How to not be too formal?

[Adrian888]

Hi. I am learning Thai online, and I know that often when you learn a language academically you are taught phrases that are way too formal, and will end up making you sound silly.

Does anyone know what some of those might be?

Now maybe this is not a problem, maybe in Thai culture it just makes you seem extra nice if you are over formal; I am used to north america were if you talk fancy then you are probably stuck up and think you are better than others.

Thanks

[rgs2001uk]

One thing I have learned about living here, its better to be too formal, then adjust the conversation accordingly.

If you start with pasat talat, you are screwed, its easier to go down a notch than it is to try and recover the situation.

Listen to two Thai who have never met talking for the first time, khun soon becomes pee soon becomes just the first name.

Sorry this aint Kansas now Dorothy, manners maketh the man.

I have never been pulled up for talking formally, but have been pulled up for speaking informally.

Each and every situation aint the same, it depends on where you are and to whom you are addressing.

[CaptHaddock]

This is a difficult question. If you are fluent in English you know that there are basically different, redundant vocabularies that apply according the the degree of formality or informality that is appropriate, e.g. "that's nonsense," "that's a bunch of crap," "that's bullshit." The same is true in Thai. You have to learn different languages, in effect, or at least different vocabularies. And it is not true that the Thais don't object to inappropriate formality. They do. I hear that frequently from Thais. One of my Thai teachers, younger than myself, pointed out that by addressing her as "khun" it made the relationship sound distant to the point of inappropriateness. On many other occasions Thais have scoffed at some usage of mine as much too formal for the situation. They seem to take such a lapse more seriously than Americans do for English, for example.

The problem for us Thai learners is that the available dictionaries do not consistently provide the information necessary to distinguish synonyms on the basis of degree of formality, i.e. formal "ทางการ", semi-formal "กึงทางการ", for a close friend, out-of-date usage, medical "ภาษาแพทย์," flowery "สวย" or poetic "กาวี." You have to get your teacher or some other native speaker to explain the differences to you.

Some words and phrases belong in more than one category, just like in English. Just as in English latinate words tend to be more formal ("perspiration" versus "sweat") so in Thai Sanskrit, Pali and Khmer words tend to be more formal. That's helpful if you can recognize the roots of the word, but even then it is short of foolproof.