dating a shy university girl

[tubby johnson]

Most Thai girls aren't experienced drinkers. One glass of beer or whatever she fancies, and she'll sink in your arms. "I feel dizzy and weak, please take me home with you" is the regular quote: it's worked for me time and again, even with girls from strict families.

[albee]

Try the philippino students

[albee]

How old are you? past 40? She could be shy for dating an old guy, especially in the public where she can suddenly come across her friends and have to explain why is she holding hands with big old farang. That's if you really are a big old hairy farang.

past 40 its just a number old dude

[albee]

Take her to a Karaoke place during day time, you will be private there and can try to give her the first kiss.

Good luck.

Not Bad

[albee]

o.k she,s a 20 year old schoolgirl and i,m guessing your in your 60,s ,

i know there,s not but there should be a law about it just being

WRONG .....

What makes you thing the OP is in his sixties? He does not sound like that to me.

Who made you judge of the world

[johnlandy]

The OP refers at least twice to Thai culture.

All I'm gonna say is that, "there is more culture in out of date yoghurt"

Edited December 13, 2013 by johnlandy

[Hardened Spanker]

First ask if she is Muslim. If so, you need to convert before you can take it to the next level. Otherwise unlikely this will go anywhere.

In the more likely scenario that she is not a Muslim, she is probably just from a conservative background, where messing around with a boyfriend is frowned upon until some serious commitments are made. Also likely is that her family may not approve of her dating a foreigner and she is in limbo how to move forward. She would be ashamed to admit to this initially. In either case it will help if you invite a good female older friend, cousin or someone she trusts and looks up to to accompany you two on a date. Show the third person how charming you are, as she will be the one to decide on your future with the girl. At 20 she just isn't sure what to do, so she needs some backup. Offer it.

Been there done that with my gf. Family weren't really into foreigners (put mildly), but a couple of dates with chaperones (friends and female boss) gave her the courage to go through with it, disregarding her fears what her family might think. Very happy together for over 8 years now!!

I quite agree, ask her to invite a chaperone. I always used to suggest to girls I invited out (not any more as I have been married for many years now) that they also invite someone to accompany them. Even if she does not, you will come over as "kon dee" and there will be greater trust.

Why on earth would you want to invite a chaperone along as a double cockblocker,sounds like she's doing just fine in that regard on her own!

[Hardened Spanker]

If you are not trying hit and run and if you really like her why hurry? Can't you have some patience for someone you like?

Yes, I can.

But I've been seeing her twice a week for six weeks, isn't that a bit long to be where we are? That's a genuine question, not rhetorical... I dont know Thai dating culture.

But I know in the UK, go more than a few dates and you still haven't even kissed, if you're not escalating things.. you're going to get friendzoned very fast.

For comparison, my now wife who was coming up to 30, it was 2 months to consummate the relationship.

Hand holding was a few weeks under the guise of practising a hand massage at Chatuchak park (there was occasional brushing of the breast as well).

However, what did surprise me was our 1st trip away, no sooner than we arrived at our Koh Tao hut than I was asked to draw the curtains. Maybe she could be persuaded to take a break from her study?

The wife was very traditionally brought up although had been in a 5 year relationship previously and had worked for 9 months in Vietnam so would be a bit more independent than when she was 20 at uni.

Indeed, her big brother wanted to assault a young man that answered her phone when she first went to uni (who was actually gay) and to kill the young man that first broke her heart (no intimacy reached).

So that is a cautionary advice. Are you in your 20s, a fellow student? Farang have a bad reputation, particularly with a somewhaat gratuitous age gap, so care would be advised, any introduction to carnal knowledge/introduction to the family will be seen as a long term commitment.

"Farangs have a bad reputation!"

Compared to Thai women?

I've heard it all now!

[ausmarty]

Are you for real ?

[Water Buffalo]

Ask her.

I have met a lot of ladies who were easy to get into bed after "a couple of dates" - and they were ALL sluts. (in my opinion). I'm not condemning it, but the OP seems to be looking for a different type of girl than he has)

Teenage pregnancy is not really a good thing and by stating that it is getting more common doesn't justify it.

The OP's girlfriend is an adult. Why are you talking about minors?

Do you really not get it?

If they become sexually active by the age of 13, they surely are not virgins by the age of 20

Getting into bed after a couple of dates is a "slut" in your book? again, how old are you? and what middle eastern country do you come from?

What about the ones who didn't become sexually active at 13??

I have several university friends who are virgins and in their early twenties.

I am 26 and i come from the UK.

What about them? They are a minority

PS. How exactly do you know they are virgins? Because they said so?

PPS. Since getting into bed with you after a few dates is considered as slut by you, what does it make you? Or your morals do not apply to self?

Yes, they told me and i know them quite well and for quite a long time. It's believable.

I sewed plenty of oats. Like i said, i don't condemn it. Its fine for both guys and girl to do it. But yes, those who do it are sluts. Myself included, back in the good auld days.

There is nothing immoral about casual sex. It just depends if that is what you are looking for. It doesn't seem like the OP is looking for just this, but he does want it quicker than it seems she is willing to give. That's why my original advice was to wait, or go find a slutty girl somewhere else.

[somchaismith]

A dozen times seeing a bird is more than enough to expect something more according to Kev Wilson. Google Kev's Courting Song and you'll glean a few solid tips from him.

[manarak]

Ask her.

I have met a lot of ladies who were easy to get into bed after "a couple of dates" - and they were ALL sluts. (in my opinion). I'm not condemning it, but the OP seems to be looking for a different type of girl than he has)

Teenage pregnancy is not really a good thing and by stating that it is getting more common doesn't justify it.

The OP's girlfriend is an adult. Why are you talking about minors?

Do you really not get it?

If they become sexually active by the age of 13, they surely are not virgins by the age of 20

Getting into bed after a couple of dates is a "slut" in your book? again, how old are you? and what middle eastern country do you come from?

What about the ones who didn't become sexually active at 13??

I have several university friends who are virgins and in their early twenties.

I am 26 and i come from the UK.

that's a very big problem in the western world.... how to get laid.

[surfinglife]

Anything to do with the fact that you are 65?......Are you?

[slipperylobster]

You might just be fat and old. Perhaps she is shy because of that? Own up!

[realenglish1]

Most of the suggestions here are pretty lame. What I have found is a good ground breaker is simple As here if she has been to the beach or mountains Find out what she would like. Then tell her you would like to take here for a long weekend to the sea or mountains

She will get it and is she says OK you are pretty sure you can move to the next level Make it romantic and she will see you are not a butterfly

A lot of Thai woman hate butterflies and will as another writer wrote hold out to make sure you are genuine.

Kiss her good night She will be shy about it but more comfortable after a while.

Most Thai woman act shy but after you strip away the layers they are gun hoe

[rct99q]

Not surprised most of the posters on this thread have one, two or three failed relationships....your ex-wives probably don't mention your name in public or admit being married to you!

[rixalex]

Most Thai woman act shy but after you strip away the layers they are gun hoe

An unfortunate turn of phrase.

[umbanda]

All this shy Thai girl is just total BS,they all love boom boom,problem is they won't make the first move so it really is "Up to you"!

I agree with this....Thai women have 2 personalities....One outside 4 walls...the other inside 4 walls...and they always will wait for you to ask..or lead. The only exception are bar girls...but those are not Thai...those are the same in any culture....Be happy that you are not with a bar girl..but do not take too long to make a move....she may be ready for you NOW!

[HerbalEd]

Pathetic. Probably a troll post.

You appear much more likely to be the troll here.

[HerbalEd]

Start with the traditional Thai sniff kiss. It's definitely worked for me. There was a great thread on this a couple of days ago.

[Jasun]

Next time you're in an intimate setting, cup your hand in your armpit and flap your arm down, making a fake farty noise. It's a panty dropper.

[GreenSnapper]

All this shy Thai girl is just total BS,they all love boom boom,problem is they won't make the first move so it really is "Up to you"!

I agree with this....Thai women have 2 personalities....One outside 4 walls...the other inside 4 walls...and they always will wait for you to ask..or lead. The only exception are bar girls...but those are not Thai...those are the same in any culture....Be happy that you are not with a bar girl..but do not take too long to make a move....she may be ready for you NOW!

Or maybe not.

While he is still shyly "dating", she spends hot nights with her gik.

Edited December 13, 2013 by GreenSnapper

[falangadang]

If you are not trying hit and run and if you really like her why hurry? Can't you have some patience for someone you like?

Sure I can.

But I've been seeing her twice a week for six weeks, isn't that a bit long? That's a genuine question, not rhetorical... I dont know Thai dating culture.

But I know in the UK, go more than a few dates and you still haven't even kissed.. you're going to get friendzoned very fast.

Your one true friend and saviour is alcohol. Few Baccardi's or Spy's and doors to eden will open

Oh you are so evil and wicked to make such manipulative suggestions! The poor girl is probably a virgin and has genuine virtues and feelings worth respecting and yet here your are as the "evil angel" perched by the left ear of our hero who upon listening to the "good angel" by the right ear saying "be nice to her and respect her virtue and feelings" ,.. you then whisper into his other ear saying "don't listen to that goodie two-shoes,... shag her brains out"!

[sunshine51]

Thai Visa forum....I can't think of a better place to seek advice regarding a virginal school girl

How do we know she's a virgin...from the OP? Kinda doubt it.

[orpheus454]

Just because there is a high number of teen pregnancies in Thailand doesn't mean that all girls are having sex.

Yeah, probably reasonable to assume that the pregnant one's have been, though...

[supashot]

High school or university?

How old are you?

[HerbalEd]

...but after six weeks it feels a bit lame that we still havent even kissed.

Mate, my now wife screamed when I attempted to give her a peck on the cheek after she dropped me off on her motorbike back to my hotel and we had been seeing each other for months.

There was no hanky panky or kissy kissy until we were married.

Your idea of courting and your girlfriend's idea are worlds apart.

You didn't even kiss your wife before you were married?

I just can't imagine how poor your sex life must be now you ARE married!

You do make a lot of negative "assumptions" huh? Or do you just like to make trouble?

[HerbalEd]

Tell her you've got a surprise present for her. Then tell her to shut her eyes. After that, kiss her (on the lips, cheek, or where ever you think is best).

See how she reacts. If she is offended, grossed out, screams etc. then tell her to eff off and find someone else.

Actually this is a good idea ... without the eff off part. Always be the gentleman.

I suggest when she closes her eyes you give her a gentle, short Thai sniff kiss on the cheek ... and leave it at that. If, indeed, she does freak out then be politely and respectfully honest and say you really want to be with her but she has to show some affection or you're moving on.

I gotta feeling she really wants to get closer but is too shy, inexperienced, and/or family-pressured to do so. You are the man so it's really up to you.

[HerbalEd]

Sounds like she found the wrong match. I would tell her to run away from you as fast and as far away as possible.

She deserves someone who respects her shyness and who has a higher moral compass. Just sayin'......

"Just saying" what??

Where in the OP's post do you see any evidence of him not respecting her ... and being patient?

[HerbalEd]

I am really surprised how archaic most posters seem to be. OP just move on. You sound like a typical guy who wants one thing from relationship. Fortunately there are many girls that want the same thing in Thailand. However there are still many more old fashioned one's that expect to have a solid relationship before getting intimate. Unless you are ready to commit to her then why push the issue.

I know of many young women here that are really old fashioned and wouldn't even kiss unless they were in love and knew their partner was equally committed. Also many young girls don't want to sacrifice their education and career for a relationship.

She might also be testing you to see how much you are willing to wait to prove that she is worth the effort.

If you do take it to the next level and break up with her, you might ruin it for the next guy who truly does love her.

I wonder if the posters here would make these same comments to guys trying to make it with their daughters?

By old fashioned, do you mean frigid?

You do realize its almost year 2014, do not you? and a very large number have kids by the age of 16 not to mention become sexually active by the age of 13 if not younger.

That's the big irony of modern Thailand. The land of hundreds-of-thousands of prostitutes, millions of young promiscuous girls, and yet still many 20 to 30-plus year-old virgins still living at home.

To the OP: Given what I "assume" about this girl, if you really aren't sure about eventually marrying her I think you should not have sex with her and move on. Wow! Did I just write that?? After many years of seducing many women that is a very unusual thing for me to think and say. Am I getting religion in my old age?

Very often the attraction for a man is the elusive p...y which we fool ourselves into thinking is love. But the feeling fades very quickly right after the initial orgasm.

Edited December 13, 2013 by HerbalEd