swissie Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 My wife and I got married because of visa reasons. We had planned on it already, but we tied the knot about a year earlier so she could stay with me in other countries on spousal visas. Really made the whole traveling/living abroad process much, much easier. After that, when we moved here, it became more of a social thing. As many guys know, people who don't know you assume you are with a prostitute on holiday--shuts them right up when you say "oh, you mean my wife of 10 years"? So, it is helpful that way. People here don't seem to mind unmarried people being together, but they definitely brighten up and look at you differently once they know you are married. I have seen, on multiple occasions, people's faces shift from doubting to positive as soon as I tell them. I don't think that is reason enough to get married if you don't want to, but it is a reality. I am sure there are other paperwork situations that would be easier when married. Otherwise, you should do what you want and not feel pressured into it. It should be more of a cost-benefit analysis type thing. Travels on "spousal-visas" in other countries may make things easier. But if hoping, a long-term-stay in Thailand (with spouse) will make things easier for the Farang (Visa), think twice! A "Marriage-O" is probably the most cumbersome type of Visa one can try to get. The required paperwork (including Foto's of underwear hanging on the same clothesline) and neighbors, testifying to the fact that they are "living together". Etc. etc. Have therefore switched my Visa -Type from "Marriage-O" to "Retirement". Although married to Thai-National. = Much less cumbersome and degrading. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kudel Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Quote from the OP: "Where I come from, it is pretty normal to see couple living together and having kids together without being married." May I ask where you're from? Because where I'm from (USA), that wouldn't be considered "normal." Mainstream society would consider raising a child in a married household "normal." Society may grudgingly accept unmarried parents (unlike back in the day), but most families (on both sides) would find it odd that you would raise a child together and not be married. There are all kinds of parental rights reserved for married couples, including tax, insurance, inheritance, and a host of other things. So your suggestion that Thailand is somehow different is rather inaccurate. In most modern european country's there excists such a thing as a cohabitation contract legally binding so unmarried couples have the same rights as married couples including taxes ,inheritance,insurance.people opting for this system can even obtain visas for their foreign partners en there is no need to overstress divorce courts with all that marriage nonsense if things go wrong.I just read that the aprils fools joke about foreigners over 50 can not get married to younger Thai woman is still alive and well 5555555. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CWMcMurray Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 If you are both happy, then that's all that really matters Although I planning to stay in Thailand forever, then one benefit may be to check all the blocks to apply for Thai citizenship As in order to apply without needing PR first, you would need to be married and working in Thailand... May not b important now, but could be 20 or 30 years down the road. Once you are done working... Especially if your wife happens to pass before your do Also the issue of parental rights is a good reason, although others have mentioned that there are other routes you can take to get our parental rights if not married to the mother May also be helpful for getting visa for your wife when traveling to other countries, but may only help depending on other details For me and my wife, we decided to marry an am happy to be married... But to each his/her own Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harryfrompattaya Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Whenever the topic comes up from a Thai person as to why the long-term GF and I don't get married, I just say: If the PM of Thailand hasn't bothered to get married, why should I? Well said I agree Marriage in most cases in Thailand is a Con Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midfield General Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Believe it or not outside the bar scene Thailand is a deeply Conservative country and a lot Thais especially the older ones have the same as attitude to sex and marriage that Westerners had in the fifties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtoad Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 It's not the farang that pushes for the marriage. Correct, and I haven't had any hassle about not officially marrying Mrs Toad, and I won't be pressured into it either. Our arrangement works fine. As it has for the last 11 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Believe it or not outside the bar scene Thailand is a deeply Conservative country and a lot Thais especially the older ones have the same as attitude to sex and marriage that Westerners had in the fifties. It's what they say, but it's not how they do. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travel2003 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 In Scandinavian countries, you will find many couples living together with kids - and are not married. That is true. But it is basically another world, isnt it? Most of my female friends I grew up with in Scani, are single mothers with very well social welfare arrangements. Not so here in Thailand, which makes me believe it is more YOU, and not WE, in your OP that is against getting married. If you split up, and your x-gf sits there with the kid alone. Then what scenario is she facing? Think about that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Quote from the OP: "Where I come from, it is pretty normal to see couple living together and having kids together without being married." May I ask where you're from? Because where I'm from (USA), that wouldn't be considered "normal." Mainstream society would consider raising a child in a married household "normal." Society may grudgingly accept unmarried parents (unlike back in the day), but most families (on both sides) would find it odd that you would raise a child together and not be married. There are all kinds of parental rights reserved for married couples, including tax, insurance, inheritance, and a host of other things. So your suggestion that Thailand is somehow different is rather inaccurate. In Scandinavian countries, you will find many couples living together with kids - and are not married. Ok, I'll accept that. I also understand that Scandinavian countries are becoming rather progressive (for lack of a better word) when it comes to gender roles. But is that the norm, even in Scandinavian countries? Regardless, you must admit that in most other societies, marriage is still the norm, especially when it comes to raising a family. It's not unusual at all in the UK for people not to be officially married. No-one will even comment if you have kids but no marriage certificate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kikoman Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 The OP stated: "So each of us know that a marriage certificate will not make us any more happy than we already are" And: "We live together and are both happy...and being married would not change that" Then would having a marriage certificate, make you any less happy then you already are, As "you are happy and being married does not change that", if a child was not involved, it should "just my opinion", A child with legal rights from both parents universally legally accepted as from a married household would automatically be entitled to those rights, as a result of being born to such a union. One that does not get those rights at birth may many years later be required to prove they are entitled to those rights. So what you state about having or not having a marriage certificate, may not be a matter of concern to you and your GF but having a child, requires legal proof that he is indeed your child and entitled to any rights, because he is in your child! Again just my opinion! Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showbags Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 (edited) 16 years and not married..tis bliss Well, not really bliss, same same married, just not. Edited November 12, 2013 by Showbags 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloy cogger Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 (edited) last i read it was illegal for farang over fifty to marry a thai. same same cambodia and laos. Cambo and Laos, maybe - do you have a link re Thai law on this ? I dont give a hoot personally, but I imagine that a lot of couples would be affected by such a law ... first search gives http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/456613-law-prohibiting-marriage-to-foreigners-over-the-age-of-50-proposed-to-thai-cabinet/ havent read it i am still under the impression that it is true and have been for a long time. as with cambodia, Maybe you should read it nah couldnt be bothered. ignorance is bliss as they say. cant see that i will ever be marring a thai anyways and i been here for the better part of 2 decades and am not ever married. yes i am hetro. cambo or viet or philipines or mainland chinese maybe, thai highly unlikely. SEA integration is just around the corner, and i prefer to live in thailand. even now, yes i do get occasional offers of further dalliance from thai people i meet for daily living needs, i just smile and back away or no understand (still often true that i dont understand what is said). yes no understand the language but have a very good understanding of the culture and attitudes. no i'm not joining thanks, Edited November 12, 2013 by cloy cogger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mightyquinn Posted November 12, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2013 I am marrying my Thai girlfriend next year after being together for 2 years. She is pregnant now, and I want her and the child to have my name. I don't want people in the village to yak yak too much that I am not committed to her. Plus, I know that she will be happy when we are married, a sort of security blanket for her I believe. And, I want to marry her, I love her, and she will be the mother of my child. If anyone doesnt think those reasons are good enough... Well som nom na then.... 555 Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkady Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 You are wrong about the Thai attitude. In the majority of Thai couples never register their marriages for various reasons. PM Yingluck is not married to her partner, yet they have a son together and no one seems to consider this particularly odd. It is a relatively easy process for a father to recognize a child born "out of wedlock" and to get a Western passport for them at most farang embassies. The only difficulties you are likely to encounter will be in applying for visas for Western countries which might be a bit harder for your partner without a marriage cert but, if she is working, she can probably get them in her own right without your help anyway. Other issues to consider might be inheritance laws and pension rights in your home country. Also marrying your Thai partner would make you eligible to apply for Thai citizenship without getting PR first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mightyquinn Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 My marriage will be registered. I land in 2 weeks and we have made arrangements to go and speak to authorities. I am getting old now, 37, and I want that old fashioned married with kids lark... I believe it's all down to the individuals like in England and Australia... You can't stereotype a race based on a few examples...my g/f's family are over the moon I proposed.... I didnt have to.. But I wanted to.... Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Troll posts and replies have been removed, troll has been removed as well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Showbags Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 My marriage will be registered. I land in 2 weeks and we have made arrangements to go and speak to authorities. I am getting old now, 37, and I want that old fashioned married with kids lark... I believe it's all down to the individuals like in England and Australia... You can't stereotype a race based on a few examples...my g/f's family are over the moon I proposed.... I didnt have to.. But I wanted to.... Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand How much over the moon ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mightyquinn Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Well, they have a falang to take care of their daughter now( and them I suspect they think!). The full works mate, slaughtered pig etc. however, maybe this will change as time goes by however they seem very excited that their oldest daughter is to to have a farang baby and husband.... Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n210mp Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Married and just love it! Love the ingrained, brain washed feeling that I am doing the right thing with my lady. But then again maybe its an age or era thing, I am 68 going on 47 and she is 47 going on 68 if you get my gist. Maybe like me, she likes the idea of being married and all that goes with the status. Being married for me and herself implies through the ceremony that we are stating for all to see that we wish to be as one! Maybe old fashioned but I kind of like that ceremony where we pledge our love to each other. In Pattaya of course we or should I say I am seen as an "Oddball" for being true to my Mrs but then again Pattaya is of course an Alien place where the abnormal or the gross is the normal ............. isn't It? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinBoy2 Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Sometimes I read these things and I'm glad I'm old....my testicles are now just for fun! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n210mp Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Sometimes I read these things and I'm glad I'm old....my testicles are now just for fun! LOL I'm with you on this and great as long as you dont retrofit into one of the many old farts/rakes around here who are trying to be young studs and in their second childhood , whilst paying of course for their addiction and getting somewhat confused that it is their good looks and virility that is getting them their fun! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Very simple reason.... Before Marriage my Wife and I could not stay together, we could not openly holiday together and I had to have her home before Midnight whenever we went out for dinner. Sometimes we'd go out, be having a great night, but the crunch came at 11:30pm when I had to drop her home. Quite often I used to stay late at her house and have a few drinks with her parents after dropping her back. The rules were respected, well, we tried our best !... Of course we slipped away for the odd holiday in and around Thailand. My Wife's parents parents probably guessed that she wasn't really visiting her cousin in the UK when we took off skiing or visited my parents... It was my Brother In Law who pointed out that these frequent trips away are getting a little 'too' obvious. After a few years Marriage was the logical step for us as a couple. Of course the cynic would suggest that its only the Woman who gains from Marriage, but in reality we have both gained, particularly with regards to our freedom, but also with regards to respect from both of our families for not shunning tradition or the expectations of those whom we respect. Marriage simply rounded things off and made it easier for everyone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Married and just love it! Love the ingrained, brain washed feeling that I am doing the right thing with my lady. But then again maybe its an age or era thing, I am 68 going on 47 and she is 47 going on 68 if you get my gist. Maybe like me, she likes the idea of being married and all that goes with the status. Being married for me and herself implies through the ceremony that we are stating for all to see that we wish to be as one! Maybe old fashioned but I kind of like that ceremony where we pledge our love to each other. In Pattaya of course we or should I say I am seen as an "Oddball" for being true to my Mrs but then again Pattaya is of course an Alien place where the abnormal or the gross is the normal ............. isn't It? That's great, but Thai marriage ceremony isn't actually marriage. The Thai marriage pledge isn't about love, you promise to take care of her, she promises to serve you. Actual marriage is done at the Amphur office, no pledges of any kind, just signing a contract. Sounds like you didn't actually get married, and didn't understand the 'marriage' ceremony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 (edited) Of course the cynic would suggest that its only the Woman who gains from Marriage, but in reality we have both gained, particularly with regards to our freedom, but also with regards to respect from both of our families for not shunning tradition or the expectations of those whom we respect. I would suggest in Thailand the woman in a 'Thai/foreigner' marriage only loses. Help me out here, what do you think she gains? Edited November 13, 2013 by FiftyTwo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 (edited) Regarding the cohabiting together my family are Thai and proud of it for sure but don't take the culture to extremes and, being a very private family, couldn't care less what other people think. With them it's a case of "out of sight, out of mind". Before we married and my wife was still living at home she used to come and stay with me overnight. Not a problem. When our nieces or nephews in their 20's come to stay with us with their respective girlfriends/boyfriends my wife always gives them a double bedroom ( which amuses my daughter no end). She usually asks " Dad do you think Pi Whoever is kissing his girlfriend?" to which I usually answer " I dunno sweetie, why don't you knock on the door and ask him?" Edited November 13, 2013 by mca 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Many legal advantages to marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alwyn Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Why do you care what other people do or think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardenedSoul Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Well, they have a falang to take care of their daughter now( and them I suspect they think!). The full works mate, slaughtered pig etc. however, maybe this will change as time goes by however they seem very excited that their oldest daughter is to to have a farang baby and husband.... Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Oh dear Of course the cynic would suggest that its only the Woman who gains from Marriage, but in reality we have both gained, particularly with regards to our freedom, but also with regards to respect from both of our families for not shunning tradition or the expectations of those whom we respect. I would suggest in Thailand the woman in a 'Thai/foreigner' marriage only loses. Help me out here, what do you think she gains? Not much if she marries someone carrying as much baggage as you, mate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mightyquinn Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 ]Well, they have a falang to take care of their daughter now( and them I suspect they think!). The full works mate, slaughtered pig etc. however, maybe this will change as time goes by however they seem very excited that their oldest daughter is to to have a farang baby and husband.. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Oh dear Thank you for your constructive feedback... It must have taken you a long time to think of that... Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 (edited) I would suggest in Thailand the woman in a 'Thai/foreigner' marriage only loses. Help me out here, what do you think she gains? Not much if she marries someone carrying as much baggage as you, mate. Don't worry, she brought plenty of baggage with her. Edited November 13, 2013 by FiftyTwo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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