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Are You A Middlescent?


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I'm 31 have something like this as many of us do. It was worse before when I had an idiot boss and a tech suppot job that had early morning hours and required I talk with angry clients all day. Yes I got burnt out fast. My job now is as tolerable as a desk job can be. I work for a University in finance, my boss is reasonably chill, and I can take classes and use all the University facilities. I still have many days where I feel something close to burn out. I recognize I have a good job but it's not in Thailand where I want to be. Where I feel I can be living life to the fullest rather than all of this biding my time. Even with this strong sentiment unless I get a great job in Thailand with an expat salary or even better some kind of telecommuting setup with my current job I'm going to sit tight and just feel the pain. I'm trying to pack away as much as I can into my 401k. I also am trying to save what I can. It's likely I'll get a decent inheritence right around when I'm 40. If that happens my plan is to stop the desk job daily grind and head to Thailand and find what work I can. I'll live best I can off what money I have until the 401k kicks in. So I'd basically need enough to make it 20 years accentuated by whatever wages I can pick up in Thailand then cruise off my 401k until it's the end of the line. I can't bear the thought of working a desk job for the rest of my life and am willing to take some risks and some salary cuts to get out of it, but not now it's just too much of a gamble.

Same deal here mate, heaven forbid, when the oldies kick the bucket I will be in for a retirement making inheritance. I too am 31. However, even if they outlive me my wife and I are doing very well. 2.5 years ago we were flat broke, thanks to a good job we own our huge house, a great car and have enough money in the bank to do it all again. I don't feel that I am burning out as I have an interesting job and it pays a good wage. However if I was living the life of my old mates in Aust. I perhaps would. I really feel for them you know? I earn in a day what they earn in a week before tax (48% tax) as professionals, my one biggest complaint is that the 10 hours I spend at work each day I am busy for only 1 of them, the rest I am drinking coffee, smoking and waiting to knock off.

Life is hard :o

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Same deal here mate, heaven forbid, when the oldies kick the bucket I will be in for a retirement making inheritance. I too am 31. However, even if they outlive me my wife and I are doing very well. 2.5 years ago we were flat broke, thanks to a good job we own our huge house, a great car and have enough money in the bank to do it all again. I don't feel that I am burning out as I have an interesting job and it pays a good wage. However if I was living the life of my old mates in Aust. I perhaps would. I really feel for them you know? I earn in a day what they earn in a week before tax (48% tax) as professionals, my one biggest complaint is that the 10 hours I spend at work each day I am busy for only 1 of them, the rest I am drinking coffee, smoking and waiting to knock off.

Life is hard :o

so, what is it you do? :D

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after spending 15 years living in los i am now in the unfortunate position of having to go back to the uk and work again, at 50 not a very appealing thought but it has to be done.to all you people thinking of throwing in the towel and living in los because your bored with life at home,work at home or just want a change my answer is go for it,the grass is definatly the greenest iv,e ever seen.if its retirement make sure you have the money,if its work make sure you have the right frame of mind and above all make sure you have a bucket full of patience and a very good sense of humour if your missing any of the above spend your middlescent where you are you will grow out of it eventually.as for me well iv,e had a great 15 years and i will definatly be back after i get through this late life crisis!!!

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I'm 31 have something like this as many of us do. It was worse before when I had an idiot boss and a tech suppot job that had early morning hours and required I talk with angry clients all day. Yes I got burnt out fast. My job now is as tolerable as a desk job can be. I work for a University in finance, my boss is reasonably chill, and I can take classes and use all the University facilities. I still have many days where I feel something close to burn out. I recognize I have a good job but it's not in Thailand where I want to be. Where I feel I can be living life to the fullest rather than all of this biding my time. Even with this strong sentiment unless I get a great job in Thailand with an expat salary or even better some kind of telecommuting setup with my current job I'm going to sit tight and just feel the pain. I'm trying to pack away as much as I can into my 401k. I also am trying to save what I can. It's likely I'll get a decent inheritence right around when I'm 40. If that happens my plan is to stop the desk job daily grind and head to Thailand and find what work I can. I'll live best I can off what money I have until the 401k kicks in. So I'd basically need enough to make it 20 years accentuated by whatever wages I can pick up in Thailand then cruise off my 401k until it's the end of the line. I can't bear the thought of working a desk job for the rest of my life and am willing to take some risks and some salary cuts to get out of it, but not now it's just too much of a gamble.

Same deal here mate, heaven forbid, when the oldies kick the bucket I will be in for a retirement making inheritance. I too am 31. However, even if they outlive me my wife and I are doing very well. 2.5 years ago we were flat broke, thanks to a good job we own our huge house, a great car and have enough money in the bank to do it all again. I don't feel that I am burning out as I have an interesting job and it pays a good wage. However if I was living the life of my old mates in Aust. I perhaps would. I really feel for them you know? I earn in a day what they earn in a week before tax (48% tax) as professionals, my one biggest complaint is that the 10 hours I spend at work each day I am busy for only 1 of them, the rest I am drinking coffee, smoking and waiting to knock off.

Life is hard :o

I'm definitely envious of you Tuky. May be someday we're be in the same position :D

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I burned out at 22 and I'm 28 now. What hope to I have? :o

I believe that is a quarterlife crisis. It's the new midlife crisis. So it isn't just you ol' fogies out there, it's happening to us youngbies too.

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I burned out at 22 and I'm 28 now. What hope to I have? :o

I believe that is a quarterlife crisis. It's the new midlife crisis. So it isn't just you ol' fogies out there, it's happening to us youngbies too.

I was too busy partying to have a crisis at that age

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I was a hotshot through my late twenties and thirties. I was promoted and touted, but the crash came when I was into my forties. I lost interest and drive and was just going through the motions by my late forties. It was too late and too hard to change careers at that stage. I retired at 53. Fortunately I had been able to organise a good retirement income so life is easy financialy.

Be aware the drive and interest can go no matter what you think now.

The answer, do something you love while you still can.

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I was a hotshot through my late twenties and thirties. I was promoted and touted, but the crash came when I was into my forties. I lost interest and drive and was just going through the motions by my late forties. It was too late and too hard to change careers at that stage. I retired at 53. Fortunately I had been able to organise a good retirement income so life is easy financialy.

Be aware the drive and interest can go no matter what you think now.

The answer, do something you love while you still can.

After reading this I had to take a second look at the avatar. I thought I might have posted it myself

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MIDDLESCENT? Yup...

I gotta represent for the 30+ year olds with money in the bank and inheritance down the road.

I ain’t looking to retire but I didn’t get all this education to sit at home. I feel like If I didn’t take some sort of shot at making it overseas, I would be wasting a chance. (hence the posts about international architecture firms)

Sure I could stay in the US and ride out a career, then someday think about ‘what if I had only…The money doesn’t mean much if I am horribly bored.

I figure that I can go over to LOS take 2 or 3 years and make a go of it. If it don’t work out, I’ll only be 35 or 36, plus I will surely have made some interesting and worthwhile overseas contacts.

Before anybody smears me as an impatient youth, I would ask how much time they have spent in Kansas City. After 10 years, you would want to get out too! :o

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MIDDLESCENT? Yup...

I gotta represent for the 30+ year olds with money in the bank and inheritance down the road.

I ain’t looking to retire but I didn’t get all this education to sit at home. I feel like If I didn’t take some sort of shot at making it overseas, I would be wasting a chance. (hence the posts about international architecture firms)

Sure I could stay in the US and ride out a career, then someday think about ‘what if I had only…The money doesn’t mean much if I am horribly bored.

I figure that I can go over to LOS take 2 or 3 years and make a go of it. If it don’t work out, I’ll only be 35 or 36, plus I will surely have made some interesting and worthwhile overseas contacts.

Before anybody smears me as an impatient youth, I would ask how much time they have spent in Kansas City. After 10 years, you would want to get out too! :o

After Kansas City, I can imagine that even Pittsburg would seem exotic. If you have the funding to handle things for a year or 2 and no responsibility other than to yourself then go for it. Even at 35, you could start another career back in the States if you have a marketable skill/degree.

Chok Dee !

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I recognize I have a good job but it's not in Thailand where I want to be. Where I feel I can be living life to the fullest rather than all of this biding my time.

I quoted wasabi but i hear this often. But if i look at the people who say this, they have a very empty boring live. At least in my eyes.

So what is this living live at its fullest in Thailand?

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I'm 44, an electrical engineer/facilities manager & like (not 'love') my current job in Australia. But I absolutley hate the endless 'whip cracking' & 'buck passing' of senior management. A fool could do their jobs. I come home every day totally drained. I don't go out anywhere because I'm so exhausted. I'm sure the right hand side of my brain is being slowly destroyed because I have a mobile phone virtually glued to my ear all day whilst trying to do 60 other things at the same as talking on the phone. I have constant gingevitis, slowly increasing blurred vision, eyes that have suddenly become allergic to almost anything, a constant 'cold' & unexplained rashes on my legs. (BTW, I had all of these problems before I went to Thailand...after 3 months in Thailand, none of these problems existed). It takes the whole weekend of sleeping to get enough energy to repeat the next sickening weekly work cycle. 4 weeks (20 days) holidays per year is not enough to get over the stress of this cycle.

I've tried the 'material possession' trip but it didn't make me happy at all...as a matter of fact, it made my life miserable. Worrying about assets is something I loathe.

In 1999, I realised that what I was yearning was simply a higher quality of life. For me, that meant minimum material possessions/money, lots of people (good social life) & not being dictated to by a work-a-holic corporate ethic. God, I've even tried to go back to being an electrician but at every job interview, I was told that I was over qualified. Tradesman are in very short supply in Australia so these guys are now making more money than some engineers & have greatly reduced job responsibilities & less working hours.

Here in Australia, if your over 40, single or don't have any big debts (like wife+kids or a mortgage), companies won't employ you. They want totally subserviant slaves who are too scared to 'question the boss' for fear of losing their jobs.

I spent a year in Thailand as a 'test run' & had to come back to Australia to make sure if I was actually thinking the right things. I'm glad I did this because I know for sure, what I want.

I'll be returning to the LOS in July with a whole new attitude on life...'live in the moment'.

I don't want to retire, be a millionaire or lounge around all day. I just want to do something without a bunch of shareholders belting the shit out of me so that they can get a couple of extra cents on their annual dividend.

I think working hard is great for a positive outcome. Blood, sweat & tears aren't bad at all if you are the one who decides this.

I'm gunna give my dream the best shot that I've got...for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse.

Edited by elkangorito
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I don't understand this 'working my ass off for the boss' thing. I worked for a boss three years. Management knew nothing about the "nuts&bolts" of their own company. Don't they actually have to, just delegate. But when they stop listening to their workforce and use that information to make better decisions, you know you are in a deadlock. I am in the software business, a fast changing profession. In those three years i worked with systems that were so old they should have been replaced ten years before. In those 3 years i learned everything how NOT to do business. So in a way it was usefull.

As very little was really achieved and i felt being 'dumbified' by the company, i left and started for myself. Anyone who complains about something and don't act on it are weak and afraid. Everytime i changed and made a tough decision it was always for the better.

In my family i am the 'strange' one. The one without responsibility. It is just a way of them showing their jealousy. Nobody can know exactly how you are 'inside'. I know they are wrong and i laugh about their being captured by the system of posessions and debts.

So everyone who has a job he hates, stop complaining and put up your resignation tomorrow. Take control of your live back.

I just want to do something without a bunch of shareholders belting the shit out of me so that they can get a couple of extra cents on their annual dividend.

With your qualifications it would be easy to get your own customers. Start working on this. Try to change your job to a 3 of 4 days a week job and use the other days to get your own company starting. I bet after a few months you will be ready and can say goodbye to that old job.

Make the jump. It is worth it!

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Hi Khun Jean, my comments in blue;

I don't understand this 'working my ass off for the boss' thing. I worked for a boss three years. Management knew nothing about the "nuts&bolts" of their own company. Don't they actually have to, just delegate. But when they stop listening to their workforce and use that information to make better decisions, you know you are in a deadlock. I am in the software business, a fast changing profession. In those three years i worked with systems that were so old they should have been replaced ten years before. In those 3 years i learned everything how NOT to do business. So in a way it was usefull. Sounds like me so far.

As very little was really achieved and i felt being 'dumbified' by the company, i left and started for myself. Anyone who complains about something and don't act on it are weak and afraid. Everytime i changed and made a tough decision it was always for the better. I do this everyday...sometimes twice a day. I'm sicking of fighting for 'common sense' objectives for companies that don't acknowledge this.

In my family i am the 'strange' one. The one without responsibility. It is just a way of them showing their jealousy. Nobody can know exactly how you are 'inside'. I know they are wrong and i laugh about their being captured by the system of posessions and debts. This is exactly me.

So everyone who has a job he hates, stop complaining and put up your resignation tomorrow. Take control of your live back. I'm resigning in 2 weeks & leaving for Thailand on 20 July.

I just want to do something without a bunch of shareholders belting the shit out of me so that they can get a couple of extra cents on their annual dividend.

With your qualifications it would be easy to get your own customers. Start working on this. Try to change your job to a 3 of 4 days a week job and use the other days to get your own company starting. I bet after a few months you will be ready and can say goodbye to that old job.

Make the jump. It is worth it! I know...I've done it before.

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From todays Daily Mail:

If you hate the boss,feel bored and frustrated at work and want a new start but daren't try to find one,you are not alone.

You are suffering from middlescent - a malaise similar to adolescence except that it affects grown ups.

Researchers in the U.S. have given the name to the negative feelings which descend on millions of workers aged from 35 to 54.

Rather like being a teenager,being a middlescent is a frustrating,confusing and exasperating experience.They find themselves leaving work feeling 'burned out,bottlenecked and bored'.

They are also likely to ask themselves questions such as;Have I achieved in life what I expected to achieve?.

One in five is looking for an escape route - but 85% know a career change is difficult if not impossible at their age.

Experts say there is no shortage of middlescents in Britain.

The report suggests a sabbatical can help staff break the routine and rejuvenate.

Sounds like some of us..... Escape route Thailand? I was lucky. My job came to an end when I was 52, big payout and straight on my pension.The wife wanted out after 30 years so everthing came together for a major life change.Amazing how middlescence faded away.

Are you in middlescent? Are you looking for an escape route or have you found one?.

At 46 I beat the system,told them I was stressed out.Got a big pension.They wouldn't let me keep my gun.Big deal!$$$$$ million Dollar + pension --no taxes.PARTY TIME!!!! :o:D:D

Edited by oopapasan
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I'm 63 and was raised by depression age conservative parents for whom the work ethic was taken for granted.

During a long career, in the short range of a year or two at a time, you try to cope with the stress of a less than perfect job, hoping the jerk of a boss will get promoted or transferred, looking for where you could transfer to. In the mid range, five to ten years, you look toward career advancement, maybe more postgraduate work, etc., but in my case, that wasn't great. If I had gotten my CPA (certified accountancy) it wouldn't have helped enough because I'd have gone the wrong route to get it.

I had six kids before getting divorced and going gay. Another result of a conservative background. I had a professional job that made me the fear of policemen, but I washed dishes and waited tables at night! Stuck in a rut, getting close to nervous breakdowns, etc., but you do what you think you have to do, and just keep on doing it.

Finally, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. The twins were 17 and basically on their own; my job was boring and getting much more tense; I was never going to prostitute myself as a manager again; and I still had way too much energy. At age 56, I walked out with about half a pension, and within 26 hours was in Latin America to become fluent in Spanish. At age 60, I was back in the USA stupidly working in the accounting field for less than $10/hour, with no hope for advancement. Thailand rescued me, although beach life on the Pacific coast of Mexico wasn't bad, either, and I did some NGO work that was life-changing.

Nowadays, middle-aged people realize they have more options than their parents and grandparents had. The days of a 45-year career at the same company, with a gold watch and a comfy pension, are gone.

I keep telling my 56-year old good friend to retire. Now I'm trying to tempt him long distance with the lure of beautiful Thai women in their 20's. :o

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I escaped after only working four and half years in my home contintent.

I´ve worked hard in LOS and Guatemala, and now, at 26, I think I´m coming out the other side of my very early mid life.

Then again,

my balls dropped young

My first regular shave was young,

my virginty lost young.

And I don´t intend to live all too long,

So by my calculations, I´m only a year or two short of the middle of my life.

:o:D

I got a question for you all. Im also 26 and have about 12,000,000 baht. For the average farlang inthailand, do you think that this is enough? I love it there...How much is enough

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I got a question for you all. Im also 26 and have about 12,000,000 baht. For the average farlang inthailand, do you think that this is enough? I love it there...How much is enough

is it me or does every thread longer than 3 pages eventually get to this question?

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I got a question for you all. Im also 26 and have about 12,000,000 baht. For the average farlang inthailand, do you think that this is enough? I love it there...How much is enough

is it me or does every thread longer than 3 pages eventually get to this question?

For what it's worth to the 26 yo poster, $300K is worth a LOT more when you're 56 than when you are 26. You have about 55 years to fund.

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I got a question for you all. Im also 26 and have about 12,000,000 baht. For the average farlang inthailand, do you think that this is enough? I love it there...How much is enough

is it me or does every thread longer than 3 pages eventually get to this question?

For what it's worth to the 26 yo poster, $300K is worth a LOT more when you're 56 than when you are 26. You have about 55 years to fund.

When you're old & full of arthritis & own all those 'required' material possessions, suddenly say to yourself, "ok. This is what I've been waiting for...freedom. Maybe now I can do all those I wanted to do...except for rockclimbing, bungy-jumping, running, jumping, sex marathons, etc etc. Oh shit!!! I forgot my heart, diabetes & blood pressure pills. Shit!!! I knew I should have done those things while I was still able to but I was too busy saving for the future."

One can live in 'this moment' or one can pretend to forecast the future.

You may as well live 'high on the hog' today...you may be dead tomorrow.

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When you're old & full of arthritis & own all those 'required' material possessions, suddenly say to yourself, "ok. This is what I've been waiting for...freedom. Maybe now I can do all those I wanted to do...except for rockclimbing, bungy-jumping, running, jumping, sex marathons, etc etc. Oh shit!!! I forgot my heart, diabetes & blood pressure pills. Shit!!! I knew I should have done those things while I was still able to but I was too busy saving for the future."

One can live in 'this moment' or one can pretend to forecast the future.

You may as well live 'high on the hog' today...you may be dead tomorrow.

Wheew, I thought I was the only black sheep around here :o

Edited by KhunMarco
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I'm done. Worked predominately in the same Industry for over 30 years (Insurance) and now 52. The house is now on the market, we have our Condo organised in Jomtien and a school picked out for our daughter. I was going to wait until retirement age but realised a few months ago that I could be dead by then, plus I just could not stand doing my job until I turn 60. I trust we will make enough to get by. My wife wants to run a little business, possible a laundry and I will do a few investments. We do not need to be rich (would like to be but not need to be) just bring in enough to be happy and look after ourselves.

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Wow I see Thailand is continuing with it's attraction to poverty stricken foreigners in young to mid life crissis who will be fine as long as they can live in Thailand. I don't know how many 40 to 60 year old people I have seen in Thailand that lost the plot when they were young, scrimping

by in life just as miserable as they was when they were young and had work they hated.

Try to take care of your health problems when your older and broke, for all these get your fun out of the way when you can enjoy it crowd. You may be the joke for many years to come.

Your suppose to make your work be rewarding in such a way that your future has a light at the end of the tunnel. To succede you don't have to like the work but the final product of it, mainly money in the bank to do as you please in a grand fashion some time in life.

Hey if your digging ditches working at 7-11 who cares, you make your career so get the stamina

and accute senses to succede no matter what it is. I found watching the bank account support a brighter future to give me the drive to continue to get to that light at the end. If you didn't find that drive back where you were earning 10 x what your possibilities are in Thailand your most likely going to be living on the edge and losing the plot stuck in no-mans land later on in life, when things are not as easy to get on with, as at the younger age. You hate simple distractions more when you are older in life also, and that you cannot change.

If you don't do things at least halfway right before you give into temptation, your most likely going to live for the rest of your life as a slave to a poorly funded, dull and boring future. Money will control almost every thought you have for the rest of your life. This destroyes more

relationships than infidelity ever did.

What you get, for what you got, can be so true. Think long and hard

before you get drastic on life long decisions. Only in the last 30 years has a early age retirement been a god given right to the average working class, such as most of us. Ask any thai, their main retirement is or was how many children they had to support them, and their mind set is still much the same. How many foreigners are a life support system ( retirement) for the whole extended family.

Imagine if your future was to have a sister, mother hooking up with a foreigner or whatever, be your family retirement plan.

If you think more vacations will get you through the rough times, you may be right. I would say those that get more determined and use some of the spare time away from work they hate so much, making more money so they can get the savings to the point where it is earning money, like over time pay or part time work will be far better off many years before. You can sit around and hate your situation or you can be more productive and get yourself out of it for ever. I know takes more work and that we hate.

Sorry to make this a long one, but here is where I am coming from. I worked in the worlds worst stink holes where the locals would rather see you dead than look at you, complete despies, and it lives well in Thailand also, Mr. ATM.

I reached the goal I wanted (25 mil baht) and worked so many years on it, young forties, I could live like a king forever in Thailand now, and have the world by its tail. After spending much time reading on how to retire and where and the likes of these message boards. It finally hit me , all these young, fun loving, going to paradise even if I am on a budget retiree's were really just moving this bag of misery to another location, which now, could never be paradise forever

and that is truely a understatement.

So now the dilema, do I want to be the king and social relieve system of some unlucky family

that married off their daughter to a piece of work like myself, still young as I may be. Of course remembering I could be in paradise with so many others like me, the thought that really woke me up, and this is a forever move so have to do it wisely. Harder to get out of poverty once you get in it, than it is to just live in it.

Hmmm' this being the outlook, I immediately put the mind to work delayed paradise "not", if as many others were going to be as miserable as I have been with work and all in the past.

I came up with the new plan, put the boat load of paradise money to work making more for a few more years, keep to the grind stone a bit longer and lets see if we can get a cure for the misery

issue.

Ok, just a few years more and compounding the cash from before, walla, it has about trippled and really fast. Amazing how sudden it all took place, I didn't even hate work anymore even though not much had changed. Must of been because of the Ca-ching, ca-ching of the bank account that I watched often.

I am there now I think, knowing I have enough for at least 25 years of fine living most anywhere other than maybe Paris, N.Y. or London. What do I do, I don't hate work anymore and the only misery I feel is from what do I want to do and where.

One thing for sure, when I get somewhere that has too many people with misery and hated work as much as I use to. I am getting the first buffalo out of town and if they want 10 baht for a 5 baht ride, I'll walk. If they put a couple extra drinks on the bin, I'll write every message board in the world.

As far as Misery goes it is most likely not something your being paid for, maybe what you do with the pay, makes it miserable. My Thailand, my paradise of past, my everything is a thing of the past and if I get bored I may stop by from time to time. Now even my miserable real home is appealing knowing I can be there when I want, or not, when I don't.

As far as hating work or something your being paid for, it was your choice so try to make something better of it than misery and hate. Ask a few of your Issan friends if they want their pay and head back to work or stay longer, wouldn't be much surprise if they pick back to work would it.

life is short and even shorter when you are broke and lose your freedom of choice, like having the cash to be somewhere else. Paradise is not a place, it is freedom of choice and nothing is free about it. Freedom of being somewhere or not being somewhere, is the paradise and that is what we all work for. If in future years you cannot afford to be somewhere you want to be your in the same misery you left years before.

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Khun ?,

That is one of the wisest and most realistic posts I think I've ever read. Especially the part about people just moving their misery from place to place, trying to escape and not find a long term solution. I admit I am guilty of that sometimes.

I am a little confused what you mean by this though.

"So now the dilema, do I want to be the king and social relieve system of some unlucky family

that married off their daughter to a piece of work like myself, still young as I may be. Of course remembering I could be in paradise with so many others like me, the thought that really woke me up, and this is a forever move so have to do it wisely. Harder to get out of poverty once you get in it, than it is to just live in it."

Since you've reached financial independence are you afraid of getting married and having a Thai family siphoon your loot?

Edited by wasabi
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I got a question for you all. Im also 26 and have about 12,000,000 baht. For the average farlang inthailand, do you think that this is enough? I love it there...How much is enough

is it me or does every thread longer than 3 pages eventually get to this question?

For what it's worth to the 26 yo poster, $300K is worth a LOT more when you're 56 than when you are 26. You have about 55 years to fund.

There is little question this is not enough, unless you got "lucky" and died young.

You could take that money and try to start a business in a lower cost country, you would have youth and energy on your side, which many of us can't say.

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