Tmymaimee Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 I am not handsome. I don't give her money. I just want her to leave with no drama. Sure, she made a lot of money before but money doesn't seem to motivate her. I tried the 3 some deal and she always says the same thing….I will do whatever I can to make you happy. I told her from the very beginning that I was not looking for anything serious but it seems like most Thai girls can't comprehend casual dating. Its either all or nothing it seems. Sure, I could throw her stuff out and change the locks but I'm not looking to hurt her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Yes, good idea ....you wouldn't want your WIFE to know who you really ARE! --- I am not sure this is a good recipe for healthy relationships, but it sounds like you have your life pretty organized in order to NOT have healhty anything really. Well, maybe an "image" for those in your immediate vicinity. I'm completely up front that my sexual relationships are - at least in the beginning - on a 100% transactional footing. I'm not talking about a "marriage" in the western equal-rights monogamy 'til death do us part sense at all, I have no interest in that kind of arrangement at all anymore. And at the stage being discussed above I simply said I thought she was a good candidate. Before we close the deal I would make sure she understands it will be an open arrangement where we're free to fool around, have casual physical flings as long as they don't threaten the primary relationship, disclose what the deal is in all honesty. In my experience many Thai women are perfectly fine with such arrangements, as long as OTHER PEOPLE don't know about it, or at least (more importantly) don't know that she knows about it. For her to come to my home in the early stages and be subjected to everyone in the neighborhood talking to her about what a butterfly her man is, is inflicting a cruel level of loss of face, to the point that no one but an explicit sex worker would be willing to tolerate it, and even then the price would skyrocket. And it's not as if the girls are "fully disclosing" every aspect of their other-than-us sex life, that's just the way the game is played here. Nothing to do with how things are (supposed to be) done back home. Which of course is why we're here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amykat Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) Except "wyn" that the OP seems to say he didn't pay her, and that she was taking a hit by not working anymore? So that this was NOT a financial relationship on her part. I'm using the word financial in place of "transactional" .. I am not sure your word choice isn't a bit ambiguous here. Plus, I would question her ability to understand contract law in such a well thought out way, and apply it to her love life as you have ...with your years of justifications of how you do, what you do, and why it works, etc. I mean, I think that is what you are attempting to do. Edited January 18, 2014 by amykat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tmymaimee Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 She actually does love me and never asked or talked about money from the first night. That should have been my first warning. Easier to pay and then you can end things anytime. I can't move as I have a house that is needed for other reasons. Maybe I'll just let things drift along and eventually she will meet someone. No, she never returned to the bar after we met. And she only worked part time to save money as she hated her work. Not the nice guys but the drunk as*sholes that thought they could grab and touch her just because she worked in a bar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amykat Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Okay "wyn" I am 99.9% sure of who I am talking to now ....I was getting a good idea several posts ago. Knowing that, I know this will go on all day, with you writing us all 50 pages of your philosophy which you admit is a bit twisted and not how "normal" people are living. I get sucked in every time with you! I just don't want to read it, or argue about it all day. So ...I'm just going to ignore your posts now and hope the OP will listen to people who are a bit more normal and nice about these types of things ..as he sounds like he is. I do hope you are well and "things" worked out since your last big problems! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Sure, I could throw her stuff out and change the locks but I'm not looking to hurt her. Too late, the situation is such that you have no choice but to hurt her, only question is how - how much, over how long etc. Like the bandaid stuck to a healing wound, it's got to be changed, and doing it fast is the best way. I told her from the very beginning that I was not looking for anything serious but it seems like most Thai girls can't comprehend casual dating. Its either all or nothing it seems. You've got it! I don't give her money. I just want her to leave with no drama. Sure, she made a lot of money before but money doesn't seem to motivate her. Called the long con. If you try to buy your way into a smooth exit the price she'll put on it will be totally unreasonable. Sure give her enough that she'll be able to get a room, or if you leave let her know the rent's paid up for a couple of months and let her keep the deposit, but don't turn it into a negotiating session. Just go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brasilouro Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Reading the OP's last post sounds like he doesn't see him self as much of a catch .. And has a taste for hired help .. I think he likes all the attention he's not had before !!! I mean come on if you want her out for good it's not hard .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 She actually does love me and never asked or talked about money from the first night. That should have been my first warning. Easier to pay and then you can end things anytime. I can't move as I have a house that is needed for other reasons. No, she never returned to the bar after we met. And she only worked part time to save money as she hated her work. Not the nice guys but the drunk as*sholes that thought they could grab and touch her just because she worked in a bar. Except "wyn" that the OP seems to say he didn't pay her, and that she was taking a hit by not working anymore? So that this was NOT a financial relationship on her part. I'm using the word financial in place of "transactional" .. I am not sure your word choice isn't a bit ambiguous here. Plus, I would question her ability to understand contract law in such a well thought out way, and apply it to her love life as you have ...with your years of justifications of how you do, what you do, and why it works, etc. I mean, I think that is what you are attempting to do. I use "transactional" specifically because so many of these girls don't want to be on a pay-for-play basis because that works in favor of the sponsor. They're looking for a long-term commitment, if possible life-time security, and (most importantly) the self-respect of being able to feel they're not an explicit sex worker. Which is all fine and good, but for the sponsor to protect themselves IMO it needs to be spelled out that there isn't any open-ended promise for how long it's going to last, and even if she doesn't take the money month to month, it's put into an account accumulating for severance purposes down the road. And pretty patronizing to claim they're too naive or unintelligent to understand. It's true you need to be straight out clear spoken even "brutal" from your POV to get the message across, but of course that's important to avoid the kind of "misunderstandings" like this situation, which are so common as to be the norm in farang/TG arrangements. Maybe I'll just let things drift along and eventually she will meet someone. No dude, ain't going to happen. By letting her stay you're telling her there's a chance you'll give in. If you're doing business out of the house or something then get another place to live and only show up to work. You can of course be civil to her, but try your best not to be "nice" or she'll just take it wrong. Much better if you can find a way to make it a clean break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IDL Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Ask her to pay for dinner! That along with cutting off her allowance and changing the locks should do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 In my experience, though well short of your 50 lifetimes' worth, there is no Thai girl worth the effort who will be impressed by seeing how cheaply you live. What effort? The whole point of this kind of transactional arrangement is that you don't have to jump through any hoops. And I don't try to pretend I live there, play it totally straight, lay my cards on the table, state the deal, up to her (or more to the point her family elders) they're free to take it or leave it. All long before she comes back to Bangkok with me. . . Well then, my mistake. I did not realize you were talking about renting a pied a terre in the town near her village close to the rice field. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveB2 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Move + change SIM. Yep, and assuming you're living in rented accommodation... Move out any of your expensive stuff gradually to somewhere else( a friends place, or rent storage), and let your landlord know you're moving away for a few months and don't need the room anymore. Finally, move a long-long way away from where you origonally lived to somewhere your paths will never cross again. Don't move somewhere local where you might be seen with another girl - that will definitely p1ss her off and almost certainly illicit an undesirable reaction. No need to change your SIM card, simply add her to your caller black list. No need to move her out - the landlord will take care of that little business Thai on Thai. In the end - she'll get the message sooner or later - though some drama should always be anticipated during these breakups. Accordingly, it should be remembered that 'The weapon of a women is her tears' - and being a professional mattress actress, she will be most adept at faking emotions for her own financial benefit, be ye warned 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wym Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 And I don't try to pretend I live there, play it totally straight, lay my cards on the table, state the deal, up to her (or more to the point her family elders) they're free to take it or leave it. All long before she comes back to Bangkok with me. . .Well then, my mistake. I did not realize you were talking about renting a pied a terre in the town near her village close to the rice field. Confused. Upcountry girl, deal struck there, once closed she comes to live in Bangkok, what's so complicated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeVee1st Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Send her to the market for food, while she is gone lock the place up and move to another place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oogster8 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 A parting gift of 10,o0o baht would do the trick.....you did say she is a prostitute? If she were hi-so thai chinese -maybe not so much...............lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oogster8 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 (edited) She actually does love me and never asked or talked about money from the first night. That should have been my first warning. Easier to pay and then you can end things anytime. I can't move as I have a house that is needed for other reasons. Maybe I'll just let things drift along and eventually she will meet someone. No, she never returned to the bar after we met. And she only worked part time to save money as she hated her work. Not the nice guys but the drunk as*sholes that thought they could grab and touch her just because she worked in a bar. She does LOVE you........................hahahahahaha! No wonder u having a hard time. U just too darn stupit! sorry pal! it true! you have iq of a donkeys ass. She gave up 5k a night for an unKNOWN- i smell dumb man or guy not telling the whole truth here. a girl making good money would not be offended by groping in the bar- not hard to advoid those unwanted advances. its part of being a hooker. Edited January 18, 2014 by oogster8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphMichaels Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 @ the risk of being considered obtuse, the question includes the word "ex girlfriend" yet I think it's safe to say she's not an ex until you completely and inexorably extricate yourself from the relationship. Good luck tho...., some good advisory here. But as my wise grandfather always said, "be careful of giving advice..., wise men don't need it and fools won't heed it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thousandpercent Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 You said you want her to get another man. I am single and wonderful. With a little encouragement from you, she might seduce me. I will get her out of your home. Win. Win. Win. It's worth a try. Sent from my GT-N5120 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozyjon Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Darling i have no money Darling i have no money i must go back to my country to work (see you never) move, chuck away simm card, start again. Oh how the love goes on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
impulse Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Had a similar situation in China about 10 years ago- though I met her at my office so she wasn't in the business. We lived together for almost a year. For about a month, I told her that one of her behaviors was unacceptable to me (it was a deal killer, BTW). When it didn't get better after a month of incrementally serious discussions, I gave her a date that she needed to be moved out. I recall it was about a month's notice. Then I continued my life, sleeping in the 2nd bedroom. She had the rest of the apartment. There was trauma, drama and threats of suicide (suicide is the go-to threat of spurned Chinese women). I didn't abuse her, I didn't bring home another woman, and I didn't offer any chance of reconciliation, or physical contact. By the time the month was over, she was pretty calm about moving out- and I helped her move. That month gave her the time to make other arrangements for a place to live, and was a small price for me to pay to know I had treated another human being decently. But then, my posts in other threads have clearly established that I am a wussy with a capital "P". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 And I don't try to pretend I live there, play it totally straight, lay my cards on the table, state the deal, up to her (or more to the point her family elders) they're free to take it or leave it. All long before she comes back to Bangkok with me. . .Well then, my mistake. I did not realize you were talking about renting a pied a terre in the town near her village close to the rice field. Confused. Upcountry girl, deal struck there, once closed she comes to live in Bangkok, what's so complicated? Desirable upcountry girl who is somehow able to meet a farang without leaving the village, spendfs time with him at a close to village location and then goes wide-eyed down to Bangkok after he placates her family elders. OK 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morakot Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Talk to hear. Tell her that her feelings for you will eventually change at some point when you have gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little mary sunshine Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 So SIMPLE.......Give one of your friends that she doesn't know 30,000B. Introduce Him to your gf....Have him spend lots of the $ on her.....She'll dump you for him... .......Game Over.............She is gone............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonar6ca Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 You met a girl in bar..... say no more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosha Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 If she made 5,000 a night, you must be one heck of a hansum man! Nice story. Don't bar girls refer to the Japanese men as 333? 3". 3 minutes. 3000 Baht. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennypowers Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 'it's amazing how we can love women, yet treat them so badly'- John Snow 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc46 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 R you serious? Get out and move somewhere else, unless you R stupid ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikemac Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Be more devious, manipulative & cunning - impossible Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand ie. Move to Dubai and break up with her via Skype .................................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In Search of Space Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Be more devious, manipulative & cunning - impossible Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand ie. Move to Dubai and break up with her via Skype .................................. How did that plan get out ? Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmfao Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 She has go to learn the hard way as I and many others in the past have, Explain to her the benefits of you two breaking up and that it is pointless for both of you to continue this relationship when you are so unhappy, after some time she will realize you were right in harshly breaking the relationship up, To me It sounds like your lady has issues and is not a very strong person, which breaking up with her maybe the best thing that could happen to her. Or if all fails tell her your leaving Thailand and just fly to Chang mai for a week and relocate, possible if you live in Bangkok lol. I told my girlfriend from the start that I didn't want anything serious and never tell her I love her as I didn't know if I was going to stay in Thailand or if I ever wanted to settling down with a Thai girl as I like to single and independents so if I do break it up she understands and I wont feel even a little bad and she agrees with me. ah what a relief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoonman Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I had one that would not leave so I packed my gear and left whilst she was out. Told the apartment manager what was going on and when she returned he informed her I had left and as she was not on the apartment lease she had to go as well. I moved back into the apartment a week later. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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