Why Thai women is so casual about spouse infidelity?

[IDL]

Cutting one of my very long stories short(er), one of my experiences was:

The [Thai] GF of the bloke I was sharing a house with said one night:

"Ian, do you think I'm stupid?" <deleted>, I was sure she'd never heard me say that!

"why do you say that Pun?" I replied.

"well, I think that John is having boom-boom with the maid, in the house. I think in our bed...".

"I've no reason to believe that myself, I've not seen or caught them", was my reply.

"I know it's the man's way, and have always been told that a man will get bored (tho she probably said boring) with the same woman, but it's wrong to do it in my home".

Conclusion: certainly some just accept it as custom...

[Toscano]

I too marvel at Thai womens view of sex and fidelity . Prostitution is seen as a legitimate source of income , not as something to be frowned on .

My wife started combing Thai dating sites for a man for a widowed friend . Then she started looking for a rich man for herself , getting me to write to

them or write the chat . Eventually she found one coming to Thailand who wanted to date her . She had been doing this so long that I felt she needed to

get it out of her system . I let her go two times for a couple of nights each with an elderly man , but insisted that she got money or more discreetly gold. The first time she got a 2bt necklace and the second time a 1bt bracelet to match . I said to her that's prostitution , what's that she said . The man

thought he'd been talked out of a lot of money and didn't ask her again . My wife is post menopause and doesn't like sex , so he didn't get much joy out of it .

If I was to go with another woman , my wife would be so jealous , she tell me to pack my bags and leave , go back to your own country .

[NoshowJones]

Well I don't know anybody personally that has has their dick chopped off, but then I don't look that closely at the trough. I think that it is more a part of Thai culture that men get away with a bit on the side and know very few blokes that don't dabble...only 1 come to think of it, but I was assured he was lying.

I read a few years ago, that two out of three Thai men use prostitutes in some form.

[bogozy]

My personal experience, thai peoples, at last women, can not keep secret. So any action outside of marriage, would be public, within hours.

After there are the big and hard work, to reestablish the peace!!! Not worth for it.

[Ruin]

lop of the dick, feed it to the ducks

[orc]

Thais are freaking jalous and will suspect you in any occasion to have had another girl....probably because themselves will not miss any chance to get in bed if a "handsome" guy want's them. The definition of handsome can be very flexible, being 20 years old might be enough, or having white skin.

They would never admit it, as they never admit any fault scare to loose their face. Thai men will be even worse.

Now I might insult some thai people that are not like this. Then I'm sorry for them, I just can say I did not meet the thai yet, that will not occasionally cheat.

[GOLDBUGGY]

My wife just points to the kitchen knives and then to the ducks. I assure you that not all Thai ladies aren't jealous.

My Thai Wife To!

And I am sure she means it!

It is also the same for me as her looks compared to mine, with a huge age gap in between.

I can go anywhere I want but she is afraid to let me go without her coming along. Which is fine by me as she is also my Best Friend.

[jonesthebaker]

i think it is only your own personal experience. maybe your women find you unatractive and they would prefer that you didnt have a physical relationship with them. do you have bad breath, rotten teeth, body odor, or are you physically unatractive - fat and sloath like ?

[Berkshire]

I too marvel at Thai womens view of sex and fidelity . Prostitution is seen as a legitimate source of income , not as something to be frowned on .

My wife started combing Thai dating sites for a man for a widowed friend . Then she started looking for a rich man for herself , getting me to write to

them or write the chat . Eventually she found one coming to Thailand who wanted to date her . She had been doing this so long that I felt she needed to

get it out of her system . I let her go two times for a couple of nights each with an elderly man , but insisted that she got money or more discreetly gold. The first time she got a 2bt necklace and the second time a 1bt bracelet to match . I said to her that's prostitution , what's that she said . The man

thought he'd been talked out of a lot of money and didn't ask her again . My wife is post menopause and doesn't like sex , so he didn't get much joy out of it .

If I was to go with another woman , my wife would be so jealous , she tell me to pack my bags and leave , go back to your own country .

Wow, pretty bizarre. Your wife is doing the deed with other men and you're cool with that. Interesting.

[sgtsabai]

It is hard to generalize. My wife would leave me in a heartbeat if she suspected I had a mia noi. If my wife suspected I had a Lao mia noi, not only would she leave, she would leave with a very important body part. She wouldn't tolerate a gik either, hell she wouldn't tolerate my 'playing around'. I go out, stay out at times (always talk with her before so she knows I will be too mao to drive home that night), even make a trip or 2 to Sin City each year, usually when friends from the states are here. I am honest with here, I go out, I drink, I flirt but I don't go with other women. She has no desire to go to the 'farang bars' and I've yet to understand why a man would take his wife to one, unless.....? Frankly I would be hard pressed to find one as good as her, in bed or out. Some Thai wives will tolerate a bit of 'playing around' without the loss of face, not many these days will tolerate a mia noi. One thing I learned long ago, don't shit in your own back yard. All that being said, whether you live in a village, subdivision or whatever, the other Thai women will make up stories about you if they can't find any real dirt, so be prepared, she will hear all kinds of crap, true, half true and just plain lies.

[smileydude]

Casual about it?

Hmmm, I've never heard of a woman not getting jealous about her hubby/partner getting his kiks (pun intended) from another lass unless:

She really doesn't give a rats ass about him except for his being a convenient ATM machine and wants someone to lessen her workload.

She is also gettin "some" elsewhere thus wants to even out the blame if found out.

Entrapment with video evidence to force a divorce and proceed with splitting the booty which she is entitled to but never earned (she will never admit to encouraging it of course).

She wants to start swinging

She is into Menage a Trois

She's a liberal

Edited January 21, 2014 by smileydude

[cherrylee2512]

oldest trap in the book trust me coming from a woman and i shouldnt be saying this secret but the only reason we ever say were ok with it is i we are joking about to get you to tell the truth then if youbare and idiot and fall for it then thats when true feelings come out lol

[Toscano]

Berkshire

I'm not really happy with it . One time I had to drive her to the meeting point , on the way she asked my advice on good sex . I said do it the way you

always do it , which is pretty off puting . She remembered she hadn't put in a nightgown , so we stopped at a big store and I bought her one , I couldn't

let her go without one . I belong to a site called LushStories.com and have correspondence friends who have very open marriages and share with me all their infedelities , every detail . One compensation is that when my wife returns she knows I expect her to give me all the sex I like , however I like it .

My wife is an educated woman 2 university degrees and has a professional job . But sex to Thais seems to be just like having a pee or a poo , there seems

to be little emotion involved .

[Ulic]

Sometimes a freshie is nice but don't make the mistake of getting caught or parts of you may be used to feed the ducks.

They may say they are OK with it but that is just a ploy to get you to admit it. Don't fall for it.

[David48]

Someone go give the OP a gentle prod ... he's typing while he's dreaming ...

[mesquite]

Then there is the other side of the coin. A Thai wife married to a Thai man will cheat with a farang. I'm no "hunk" by any means, but have been hit on by attractive Thai women about 40 yo or so who are married. Never took them up on it. I like breathing in and out.

That's a ludicrous generalization stud. Not all Thai ladies married to Thai men will throw themselves at farangs. Many I know, whilst always polite to any farang, wouldn't be seen dead going out with one.

Some married Asian ladies, not just Thai, IME, seem to like to flirt with farangs. Maybe they interested to see if farang finds them attractive. Very few, IMO, are prepared or really interested in anything more.

Where did I write all Thai ladies married to Thai men will throw themselves at farangs, Einstein?

[marko kok prong]

The Thai women are indoctrinated with the philosophy that they have to find someone to take care of them. Love and emotion are very much a second hand consideration.

Second wife's and giks are highly prevalent in this emotionally amorphous culture within the Thai community and the husband can get away with such duplicity as such activity is ingrained withing the culture.

For a foreigner the rules are a little different and the jealousy that so many proudly refer too is simply insecurity with the risk of loosing their nest egg and perhaps a little face. In most cases Thai women will spit the dummy at the mere suggestion of an outside interest on the part of the husband but this has little bearing on the sanctity of marriage and far more on the threat to what they see as an asset. Sex in Thailand is a commodity so it is not a stretch to consider love and marriage being treated in the same manner

so,so true,very perceptive post.

[marko kok prong]

if you do do it ,do,t s**t on your own doorstep,go to pattaya,Bankok or patong for a holiday.

[marko kok prong]

I too marvel at Thai womens view of sex and fidelity . Prostitution is seen as a legitimate source of income , not as something to be frowned on .

My wife started combing Thai dating sites for a man for a widowed friend . Then she started looking for a rich man for herself , getting me to write to

them or write the chat . Eventually she found one coming to Thailand who wanted to date her . She had been doing this so long that I felt she needed to

get it out of her system . I let her go two times for a couple of nights each with an elderly man , but insisted that she got money or more discreetly gold. The first time she got a 2bt necklace and the second time a 1bt bracelet to match . I said to her that's prostitution , what's that she said . The man

thought he'd been talked out of a lot of money and didn't ask her again . My wife is post menopause and doesn't like sex , so he didn't get much joy out of it .

If I was to go with another woman , my wife would be so jealous , she tell me to pack my bags and leave , go back to your own country .

Wow, pretty bizarre. Your wife is doing the deed with other men and you're cool with that. Interesting.

Pimp on Toscano!

[saroq]

My wife just points to the kitchen knives and then to the ducks. I assure you that not all Thai ladies aren't jealous.

The only Thai ladies that I have been "in a relationship with" who weren't jealous of other partners I may or may not have had at the same time I was with them was because they were also seeing other guys or were happy with me being a meal ticket. My wife would have my nuts for dinner if I cheated on her. Maybe you should have a closer look at your relationship.

[sirchai]

Why do so many foreigners believe that Thai girls/women are so different to those from other countries? They do know who's attractive and why shouldn't they enjoy life as well?

I was asking a Turkish woman a while ago how she'd handle her relationship with her Macho husband.

Her answer was that it all depends on the size of the peoples' involved brains.-

.

Edited January 21, 2014 by sirchai

[nithisa78]

What she says is not what she means....It's a trap!

Trust me, if you play around and she finds out about it.....You're gonna have hell to pay!

If you live in Thailand......Sooner or later she will find out.

Told an ex-pat friend the same thing. He ignored me and has been paying the price. Suicide trap.

[nithisa78]

euh, maybe because working in the sex industry is normal here to support your family instead of an office job ?

might be a signal that she has something something on the side as well...

brother, uncle ....

Because Thailand is the only country in the world with a sex industry ?

Its no different to every other country on earth where women are (or should be) free to choose whether to make £4-£5 a day working for slave driving bastards or 10-20 times that for a few minutes work where you might be treated with respect. The moralising on here is hilarious - what would you do ?

I don't know what I'd do. That is why it is good idea, for me, to help people. Not all this crazy over 20bh 1000bh. What goes around, comes around and not always quickly. Peace on Earth - Good will towards all. Paranoia towards none.

[smotherb]

Or maybe it is because Thai women themselves are the second worst female cheaters in the world. Thai men were the worst male cheaters.

"Women from Ghana and Thailand landed the top spots as the world’s most unfaithful lovers in a new survey.

According to the survey carried out by condom producer Durex on 29,000 women in 36 countries, Malaysian women came third - 39 per cent admitting they often cheat on their mates, behind Ghana (62 per cent) and Thailand (59 per cent).

Full Story: http://www.indianexp...l-study/993788/

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/580258-women-from-ghana-and-thailand-most-unfaithful-study/"

Having been published for my primary data social research and statistical analysis, I am a bit suspicious of a study done by a condom firm on promiscuity. A bit like asking purchasers of alcohol how many of them drink. Simply stated, I would like to see more on how, by whom, and upon whom the study was conducted before I place any confidence in their supposed findings.

Nevertheless, the forum is about Thai women and their acceptance of infidelity by their partners. Asian cultures have long been bastions of acceptance of male extramarital sexual activity. The open availability of sexual pleasure is not doubt one of the reasons some of us falangs come to Asia, is it not? Consequently, male partner infidelity may be more expected than really accepted by our Asian/Thai female partners, and be much more tolerated than it would be by Western females. Of course, discretion and the saving of face, is better than flaunting your infidelity. The fact that so many of you have stated their wives would physically attack them is most worrisome. I hope it is simply dramatic metaphor.

[AdamRich]

That would depend on your definition of infidelity. I have been with many normal Thai women who say it is fine for a man to go have sex with someone, but that is where it ends. I hold the same views. To me, a pole in a hole is not infidelity. Infidelity is when you start spending time with and caring for someone who is not your significant other.

[GOLDBUGGY]

Or maybe it is because Thai women themselves are the second worst female cheaters in the world. Thai men were the worst male cheaters.

"Women from Ghana and Thailand landed the top spots as the world’s most unfaithful lovers in a new survey.

According to the survey carried out by condom producer Durex on 29,000 women in 36 countries, Malaysian women came third - 39 per cent admitting they often cheat on their mates, behind Ghana (62 per cent) and Thailand (59 per cent).

Full Story: http://www.indianexp...l-study/993788/

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/580258-women-from-ghana-and-thailand-most-unfaithful-study/"

How can anyone take this survey seriously and to be accurate as to the true picture of the "Faithfulness of Thai Women."?

Thailand has a Population of about 68 Million People. From that about 20% are kids (0-14 years Old). So for Adult Population you are looking at about 54.4 Million People who could be unfaithful. Now for the sake of an argument, if you are looking at the total Adult Population to be split equally 50/50 between Men and Women, you are looking at a total Female Population of about 27.2 Million Women, who can be unfaithful to there Husband or B/F.

So as it says here, in this so called "Survey" it was conducted on 29,000 Women in 36 Countries. So again, if all things are equal, then they asked about 800 Women in Thailand about there Faithfulness. I repeat! They asked 800 Women in Thailand! Which is later claimed in that newspaper to be a true representation of the 27.2 Million Women that actually live here.

Since 800 people is such a low numbers they also probably only surveyed in one city like Bangkok, or Pattaya. Where if there was any truth to this at all you would probably find higher numbers of unfaithfulness their, then say in a small town or village. Which these smaller places make up most of Thailand's Population. So again this survey does not reflect any true representation of anything.

Consider now how small 800 Women are out of a total of 27.2 Million. That is asking 1 person in every 34,000 people this question. That is like asking 6 random people on the street in Pattaya what they think of this place and why, then printed that as though it was the Gospel Truth. So how accurate can that be?

That is the same as having only 7,435 People showing up to vote in a Presidential Election in all of the United States and then later call him (or her) the Peoples Choice, as he won in a Landslide Victory with a total of 5,000 Votes. The same would be for about 1,000 People for a Federal Election in Canada, and less than 2,000 People in the United Kingdom.

With these odds of 34,000 to 1, and if you bought 412 LOTTO Tickets, you would be guaranteed to win each time. Pretty good investment then in my books. That odds of getting a Royal Flush in 5 Card Poker are about 1 in every 19 Hands. But don't fret as the odds with these numbers of getting 4 of a kind would happen every round. Which you should still be able to win on until your Royal Flush comes up. But if you like winning on a Royal Flush Hand every time then play 7 Card Poker, as you will.

If you want to call this a true survey, when you have a better chance of being murdered twice in your lifetime, as once happens in every 18,000 people, and because they tested only 1 person out of every 34,000 people, then this is "up-to-you". But I prefer to call this what it really is! Which is a scam to sell more newspapers to bored house wives in Malaysian, so they can read and see what they are all missing out on. As well as free advertisements for Durex Condoms. Unless they paid the Reporter to write this, which would not surprise me in the least

[GOLDBUGGY]

IME Thai ladies may like to giggle and tease you about this subject, but do it and you'll be like Mr. Bobbick.

My wife always teases me, about using escorts and massages when I'm travelling - knowing full well that I don't. She'll tease me about eyeing up nice looking girls etc. All in good fun.

Having an affair - she'd go bananas ! I dread to think the nastiness, physical and mental that would come out, and you could forget any kind of reasonableness. And, she's normally a very calm good natured person. Do this and they see it as a snub of their love, sexiness, and massive loss of face. They say Thailand is a small place and everyone will know, look down and laugh at them. This thought drives them crazy - and violent.

This is my experience of normal Thai ladies - not the bar girl or professional sex workers. I've no idea if they'd be more tolerant or not. Possibly, as they're more concerned with money.

Great Post! Especially the part about the "Massive Loss of Face" to them for us being unfaithful. I couldn't agree more!

Since you have enlightened us on your experience, perhaps I can do the same concerning the "Working Girl". Before I met my Thai Wife I had a couple of years to Bach it here. I was working one month on then one month off. Which I came here to enjoy that time off, as any single man would like to do. Tested the Fish Pond for awhile but finally settled for one Bar Girl for about 6 months.

On one of my many trips here I decided I wanted to go fishing again for a few nights. Figured Omn wouldn't mind, considering the business she is in. Would even throw her a couple of Thousand, so she would not loss any money, giving me and her this time away. But after I paid her Bar Fine, and then her to, that she was surprised at as I always paid the next day, I told her not to come over that night.

She was simply heart broken. I saw that in her face right away. Hell, if someone paid me the same to stay home and not work, I would have been happy. Anyway, and without her knowing, I saw her later that night as she spent the whole night just walking around outside back of my hotel, from a distance. I saw her when I peeped out my window, which faced the back on the 4th floor, and for no particular reason. Had I left she would have never known, except for the light being turned-off. Which could also mean I went to bed early, and like I did very often after many drinks.

I decided not to go out that night after all, but not because of this. I just decided that I preferred to stay in my room alone that night, and play with my computer. When I called Omn to come over early the next morning she was there in a flash. I figured she got dressed while running to my hotel down the street.

She asked me about my night and was so happy to hear that I decided not to be with anyone else then. I won't call this love! But it also can't be money, as I paid her the same as if she was with me. Although she ran the risk of losing me to someone else, which is money I guess. But I had been with many other before her, and she knew we got along great together now. She knew my habits and I could trust her. So no reason for me to want to change.

For me it was actually far more of a big surprise then anything else. I had to ask her why it bother her so much, as when I am away working she might be sleeping with 20 or 30 men. In shock, I will never forget her answer. She simply said to me, with a very serious and straight face, "But that is different P.....!" "That is Work!" We both moved on, as friends, but I can never forget those words.

I also met many other Bar Girls who many were married at that time to a Thai Husband. Many of them were very happy married together and planning a child later on. One even had a couple of kids together already. But in all of them that I met, their Husbands knew they worked as Bar Girls and approved of it. I guess now, for the money, but mostly for the same reason I already mentioned. "That it is only Work".

So their you have it in a nutshell. A Bar Girl, Working Girl, or Professional Sex Worker as you called them, have an unusual job, but still always liked to be treated like a Lady. But above all else, they are still, and will always remain, Very Proud and Jealous Thai Women. In this I am sure!

[thefamilyjules]

Then there is the other side of the coin. A Thai wife married to a Thai man will cheat with a farang. I'm no "hunk" by any means, but have been hit on by attractive Thai women about 40 yo or so who are married. Never took them up on it. I like breathing in and out.

Happens with me too..and always will happen specially with farangs..in any country, but here, to date a married woman is a suicide adventure, for both lovers. In western culture, infidelity is a path to divorce, here is a part of marriage. Anyway.....I posted this question because I saw many Thai men talking freely about affairs, even charming other women, in front of their wives....and doing things that I cannot comment here..I was invited many times by professional Thai married men to go out with them to karaoke bars full of prostitutes.....and with wives knowledge. I come back home alone..them...the next day.

Thailand is the #1 country in the world when HIV is contracted by wives and children because spouse behavior.

I think that is a down side of their culture.

I think that is a downside of their culture. You think?

I doubt that those stats are realistically knowable anyway. In any case, the high incidence of HIV/AIDS in this country is a good reason not to 'nork jai' your wife here and not to sleep with any prostitute or anyone else's wife for that matter.

Edited January 21, 2014 by thefamilyjules

[khunPer]

Now another poster, tonypace2 in #22, already mentioned the survey from Durex I had in mind. I believe Durex do these surveys regularly and think to remember that in one the Thai ladies even came in as No. 1 in adultery – in a similar survey for males, Thai men were only number two…! Worth to note, as you always hear about Thai men and karaoke, giks and mia noi…!

Read in one of the many books about Thai relationships (cannot recall which title by heart), that a Thai man has a wife to take care of the house and produce a family (children). Other girls – giks and mia nois – are the ones for fun and to have joyful sex with. If the above survey is trustworthy, then it seems like some wives may also have a bit of fun.

Believe some ladies don’t accept giks or mia nois – kitchen knifes and ducks – others do. Perhaps also a question of how many who shall share his money/wealth. My own observations through 12 years here are, that it seems more common with an extra mia or little gik, than not; and in most cases the Big Mia knows about it; or even know the small mia; or they all live together.

My GF says, that »a man cannot eat the same dish every day…!« Perhaps I’m as lucky as the OP?

She even say, that I can marry some one else, but only as long as I keep her, my GF, as mia noi – because the mia noi normally end up having the big money, most gold and diamonds, a car and a house. (Ups, have to think twice about what I can afford – maybe I'm not that lucky after all? )

»Are Thai women just adapted to the "custom"?.....or Thai concept of love and commitment is different than in the western culture?«

Yes, I believe a combination of both…

[kurnell]

Well I don't know anybody personally that has has their dick chopped off, but then I don't look that closely at the trough. I think that it is more a part of Thai culture that men get away with a bit on the side and know very few blokes that don't dabble...only 1 come to think of it, but I was assured he was lying.

I read a few years ago, that two out of three Thai men use prostitutes in some form.

So few?