Alcohol.

[Griffin]

Thanks one and all. The suggestions from Sheryl, amongst others, were gold. It has been a couple of weeks or so since my post so I though I would update you.

Years ago I would have admitted to a slightly addictive personality but with a selection of substances available I could chop and change. Curbing my drinking with speed before changing to something new. Perhaps this was a sub-concious way of avoiding addiction.

Once again I should own up to those of you that took time to reply. I did fluff the facts. Let's just say I was getting through alot of spirits after the social beers. It was the whisky top ups that were causing the problem.

My problem and demons have been mine to share as I have never let anything happen to my family life. Maybe I still see people with problems as those beating wives and not like me whose drunkeness goes little further than making food I don't eat.

On to the present day. I confessed my thoughts to my far far better half who answered "yes i know you do". Perplexed, I asked why she had not said much. Her answer "how can i show you something that you can't see" left me in awe.

Yet I still feel that there is much to do. I did enjoy a single beer with a meal and felt good at saying no to a second. However, days later I saw the other side. A sharp unplanned right turn into a local store left me clutching an open beer at the door. Guilt stopped me repeating that.

I cannot say that I am over this problem but I can see it and am in a better position to deal with it.

My view of anything church related remains the same. I am sure that the AA do a great job but getting me to pray or lean on anything 'higher' is pointless as I know for a fact that there is no 'god'.

My stage 2 is too try and adopt a tee-total life or try and manage at a 'normal/safe' level.

lets see.

[thankuverybig]

i would say if you like a drink,& have too much time on your hands,bangkok is an easy place to become an alcoholic.youre walking past bars most of the time if your in or near a tourist area.

also its a nightmare getting anywhere,so alot of times its just easier to escape the smoke & noise by going in an air con bar.

sorry,i have to go now.im dying for a beer.

cheers.

[Sheryl]

The higher power does not have to be god. It can be the group of AA members who support you through it. It can be nature. It can be what buddhists would call the Dharma, or universal, impersonal law. There are lots of people in AA who do not believe in god, trust me on that.

The reason I stress this is that the 12 step programs do work and it is not possible to do it on your own. I myself joined Al-Anon (for family members of alcoholics) some years ago, I also do not believe in "god" or any kind of supreme being, and I ahd no problem and gained greatly from the program, so I am speaking from experience. Please at least give it a try...if you find it too "churchy"(which I don't think you will), try another meeting, and if they all strike you that wway then don't go -- at least you'll be chosing from actual experience rather than a pre-conceived idea.

In addition, if you think you can do 10 days without alcohol in a protected environment, consider a Vipassana course. Although vipassana was taught by the Buddha it's practice does not involve any sort of worship of anything, and no need to be Buddhist. It is VERY effective for addistions, especially the particular type I am about to recommend as it works directly with the mind-body interface and dynamics of craving. Go to www.dhamma.org for complete info and you can get the course schedule for Thailand and apply online by clicking "worldwdie course schedule"then "South Asia"(or maybe Äsia, forget which), then Thailand. 2 centers, one 2 hours from Bangkok and one in Pitsanalok.

If you want info on the medication I mentioned, PM me and I'll give the name, side effects and other details. It sounds like you have flunctuating degrees of willpower and a supportive spouse so it just might help. If, for example, you can motivate yourself to take it first thing in the morning (when most people's desire to drink is lowest), you'll then be safe for the day. It's a once a day dosage.

Good luck!

[phibunmike]

What an interesting thread, and thanks to the OP for bringing it up. I am sure there are many of us who privately wonder if we are at some stage of alcoholism. There is rarely a day I do not drink, but every now and then I test myself with a few days off, and it seems ok. I very rarely drink during the day, but most days my routine is a G&T at 6 or 7pm, wine with dinner (or maybe a few beers), perhaps a scotch before bed. I do really look forward to the G&T - is that a craving ? (But not all day, only think about it as I am moving into "relax in the evening" mode from "work during the day" mode.

I am a binge drinker - I can quite easily go without, but once I have had a few I want more. I don't know if that is related.

One thing I would say to Griffin, is that habit and routine play a large role in this. Find an alternative drink. For example, if you always have a beer before dinner, change it to a cup of tea or a lime juice. One thing I am doing now is changing my nightcap from scotch to tea - most nights . It is just as pleasant, and fills what is apparently my need for a routine.

[Sheryl]

Yeah, as mentioned before, alcoholism takes different forms in different people. The distinguishing feature is the element of compulsion. It can be a compulsion to drink regularly, or to drink at specific times, and/or it can be a compulsion to keep drinking once you start. This last is often linked to problems with blood sugar regulation (not diabetes, but hypoglycemia or what is sometimes called metabolic sysndrome).

The key is "compulsion"as opposed to desire...you have to do it, whether it is drink at certain times or keep drinking once you start. If you simply want to but can refrain without difficulty then it is not alcoholism. But if you find will power alone isn't sufficient -- or that it is really, really a battle to refrain -- then the element of addistion is there.