Dating a Thai girl

[y2k]

""And I mean dating not just the other stuff. There's a girl I like in Thailand and I like spending time with her. She is talkative and interesting and we can share our thoughts on a variety of subjects. If I were to suggest that we hang out for dinner or a movie how do you think that would be taken - would she be offended that I didn't want her just for the sex?""

What a stupid question !!

Careful - you're repeating yourself.

[mrowe1973]

Your a customer if she is a bar girl. The only reason she even talks to you is because you pay her. If you don't pay her she will move on to the next customer.

[y2k]

Appreciate your view (and it's YOU'RE).

[canman]

So is she a bar girl or not?

Your statement "would she be offended that I didn't want her just for the sex?" tends to indicate she is a bar girl.

If she is a not a bar girl but is an "average" thai girl then your question above indicates that you do not understand thai women at all.

[gandalf12]

I think Y2K needs to get away from the bars and find out about the real Thai culture........it will be an eye opener for him

[y2k]

She is a bar girl. I don't profess to understand Thai girls but I wish to (trolls permitting).

[y2k]

I think Y2K needs to get away from the bars and find out about the real Thai culture........it will be an eye opener for him

I'd love to but I don't live there (yet). I was hoping for good advice from you peeps.

[canman]

She is a bar girl. I don't profess to understand Thai girls but I wish to (trolls permitting).

Just go for it then. You will never know till you try. Take her out for lunch, treat her with respect and you should soon be able to work out if there is any future.

[mrowe1973]

I think Y2K needs to get away from the bars and find out about the real Thai culture........it will be an eye opener for him

I'd love to but I don't live there (yet). I was hoping for good advice from you peeps.

She is a bar girl and you don't live there yet? Do you know what is doing while your away? Having sex for money and talking to 20 other guys. I hope your not sending her money!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[shanetownsend]

Let me guess, you met a bar girl on holidays and you spent the night with her, and now you are keeping in contact with her and no doubt sending her some cash. Not uncommon but stupid, cause she will be getting cash from 10 other fools and she will plan each of their holidays not to coincide with each other.

[shaurene]

Meaning a friend comes along for the free meal? I wouldn't mind that but I know her and that isn't likely. Would she want to be paid for spending time with me?

Paid to come with you ??? Depends really where she works. Just ask her if she would come out to dinner with you and take it from there, do not go into the " I not want you for sex only" take her out and enjoy she will know as it goes on if you are only after sex, if you go out a few times she may get concerned and ask you why you not want sex, just tell her your like her very much.

[y2k]

I think Y2K needs to get away from the bars and find out about the real Thai culture........it will be an eye opener for him

I'd love to but I don't live there (yet). I was hoping for good advice from you peeps.

She is a bar girl and you don't live there yet? Do you know what is doing while your away? Having sex for money and talking to 20 other guys. I hope your not sending her money!

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Of course I'm not sending money but I understand that some guys do.

I met her last time I was there and intend to keep in touch with a view to getting to know her better next time (if there is a next time).

I'm under no illusions here and know full well she is a working girl. But you know how your heart can often rule your head.

[NoshowJones]

Meaning a friend comes along for the free meal? I wouldn't mind that but I know her and that isn't likely. Would she want to be paid for spending time with me?

Not just the free meal, but her friend would probably want to have some sex as well.

And yes, as most people would probably want to be paid for spending time with you...

Your last sentence, most people???? Let's assume you are not talking about bargirls. It's the easiest thing in the world to get friendly with Thai girls and to ask them out, look around the market sellers, shopgirls, etc. As long as you are presentable, well dressed, not overweight, covered in tattoos, you will have no problem, I know from experience, and none of them will be wanting paid. just pay for the meals, transport.

[hawthorne]

Are you in LOS on your high school break? First of all if real topic seek a friend if you have one. Secondly talk to your friend and discuss not an open forum where you get it all like from me who thinks you are an immature twit.

[HeavyDrinker]

At least she didn't morph into a super "Hi So Educated lass from one of the best families in Thailand". These 'help with dating' threads tend to be trolls wanting to tell the world they've got an imaginary non hooker wife/GF.

[y2k]

Are you in LOS on your high school break? First of all if real topic seek a friend if you have one. Secondly talk to your friend and discuss not an open forum where you get it all like from me who thinks you are an immature twit.

I bet you make friends easily.

[MyFriend You]

Meaning a friend comes along for the free meal? I wouldn't mind that but I know her and that isn't likely. Would she want to be paid for spending time with me?

Of course, money talks and BS walks in this country..........your subject implies you are 'dating' if she is a bar girl it is hardly a 'date' in the normal sense because you need to pay the bar fine, as well as the time, not doing that gets her in trouble with the bar - maybe you should elaborate.........then we can gi ve our honest opinion.

[y2k]

Meaning a friend comes along for the free meal? I wouldn't mind that but I know her and that isn't likely. Would she want to be paid for spending time with me?

Of course, money talks and BS walks in this country..........your subject implies you are 'dating' if she is a bar girl it is hardly a 'date' in the normal sense because you need to pay the bar fine, as well as the time, not doing that gets her in trouble with the bar - maybe you should elaborate.........then we can gi ve our honest opinion.

I meant dating her during her free time before she goes to work.

[ghworker2010]

are you gay?

[y2k]

Are you helping?

[elliottm]

Depends, if she's legit and has a traditional upbringing she may appreciate you not expecting sex, if she anticipates future subsidies for herself and extended family she may worry that you will turn to other ladies.

[sirchai]

Meaning a friend comes along for the free meal? I wouldn't mind that but I know her and that isn't likely. Would she want to be paid for spending time with me?

What a question. Have you ever had a girl friend before? Sad that Sigmund Freud had to leave us-

Edited February 13, 2014 by sirchai

[Morakot]

Seeking prostitutes merely for companionship is not unheard of. Expect that you still have to pay in some form or another.

Surely it's none of my business, but have you tried to meet someone outside the world of sex work?

Edited February 13, 2014 by Morakot

[y2k]

Absolutely.

[Wat dee]

Just keep paying for it...

[JustmeFW]

If you go to the bar and "barfine" her,

I'm pretty sure she will expect to get a good tip at the end of the night...

denying her that, might not be in your best interest.

[Starre]

Gees, some of the responses are a bit rough on Y2K. I think he may not have had as much experience in LOS as some veterans but he's not a troll and just wants to know what's the protocol for dating a bargirl outside of the bar. Frankly I think many members of this site would have been there.

@Y2K

If you and this girl get along well, there's no harm in asking her out and having a good time outside of her work. You will not have to pay her by the hour if she genuinely likes you and is interested in you. Some of these girls want to meet decent guys instead of the no hopers that hang out around motorcycle stands in the villages. If it's just about the money, she will let you know in her own way - either you will not get a 2nd date, she will avoid you or she will blatantly ask for money. If you want to take her away from the bar during her working hours ie. Holiday in another city for a few nights, the bar who employs her will expect to be compensated and they will more than likely keep something of hers to ensure she returns.

A word of warning though, remember these girls are an income source to the bar and it doesn't pay the bar or the girl for them to be falling for customers. Therefore the bar and other girls in the scene will try to brainwash her in their ways as much as possible ie, Every customer is a mark and play them for everything they've got. Hopefully for your sake, this hasn't already happened. And also remember more experienced bargirls are experts in playing their marks - mostly you won't know it's even happening until you're totally hooked. Try to remain partially objective without being a dick about it and look for the lies and inconsistencies - there will always be some lies from any Thai girl, that's just them, but it depends on the intent, seriousness of the lie and the reasons behind it eg Unscrupulous family member pushing her for $$$ since they found out she was dating an ATM with penis

If your relationship goes further, I would suggest reading as much as humanly possible on Thai-Farang relationships and what is expected of you in the long term by not only her but her family. As you probably already know, a Thai girl's family is paramount to them and how you relate to them, handle their demands & inevitable crisis' will be a large part of any relationship you may strike up with her.

Lastly a lot of bargirls don't want to keep being a bargirl as a career choice for the rest of their lives. They are there out of financial necessity more than often to the family. It is a very sad part of Thai culture where the senior members of the family knowingly sell their daughters into prostitution. If the pair of you can form a good partnership to move her existence forward, then there is always a chance you could be happy in future.

I know there seems to be a lot of contradictory stuff in what I've written but ultimately you have to be the judge since you are the one who knows her. Good luck.

[spermwhale]

Troll

Tend to agree...acts as if he's never been kissed.

Actually I just read it again. He is talking about a bar girl. Wanting to take her out as a friend, not for sex. He is asking does he need to pay her for this companionship.

OP very quickly get down to a book shop and buy a copy of Private Dancer by Stephen Leather. Read it, understand it..... Then read it again!

You're really reading in between the lines. No part of this thread says she is a bar girl. This is a stupid post and shouldn't even be on this site. Give me a break.

[HeavyDrinker]

She may actually enjoy being taken out and having some personal interaction and not just being treated like a piece of meat by some sweating, slobbering pervert old enough to be her grandfather and probably tipping the scales a few KG short of a baby elephant. Who knows? She may decide to ''reward'' you in her own way (or har pal may, or if you're super lucky, the pair of them will!!) you may be onto something here laddie.....

Her time is after all, her time, and I've never met a lass who'll turn down a free feed, but just watch out for piss taking and unexpected 'guests' and 'brothers'' turning up uninvited (by you) out of the blue....those bills can soon shoot up....

Make it clear to her beforehand that all you want is to take her and her pal out for a meal (no one else) and that you'll pay the bar (if needed) and make sure she gets home safe and sound. Spell it out beforehand totally and then you'll avoid any problems later on....maybe...

[y2k]

Troll

Tend to agree...acts as if he's never been kissed.

Actually I just read it again. He is talking about a bar girl. Wanting to take her out as a friend, not for sex. He is asking does he need to pay her for this companionship.

OP very quickly get down to a book shop and buy a copy of Private Dancer by Stephen Leather. Read it, understand it..... Then read it again!

You're really reading in between the lines. No part of this thread says she is a bar girl. This is a stupid post and shouldn't even be on this site. Give me a break.

Post #39 buddy.