Breaking news to a friend that they are being lied to?

[ika]

This seems more like a victory lap than a story of a concerned friend.

hardly a victory given that I've been watching him be milked from the sidelines for months. just one of those things I wasn't sure about.

Is this resort not something HE wants to do too?? Then I don't see the problem. He's old enough to know where he wants to put his money. If the gf "got him into it" then he's just plain stupid.

[nongsangcity]

a friend of mine was being treated very badly by his woman.......all his western friend knew what was going on and nobody had the balls to tell him....when he found out about the situation he was badly shaken and annoyed that none of his western friends told him what was happening behind his back...not only did he kick he woman in to touch but he also kicked his western friends in to touch.............

[BookMan]

a friend of mine was being treated very badly by his woman.......all his western friend knew what was going on and nobody had the balls to tell him....when he found out about the situation he was badly shaken and annoyed that none of his western friends told him what was happening behind his back...not only did he kick he woman in to touch but he also kicked his western friends in to touch.............

Of course U told him what was going on?

[maddas]

for what its worth, this aussie bush pig says let him know one way or the other, many ideas in this thread, if he spits the dummy with you then, his loss, end of story, cheers added,,,,, no need to complicate life, go with the basics

Edited November 12, 2013 by maddas

[malcyx]

555 NEWS .. your gf says I can have room the weekend you wanted to go stay with friend..

That's all the evidence you have ...

He is spending money , which is needed for resort .. (his not yours I presume)

Some people who don't have long to go on this planet, like to release there cash , help an

individual or two out for there future after he goes .. (even if they know the lady is playing around) .

People make mistakes ... are you about to ..

[donniereadit]

You don't know what she's really telling him. People often twist things around, especially with people they know.

Mention a similar story in jest over lunch next time, that should get any hint across that needs to be sent.

[geronimo]

It all depends on your choice of words and timing. If your good at both of those then give him the heads up, if not, leave it alone and it will surface when it is ready!

[10Yen]

I don't believe the OP.

If he really was a Friend, why would you come here and seek advice from complete strangers who do not know you, do not know the supposed friend and who may or may not be who they portray themselves to be. It's an anonymous forum <deleted>.

I have only read the first page, but I think this post was made to start off a Thai Female bashing frenzy, what a surprise, what a rarity.

[hellodolly]

Tell him. I know if it were me I would want to know. For those that have not graduated the Water Buffalo University and think they know all, it will never happen to you, you are wrong. Tell the man everything you know and if he can't take the truth, tough. There are people, mostly Thai/Lao that know what has happened with me, but they only give info in dribbles, ah water-boarding anyone? I've only been here 11 years, I'm still trying to find out what has happened and that is as far as I go just in case some busy body figures out who I am, wants to run their mouth and screw up my marriage next. Farangs are as bad in gossip as the Thai women that love to start trouble with their gossip.

The truth, the truth, the truth. I'd rather have the pain from the truth than the pain from not knowing.

Now studying for a graduate degree at Water Buffalo U.

It all boils down to money, each and every time, even if she does care just a little about you. Family first, always and she will always go with the money, always.

I have a great wife she cares about me and takes good care of me in fact it is overboard. for instance I am clumsy been that way all my life. We walk down the street and she points out every thing I could possibly trip on. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.

But as you say family comes first. She has old family values and for that I respect her. I am replaceable but her family is not.

I can not imagine it ever coming to that point but she to is replaceable my family is not.

[Rob180]

This is so common here you would think that Hallmark or Moonpig would have a pre-printed greetings card for it available in Tesco.

"Just heard you're being taken for a prat."

[Rob180]

Kittenkong.... That sums it up without any further need for advice .

Edited November 12, 2013 by Rob180

[sgtsabai]

hellodolly,

I too have a great wife. There is no doubt in my mind that contrary to a lot of farangs belief, she would leave me in a heartbeat if she even suspected a mia noi. She may turn a bit of a blind eye to my occasional fishing trips to Pattaya, yes I really do offshore fishing, but I don't "shit in my own backyard" as the old saying goes, and she has plenty spies. That is where the money ends and her pride begins, and I don't blame her. Hence a lot of my present problems, they aren't with her. We tend to generalize too much about Thai/farang relationships, yes the money (security) is always important and family is always #1, but there are many Thai women that really won't put up with a husband that has a mia noi/girlfriend even if they are the major source of income.

All that being said, the OP needs to tell his friend all he knows, book the reservation and see what the real story is. I would suggest the friend show up. The truth isn't usually what we want to hear, but I'd rather hear the truth than the lies and half-truths. Yes it hurts, but the truth will in the long run hurt less. Give me the pain from the truth any day. With knowledge and truth, one can at least make a rational decision, the operative word there is can, doesn't mean all will.

We seem to have a lot of heartless people here that have never been to Water Buffalo U., bet you most have but don't want it known. Like so many farangs where I live that met their wife on the internet, the Wat, at a restaurant, etc. Yea, and I walked on the moon.

[AYJAYDEE]

hellodolly,

I too have a great wife. There is no doubt in my mind that contrary to a lot of farangs belief, she would leave me in a heartbeat if she even suspected a mia noi. She may turn a bit of a blind eye to my occasional fishing trips to Pattaya, yes I really do offshore fishing, but I don't "shit in my own backyard" as the old saying goes, and she has plenty spies. That is where the money ends and her pride begins, and I don't blame her. Hence a lot of my present problems, they aren't with her. We tend to generalize too much about Thai/farang relationships, yes the money (security) is always important and family is always #1, but there are many Thai women that really won't put up with a husband that has a mia noi/girlfriend even if they are the major source of income.

All that being said, the OP needs to tell his friend all he knows, book the reservation and see what the real story is. I would suggest the friend show up. The truth isn't usually what we want to hear, but I'd rather hear the truth than the lies and half-truths. Yes it hurts, but the truth will in the long run hurt less. Give me the pain from the truth any day. With knowledge and truth, one can at least make a rational decision, the operative word there is can, doesn't mean all will.

We seem to have a lot of heartless people here that have never been to Water Buffalo U., bet you most have but don't want it known. Like so many farangs where I live that met their wife on the internet, the Wat, at a restaurant, etc. Yea, and I walked on the moon.

well you may want to know , but I have seen too many situations where the cuckold blames the messenger and believes the wife. and it makes for a very messy situation.

[sgtsabai]

Then the cuckold is doubly stupid. He deserves what he gets, and those that tell the truth are right. I have no sympathy for those that refuse to believe the truth, and that would include me. I don't shoot the messenger, never have, never will. The truth may not set you free, but without it you cannot be free.

[cherrylee2512]

stay out of it! love is blind she will give him some story he'll fall for it an be angry with you

[glegolo]

My God so many cowards!!!!

Tell the guy the freaking truths ..... If he is turning against you, he is just a miserable friend and nothing more!!! Who cares!!!

I think that people need to have scills in life, and one of them is to be honest and not so enormously coward..

TELL HIM TELL HIM.....

Glegolo

[AYJAYDEE]

My God so many cowards!!!!

Tell the guy the freaking truths ..... If he is turning against you, he is just a miserable friend and nothing more!!! Who cares!!!

I think that people need to have scills in life, and one of them is to be honest and not so enormously coward..

TELL HIM TELL HIM.....

Glegolo

the guy has to sit right beside the guy at work !

[brit1984]

why does the op want to stay at this little resort in the middle of nowhere, run by a woman he doesnt like, anyway?

maybe her husband doesnt like the idea of his nosey "friend" sniffing around his wife and business so just told him its full

[ntg187]

I don't know what there is to consider. This man has told you a lot of information and has not asked you for any suggestions - because asking for help to some people is them admitting their own weakness and is unthinkable. However, you offering suggestions or stone cold facts (that you called and it is not booked) is viewed quite differently by most.

The US Military had a very high suicide rate for a long time until they put training classes into effect to help spot these non verbal signals where people were reaching out for help without having to admit they were suicidal. Sure this isn't the same situation but is in lines with the same psychological ideology. He imo is asking for help without asking for help - something many people do subconsciously.

Only an 'elitist' would come to the conclusion that their own unique life experiences are of a higher quality than anyone else's and dismiss their suggestions and/or advice because you haven't lived in Thailand for 20+ years. While it is generally true that the older and more experienced individuals have more life experience it does not negate the fact that everyone's experiences are different and outside input, regardless of age or experience, may offer a unique perspective on the situation that may have not been previously considered.

I think it is your duty as a human being, who is interested in the well being of another human being, to pass whatever advice, suggestions, or knowledge you have. To not divulge this information in my opinion makes you a part of the negative side of humanity by way of lying by omission. Should we as a species , not make every attempt to help our brothers and sisters, and, just as important, ourselves?

Really you can't expect everyone in this world to live by the same values or moral code... all you can do is what's right by you, and hopefully in doing so it makes the world a little less cold, a little less sad, and a little less dark.

[AYJAYDEE]

I don't know what there is to consider. This man has told you a lot of information and has not asked you for any suggestions - because asking for help to some people is them admitting their own weakness and is unthinkable. However, you offering suggestions or stone cold facts (that you called and it is not booked) is viewed quite differently by most.

The US Military had a very high suicide rate for a long time until they put training classes into effect to help spot these non verbal signals where people were reaching out for help without having to admit they were suicidal. Sure this isn't the same situation but is in lines with the same psychological ideology. He imo is asking for help without asking for help - something many people do subconsciously.

Only an 'elitist' would come to the conclusion that their own unique life experiences are of a higher quality than anyone else's and dismiss their suggestions and/or advice because you haven't lived in Thailand for 20+ years. While it is generally true that the older and more experienced individuals have more life experience it does not negate the fact that everyone's experiences are different and outside input, regardless of age or experience, may offer a unique perspective on the situation that may have not been previously considered.

I think it is your duty as a human being, who is interested in the well being of another human being, to pass whatever advice, suggestions, or knowledge you have. To not divulge this information in my opinion makes you a part of the negative side of humanity by way of lying by omission. Should we as a species , not make every attempt to help our brothers and sisters, and, just as important, ourselves?

Really you can't expect everyone in this world to live by the same values or moral code... all you can do is what's right by you, and hopefully in doing so it makes the world a little less cold, a little less sad, and a little less dark.

you have no idea if it would be HELPING the guy or not.

[GinBoy2]

Trouble is this tale is like watching Hangover 3. The story is always the same, just gets worse every re-telling. Stay out of it bro

[MyFriend You]

Sorry if it is a bit off topic but 3 ''resorts'' near me are ''knocking'' shops. Everyone locally knows it too.

Puhlees, I am just a illiterate American - what's a 'knocking shop'

BTW I have been coming to Thailand since 1972, owned a bar in Pattaya 1973-1978 - saw many American friends taken for all their money they were making in Iran, even coming back to find nothing in the Bank, and the 'Pee Chai' running the bar (not mine) or resturant. Some were even told their Thai wives were taking them to the cleaners by their work buddies, they didn't believe it then, and didn't believe it when they got back to Pats. Knew one guy, I considered close - same story, as soon as he went back to work, she partied, ran around and spent money like crazy - I made the mistake of telling him when he came back - I met him in Bangkok, told him what his wife was doing. Of course he didn't believe me until he found out for himself. A year later, he was drunk and blamed me for ruining his life, if I had just minded my own business he would still be married - I blew it off, until later I was about to drink my Jack n Coke when another guy knocked it out of my hand said "sorry my man, let's get you another one" took me to the bar and told me "the drunk guy poured a 'jug of skag' in your drink" those 'jugs' were vials of pure Heroin - it would have killed me.

Stay out of it, unless he is your brother!!

[AYJAYDEE]

Sorry if it is a bit off topic but 3 ''resorts'' near me are ''knocking'' shops. Everyone locally knows it too.

Puhlees, I am just a illiterate American - what's a 'knocking shop'

BTW I have been coming to Thailand since 1972, owned a bar in Pattaya 1973-1978 - saw many American friends taken for all their money they were making in Iran, even coming back to find nothing in the Bank, and the 'Pee Chai' running the bar (not mine) or resturant. Some were even told their Thai wives were taking them to the cleaners by their work buddies, they didn't believe it then, and didn't believe it when they got back to Pats. Knew one guy, I considered close - same story, as soon as he went back to work, she partied, ran around and spent money like crazy - I made the mistake of telling him when he came back - I met him in Bangkok, told him what his wife was doing. Of course he didn't believe me until he found out for himself. A year later, he was drunk and blamed me for ruining his life, if I had just minded my own business he would still be married - I blew it off, until later I was about to drink my Jack n Coke when another guy knocked it out of my hand said "sorry my man, let's get you another one" took me to the bar and told me "the drunk guy poured a 'jug of skag' in your drink" those 'jugs' were vials of pure Heroin - it would have killed me.

Stay out of it, unless he is your brother!!

exactly!! well said

[GinBoy2]

Sorry if it is a bit off topic but 3 ''resorts'' near me are ''knocking'' shops. Everyone locally knows it too.

Puhlees, I am just a illiterate American - what's a 'knocking shop'

BTW I have been coming to Thailand since 1972, owned a bar in Pattaya 1973-1978 - saw many American friends taken for all their money they were making in Iran, even coming back to find nothing in the Bank, and the 'Pee Chai' running the bar (not mine) or resturant. Some were even told their Thai wives were taking them to the cleaners by their work buddies, they didn't believe it then, and didn't believe it when they got back to Pats. Knew one guy, I considered close - same story, as soon as he went back to work, she partied, ran around and spent money like crazy - I made the mistake of telling him when he came back - I met him in Bangkok, told him what his wife was doing. Of course he didn't believe me until he found out for himself. A year later, he was drunk and blamed me for ruining his life, if I had just minded my own business he would still be married - I blew it off, until later I was about to drink my Jack n Coke when another guy knocked it out of my hand said "sorry my man, let's get you another one" took me to the bar and told me "the drunk guy poured a 'jug of skag' in your drink" those 'jugs' were vials of pure Heroin - it would have killed me.

Stay out of it, unless he is your brother!!

Now I'm also an illiterate American, however I believe that translation of the Highbrow British expression 'Knocking Shop' = Brothel.

[ntg187]

People who blame the messengers, in my experience, are only those who can never accept responsibility for their own actions/decisions and instead look out to the world to cast blame.

[ntg187]

Sorry if it is a bit off topic but 3 ''resorts'' near me are ''knocking'' shops. Everyone locally knows it too.

Puhlees, I am just a illiterate American - what's a 'knocking shop'

BTW I have been coming to Thailand since 1972, owned a bar in Pattaya 1973-1978 - saw many American friends taken for all their money they were making in Iran, even coming back to find nothing in the Bank, and the 'Pee Chai' running the bar (not mine) or resturant. Some were even told their Thai wives were taking them to the cleaners by their work buddies, they didn't believe it then, and didn't believe it when they got back to Pats. Knew one guy, I considered close - same story, as soon as he went back to work, she partied, ran around and spent money like crazy - I made the mistake of telling him when he came back - I met him in Bangkok, told him what his wife was doing. Of course he didn't believe me until he found out for himself. A year later, he was drunk and blamed me for ruining his life, if I had just minded my own business he would still be married - I blew it off, until later I was about to drink my Jack n Coke when another guy knocked it out of my hand said "sorry my man, let's get you another one" took me to the bar and told me "the drunk guy poured a 'jug of skag' in your drink" those 'jugs' were vials of pure Heroin - it would have killed me.

Stay out of it, unless he is your brother!!

Did you not just contradict your own advice? Unless the man who slapped your drink away was your brother (described as 'another guy') then you are advocating for your own death are you not? Ya know, since he should have just stayed out of it and let you drink the pure heroin.

[AYJAYDEE]

Sorry if it is a bit off topic but 3 ''resorts'' near me are ''knocking'' shops. Everyone locally knows it too.

Puhlees, I am just a illiterate American - what's a 'knocking shop'

BTW I have been coming to Thailand since 1972, owned a bar in Pattaya 1973-1978 - saw many American friends taken for all their money they were making in Iran, even coming back to find nothing in the Bank, and the 'Pee Chai' running the bar (not mine) or resturant. Some were even told their Thai wives were taking them to the cleaners by their work buddies, they didn't believe it then, and didn't believe it when they got back to Pats. Knew one guy, I considered close - same story, as soon as he went back to work, she partied, ran around and spent money like crazy - I made the mistake of telling him when he came back - I met him in Bangkok, told him what his wife was doing. Of course he didn't believe me until he found out for himself. A year later, he was drunk and blamed me for ruining his life, if I had just minded my own business he would still be married - I blew it off, until later I was about to drink my Jack n Coke when another guy knocked it out of my hand said "sorry my man, let's get you another one" took me to the bar and told me "the drunk guy poured a 'jug of skag' in your drink" those 'jugs' were vials of pure Heroin - it would have killed me.

Stay out of it, unless he is your brother!!

Did you not just contradict your own advice? Unless the man who slapped your drink away was your brother (described as 'another guy') then you are advocating for your own death are you not? Ya know, since he should have just stayed out of it and let you drink the pure heroin.

nonsense

[ntg187]

Sorry if it is a bit off topic but 3 ''resorts'' near me are ''knocking'' shops. Everyone locally knows it too.

Puhlees, I am just a illiterate American - what's a 'knocking shop'

BTW I have been coming to Thailand since 1972, owned a bar in Pattaya 1973-1978 - saw many American friends taken for all their money they were making in Iran, even coming back to find nothing in the Bank, and the 'Pee Chai' running the bar (not mine) or resturant. Some were even told their Thai wives were taking them to the cleaners by their work buddies, they didn't believe it then, and didn't believe it when they got back to Pats. Knew one guy, I considered close - same story, as soon as he went back to work, she partied, ran around and spent money like crazy - I made the mistake of telling him when he came back - I met him in Bangkok, told him what his wife was doing. Of course he didn't believe me until he found out for himself. A year later, he was drunk and blamed me for ruining his life, if I had just minded my own business he would still be married - I blew it off, until later I was about to drink my Jack n Coke when another guy knocked it out of my hand said "sorry my man, let's get you another one" took me to the bar and told me "the drunk guy poured a 'jug of skag' in your drink" those 'jugs' were vials of pure Heroin - it would have killed me.

Stay out of it, unless he is your brother!!

Did you not just contradict your own advice? Unless the man who slapped your drink away was your brother (described as 'another guy') then you are advocating for your own death are you not? Ya know, since he should have just stayed out of it and let you drink the pure heroin.

nonsense

It is quite literally the opposite of nonsense my friend yet you seem to enjoy argument for the pure sake of argument. Tunnelrat told us a story which reflects causality - he did not mind his own business which led him into a situation which put his life in danger - thus he advocates minding your own business. However if said advice was followed by another guy then Tunnelrat would in fact be dead.

While someone may not appreciate the truth, and quite frankly hold you in disdain for having told them it never makes doing right the wrong course of action. This is the foundation of ethics that our society is built upon and is summed up in a single word: integrity. To do the right thing at all times despite the outcome.

[Jib Teenuc]

You've heard the saying...."Don't shoot the messenger"....

Stay out of it

They (we) ALWAYS shoot the messenger.

Sad, but true.

[Thainy Tim]

If he was a friend of any degree.

I would bring up the point of the resort being full when next eating with him, and during mid convo I would pull out my mobile and call the resort as before and make a pre-booking for the 'full' weekend. If still rooms available, would close the call and say 'Like i suspected...she's lying mate'. No going behind his back then was there?

Don't listen to these silly people trying to intimate that you will be murdered for killing the cash cow, it's every likelihood you won't even be named.