have to "wing it"

[sirchai]

Couldn't you just have told her that she'd be too ugly? Don't have to lie about your Non functioning tool. -

[theblether]

It's a shame that the OP has reduced himself to lying and embarrassing his visitors by being sexual.

Better he learns to tell the truth, "The only thing that matters in my life is my kids. I can bring them up alone just the same way as many Thai women can bring their kids up alone. I will not confuse them or upset them by bringing another women into their life. My kids come first".

In answer to the first line . . . I wasn't lying Blether.

In answer to the second . . . yes totally correct.

Sorry to hear you weren't lying.

[Skorz]

I don't get it. You're single, straight (assuming) and you're turning the opportunity of an almost certain easy lay down by the wayside.

Christ sake man, it must be awful for you.

Why are you even in Thailand if you're not going to take advantage of the local talent?

[MJP]

It's a shame that the OP has reduced himself to lying and embarrassing his visitors by being sexual.

Better he learns to tell the truth, "The only thing that matters in my life is my kids. I can bring them up alone just the same way as many Thai women can bring their kids up alone. I will not confuse them or upset them by bringing another women into their life. My kids come first".

In answer to the first line . . . I wasn't lying Blether.

In answer to the second . . . yes totally correct.

Sorry to hear you weren't lying.

Nah, it's alright, in fact I highly recommend it!

You suddenly have loads of other interests and life becomes a lot more . . . well . . . interesting.

[rascalman]

Learn to be a man and politely decline for starters...

I'd say he is a man, very polite. Nothing is wrong with that!

[MJP]

Learn to be a man and politely decline for starters...

I'd say he is a man, very polite. Nothing is wrong with that!

A very tired man.

A message to all the ladies out there running households and raising children. A stand with you, solidarity in our struggle.

It's tough going is this! It's as bad as running a major regeneration project, very similar techniques in fact. Budgets, logistics, methods, dealing with personnel, conflict resolution. The hours are similar too.

[SPIKECM]

i'm trying hard to think of any women I know who live without running water .....

[GrantSmith]

Right Martha Stewart!

Time to take off your skirt and put on those big boy pants!

Shag every one of them - if they're up your alley of course, yes fat chicks need love to yada yada yada but at the end of the day, unless you're a 'feeder' you'll be broke in no time...

Now stay with me, there's method in amongst the madness!

By shagging those worthwhile shagging, natures progression will take care of the rest.

You'll be the hottest gossip in the moo baan! You slept with this girl and that girl and that girl AND her sister!

Hopefully you'll see where I'm going with this, you'll have a reputation for being a womanizer and the offers to come 'round for 'tea' will dry up and you'll be left with - hopefully - some time to tend to your garden...

God speed!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[MJP]

Right Martha Stewart!

Time to take off your skirt and put on those big boy pants!

Shag every one of them - if they're up your alley of course, yes fat chicks need love to yada yada yada but at the end of the day, unless you're a 'feeder' you'll be broke in no time...

Now stay with me, there's method in amongst the madness!

By shagging those worthwhile shagging, natures progression will take care of the rest.

You'll be the hottest gossip in the moo baan! You slept with this girl and that girl and that girl AND her sister!

Hopefully you'll see where I'm going with this, you'll have a reputation for being a womanizer and the offers to come 'round for 'tea' will dry up and you'll be left with - hopefully - some time to tend to your garden...

God speed!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Grant, thank you for your kind thoughts but I honestly think this strategy would be an utter disaster.

[Kripe]

i have had the same (for a short while only) and the easiest/quickest way to deal with it is simply saying "may ow" (which will not offend people, period). i like being alone (khun deow, sabai sabai) and free. most thai folks i know have concluded i don't like asian women. fair enough.

fact is, having a drink/tea with a single thai woman is looking for "trouble". they don't understand the concept of "pals" between women and men, especially farang man. i learned that pretty fast as i was and still am NOT interested in any sort of love relationship with a thai woman.

Dont forget to add "krap" - "may ow" will be considered impolite while "mai ow krap" is not

[fire and ice]

Learn to be a man and politely decline for starters...

But how without causing any offence to the offering party?

I don't like making other people feel bad in any way.

Grown up and realise you are not responsible for how other people feel (especially when you are honest with them).

at risk of going off topic: if only Thai's realised this they could do away with the whole 'face' thing. It seems Buddhism has taught them little about personal responsibility.