kblaze Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Wishing the wise ones of TV could offer some advice on this situation; Colleague has "invested" a significant sum (probably 1-2 mill bht) in his gf's country resort. Its in the mountains and has a lot of greenery and probably 3-4 rooms and places for people to camp. The past couple months shes been hitting him up for 150000, 250000, to add on to the place. He lets her kind of push him around (others do too) and Ive watched it happen painfully since ive known him. Well today I couldn't take it anymore. He had planned to have a visiting friend stay at the resort this weekend and had let his gf know but then today she calls him up and says that the place is full this weekend, no rooms available. Well my BS radar goes off as she has done this to him a couple other times recently and i just dont believe her. Furthermore he's basically paid for the place so he should be telling her "hey my friend is staying this weekend..." Anyways the gf doesnt really know me, so I just called the resort, her number, and asked about rooms for this weekend, making it sound like I wanted one. She said "Hab, Hab room" I said "ok ill call you back later.." My colleague is literally twice my age and has been in Thailand for 30 years so its not a situation where its just easy to say "hey man I checked up behind your back and your gf is lying to you". Its going to severely damage his pride obviously and then theres the fact I called her up behind his back. But of course I could preface it saying that I was concerned and looking out for you. Do I stay out of this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post h90 Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 Stay out of it.....often enough at the end both are angry with you.... 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KittenKong Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 This is so common here you would think that Hallmark or Moonpig would have a pre-printed greetings card for it available in Tesco. "Just heard you're being taken for a prat." 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AYJAYDEE Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 if he is just a colleague stay out of it.if he is a very very close friend you have to find a way to let him know. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bocceball1 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 (edited) You've heard the saying...."Don't shoot the messenger".... Stay out of it Edited November 12, 2013 by bocceball1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Showbags Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 Call back and book the room in friends name...then just tell him job done....you got it for him as a surprise weekend away. 26 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 The thought will be that your chum will not be a paying patron. Sad but true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kblaze Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 if he is just a colleague stay out of it.if he is a very very close friend you have to find a way to let him know. he's a colleague and I would say a friend, but not "very very" close. We sit next to each other every day and eat lunch together 3/5 days and thus we have gotten to know each other very well the past couple years.... but Im putting myself in his shoes and imagining if I was a 60 yr old Brit who had been in TH for 30 years, would I appreciate an American half my age letting me know that im being duped? It would be hard to swallow especially as "my gfs resort" has become a point of pride for him. Im staying quiet..but its hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I know a guy that comes here on a tourist visa to see his bird. He is building a resort in her name . Am waiting for the future . Daft or what. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Johnniey Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 Tell the guy you are staying this weekend after you book it then say you woukd be willing to let his friends go instead. He probably knows he's being lied too but puts up with it. Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 This seems more like a victory lap than a story of a concerned friend. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrWorldwide Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 OP, I'm just keen to hear more about the 'wise ones' you believe are hiding on AK. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paangjang Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Stay out of it.....often enough at the end both are angry with you.... Agree. You rat her and her Thai boyfriend out, you'll be the one getting hurt. Not the old foreigner... Stay out of scam where big money is involved and they don't involve you. "A favor will kill you faster than a bullet" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 if he is just a colleague stay out of it.if he is a very very close friend you have to find a way to let him know. he's a colleague and I would say a friend, but not "very very" close. We sit next to each other every day and eat lunch together 3/5 days and thus we have gotten to know each other very well the past couple years.... but Im putting myself in his shoes and imagining if I was a 60 yr old Brit who had been in TH for 30 years, would I appreciate an American half my age letting me know that im being duped? It would be hard to swallow especially as "my gfs resort" has become a point of pride for him. Im staying quiet..but its hard. you have tto stay quiet. she will convince him you are a liar and he will turn on you. send an anonymous note postmarked upcountry if you must but dont ever put him in a position of choosing between u and her. u will lose and he will then make your work life hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CharlieH Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 (edited) I wouldnt stay out of it if it was a friend. I would talk to him and explain my concerns properly, if he didnt acccept ( and should know) that I was coming from good intentions, good heart etc, and out of genuine concern for him then he isnt the friend I thought I had and they are both welcome to and deserve each other. But that's me. I standby my friends until they prove otherwise. Edited November 12, 2013 by CharlieH 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kblaze Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 This seems more like a victory lap than a story of a concerned friend. hardly a victory given that I've been watching him be milked from the sidelines for months. just one of those things I wasn't sure about. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schmackos Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 He's been here for 30 years, he still has money - he knows the cut of the green. Does the resort have a good watchdog? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 He's been here for 30 years, he still has money - he knows the cut of the green. Does the resort have a good watchdog? Unfortunately not me. .............................. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeijoshinCool Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Lots of woman are leeches, lots more men are suckers. Rarely do they change stripes. But, I do agree with Charlie H. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CharlieH Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 I'll throw one more into the thought......... Relationships come and go, true friends can last a lifetime ! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaicbr Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I'll throw one more into the thought......... Relationships come and go, true friends can last a lifetime ! Or until the ex gf of friend shoots you in the head. But personally I would tell the guy to sort himself out. Sent from my phone with the app thingy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Lots of woman are leeches, lots more men are suckers. Rarely do they change stripes. But, I do agree with Charlie H. After thinking about it l am too. My friend would come first regardless of a few baht lost to the ''wife''. The ''wife'' at times must think of her husband and his life. sadly many of us have seen greed by some that really beggars belief. But us farangs are all different and l have seen a few walked over by their ''wife''. Sad but true. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Opl Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 (edited) i would not consider a 60 years old person as a victim, even if blinded by love. I would ask him if we wishes me to try to book the room and check the availability as a common guest would do , by e-mail (if available). If available, I would ask him if he wants to confirm the reservation - and pay for it- Then give the name of the guests and proceed normally. No phone call. At the end, your friend knows everything he needs to know, or ignore what he prefers to. Edited November 12, 2013 by Opl 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NBD Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Just tell him straight, once, and leave it at that. Not wanting a bunch of his drunken mates occupying her/their resort is not the same as carrying on a sordid affair behind his back and plotting to murder him. I have a mate in a very similar situation - I have told him what I thought on a couple of occasions and left him to make his own decision. I've seen other people piss him off becuase they harp on and on about it and treat him as though he was somehow incapable of making his own decisions or having his own thoughts, or simply too stupid and needy to wish to do so. Actually having observed this developing over 3+ years I've noticed that he's quite shrewd and tends to get what he wants when it really matters but happy to give his wife the responsibility (and a good chunk of cash) that goes with the business. Not something I'd be comfortable with but everyone's different. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kblaze Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 He's been here for 30 years, he still has money - he knows the cut of the green. Does the resort have a good watchdog? Yes, this is where the conundrum lies, he's been relatively successful in Thailand, and I've only been here 1/5 that he has. Im convinced its a combination of "cant see the forest from the trees" and pride. Lord knows im guilty of the same things, sometimes ive been unaware ive been wronged until someone looking from the outside tells me. He has intimated that he is getting more frustrated with her, particularly the last time she hit him up for money, as he has already given her a lot. She tells him she needs it to be ready for the high season, but good God, if you go on the website for the "resort" none of it is in English, there is no listing on TripAdvisor or any other booking site. There are some Thai groups that she is affiliated with that come and use it but I think the only pictures of foreigners ive seen were friends of my colleague. I appreciate the comments 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yermanee Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Agree with CharlieH, I'm a strong believer in honesty with regards to friends whether they are good friends or the occasional ones., and I'm proud to say that I still have good friends notwithstanding this trait of mine. I do however have reservations about the intent of OP. But that just me Yermanee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Agree with CharlieH, I'm a strong believer in honesty with regards to friends whether they are good friends or the occasional ones., and I'm proud to say that I still have good friends notwithstanding this trait of mine. I do however have reservations about the intent of OP. But that just me Yermanee butting in has nothing to do with honesty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Showbags Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 What a bunch of girls...help a mate out and cease the cash cow supply and his losses. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookMan Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Does your friend visit the GF at her resort on a regular basis? I'd be wondering why she is not keen on friends of his visiting and staying at the resort. Also, how long have your friend and his GF been together for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kblaze Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Does your friend visit the GF at her resort on a regular basis? I'd be wondering why she is not keen on friends of his visiting and staying at the resort. Also, how long have your friend and his GF been together for? He generally goes when he has friends he wants to take there. Maybe 2-3 times a year. But now its been something like 6 months since he's been as shes told him its full several times in a row. I think she doesn't want him to go and see what shes done with the money to be honest. They've been together around 6 years I think.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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