Husband-Noi

[meom]

Here is the 100 Baht (a Leo or 2 for you on 7/11) question: why do you think they do not like it?

Since the Lalaburi inhabitants don't know this, I will help with the answer.

A mistress/lover can capture the heart of the older one, and might be tempted to abandon the family.

However, A Gik (or Geek) or working girl/boy will normally NOT catch the heart of the older, thus represent a smaller threat to the one sitting home.

I think you got it backwards.

By definition the whole concept of mia noi is that the man does not abandon his family and instead is extending his family by taking care of a 2^nd wife, 3^rd wife etc.

Sure the major wife might not like it but it is often preferable than having her husband screw around behind her back where the risk of abandonment might be greater.

As long as the mia noi knows her place in the pecking order the major wife has not much to worry.

[Travel2003]

Interesting to see how many of the members here who lives in "Lalaburi".

Mina Noi or Pua Noi, etc is NOT accepted here!

It has been practiced and kept for centuries, but it is not liked, except by the minority with recourses.

The vast majority of married women just hate it and despises the women who are Mia Nois.

Here is the 100 Baht (a Leo or 2 for you on 7/11) question: why do you think they do not like it?

Since the Lalaburi inhabitants don't know this, I will help with the answer.

A mistress/lover can capture the heart of the older one, and might be tempted to abandon the family.

However, A Gik (or Geek) or working girl/boy will normally NOT catch the heart of the older, thus represent a smaller threat to the one sitting home.

For those of you who has lived here a while might remember it was even an issue in the congress some years ago, the female representatives wanted to ban it and make sure the male representatives were not morally corrupt.

Needless to say maybe, but the majority of representatives are men, thus the suggestion fell through.

Interesting to see how you can have it wrong too gik is not paid for. Anyway of course the woman dont like to share a guy just like most guys would not like their gf to mess around.

I was in an open relation for a while but it worked both ways i liked it. But in the end jealousy came to play and it stopped.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

True,

Gik is not paid for.

And I never claimed that.

Although it is "good manners" for the guy to sometimes give a little gift to his Gik.

The Gik is a useful arrangement for some, thus is not always regarded as too valuable in regards to inner feelings (love).

For the average married lady, a Gik or working boy/girl is the lesser evil compare to a Mia.

Back to the boys.

It was a long article in one of the Sunday extras for one of the papers some time ago.

The article focused on the Thai "cougars".

Plenty clubs for them to play in, around Silom area.

[Travel2003]

Here is the 100 Baht (a Leo or 2 for you on 7/11) question: why do you think they do not like it?

Since the Lalaburi inhabitants don't know this, I will help with the answer.

A mistress/lover can capture the heart of the older one, and might be tempted to abandon the family.

However, A Gik (or Geek) or working girl/boy will normally NOT catch the heart of the older, thus represent a smaller threat to the one sitting home.

I think you got it backwards.

By definition the whole concept of mia noi is that the man does not abandon his family and instead is extending his family by taking care of a 2^nd wife, 3^rd wife etc.

Sure the major wife might not like it but it is often preferable than having her husband screw around behind her back where the risk of abandonment might be greater.

As long as the mia noi knows her place in the pecking order the major wife has not much to worry.

The problem comes when the Mia Noi gets more and more of the guy's time.

Or even worse, if the guy dumps the Mia Noi, without she agreeing on it.

I believe we all know that many women can be very possessive.

Anyhow,

my main point is, it is not looked upon as acceptable behavior anymore in Thailand.

Edited November 16, 2013 by Travel2003

[meom]

Here is the 100 Baht (a Leo or 2 for you on 7/11) question: why do you think they do not like it?

Since the Lalaburi inhabitants don't know this, I will help with the answer.

A mistress/lover can capture the heart of the older one, and might be tempted to abandon the family.

However, A Gik (or Geek) or working girl/boy will normally NOT catch the heart of the older, thus represent a smaller threat to the one sitting home.

I think you got it backwards.

By definition the whole concept of mia noi is that the man does not abandon his family and instead is extending his family by taking care of a 2^nd wife, 3^rd wife etc.

Sure the major wife might not like it but it is often preferable than having her husband screw around behind her back where the risk of abandonment might be greater.

As long as the mia noi knows her place in the pecking order the major wife has not much to worry.

The problem comes when the Mia Noi gets more and more of the guy's time.

Or even worse, if the guy dumps the Mia Noi, without she agreeing on it.

I believe we all know that many women can be very possessive.

Anyhow,

my main point is, it is not looked upon as acceptable behavior anymore in Thailand.

Sorry but you lost me there.

How does dumping the mia noi be worse for the major wife??

Regarding if it's looked upon as acceptable behavior my guess is that it depend the circumstances.

If you've got a wife of 25-35 years age taking a mia noi wouldn't go down that well probably.

If the major wife is in her 50's I think quite a few wouldn't mind if the husband took on a mia noi.

[Travel2003]

Hmm, how can a dumped mistress become a problem?

Hmmm

[NCFC]

According to Durex Global Sex survey 2012, 54% of Thai men (highest in the world) and 59% of Thai women (ranked 2nd) admitted to adultery. So women are more likely than men to be adulterous and more than half of Thai woman fall into that category.

So if you remove single women, lesbian and celibate women (presumably these three groups wouldn't be able to commit adultery) then the figure for those whom an adulterous affair is possible is much higher than the 59% quoted in the survey.

So I wouldn't be at all surprised to find Thai women in relationships with farang, particularly where there is a large gap in age and communication skills, that it maybe be well over two-thirds of the women are having affairs, maybe even higher.

[meom]

Hmm, how can a dumped mistress become a problem?

Hmmm

Yes maybe she would but in the end it’s a men’s world and we are calling the shots meaning she either falls in line or suffers the consequences.

I don't think any potential problems that might occur would stop any men from doing as they please when it comes to having a mia noi or gik for that matter.

[Travel2003]

According to Durex Global Sex survey 2012, 54% of Thai men (highest in the world) and 59% of Thai women (ranked 2nd) admitted to adultery. So women are more likely than men to be adulterous and more than half of Thai woman fall into that category.

So if you remove single women, lesbian and celibate women (presumably these three groups wouldn't be able to commit adultery) then the figure for those whom an adulterous affair is possible is much higher than the 59% quoted in the survey.

So I wouldn't be at all surprised to find Thai women in relationships with farang, particularly where there is a large gap in age and communication skills, that it maybe be well over two-thirds of the women are having affairs, maybe even higher.

I remember that survey.

It was publicized here on TV.

I might be wrong, but I think their basis for the survey was a bit thin?

A bit like, the 2 first I met didn't like me, ergo everyone hates foreigners (or me rather, lol).

[NCFC]

According to Durex Global Sex survey 2012, 54% of Thai men (highest in the world) and 59% of Thai women (ranked 2nd) admitted to adultery. So women are more likely than men to be adulterous and more than half of Thai woman fall into that category.

So if you remove single women, lesbian and celibate women (presumably these three groups wouldn't be able to commit adultery) then the figure for those whom an adulterous affair is possible is much higher than the 59% quoted in the survey.

So I wouldn't be at all surprised to find Thai women in relationships with farang, particularly where there is a large gap in age and communication skills, that it maybe be well over two-thirds of the women are having affairs, maybe even higher.

I remember that survey.

It was publicized here on TV.

I might be wrong, but I think their basis for the survey was a bit thin?

A bit like, the 2 first I met didn't like me, ergo everyone hates foreigners (or me rather, lol).

To be fair to Durex that survey was global and not looking at just Thailand, and it just asked the question of whether people were adulterous rather than where they were in an inter-racial marriage. It would be interesting if Durex did a Thailand specific survey though and looked at other social and cultural factors behind the headline figures.

[recycler]

Worldwide Thai man are nr 1 in <deleted> around, but Thai woman are nr 2 just after Ghanese woman, so it sure happens a lot!

According to the Durex survey...

[seajae]

why even marry if you are just going to screw around, seems like a lot of people do not marry for love here, just money, pretty piss poor really but then I suppose a lot of people think with their dicks/fannies these days too........

[robblok]

why even marry if you are just going to screw around, seems like a lot of people do not marry for love here, just money, pretty piss poor really but then I suppose a lot of people think with their dicks/fannies these days too........

Love and sex are not the same. We don't all have the same definition of love and marriage. I think its just a useful legal thing to get things done and arranged.

We both wanted to play a bit and we did. I see no harm in it as long as people are honest about it.

It would be bad if a girl marries a guy and does not tell him it was for money and screw around. But if she tells him its his choice. Same goes for guys of course.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[elzach]

So, judging from the discussion here, Thai society, when it comes to marriage, is <deleted>..ed up. No disrespect whatsoever, but it makes you wonder how so many foreigners here are blissfully married.

[Sirbergan]

Here is the 100 Baht (a Leo or 2 for you on 7/11) question: why do you think they do not like it?

Since the Lalaburi inhabitants don't know this, I will help with the answer.

A mistress/lover can capture the heart of the older one, and might be tempted to abandon the family.

However, A Gik (or Geek) or working girl/boy will normally NOT catch the heart of the older, thus represent a smaller threat to the one sitting home.

I think you got it backwards.

By definition the whole concept of mia noi is that the man does not abandon his family and instead is extending his family by taking care of a 2^nd wife, 3^rd wife etc.

Sure the major wife might not like it but it is often preferable than having her husband screw around behind her back where the risk of abandonment might be greater.

As long as the mia noi knows her place in the pecking order the major wife has not much to worry.

The problem comes when the Mia Noi gets more and more of the guy's time.

Or even worse, if the guy dumps the Mia Noi, without she agreeing on it.

I believe we all know that many women can be very possessive.

Anyhow,

my main point is, it is not looked upon as acceptable behavior anymore in Thailand.

I'd have to disagree with you. It's not frowned upon, especially not in Isaan. I've got some inside knowledge about my wife's village after living there for 3 year and learning the Isaan dialect – in just that tiny village I know one pua noi (Being the pua noi of a women married to a pharang. She even bought him a car as a gift) and 4 mia nois. That's just the ones I know about, but I'm sure there are many more. A friend of mine had a gf for 3 years, after they split up I've come to know that she never left her former husband. Other than that, I don't socialize too much with pharangs, so I don't really know if Thai women married to pharang men are more faithful than the ones married to Thai men. I wouldn't think so, especially considering how many pharangs are marrying bar girls.

Often money is their motivation for engaging in a relationship with us, though. I guess that motivation will keep many of them from being unfaithful as well, as they've got too much to lose.

Thai people, men and women alike, are renown for not being particularly faithful.

Edited November 17, 2013 by Sirbergan

[Sirbergan]

So, judging from the discussion here, Thai society, when it comes to marriage, is <deleted>..ed up. No disrespect whatsoever, but it makes you wonder how so many foreigners here are blissfully married.

Ignorance is bliss

[elzach]

So, judging from the discussion here, Thai society, when it comes to marriage, is <deleted>..ed up. No disrespect whatsoever, but it makes you wonder how so many foreigners here are blissfully married.

Ignorance is bliss

To be fair, I would think that foreigners (especially Westerners) would apply some western criteria to marriage here (to the astonishment of most Thai people), such as love and fidelity, therefore their marriages would be more likely to be successful.

[Sirbergan]

So, judging from the discussion here, Thai society, when it comes to marriage, is <deleted>..ed up. No disrespect whatsoever, but it makes you wonder how so many foreigners here are blissfully married.

Ignorance is bliss

To be fair, I would think that foreigners (especially Westerners) would apply some western criteria to marriage here (to the astonishment of most Thai people), such as love and fidelity, therefore their marriages would be more likely to be successful.

You may be right - the percentage of long-term happily married pharang-Thai couples might be higher than the percentage of long-term happily married Thai couples, for the reasons you just mentioned (as well as mutual trust). But it's important to remember that their society, and thus what is perceived as "normal", is very different from what we're used to in terms of what's acceptable behavior etc.

[forumuser10]

My former GF´s neighbor was a nice lady, but GF told me she had 2 Thai "husbands", they did not know about eachother. It was all fun for her, and it seemed like it was nothing unique, and just as common as the other way around, which does not necessarely be true, but it sure exists.

[falkan]

when you are old fart and not attractive and your wife is younger than you they are climbing all over the younger guys especially offshore workers wifes and who say no to free stuff especially when their husbands are paying? not me haha..