Is this a fair representation of many Thai men?

[thailiketoo]

I really do wonder if the people on this forum who defend Thai's and their sometimes pathetic attitudes, actually live or have ever lived in Thailand for a prolonged period. I would go as far as to consider such people as either retires or people who deal with Thai's on a very limited basis and the Thai's they do deal with are either very well educated possibly western educated and/ or in the service industry where they are being paid to be polite to you. Try and work in an industry in Thailand where you really are the sore thumb. Or maybe they are just liberals and would have given the likes of Saddam Hussein and Stalin the time of day just to be politically correct and polite.

Begs the question what do you do and how long have you been here?

[Robininbkk]

OP, do you feel treatened by your described thai males?

It seems you only know and have contact with the bottom end of the lower class thai males. Even so, not all lower class thai males acts that way, it's ridiculous stereotyping and generalizing. You have been reading too much monger stories and tourist heavy places such as patong and pattaya.

Edited February 6, 2014 by Robininbkk

[h90]

wow, now there is a whole lot of stereotypical twaddle.

Posted in a forum dedicated to purveyors of stereotypical twaddle.

"They love to gloat when they see themselves as victorious ..."

That would be the George Bush, "Mission Accomplished" and Neville Chamberlain "Peace for Our Time" syndrome ... and neither of these oblivious twits was known to be Thai.

Bush indeed seems to close related to some members of Thai government.

[Bernard Flint]

I would say this is representative of middle to hi-so thai men.I call it throwing their dummies out of the pram.

[dighambara]

I suspect most women from any culture in the world would say you've just described a "typical" male, irrespective of race.

I would be very, very surprised if that was the case.

Besides, I'm sure you mean 'culture' and not 'race'.

Very very true - there is only one "RACE" - the Human Race.

However, Thai males have always lived down to the description so eloquently written for this blog.

During my time here, I have met dozens of divorced women; nurses, shop keepers, sales girls, masseuses and many others. The sory told is a broken record of drunkenness, beatings and other women, although in variouis percentages, such as he only beat me when he was drunk, or he only went with other women during that time of the month, etc.

Nothing anywhere near what I think is a faithful, supportive husband...

[Ajaan]

OP, you do realize that you've perfectly described a good portion of the posters on Thai Visa (with respect to their behavior on the forum), don't you?!

[Robininbkk]

I suspect most women from any culture in the world would say you've just described a "typical" male, irrespective of race.

I would be very, very surprised if that was the case.

Besides, I'm sure you mean 'culture' and not 'race'.

Very very true - there is only one "RACE" - the Human Race.

However, Thai males have always lived down to the description so eloquently written for this blog.

During my time here, I have met dozens of divorced women; nurses, shop keepers, sales girls, masseuses and many others. The sory told is a broken record of drunkenness, beatings and other women, although in variouis percentages, such as he only beat me when he was drunk, or he only went with other women during that time of the month, etc.

Nothing anywhere near what I think is a faithful, supportive husband...

Like I said before, that mostly applies to the lower end of the spectrum of the lower class thai males.

Moreover, it's a bullshit story they like to tell farangs. They know that many farangs have this ''knight on a white horse'' tendency to save the dame in trouble.

Edit, its a very very old story. Nowadays happens only in little villages mostly, the big cities, and especially Bangkok are more westernised in that regard.

Edited February 6, 2014 by Robininbkk

[saroq]

Is this really worth the time and effort?

Yep I got as far as your post and I've also given up. The OP must be having a bad day.

[Khon Thai Ben Khon Dee]

Fascinating, insightful replies.

Please continue.

[Munger]

I really do wonder if the people on this forum who defend Thai's and their sometimes pathetic attitudes, actually live or have ever lived in Thailand for a prolonged period. I would go as far as to consider such people as either retires or people who deal with Thai's on a very limited basis and the Thai's they do deal with are either very well educated possibly western educated and/ or in the service industry where they are being paid to be polite to you. Try and work in an industry in Thailand where you really are the sore thumb. Or maybe they are just liberals and would have given the likes of Saddam Hussein and Stalin the time of day just to be politically correct and polite.

There are 2 threads in the"general topics" today, and the thai apologists are defending thai driving, and are blaming the farangs/ western countries. As usual" Berkshire" has chimed in defending the thais

[Sam Gold]

I have to disagree, my partner is a ''Thai Male'', and he is nothing like what you have written,

My only negative about him, is that he is ''Stubborn'', but at the end of the day we can all be ''Stubborn''...

For the sake of relevance, it's fundamental to take a step back and see things objectively without bias.

Of course there are good Thai men, but anyone failing to concur with what the OP is saying is either a newcomer or lives in a temple.

[wprime]

I suspect most women from any culture in the world would say you've just described a "typical" male, irrespective of race.

I would be very, very surprised if that was the case.

Besides, I'm sure you mean 'culture' and not 'race'.

Very very true - there is only one "RACE" - the Human Race.

However, Thai males have always lived down to the description so eloquently written for this blog.

During my time here, I have met dozens of divorced women; nurses, shop keepers, sales girls, masseuses and many others. The sory told is a broken record of drunkenness, beatings and other women, although in variouis percentages, such as he only beat me when he was drunk, or he only went with other women during that time of the month, etc.

Nothing anywhere near what I think is a faithful, supportive husband...

Divorcees are not the most reliable source on men, in any culture

[saroq]

I really do wonder if the people on this forum who defend Thai's and their sometimes pathetic attitudes, actually live or have ever lived in Thailand for a prolonged period. I would go as far as to consider such people as either retires or people who deal with Thai's on a very limited basis and the Thai's they do deal with are either very well educated possibly western educated and/ or in the service industry where they are being paid to be polite to you. Try and work in an industry in Thailand where you really are the sore thumb. Or maybe they are just liberals and would have given the likes of Saddam Hussein and Stalin the time of day just to be politically correct and polite.

The same is equally true for the lower end of humanity in the West. Why would you expect the lower end to be any different in Thailand?

[fittobethaied]

I suppose the OP has some very valid points, but then again we all have a way of stereotyping an entire people group based on our own individual experiences with them. It's easy to paint all with the same brush, but I don't think that is our true intent when we want to express our opinions and tell others what we really think about the Thais, Chinese or any other nationality. Sadly enough, I for one find myself bashing Thais quite a bit and generalizing, but what I am really trying to say is that "experientially" I haven't met a Thai male in my 4 years here that I would give you a plug nickel for. I lived in Taipei, Taiwan for three years and I can say the same thing about those that I met there. On the other hand, I lived in Manila, Philippines for 11 years and had dozens of male friends and associates and can only think of a few that I didn't like. I attribute the big difference in my perceptions to the fact that the Filipinos speak English and I was better able to understand them as a people; however, I don't speak Thai or Taiwanese, so the language barrier keeps me from truly understanding why the Thais and Taiwanese behave the way that they do. As a result of not being about to understand a people group, one has a way of alienating himself from them because a lack of understanding breeds what I call FUD...Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt! When I feel that way I go into protection mode and segregate myself from the rest based on the painful personal interactions between a few.

Since retiring here in 2010 I have observed intently the Thai male, and what I see is that they are not "real men" at all based on the way that I characterize men through my paradigm. As we say where I come from, they are "pussies and wimps" and I've never met one that had a backbone. They are spoiled and pampered as babies and young children, and they grow up to be spoiled teenagers and then spoiled adults. I have much more respect for the women in this country and have met few that I didn't like. The men that I have met are lazy, irresponsible and untrustworthy, and if their lips are moving you can be sure that they are lying to you. With my mindset I can be pretty sure that if I live another 20 years here before I die, I doubt that I will ever find a real male Thai friend because frankly I have given up looking for one. I stay as far away from them as I can because my fear of having a knife put in my back, literally or metaphorically, is greater than my need for friendship.

So, in closing, it's interesting to hear what others think about Thai males, but it becomes a mute point since my opinions of them have already been set in concrete and I have nothing good to say about them. I will just be content to live out the rest of my days with my focus being centered on my wonderful wife and equally adorable two adult stepchildren. And good luck to the rest of you in trying to understand the Thai male psyche. Unless you're born and raised among them you will never be able to figure them out.

[Khon Thai Ben Khon Dee]

I have to disagree, my partner is a ''Thai Male'', and he is nothing like what you have written,

My only negative about him, is that he is ''Stubborn'', but at the end of the day we can all be ''Stubborn''...

For the sake of relevance, it's fundamental to take a step back and see things objectively without bias.

Of course there are good Thai men, but anyone failing to concur with what the OP is saying is either a newcomer or lives in a temple.

I suppose the OP has some very valid points, but then again we all have a way of stereotyping an entire people group based on our own individual experiences with them. It's easy to paint all with the same brush, but I don't think that is our true intent when we want to express our opinions and tell others what we really think about the Thais, Chinese or any other nationality. Sadly enough, I for one find myself bashing Thais quite a bit and generalizing, but what I am really trying to say is that "experientially" I haven't met a Thai male in my 4 years here that I would give you a plug nickel for. I lived in Taipei, Taiwan for three years and I can say the same thing about those that I met there. On the other hand, I lived in Manila, Philippines for 11 years and had dozens of male friends and associates and can only think of a few that I didn't like. I attribute the big difference in my perceptions to the fact that the Filipinos speak English and I was better able to understand them as a people; however, I don't speak Thai or Taiwanese, so the language barrier keeps me from truly understanding why the Thais and Taiwanese behave the way that they do. As a result of not being about to understand a people group, one has a way of alienating himself from them because a lack of understanding breeds what I call FUD...Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt! When I feel that way I go into protection mode and segregate myself from the rest based on the painful personal interactions between a few.

Since retiring here in 2010 I have observed intently the Thai male, and what I see is that they are not "real men" at all based on the way that I characterize men through my paradigm. As we say where I come from, they are "pussies and wimps" and I've never met one that had a backbone. They are spoiled and pampered as babies and young children, and they grow up to be spoiled teenagers and then spoiled adults. I have much more respect for the women in this country and have met few that I didn't like. The men that I have met are lazy, irresponsible and untrustworthy, and if their lips are moving you can be sure that they are lying to you. With my mindset I can be pretty sure that if I live another 20 years here before I die, I doubt that I will ever find a real male Thai friend because frankly I have given up looking for one. I stay as far away from them as I can because my fear of having a knife put in my back, literally or metaphorically, is greater than my need for friendship.

So, in closing, it's interesting to hear what others think about Thai males, but it becomes a mute point since my opinions of them have already been set in concrete and I have nothing good to say about them. I will just be content to live out the rest of my days with my focus being centered on my wonderful wife and equally adorable two adult stepchildren. And good luck to the rest of you in trying to understand the Thai male psyche. Unless you're born and raised among them you will never be able to figure them out.

Two fascinating replies.

Thanks.

[donniereadit]

As a MAN you never encroach on another MAN'S space unless you are invited to do so.

Negative emotions are let out in different ways. Little by little in small spites, jeering, taunting, everyday slights, overcahrging by small amounts like 5 baht, snide remarks behind your back etc. Sometimes rage, if it's not handled right.

What you mention is actually termed 'pretty easy to deal with' in 95% of cases. In the west you would have people being much more aggressive and causing problems on a daily basis.

Here, if your solid, you can pretty much ignore problems and they will deflect off you and backfire on others. If it's you that's the problem you will likely find it harder to get support from others to deal with it.

[onewhowalkswithbuffalo]

I really do wonder if the people on this forum who defend Thai's and their sometimes pathetic attitudes, actually live or have ever lived in Thailand for a prolonged period. I would go as far as to consider such people as either retires or people who deal with Thai's on a very limited basis and the Thai's they do deal with are either very well educated possibly western educated and/ or in the service industry where they are being paid to be polite to you. Try and work in an industry in Thailand where you really are the sore thumb. Or maybe they are just liberals and would have given the likes of Saddam Hussein and Stalin the time of day just to be politically correct and polite.

The same is equally true for the lower end of humanity in the West. Why would you expect the lower end to be any different in Thailand?

The elite western educated of this country and a very small minority which could be considered as an upper class. The vast majority of Thais, probably about 97% are not educated abroad and therefore my paragraph applies to them. So I would not agree with your analysis.

[onewhowalkswithbuffalo]

I really do wonder if the people on this forum who defend Thai's and their sometimes pathetic attitudes, actually live or have ever lived in Thailand for a prolonged period. I would go as far as to consider such people as either retires or people who deal with Thai's on a very limited basis and the Thai's they do deal with are either very well educated possibly western educated and/ or in the service industry where they are being paid to be polite to you. Try and work in an industry in Thailand where you really are the sore thumb. Or maybe they are just liberals and would have given the likes of Saddam Hussein and Stalin the time of day just to be politically correct and polite.

There are 2 threads in the"general topics" today, and the thai apologists are defending thai driving, and are blaming the farangs/ western countries. As usual" Berkshire" has chimed in defending the thais

They probably think that one day when they get deported for supporting the yellows or red's because of their innate patriotism for a country they were not born in, they can ask the judge to refer to their comments on Thai Visa...............and then subsequently point the finger at us apparent bigots. It's quite pathetic really and their wives must have them wrapped around their little pointed nail fingers. the phrase strung up by the balls comes to mind.

[dao16]

To OP--

No, quite the opposite. But, I don't hang out with prigs in any country I go to.

[Khon Thai Ben Khon Dee]

^ Actually I'm a fully fluent reader/writer as it happens. Passed my Por Hok 5 or 6 years ago. Our company has had in-house Thai language courses since I joined over a decade ago.

You seem angry.

Strange how many posters try to turn it onto the poster, isn't it.

[Notable]

You're a tad behind me in language proficiency then, I have a language BA from KK uni and work as a full time translator. If you think that way about Thai men how would you say they perceive us, after a trip to Pattaya for example? I'm very at ease with Thai cultural differences, you're obviously not. Or maybe you've just got personal issues. Either way you're making a sweeping judgment, based on your own negative outlook.

[youngerman]

I only know one thing about Thai males, they are crap drivers, ALL of them.

(Yes I had a bad morning on the road, even my wife used the finger this time )

Yes you're right there. I used to be mostly chilled out here, riding the motorbike, But since i've been driving a car. I've turned into a erupting volcano, The Thai driving is, utter, utter chaos. I've never experienced anything like it in 38 years of driving. It like driving in a video game, where you have to try and make it from A to B, without exploding, or someone trying to wipe you out. Its even worse when the missis is in the passenger seat, telling me what i'm doing wrong, When to stop, When to go, Where to park.Well she has been driving for nearly a year! Most journeys in the car, end up in complete silence after about 5 minutes, and sometimes for the rest of the day, indoors!

I could go on for ages ,on this subject,

Anyway, I needed to get that off my chest!

[Khon Thai Ben Khon Dee]

You're a tad behind me in language proficiency then, I have a language BA from KK uni and work as a full time translator.

I don't think you're aware of what the Por Hok exams entailed, and cannot believe your story, sorry Mr. Angry Man. Never mind and please move on if you cannot or do not want to address the opinions in the OP.

[Sam Gold]

To all those who regularly go on about how it's different in upper urban classes, that obviously if you hang out with the wrong crowds in low-class rural environments etc...:

75% of Thai people live in a village. It's not just Isaan (another seemingly popular myth, I've noticed) but everywhere, North, South, East and West, and the sociological trends are consistently identical from Ubon to Sukhotai, from Chiang Rai to Songkhla.

Those who observe and discuss relevant flaws in Thai society are often well-travelled within the country, have gathered hands-on experience, developed various relationships in all sorts of circumstances and over sufficient time to actually know what they're talking about.

[Notable]

You wouldn't get a job with the company I do most of my work for unless you'd studied a 4 year degree. But if you're content with your achievements, that's what matters. My comments are relevant to the OP, but you obviously feel happier venting negative stereotypes about Thais. Good luck with that, Mr happy.

[forumuser10]

I suspect most women from any culture in the world would say you've just described a "typical" male, irrespective of race.

Yes so true.

OP imagine your own home country, it was invaded by guys from another country who had a salary 15 times you and your friends salary, and these guys, was struttin around, arm in arm, with your local chicks, it would not take long before many of, if not you, many other males in your city would show aggression towards these men. And add on top of that, many of these rich men, you walked arm in aem with your local chicks, would also look down on you, and treat you like a monkey...

I am actually amazed how much Thai men put up with us and our snobbish attitude towards many of them

Edited February 6, 2014 by forumuser10

[Notable]

Forumuser10 you are correct, the truth is that many ex-pats view themselves as being superior to Thais. Financially and intellectually. They forget that this isn't their country and they need to change their own attitudes to accommodate accordingly. Historical British men abroad have always been known for this kind of attitude, hence our bad reputation. The OP displays all the character traits of your average typical arrogant interloper.

[OumarhindaOunsingha]

I tend to go against most of the answers here, and somewhat agree with the OP. Yes, people are so different, and there are really lots of nice Thai people here. But I have to say that I too have been thinking about the issue of repressed anger in the population as well as where it comes from, what creates it. Whether it is something subconscious due to a deep feeling of inferiority (essentially GDPs of the world)? Althought I really love Thais, I often see this repressed anger - then sometimes getting out of the person...not always a nice sight! I think the OP has some valid points, although we should always be careful about stereotyping.

[kagan]

Thank god for this post, TV was getting a little boring. These comments and this thread is exactly why TV is awesome

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Notable]

If the OP is from the UK (I think so) and he was still there, what would he think if Polish people were posting negative stereotypes about Brits? I'm sure the words 'go' and 'home' would be in his mind.