As Women Age....

[Beanster1]

Please be aware that as your wives age, it is harder for them to maintain

the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and

there is nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Mike. Let me

relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Martha. When I was laid

off from my consulting job and took early retirement in April, it became

necessary for Martha to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for

the health insurance benefits we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her

age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets

home from work, and although she knows how hungry I am, she rests an hour

or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to

take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I

generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not

reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not

unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do

what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that

they won't clean themselves... I know she appreciates this, as it does seem

to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think my

old business as a consultant helps a lot. Telling people what they ought to

do is one of my strong points.

Also, now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much

more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement, and sometimes she

says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big

issue of this, just as long as she finishes up the laundry the next

evening. I'm willing to overlook her shortcomings in this area. Unless I

need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to the

Wednesday and Saturday poker club, or to Tuesday's and Thursday's bowling,

I'll tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like

shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. If I had a really bad day on the

course and it was wet and muddy, and my clubs are a mess, I let her clean

them, you know, getting the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on

the club faces.

Since my golf bag is heavy, I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are

delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I

had to tell her that I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf nap,

so rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's

finished. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example,

she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly

bills during her lunch hour.

But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer

encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.

That way she won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt

her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong

points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She

had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try

not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big,

cold glass of fresh squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as

long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too,

and then take her break by my hammock. That way we can talk until I fall

asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Martha, but

I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.

Many men will find it difficult, some will find it impossible! Nobody knows

better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However,

guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your

aging wife because of this letter, I will consider that writing it was well

worthwhile.

After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Regards Mike.

EDITOR'S NOTE

Mike died suddenly Thursday, May 19th. He was found with a Calloway extra

long 50-inch Big Bertha Golf Driver rammed up his rectum with only two

inches of grip showing. His wife Martha was arrested, but after the jury

read this letter, they accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.

She was released from custody on Friday

[John_Betong]

I bet is was an all female jury!

[Beanster1]

I bet is was an all female jury!

No doubt!