How can I get a ex-girlfriend to move out?

[Tmymaimee]

Not sure if this should be moved to the relationship section.

Met a girl in a bar last year and we lived together for 3 months or so. I've become bored in our relationship and wish to see other people.

I told her I wished to end things and it wasn't pretty. At one point, she's lying flat on the ground with her hands in a wai and begging to stay with me. It was very unsettling as I felt so bad for her but I really wanted to move on with my life.

There is no financial incentive for her to stay with me; in fact I am a disincentive. She used to make 5000 baht a night with Japanese men (her target) and I saw her bank account to confirm this. I am in no way faithful now and I am completely honest with her about my desire to move on.

The ironic twist is that the worse I treat her (few phone calls, no honey/sweetheart words, basically just treat her as a friend) the more she wants to stay with me. She says she hopes over time my feelings will change and I will choose her.

I hate to see her cry and I don't want any drama by forcing her out. I just want her to meet another guy who will treat her kind and be there for her and she can move on. When I first moved here, I thought like a Westerner and was so happy to meet a beautiful, sexy girl who wanted to be with me.

Now I just want to live alone for a while but short of forcing her out, nothing seems to be working. My friends suggest bringing another girl home and let her realize I am in a new relationship but I don't want any relationship for now.

Other guys say just offer money for her to leave. That was tried and failed as she won't take any money. She is honest in her feelings for me but I don't feel the same towards her.

Edited January 17, 2014 by Whereustay

[jackr]

Move + change SIM.

[transam]

You team up with a working prostitute and you want advice........

[Briggsy]

Take everything of value that you can. Move out and return in a few days. She will be gone.

[Familyonthemove]

Girls are girls the world over - it does not really matter what their profession might be.

Some can 'imprint' like a baby duck on a pair of farmers wellies - especially if they've been badly treated in the past and meet a genuine nice guy.

But your relationship is going nowhere and benefiting neither party - so the kindest thing to do is to be tough - tell her it's over and you both need to move on and tell her to go.

Then watch your back for a while in case she takes it really badly.

[Jasun]

There's a Thai saying along the lines of "the monkey never lets go of a branch until it has hold of another one". Either you find her another boyfriend, or move out.

[Ajaan]

Girls are girls the world over - it does not really matter what their profession might be.

Some can 'imprint' like a baby duck on a pair of farmers wellies - especially if they've been badly treated in the past and meet a genuine nice guy.

<snip>

Hmm, sounds to me like she still hasn't met a genuine nice guy.

[taotoo]

Take everything of value that you can. Move out and return in a few days. She will be gone.

Or still be there, accompanied by her friends/family/boyfriend/chickens.

[norrona]

There's a Thai saying along the lines of "the monkey never lets go of a branch until it has hold of another one". Either you find her another boyfriend, or move out.

very apt

[Kangawallafox]

Oh dear, what tangled webs we weave.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[iancnx]

Change the locks. Simple.

[i claudius]

Oh dear, what tangled webs we weave. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

But he isnt decieving her ,its just run its course ,just before i came to Thailand originally 23 years ago ,i was in a relationship in the UK with a younger woman ,it was great for a year ,then i wanted to move on ,do what i did take her to a party get her drunk then get a good friend to chat to her and snog her ,then catch them at it and walk away ,saying it is all over , I know, i used to be a right bastard

[uptheos]

If she made 5,000 a night, you must be one heck of a hansum man!

Nice story.

[pinkpanther99]

You should find yourself a hi-so bird mate, I hear they're all the rage around these parts.

Seriously though, you hooked up with a prostitute, it was never going to end well, was it?

Sound advice has already been given here, change sim, move house/condo, block her from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Line, Watsapp, Skype etc

[falkan]

sure japanese guys? not old thaivisa posters 555..

[wym]

Haven't read the specifics, but to answer the title question:

Depends on your relative power.

If she's a low-class farmgirl far from home, and you're a high-status expat with connections through your work, and your home has security loyal to you, you can physically toss her stuff out in the street and tell the guards to call the cops if she makes any trouble.

Only downside with this is if she's a true psycho-b%#ch bunny-burner you may suffer violence as a result. However often this is threatened however, it only actually happens in a small minority of cases.

If your status here in the LoS is a precarious one because of legal issues or your poverty or you're a known monger perhaps perceived by the Thais around your home as predatory taking advantage of the poor young girls of the community,

and/or

she's a socially respected girl with strong connections to the local powers that be

then she can call down her backup resources to make trouble for you.

My strategy if I'm in fear is either to move out myself when she isn't around to cause a scene, relocate to a completely new area, or pretend that everything's fine but suddenly develop money problems and/or start being less friendly, giving her less and less of what she wants from me.

It shouldn't be too hard to bring her round to the conclusion that the pastures are greener and move on of her own volition.

Do NOT think that your fooling around with other girls will bring this decision about in a way you want, it will just escalate things, cause problems where there aren't any now, unforeseen and unintended consequences.

[Gsxrnz]

Change the locks when she's out and throw all her stuff over the balcony.

It's a message she'll find hard to misinterpret.

[mogandave]

move

[sam sen]

would you live with a prostitute in your own country? why on earth would you do it here?

its probably going to be messy but moving out for a while, ignoring her - i mean completely ignore her, she will feed off any attention you give her and she will eventually move out.

or move to a new apartment

learn from this experience.

[Scottythai]

Just sit her down and be an honest guy. Nothing wrong with moving on in your life. Say you are not interested in being with her anymore and you think you should both move on. Time to move out and you wish her the best of luck ect.... She will resist but be persistent not aggressive just speak in a clam voice with her. Let her know that you want her to find a guy who will be willing to stay with her as you simply are not.

[mogandave]

Just sit her down and be an honest guy. Nothing wrong with moving on in your life. Say you are not interested in being with her anymore and you think you should both move on. Time to move out and you wish her the best of luck ect.... She will resist but be persistent not aggressive just speak in a clam voice with her. Let her know that you want her to find a guy who will be willing to stay with her as you simply are not.

What does a clam's voice sound like?

[HardenedSoul]

If she made 5,000 a night, you must be one heck of a hansum man!

Nice story.

Not according to an old post he made http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/680634-why-go-to-so-much-trouble-marryingdating-someone-of-a-different-culture-nationality-mentality-etc/page-2#entry7021139

Why do I date / marry Thai girls despite the cultural gaps? I am 42, look a lot older than 42, short, bald and fairly unattractive. I also have a lot of money. Thailand is perfect for me because back home, money means nothing and will not get you the same level of girlfriend you can achieve in Thailand. I would love to date the truly gorgeous, hi-so models I see around Paragon but they look for guys with way more money than me, as well as guys who are attractive (which I am not).

If she made 5K a pop and catered to the Japanese market, why would she go for and subsequently move in with a short, bald and unattractive 42 year old white man who looks older than he is unless he offered to pay her a very generous stipend?

If she was wiling to stay with the OP after the locals near his Thonglor condo told her they saw him bring another hooker back with him while she was out, he must be dishing huge readies.

As for getting rid of her:

Change the locks, leave her shit downstairs - It's unpleasant but it's effective

Ignore any &lt;deleted&gt; involving moving apartment, changing SIM cards and runnin' like some kinda pussy - leave that for the eunuchs.

Edited January 17, 2014 by HardenedSoul

[muddyleopad]

The honourable thing would be to marry her, surely? You are a cad to tinker with a maiden's affections so - shame on you.

[ttthailand]

Man up and tell her it's over or if you want to be a pussy tell her you need to fly home and she can not stay at condo without you there. Tell her you are not sure when you will be back so she needs to take her stuff. Then take a week holiday and stop contacting her. When you come back keep a low profile. She should be back at the game and banging those Japanese guys again. Out of site out of mind.... Problem solved !

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[In Search of Space]

Be more devious, manipulative & cunning - impossible

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[tingtong]

If she made 5,000 a night, you must be one heck of a hansum man!

Nice story.

On another thought, maybe

Love IS really blind?!

[manarak]

OP: insist she do threesomes with you (and fulfill any other of your fantasies) - this might end up just perfect ;-)

Edited January 17, 2014 by manarak

[nottocus]

Tell her ur a chocolate speedway rider and maybe she'll p off. If not, leave and get a new sim.

[oogster8]

having a foreign prostitute move in sounded good at the time..........................lol.

what bar and her number please? girls who specialize in ippuns are few and far between nowadays.

[thefamilyjules]

Haven't read the specifics, but to answer the title question:

Depends on your relative power.

If she's a low-class farmgirl far from home, and you're a high-status expat with connections through your work, and your home has security loyal to you, you can physically toss her stuff out in the street and tell the guards to call the cops if she makes any trouble.

Only downside with this is if she's a true psycho-b%#ch bunny-burner you may suffer violence as a result. However often this is threatened however, it only actually happens in a small minority of cases.

If your status here in the LoS is a precarious one because of legal issues or your poverty or you're a known monger perhaps perceived by the Thais around your home as predatory taking advantage of the poor young girls of the community,

and/or

she's a socially respected girl with strong connections to the local powers that be

then she can call down her backup resources to make trouble for you.

My strategy if I'm in fear is either to move out myself when she isn't around to cause a scene, relocate to a completely new area, or pretend that everything's fine but suddenly develop money problems and/or start being less friendly, giving her less and less of what she wants from me.

It shouldn't be too hard to bring her round to the conclusion that the pastures are greener and move on of her own volition.

Do NOT think that your fooling around with other girls will bring this decision about in a way you want, it will just escalate things, cause problems where there aren't any now, unforeseen and unintended consequences.

wym, every other post of yours I've read so far has been articulate and on point. For this one, though, you needed to have read the specifics. Interesting as general advice, but I'd rather read your thoughts on the situation as written in the original post.

OP, wow, this is some real stuff you're wading in. You probably know that she's likely to have been trafficked into the commerical sex industry from a young age and to have been mistreated before that, which, among other factors like poverty and low education level, might have led her to resort to prostitution. However the case may be, it seems that she is psychically damaged, at the very least she's probably had few or maybe no relationships apart from the johns before meeting you and now she's immaturely attached to you.

Did you mean that she still lives with you, as in "We have lived together for 3 months or so" ? Not nitpicking the semantics, just want to understand.

If you're giving her mixed signals, or any attention or hope, then you have to be firm and give her absolutely zero positive feedback.