แอบ + Verb, Meaning to do or feel something in "secret". Expound upon this!

[OldChinaHam]

I am not going to write tons about this utterance, this time.

Instead, I am just going to say this expression may reflect some interesting cultural implications.

I would be appreciative for your efforts if all who care to do so would share your thinking regarding the different meanings and usage of this expression, as well as the Thai cultural and sociological reality that makes this phrase a very acceptable feature of interpersonal relationships.

I suppose this one phrase could provide the fodder for a thousand learned comments relating to the phrase, and what it might show us about Thai culture, and human nature.

I am just a very beginner when it comes to the Thai language.

So, please, if I have gotten the spelling or construction wrong, just correct me with as little castigation as you can.

TKS!

(This phrase is bound to come up when anyone studies Thai, and it is good to know what it means.)

[Mole]

I don't understand why you think แอบ is so special?

It's just a word which means secret or secretly.

Such as:

แอบรัก secretly in love

แอบดู secretly look

แอบมอง secretly watch

แอบกิน secretly eat

แอบแฝง conceal

แอบอ้าง false claim

Only in few words such as แอบอ้าง where the meaning would not be "secretly something".

But otherwise it just translates to "secretly+verb", so what's so special about it?

[Ajaan]

Yes, I agree with Mole...there is nothing special about this construction, nor does it "reveal anything" about Thai society, character, blah blah. Just because a language accomplishes something by a grammatical means which seems "strange" by comparison to your native language doesn't mean anything "deep" or unusual (or revealing) is going on.

Khmer and Lao both have similar constructions; in those languages the verb "to steal" (luich in Khmer and lak in Lao) is used in combination with verbs just as แอบ is in Thai in idiomatic constructions meaning "to do [verb] stealthily". Actually, in this case there is a corollary in English, in expressions such as "to steal a glance"...

[OldChinaHam]

Well then, of course I am willing to defer to your more learned views on this subject because, as I mentioned at the outset, I am a very beginner in speaking or studying the Thai Language, and I know even less about the more unique qualities of Thai culture. I am here to learn.

However, I have asked a few native Thai speakers their thoughts about how much secrecy is normal in a relationship, and they have shared similar views. Marriage, for example, is a different relationship in Japan than is marriage in Thailand or the United States. Secrecy in itself is most definitely an unacceptable quality in a typical female-male relationship in the United States, where individuals are expected to be open and honest with their partners, and US society demands this openness and utter honesty.

My question is how much honesty and openness in a marriage is expected by Thai society and Thailand culture, compared to other Asian cultures, and compared to western culture. And are these expectations reflected in Thai expressions? I say the native speakers I interviewed believe quite a lot of secrecy is acceptable, and they usethese expressions to refer to this reality.

I wonder how much these unique expressions in Thai reflect differing attitudes amoung married young people today.

The Japanese marriage relationship, for example, usually has a high tolerance for each individual to lead separate lives of their own, even within the existing marriage relationship.

What about the degree of candidness and openness and honest typical and considered normal in the Thai marriage? And, how much secrecy is considered normal and acceptable?

I had wanted to know more about this subject and I hope you will not cast it aside without giving it the consideration which I believe it deserves.

And, thanks to Ajaan for the best reply so far.

Maybe someone could take it further with some sociological or culturally unique examples?

[DavidHouston]

I commend for your reading "Inside Thai Society: Religion, Everyday Life, Change" by by Niels Mulder. See http://www.amazon.com/Inside-Thai-Society-Religion-Everyday/dp/9747551241/ref=la_B001JOO9H6_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1385512103&sr=1-1

[Lara Alex]

To begin, I would like to talk about definition of the word 'แอบ':

แอบ หมายถึง/ความหมาย

แอบ

แอบ, แอบ ๆ : ก. ทําโดยไม่ให้ผู้อื่นรู้เห็นโดยอาการต่าง ๆ เช่น แอบทำ; เข้าไปชิด เช่น รถพยาบาลมาให้รถอื่นแอบเข้าข้างทาง. ว. อาการที่ยืน เดิน หรือวางสิ่งใดสิ่งหนึ่งเป็นต้นไม่ให้เกะกะหรือกีดขวางทาง เช่น เดินแอบข้างทาง วางของแอบ ๆ หน่อย.
อ้างอิง : พจนานุกรม ราชบัณฑิตยสถาน

1. (To hide) 'แอบ+Verb' means doing something secretly.

e.g. แอบนินทาลับหลัง (talk behind someone's back), แอบมีชู้ (commit adultery), แอบฟัง (overhear) etc.

2. (Try not to block the way of something)

e.g แอบรถข้างทาง (park the car at the side of the road)

วางของแอบข้างฝา (placing stuffs close to the wall)