Why do Thais watch me and gossip so much?

[NanLaew]

That's all I really wanted to know; why are they this way, speaking from a psychological perspective. Is day to day life in Bangkok actually as mundane and boring that someone walking down the street with a girl is worthwhile noting?

I'm so busy every day doing all of the things I love to do that I just have a hard time comprehending how someone's life can be so shallow that they care enough about other people outside of their own family. Where do they find the time?

However hard you try to believe otherwise, the fact that you are living in a community with your girlfriend and the fact that the staff at the local shops and restaurants know that you have a girlfriend, then they will talk about you.

You are not and never will be just "someone walking down the street with a girl". They 'know' you and the know you have a regular girlfriend.

Maybe, just maybe, if the person who asked you about your rent had received some civil response, they may not have dobbed you in for shagging behind the girlfriend's back.

You have not lost face; you are farang and you don't have it, never will. But you have just lost loads of respect with these locals but as hardened soul excellently stated earlier, when you look at those who now hold the soi dog in higher esteem, try and keep it all in perspective.

Don't sweat the petty stuff but keep petting the sweaty stuff.

[connda]

When I was married back in the US, if I brought a women back to my home, would you think that my neighbors wouldn't say something to my wife? That sort of 'gossip' is kinda universal.

I'm assuming you have never lived in a small town in a Western country. Everyone in town knows your business LOL. Nothing different here.

Edited December 17, 2013 by connda

[thailiketoo]

The good old days in Pattaya were 10 years or more ago. I was there. My first night I met a girl, Lek, at a go go club and spent some quality time with her and left with a promise to pick her up the following evening at 7 PM. I was one of a million Farangs in town and she was one of ten thousand go go dancers. On the other side of town as I walked along the street enjoying the Thainess of the town. A girl caught my eye. I smiled and winked and she said, "Lek miss you too much you late already." What an intelligence service they run. The CIA are novices in comparison to the Thai bar girl network.

Later as I realized everyone was always watching me I began to play to the crowd. At the mall I was shopping and meeting a friend for lunch. We met in a busy restaurant and she seeing my bag asked me what I had purchased. I played it a bit slowly taking the bag from the floor to the table top. Glancing out of the corner of my eye I waited till every patron at every table in the place was looking at me and then I pulled out my new boxer shorts.

[Kangawallafox]

Thai woman take great pleasure in bringing down relationships.

[fifthcolumn]

Back home, you would be lucky to have a girlfriend, here you have a "girl $$ friend " and you cheat on her - with a prostitute.

I'm not a gossip/y sort but I'd say those folk have something to chat about.

Thanks for reinforcing our trite stereotype, well done.

Too funny you are stumped not to see your trashy actions not worth a gossip. Do you think your own countrymen would not be equally shocked?

Heck, they might have just been having a good laugh, I mean what fool brings a hooker to his place of residence?

[Kangawallafox]

Would never cheat on mine,ever.

Does not stop thai people from making shit up,has happened to me 4 times.

Luckily my wife is wise to their bs and cuts them off for good.

[dao16]

JSixpack, on 15 Dec 2013 - 14:57, said:

Quote

Not to mention the first day of moving here, one of the shop workers asked how much I paid for rent. I basically told her in clear words to mind her own business.

That was quite rude of you when you might have had a pleasant interaction w/ the worker.

It's standard Asian culture to ask you how much you pay for things. Even Japanese, most polite people in the world, do that. They're shocked when you tell them that back in the West it'd be bad manners.

You must be Fresh Off The Boat w/ much to learn. Chill and learn w/o all the provincial righteousness.

To my life.......I can't understand why is it sooooooo bad in the west to ask how much rent are you paying!!!!!!

I do come from the west and never encountered that problem in any of the countries I have been.

Saying that.......May be......only in England!!!!!!!

In the US, it varies by region. In NYC, it seems to come up within the first few minutes (or even seconds) of a conversation since property...even rentals...are hard to come by. People are constantly keeping an ear to the pavement just in case they need another place--I won't go into how insane that whole process can be if you don't know someone.

In many other parts of the country, though, it is extremely rude to ask about how much someone pays for rent or a mortgage and probably means you don't want to associate with that person any more than you have to.

Here, yeah, it is just a conversational piece...just like your salary (which I never tell, but they ask other people until they are satisfied, hahahaha).

[David48]

there is a very good reason for watching you

they are waiting for you for many reasons

1drop your wallet

2 forget and leave your keys in the mo sy

3 forgetting to lock your car door

your being financially stalked my friend

Utter Rubbish ...

[thailiketoo]

Thai woman take great pleasure in bringing down relationships.

There are six things that the LORD strongly dislikes, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

—Proverbs 6:16–19

I guess this is not just a Thai problem eh?

[bifftastic]

Figure of speech. I know you're just trying to take a poke at her meaning an educated, higher salary Thai would not just let it pass as she has many options while a girl of a lower socio-economic background would just have to accept it and let it go.

She had to let it go as she knows there are 10 more girls ready to take her place the moment she leaves. Free rent at Thonglor, free food, spending money, not having to kiss someone her grandfather's age, white racial background, physically fit and a guy that doesn't beat her or take all her money can be quite appealing for many Thai girls.

Yeah, you're quite a catch. You must be very pleased with yourself. Especially the 'white racial background' thing, that's great news, well done.

Honestly? I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth thinking about just how obnoxious a person you might be.

Maybe that's why they're 'all talking about you'?

[connda]

Back home, you would be lucky to have a girlfriend, here you have a "girl $$ friend " and you cheat on her - with a prostitute.

I'm not a gossip/y sort but I'd say those folk have something to chat about.

Thanks for reinforcing our trite stereotype, well done.

Too funny you are stumped not to see your trashy actions not worth a gossip. Do you think your own countrymen would not be equally shocked?

Heck, they might have just been having a good laugh, I mean what fool brings a hooker to his place of residence?

I do know how working gals work here. Your 'girlfriend' might have 1, 2, 3 or more farang boyfriends right along with you. So, don't think for a second that fidelity is something special here in LOS. It isn't.

I thought this was funny. Durex had a survey a couple of years back. Turns out Thai women are more likely to have a gig on the side than Thai males. And Thai guys get the bad rap LMFAO. (Please don't ask me to source that. Google it. It's out there)

[connda]

Thai woman take great pleasure in bringing down relationships.

There are six things that the LORD strongly dislikes, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

—Proverbs 6:16–19

I guess this is not just a Thai problem eh?

The Five Precepts:

Refrain from killing

Refrain from stealing

Refrain from gossip, lies, and false speech

Refrain from intoxicants

Refrain from improper sexual conduct

Just like many Westerners are brought up on the bible, Thai are brought up knowing the Five Precepts of Buddhism.

Many try to follow the Bible and Buddhist teachings. Many fall short. Such is life. How many perfect people are out there.

[fifthcolumn]

Figure of speech. I know you're just trying to take a poke at her meaning an educated, higher salary Thai would not just let it pass as she has many options while a girl of a lower socio-economic background would just have to accept it and let it go.

She had to let it go as she knows there are 10 more girls ready to take her place the moment she leaves. Free rent at Thonglor, free food, spending money, not having to kiss someone her grandfather's age, white racial background, physically fit and a guy that doesn't beat her or take all her money can be quite appealing for many Thai girls.

Hate to burst your bubble bro, but you ain't been around long have yeh?

Those girls do exactly as they please. You are merely the best option for the moment. She doesn't care what you buy for her, only the money that goes in her pocket. She'd just as soon sleep with grandpa or with ten other hookers in a tiny bedsit if that meant more money in her purse.

You might be a rest stop, and the girls do like a bit of rest - but busines is business and you are the business.

She knows her looks and appeal are limited. She drinks too much and takes drugs. She needs to make as much money before she crashes and burns and must return to Issan.

[bifftastic]

She drinks too much and takes drugs? you know her then?

[Hardened Spanker]

She drinks too much and takes drugs? you know her then?

He's married to her!

[BB1955]

So tell us your girlfriend's reaction to the news of your new friend..... Come on it's all in good fun.

My guess is he is ok ... he still has one finger to type with ,,,,

[BB1955]

I had a similar situation . Wife went home to visit her family . When she got back the neighbor told her I stayed gone most of the time , came in late . I thought this is a bunch of crap . I ve found that most Thais could work for CNN ......... Word to the wise if you do anything "which I don't " Don't poop in your back yard because you will be sure to step in it ...... And never phone a farrang friend , they tell there wives and you know the rest .....

[mav000]

Shucks, I don't care how much rent you pay for the room, how much rent did you pay for the "short timer"?

[In Search of Space]

I don't care…I am only asking why they care so much. Sure, I'm happy here but next time I'll just use a short time hotel…its not worth the aggravation to try and save 350 baht.

What you haven't told us (or I haven't seen it), what did your gf do ?