Dating a Thai girl

[benj009]

Lol

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[smotherb]

What! You mean you're supposed to pay a girl for sex?

[HeavyDrinker]

Don't read any book. Go from, or create your own experiences, especially that Thailand Fever drivel or that utter dross from the Leather bloke...

[Skint]

I wouldn't bother taking her out for dinner just give her 500 baht and blooter yer load on her coopin, then on to the next

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[y2k]

I wouldn't bother taking her out for dinner just give her 500 baht and blooter yer load on her coopin, then on to the next

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You lost me at coopin.

[ericthai]

May do that. Takes a troll to know a troll but you're wrong.

Well your opening two posts were not very well thought out were they? If she works in a bar, you should have made that clear. Anyhow good luck to you.... Provided you read the book first!

And in answer to your questions. She could not care less about the sex, and, yes you will need to pay her for her time. Tread very very carefully..... Read the book!

Why would he have to pay her for her time? I have known many bars girls that we were just friends. I have gone out to dinner with them invited them and taken them to the beach, temples etc and never had sex with them nor had to pay them for their time. If really just friends then why would you need to have to pay for their time?

To the OP, just ask her out, a girl is a girl. If you go out for dinner and at the end of the night she is looking for money, then you know everything you need to know.

[y2k]

May do that. Takes a troll to know a troll but you're wrong.

Well your opening two posts were not very well thought out were they? If she works in a bar, you should have made that clear. Anyhow good luck to you.... Provided you read the book first!

And in answer to your questions. She could not care less about the sex, and, yes you will need to pay her for her time. Tread very very carefully..... Read the book!

Why would he have to pay her for her time? I have known many bars girls that we were just friends. I have gone out to dinner with them invited them and taken them to the beach, temples etc and never had sex with them nor had to pay them for their time. If really just friends then why would you need to have to pay for their time?

To the OP, just ask her out, a girl is a girl. If you go out for dinner and at the end of the night she is looking for money, then you know everything you need to know.

Makes sense to me.

[canman]

What! You mean you're supposed to pay a girl for sex?

No; the sex is free, you pay her to leave.

[iancnx]

What! You mean you're supposed to pay a girl for sex?

No; the sex is free, you pay her to leave.

Or as I said earlier, taxi's can at times be quite expensive around breakfast time. 2000 or 3000 baht. Lol

[NanLaew]

I wouldn't bother taking her out for dinner just give her 500 baht and blooter yer load on her coopin, then on to the next

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You lost me at coopin.

It's your load pal, so blooter it wherever you want. Up 2 u as she would they say.

[Absolut]

May do that. Takes a troll to know a troll but you're wrong.

Well your opening two posts were not very well thought out were they? If she works in a bar, you should have made that clear. Anyhow good luck to you.... Provided you read the book first!

And in answer to your questions. She could not care less about the sex, and, yes you will need to pay her for her time. Tread very very carefully..... Read the book!

Why would he have to pay her for her time? I have known many bars girls that we were just friends. I have gone out to dinner with them invited them and taken them to the beach, temples etc and never had sex with them nor had to pay them for their time. If really just friends then why would you need to have to pay for their time?

To the OP, just ask her out, a girl is a girl. If you go out for dinner and at the end of the night she is looking for money, then you know everything you need to know.

All well and good if you just happen to want friendship but I get the impression the OP is looking for something more than that and if that's the case going down the bar girl road is like any thai road, extremely dangerous.

BG's are, and can be very friendly outside of working hours but inside of those hours they are on the job and would most likely expect payment for their time. If sex happens at the end so be it, that's not a person is paying for.

For the OP, bar girls can weave a spell on many an unsuspecting suitor, sounds like this one is doing so to you but you need to stop and think, do you really want a future with a girl who has done this for a living, been with hundreds of guys and will more than likely have the mental scars that go with having performed this kind of work? Everyone deserves a chance at happiness but the BG as a partner relationship tends to have many more obstacles to deal with than even a nice thai girl one does.

If you want a thai girl and are doing it from o/s then try the online dating sites, there's still sharks in them but there's also a ton of great girls who won't lie to you constantly, and see you as a walking ATM.

[iancnx]

May do that. Takes a troll to know a troll but you're wrong.

Well your opening two posts were not very well thought out were they? If she works in a bar, you should have made that clear. Anyhow good luck to you.... Provided you read the book first!

And in answer to your questions. She could not care less about the sex, and, yes you will need to pay her for her time. Tread very very carefully..... Read the book!

Why would he have to pay her for her time? I have known many bars girls that we were just friends. I have gone out to dinner with them invited them and taken them to the beach, temples etc and never had sex with them nor had to pay them for their time. If really just friends then why would you need to have to pay for their time?

To the OP, just ask her out, a girl is a girl. If you go out for dinner and at the end of the night she is looking for money, then you know everything you need to know.

All well and good if you just happen to want friendship but I get the impression the OP is looking for something more than that and if that's the case going down the bar girl road is like any thai road, extremely dangerous.

BG's are, and can be very friendly outside of working hours but inside of those hours they are on the job and would most likely expect payment for their time. If sex happens at the end so be it, that's not a person is paying for.

For the OP, bar girls can weave a spell on many an unsuspecting suitor, sounds like this one is doing so to you but you need to stop and think, do you really want a future with a girl who has done this for a living, been with hundreds of guys and will more than likely have the mental scars that go with having performed this kind of work? Everyone deserves a chance at happiness but the BG as a partner relationship tends to have many more obstacles to deal with than even a nice thai girl one does.

If you want a thai girl and are doing it from o/s then try the online dating sites, there's still sharks in them but there's also a ton of great girls who won't lie to you constantly, and see you as a walking ATM.

+1. OP, absolut is bang on here, especially his last paragraph!

[djhotsox]

May do that. Takes a troll to know a troll but you're wrong.

Well your opening two posts were not very well thought out were they? If she works in a bar, you should have made that clear. Anyhow good luck to you.... Provided you read the book first!

And in answer to your questions. She could not care less about the sex, and, yes you will need to pay her for her time. Tread very very carefully..... Read the book!

Why would he have to pay her for her time? I have known many bars girls that we were just friends. I have gone out to dinner with them invited them and taken them to the beach, temples etc and never had sex with them nor had to pay them for their time. If really just friends then why would you need to have to pay for their time?

To the OP, just ask her out, a girl is a girl. If you go out for dinner and at the end of the night she is looking for money, then you know everything you need to know.

Makes sense to me.

And me. Or as I said in my post, straight up ask her. I doubt she will feel insulted and then you both can enjoy your "date" without that big question mark hanging over your head!

[y2k]

I think I can get up the courage to do this but will it have any effect? Is she likely to think of it as nothing more than a precursor to sex back at my place so will just go with the flow and pretend to be enjoying it?

[djhotsox]

Much as I enjoy sex there is more to life than posting about it on ThaiVisa. I am looking for that elusive relationship with someone I care about and finding that girl isn't always that easy. I asked the original question to gauge public (?) opinion before making an asshol_e of myself. I realise that the posters here are not necessarily a good sample of decent people (no offence intended to those with good intent) but I couldn't see any other way of asking the question.

555+ LMFAO

This post is rich. Really something. Where do I begin? OK, well, here's ten things that come to mind:

1) Your OP states "She is talkative and interesting and we can share our thoughts on a variety of subjects." -----really? Now unless you are fluent in Thai your conversations must be at the intellectual level or equivalent of an 8 year old. It is impossible to have a meaningful conversation with a bar girl in Thailand. Period.

2) Why on earth would you take a girl on a date, any girl, and not want to dip your fingers in the honey pot at the end of the night? Isn't that the point of "dating"?

3) If you are dumb enough to date a bar girl just expect that she will lie to you. And lie to you. And lie to you. And lie to you. (sounding like a good relationship to begin huh?)

4) She will have two days per month off to spend with you......or travel to see her family. Other days you will have to pay her bar fine to see her. If she is with you, she is not with another customer. She will expect you to pay her. She can not date you in the daytime, that is when she sleeps!

​5) Expect that she will lie to you. And lie to you. And lie to you.

6) She WILL ask you for money. (I have yet to meet a Thai girl who hasn't hit me up for money, even my dam_n security guard (female) downstairs! 555)

7) Sex or no sex, she will expect a tip. The tip should be the same in either case. She will tire of your "dating" very quickly if she is not gaining financially from it unless she sees you as a genuine future spouse in which case your troubles have only begun my friend. I'm sorry.

8) She will have other boyfriends. Men will likely send her money and call at odd hours. Expect it. And if she is really cute, expect it often!

9) If I didn't mention it before, she will lie to you. And lie to you. And lie to you.

10) Do not lend her money, unless of course in your heart you feel the need to give to charity because you will never see it again. Ever.

The obvious thing to do IMO is straight up ask her! If she is working in a bar there is likely very little you could come up with, say or do, that would possibly offend her! That would clear the air likely for you both and save you from unwanted embarrassment at the end of the night when she's waiting for her tip and cab fare home!

Good luck mate. But take it for what it is. Thailand.

I make that 8 points because you cheated and repeated point 3. Anyway points noted though I do think point 1 is unfair where you regard all Thai girls as having little or no English skills. Surely we don't have to stoop that low. If anything your points bring me down crashing to realise that nearly everyone has a stereotypical view of Thai bar girls. Maybe I was under a spell.

OK, well for starters, I did not cheat. I said here are ten things that come to mind. As I made my list, and I got to number 5, it came to mind again, so I included it. And again at number 9, it came to mind again, so once again I included it. I didn't say here are ten "different" things that come to mind. I wrote down what I thought at the time of writing. I did question myself as to whether or not I should include it again but as it is so prevalent in their behaviour I figured mentioning it three times would hit this point home to you, but I guess it didn't.

So please don't insult me by calling me a "cheater" as you will find in Thailand there are many "grey" areas and many things left open for interpretation.

And point 1 was not unfair. Fair. (Unfair? Cheater? wow, if you're having trouble with me, wait til you deal with your Thai gf when things get lost in translation! )

You misread. I did not say all Thai girls have little or no English skills........I said "a bar girl in Thailand".........they don't. 99.9999% don't. (That's 1 in a million if ya do the math.)

And it's not a knock against the girls! I love them too much I do! Do you or any of your friends speak Thai? Probably not. But you are educated are you not? From a good family/up-bringing? And in Thailand....why you not speak Thai? ........the point I am making here is that they are not stupid because they don't speak English (or another language), they simply would never have had a chance or opportunity to use it ever in their lives. What they know they know from the bar or from ex-bf's or possibly tv/movie with subtitles.

Stoop that low? Didn't.... I'm gonna pass up on this comment and keep on topic.

I am sorry to bring you crashing down if that is what I've done, and my view is not really "stereotypical" as I am speaking from experience. Things I have witnessed over my 16+ years of coming to this country. I personally know bar owners and mama-sans (yes I have a friend who is actually a mama-san) and have met thousands of bar girls, I have stories that you would not believe. Yes, there is always and exception to the rule but they are very very rare.

I'm not saying that you can't go out and have a good time with great conversation and witty banter (?) with no strings and no money attached with this girl or any bar girl. I am just saying that it is highly unlikely and likely not the relationship that you think it will be. Do ya really want to fall for a girl who has got someone else's dick in her every night? If you're fine with that, then no worries. Have fun. If not, be prepared to financially take care of her to get her out of the bar. If a friendship is all that comes of it then great, maybe you can both learn from each other and become better people for it. Nothing wrong in that.

I was just hoping to shed some light on the nature of bar girls in Thailand. Seen too many honest kind hearted guys burned over the years. You want to believe them. You want to love them. You wish you could solve their problems and take care of them. But ......

YES, you are under a spell. As are so many! Every night I go out in Thailand I fall in love all over again! (Great isn't it?!) Just have to learn to be cautious and realistic.

I hope you do prove me wrong and your girl is different than the rest. Please PM me if ya do, I like happy endings.

BTW.....do you know how to tell when a bar girl IS lying to you?

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her lips are moving

[djhotsox]

I think I can get up the courage to do this but will it have any effect? Is she likely to think of it as nothing more than a precursor to sex back at my place so will just go with the flow and pretend to be enjoying it?

Dude, ya know I should have answered your OP differently from the beginning and said ."Yes! she will be offended if you don't want her just for sex!" 555

As the girls here say...."don't think too much!"

I'm starting to wonder if your id here (y2k) is the year you were born?

Maybe at the end of the night she will be relieved she doesn't have to come f*** you? Or are you all that and a bag of chips?

Also, I haven't met many Thai girls that just go with the flow and pretend.....unless you are paying them! If she is unhappy about something and doesn't come right out and state it herself, at the very least she will pout until you finally ask her if something is wrong!

Get up the courage? Dude if you have trouble with confronting a bar girl then you have much bigger problems in your future to worry about lest you enjoy being walked upon by future employers, wives, business associates, colleagues, well, just about everyone!

You need some cojones my friend. If you have none, perhaps next time in Thailand ask a ladyboy if you can have his when (s)he is done with them!

[djhotsox]

Just keep paying for it...

Agreed.

You pay for it one way or the other. Better to do it up front!

I paid my first (ex) wife more money than I could ever possibly pay to prostitutes if I shag every day for the rest of my life!

[NanLaew]

I think I can get up the courage to do this but will it have any effect? Is she likely to think of it as nothing more than a precursor to sex back at my place so will just go with the flow and pretend to be enjoying it?

"... go with the flow and pretend to be enjoying it?"

Yes, just like posting on this forum seeking relationship advice eh?

[y2k]

What's wrong with that? I thought I would get some good advice. If you don't have any that's fine.

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[HeavyDrinker]

Any update pal? Hows it going? Are things progressing?

[arunsakda]

"would she be offended that I didn't want her just for the sex?"

Oh come on, seriously , who in the hell asks such dumb questions,

TROLL !

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Well I know a bar girl who I occasionally buy drinks for, just because she has been in the same spot for about 8 years.

Every time I see her she complains "Why you never take me?", and jealously reminds me of a random girl she saw me eating dinner with years ago.

The truth is I don't "take" any bar girls. And if I did I wouldn't "take" her because she was grossly unattractive 8 years ago, and looks all the worse now.

[y2k]

Any update pal? Hows it going? Are things progressing?

Thanks for asking. No update because I'm not in Thailand right now. I'm planning to go there in a few months work permitting. I was feeling down before with the uncertainty and all but some useful advice and comments here have made me stand up and look at things from a different and more realistic perspective for which I am very grateful.