True love possible?

[timtscott]

I'm divorced 52 American man with no kids and plan to retire to CM in a couple of years. I have visited Thailand 10 or 12 times. I have heard a lot of horror stories of relationships gone bad between farangs and Thai ladies. I realize that can happen anywhere, between any races, but also know there are folks who do not have the best of intentions.

I am cautious in relationships and do not plan to be taken for a ride. But I do want to date, develop a meaningful relationship that may eventually lead to marriage. I understand the family issues one may face. I was married here in the US to a lovely Cambodian woman and although we did help her family financially from time to time, when we got an unreasonable request, we simply said no. At times her family would be disappointed, but they would eventually get over it and I still retained good relationships with them throughout the marriage and even after the divorce.

My question is it just as common to meet a nice Thai lady who simply wants a good relationship/marriage?

I have been seeing a nice Peruvian woman who I think would follow me to Thailand if I proposed. It's a bit early in the relationship to take that step. Even if it got to that point, I am not sure how moving to Thailand would complicate things. My plans for moving to Thailand are firm so she would have to agree to join me. But given that may or may not pan out, I was wondering the prospect of finding a serious non exploitation relationship in the land of smiles?

I hope no one is offended by this post. I don't mean to prejudge any group of people and I know exploitation works both ways.

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Edited October 28, 2013 by timtscott

[AYJAYDEE]

of course its possible.

[maxx58]

When I was thinking of retirement places I traveled to the Dominican Republic and Costa Rica. Although I had visited both places often and developed relationships in both countries I soon realized that they were too third world for me. An acquaintance from my travels to Costa Rica retired to Thailand and all of the info that he gave me seemed real positive.

I decided to make a visit and see if I liked it. I joined one of the dating sites - not looking for a girlfriend or a wife, just someone who could show me around Bangkok, which was where I preferred to live. To make a long story short, I met a girl online and something clicked right away. I made plans to visit her and explore the area and everything fell into place. I visited thrice a year for three and a half years and now I am retired living comfortably and happily with my g/f. So yes, it's possible to find true love over here. There are plenty of decent, lovely Thai women here. You just have to be smart and realistic in your choices.

Forget about bringing the Peruvian woman here. A Latina woman would feel so out of place here. I have been married to one and had many Latina girlfriends. The culture is just so vastly different. She will soon tire of the loss of family, friends, and the Spanish language, which is scarce here. Then she will become a burden to you.

[CharlieH]

Anything is "possible" and its entirely up to you and what standards and lifestyle you live. If you play in the sewer there is a good chance you will be caught by a rat! This would apply in any country.

Just dont let your actions be controlled by the smaller head! There is only enugh blood to use one at a time !

Be careful, be slow, take care.

Good luck.

Edited October 28, 2013 by CharlieH

[TheSpade]

Why come here specifically looking for 'true love'? That's clearly not how true love works. You don't go searching for it determined to find it in 'X' country or with 'X' type of women.

If you find it you find it and that could happen elsewhere.

Retire to Thailand because you like Thailand and want to live here not for any other reason.

[chrisinth]

Tim, judging from your OP you are either planning too far ahead or you want marriage more than you do a relationship. Nothing wrong with keeping the options open, but what happens to your current relationship with the Peruvian lady if she is not up to marriage?

Just my thoughts, not meant to offend...............

[krisb]

Lot of writing for 1 kind of silly question from a 52yo whos travelled there enough times to know the answer.

Anyhow sounds like a nice retirement plan to me!

[FiftyTwo]

of course its possible.

Not if you are 52 and she is 30.

(Really, really not possible if you are fat, bald and an alcoholic)

Edited October 28, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[I knew this would happen]

of course its possible. +1

If you read all the horror stories already, you should have an idea about the dos and don´ts.

Yes, there are golddiggers out there, quite a lot. They will rob you and then kick you out of your own home. The biggest mistake is, to trust anyone right away and follow her to Nakhon Nowhere, build a house, buy a truck and think that the happy life will begin right now. It won´t!

Whatever you decide,in any case i would recommend you to get to know the real Thailand first. Don´t destroy all bridges to home, don´t sell your house right away or throw everything into the bin. Holiday memories are nice, everyday life isn´t. Rent a nice small condo first, maybe get a cheaper 2nd hand car and see how you get along with the real Thailand. Not just me, even my wife sometimes thought of going back home because Thailand got "strange" to her after working and living in the west.

If you´re going to try with a Thai women, keep a low profile first. Stay for youself and live your own life. Stay independent as long as you can, to be sure about her and her intensions. If she seems to get along quite well with her own life you can make a step towards a serious relation.

[timtscott]

Thanks for the replies. I know anything is possible I guess I was just hoping to hear about some success stories... one reads of so many bad experiences. Anyway thanks again for your thoughts.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Dr Robert]

Dear Dorothy,

I am a bleeding heart and my sleeves are wet. Dare I seek the counsel of Thai visa forum? oh if I only had a brain, the courage of a lion, a heart that beat true. Tell where I should seek these things oh wise one

yours, TMT

Dear TMT,

<deleted>, this ain't Kansas toots, grow some balls and make your own mind up and stop bleeding on my carpet.

kind regards

Dorothy

[FiftyTwo]

Thanks for the replies. I know anything is possible I guess I was just hoping to hear about some success stories... one reads of so many bad experiences. Anyway thanks again for your thoughts.

I have a success story (4 years so far).

A beautiful young wife, 20 years younger than me.

A good looking 2 year old child and we live in a nice house.

I am not a fat, balding alcoholic, and I have a very hansum wallet.

(I suspect the last fact is the important one)

[I knew this would happen]

My wife is 1 year older than i´am

Success since 12 years.

[MrWorldwide]

Just choose very carefully. I'm not going to say they aren't out there, but the bigger the 'age+wealth' differential, the tougher it becomes IME.

[timtscott]

Oh hell, just asked a question, thought that was the whole concept behind the forum, why the bitterness? Have another beer and relax. Replies are not mandatory you know?

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[timtscott]

Fifty two - congratulations sounds like you hit the jackpot!

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[supaprik]

anything is possible....

I have been with my beautiful Thai lady for 3 years now ...we get married this Sunday!!!

[kikoman]

Sure it is possible,

The Thai is not any different than any other women, you have to beware where you look for her. Many of the Horror stories come because a older man can fall in Lust with a pretty young sex worker, because a her youth and her attention. I am not saying they would not make a good wife, but there are great looking lonely women all over Thailand, as some women in their late 20's are considered old maids.

All you need is do not be in a hurry to find "True love" when you lest expect it will find you.

I also think it would be a mistake to bring the lady from Peru to Thailand, if you find a Latin American women settle in South America, As I am Mexican there is nothing here for her but loneliness, in 13 years I have met only a handful of people that can converse in Spanish. If you are planning to move to Thailand, you would be better off with an Asian women.

Good Luck

Cheers: .

[willyumiii]

I have a wonderful Thai wife that I have known for 13 years and have been married to for almost 11 years now.

She has stuck with me through good and some very bad times as well. Major medical and financial crises alike.

She had been more loyal, faithful and supportive than I imagine most western women would be.

Some Thai women can be the best wife imaginable.

But as others have stated:

Be careful.

Take your time.

Get to really know her.

Know her motives, plans and expectations.

I guestimate that your odds of getting a good one are less than 50/50.

Many are looking for a farang husband for all of the wrong reasons.

A good start is looking for one who is educated and employed in a respectable line of work, one who has a relatively comfortable life without you!

You don't want one who expects you to be Superman and financially rescue her entire family and village!

My wife has proven without a doubt that she loves me. Not my money, not my country or my plans for the future, but she loves me.

Choke dee!

P.S. The one thing no man needs to bring to Thailand from another country...is a woman!

Edited October 28, 2013 by willyumiii

[beachproperty]

Like everyone has said ....Yeah its possible....As happened to many who already responded I also found "my special one" been together the best 7 years of my life....looking forward to the next 20

BUT just one question....Your with a Peruvian woman now....and presumably thinking of asking her to marry you?....Why would you ask about meeting a Thai women and having a relationship? And ....have you been to Peru (I never have ....so have no insights)....Is it a place you might like to live?

Wish you the best "whatever" you do though!

PS ....just so you know

Indices Difference Consumer Prices in Peru are 4.07% higher than in Thailand Consumer Prices Including Rent in Peru are 2.87% lower than in Thailand Rent Prices in Peru are 21.32% lower than in Thailand Restaurant Prices in Peru are 44.25% higher than in Thailand Groceries Prices in Peru are 19.90% lower than in Thailand Local Purchasing Power in Peru is 11.13% higher than in Thailan

http://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/compare_countries_result.jsp?country1=Thailand&country2=Peru

Edited October 28, 2013 by beachproperty

[arthurwait]

Of course it's possible with the right woman who wants similar and is at a similar place in her life.

A bargirl, internet hunter half your age who is looking for someone to pay for her and her layabout family to sit on their lazy backsides for the rest of their lives isn't the right person.

[DavidMavec]

Take the Peruvian woman here, what's to lose? Maybe less baggage from the Peruvians, I used to live in different South American countries and the locals are more relaxed with foreigners, not always in our face thinking money.

[Beetlejuice]

Over the years attitudes towards relationships have changed dramatically in Thailand.

I have been with my Thai wife over 30 years; both in our 50s now and the ways of thinking were completely different in the days when we first met.

These days I just don`t feel that Thai women make good wife/girlfriend partners anymore and best not to become too deeply involved with them.

Down my way there is a Thai family. The guy has a very attractive daughter in her late 30s. She is not and has never been a bar girl but has her own business as an exporter of antique goods. All sounds good and would appear as an ideal catch for any discerning farang. But this woman is something like the black widow spider. Over the years she has had a string of profiles on dating websites. She always aims for farang guys in they’re 50s and early 60s because she believes that guys in this age group are more likely to have money and be more desperate for a younger female companion. After the first couple of dates she invites the farangs to meet her family, than the process for extracting these men of a lot of money begins, with stories that she requires money for her ailing business, the father needs a stomach operation and so on. Within the last 2 years the parents have had a new home built, new vehicles purchased and so on with the monies obtained by scamming these farangs. It is well known by the locals how this family have acquired their newfound wealth. There was one particular German man that we know gave this woman almost 1.5 million baht before she dumped him. My wife and I have said; one day this woman is going to choose the wrong victim and end up dead.

Many of the Thai women can now be compared with their counterparts in the West, where basically all they want is a child and to accumulate wealth for a comfortable life later on without a male partner. I am not in anyway intentionally denigrating Thai women, my point is that it`s a sign of the times and whatever you do, has to be done at your own risk and discretion, or in other words, tread carefully out there, it can be dangerous world where you stand to lose everything, even your life in some cases.

[DavidMavec]

I think South American women (I am referring to almost all countries because I have spent time in almost all of them) are generally a more interesting, broad minded, and honest bunch.

[MrThai]

Yes it is very possible.

I know many farangs in Thailand who have a succesful marriage/relationship. They have a home together, a child together.

For me my lady is 5 years older than me, never thought I would have an older woman but I do so deal with it. We have been together 5 or 6 years now and from day 1 I made it clear I am not a rich man. She does not think money is the most important thing, she wants love and stability. We do not leave life beyond our means and we are happy.

I have always told my friends who go to Thailand for the 1st time never flash your cash as someone will latch on to you.

I have spoken to my missus about your post and she hopes you find the true love you are looking for, so do I buddy. Keep us posted.

[umbanda]

Thanks for the replies. I know anything is possible I guess I was just hoping to hear about some success stories... one reads of so many bad experiences. Anyway thanks again for your thoughts.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

It is very nice to see so many good comments and advise, instead of pessimistic ones. Take the time to learn about Thai culture and traditions, the good and bad, and one day you will recognize a good soul and good atributes in a woman. I was very close to giving up, because bad experiences and because I am very picky. Finally, after 3 years of dating many women, I found real love and I never was so happy in all my life. Sincerely.

[beachproperty]

Told MY WIFE about your post and she said she has 4 friends who she wants to introduce you to...(not all at once !)

Never fails to amaze me that Thai women, when I meet them, ALWAYS ask me "Do you have any single farang friends for me"

Edited October 28, 2013 by beachproperty

[transam]

Yes it is always possible, but how long it lasts is another thing.

[David48]

Yes it is always possible, but how long it lasts is another thing.

Does that statement relate to how many Viagra are consumed?

[foggy1]

True love possible?

yes of course it is for all the reasons many people have stated.

Personally I retired in Thailand at 50, 3 and a half years ago and am having a great life of adventure exploring and deveolping new interests and boundaries and of course new friends.

Thats where I put my efforts and eneries being in a new country. Its also a way to be happy here because u have time to develope yourself.

If 'TRUE' love comes then grab it with both hands and forget the burdon of a clingon now for all the wrong reasons.

Enjoy the stay :-)