How will your wife's life play out in your home country?

[searcherkind666]

MY Wife has been here in America for almost 10 years we travel to Thailand for winters when we can , my friends and family think she is and amazing woman , she has adapted to American culture perfectly and loves living here and she brings a bit of thai culture and foods, thai massage that everyone enjoys and respects . she has a weakness for American doughnuts and had to try every flavor . lucky am I . but she does miss her roasted bugs but I don't : )

[sami10]

Fifthcolumn

The only thing I can say is move back only if you, as a couple, feel that you would be better off in the US. If you do come back, find a place where there is a Thai community for your wife to lean on and socialize with. Will you wife be happy here? Not if she's lonely.

My wife came here for grad school in '88 and has lived and worked here since. Every time we go to Thailand, I realize how hard it would be for me to live and work there. I'm pretty sure I couldn't deal with working in Thailand. Yet my wife has built a life here. Would she like to go back to Thailand? Absolutely. Will she? Yep, when she retires with a pension and a hefty bank account. Ideally, at that point we'll split our time between the US and Thailand. Then we'll see how well I'll do.

[Rockhopper]

Don't worry about health insurance, ObamaCare will take care of you.

[Emster23]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

Are you SERIOUS?! WAAAAY more crime in the US than Thailand, hands-down! Thailand is one of the safest places I've been...and Bangkok is hands-down the safest large city on the planet...no place even comes close.

Thailand: 20k murders with firearms, USA: 9.3K

Thailand 41 homicides per 100k, USA 9.1 per 100k

Reported crimes can be a problem, because many crimes are "taken care of" with tea money in Thailand, whereas to try that in USA is a (Ta Da!) crime....

This comparison is interesting, at least to me anyway... http://www.nationmaster.com/compare/Thailand/United-States/Crime

[crazydrummerpauly]

"Die at 90" .. bloody hell, you're optimistic ! I know we are living longer overall, but that's just a generalisation - many many of us fail to make it past 75. I wouldn't PLAN to be around until 90, that's all.

[crazydrummerpauly]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

I would say there is much, much more crime in the UK (I cannot refer to other countries) than in Thailand. For one thing, I can walk the streets in safety here.

Dream on...

[NoshowJones]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

I would say there is much, much more crime in the UK (I cannot refer to other countries) than in Thailand. For one thing, I can walk the streets in safety here.

Dream on...

Dream on?? Maybe you can't walk the streets in safety here, would that be because you have had too much to drink? Or you don't know how to avoid what could be a tricky situation? Keep sober, mind your own business, don't walk about in certain places in the early hours. Stick to that, and you will be 99.9% safe here.

[wym]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

I would say there is much, much more crime in the UK (I cannot refer to other countries) than in Thailand. For one thing, I can walk the streets in safety here.

Dream on...

100% with Possum on this one comparing to US cities.

I had a secondary SO had a house in the middle of the Klong Toey slums and never felt unsafe whatever time walking the alleyways, even got to know some of the glue-sniffing gang kids never a spot of trouble.

Petty thievery sure but violence mugging never heard of it other than brawling related to girls, gambling, drugs or the bar scene, and that IMO is self-inflicted just as often from farang whackos.

Away from the touristed areas I've never lived in a safer country wrt street crime.

Edited February 14, 2014 by wym

[recycler]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Most Thai food is stir fried in a few minutes, take the washing, cutting and seasoning and it can't be more than half an hour add the dish washing... you don't have a machine for that?

You better check what she does the other 4 hours!

[khunpa]

Considering the "roller coaster" life I have had so far, I have given up planning much ahead and instead live very much on a day to day basis.

However, one thing I know for sure, is that my girlfriend will never go to live in my home country. This was basically the first thing she told me when dating and the only thing, I know she will not change her mind on. And I actually fully understand her. She is at home here in Thailand and has her businesses, which is a huge part of her identity and life.

If she ever went to my home country to live, I am pretty sure she would feel horrible and annoyed that she would have to start all over again. I know some Thai-women find it okay and is able to adjust in other countries, but I know mine would not. So we will stay here in Thailand until we both die and I am actually happy knowing that.

[HardenedSoul]

OP appears to know exactly when he's going to die.

[IAMSOBAD]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Shes a brat...like a child.

You should trade up to a new model.

Hard to blame someone for their dietary preferences.

I think Iamsobad is referring to being yelled at, not the fact he sometimes buys her Farang food. I have been with Mrs Possum now for eight years, we have had very few ups and downs, and I certainly do not ever recall her yelling at me. I will never accept anyone yelling at me, and I try my hardest not to give them reason to.

EXACTLY!!!

It doesn't matter to me what your wife eats. It's that you let her yell at you and treat you like an ATM.

We all know you are the money half of the equation.

That makes her a brat.

When in Rome eat Italian...Spain tapas...japan eat sushi.

But refusing and yelling is really pathetic and selfish.

[farang000999]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Most Thai food is stir fried in a few minutes, take the washing, cutting and seasoning and it can't be more than half an hour add the dish washing... you don't have a machine for that?

You better check what she does the other 4 hours!

Some people eat more than one stir fried dish per meal and some people eat more than one meal per day... She says the machine is noisy and doesn't clean the dishes well enough. Five hours may have been an exaggeration but she definitely spends a lot of time in the kitchen. Also, you do realize that not all Thai meals are quickly stir fried... How long do you think it takes to make khao mon gai along with the soup and her own dipping sauce and then wash all the pots pans dishes blender mortar clean the stove etc... 30 minutes? And then what is for lunch and dinner?

Edited February 14, 2014 by farang000999

[farang000999]

It doesn't matter to me what your wife eats. It's that you let her yell at you and treat you like an ATM.

I think you are projecting your own insecurities onto me. My wife runs her own business.

[farang000999]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

I would say there is much, much more crime in the UK (I cannot refer to other countries) than in Thailand. For one thing, I can walk the streets in safety here.

Dream on...

100% with Possum on this one comparing to US cities.

I had a secondary SO had a house in the middle of the Klong Toey slums and never felt unsafe whatever time walking the alleyways, even got to know some of the glue-sniffing gang kids never a spot of trouble.

Petty thievery sure but violence mugging never heard of it other than brawling related to girls, gambling, drugs or the bar scene, and that IMO is self-inflicted just as often from farang whackos.

Away from the touristed areas I've never lived in a safer country wrt street crime.

Guesthouse had a good topic/post about this. Many farang are totally clueless with regards to their perceptions about crime/violence in Thailand.

[Loles]

You die when you are 90 ..... Man, you are very very optimist! And what is your plan for the last 10 years ?

[IAMSOBAD]

It doesn't matter to me what your wife eats. It's that you let her yell at you and treat you like an ATM.

I think you are projecting your own insecurities onto me. My wife runs her own business.

I have No insecurities.

You are the one going on a public forum claiming your wife spends all day in the kitchen making herself only Thai food and when YOU speak up she YELLS at you.

Grow a pair or keep your married life out of the public eye.

Good luck and enjoy your wife and her business and all the spoils. You deserve it. Now go pay some attention to her and stay off your damn computer for five minutes. Happy Valentine's Day from all us men to her.

[Munger]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

I would say there is much, much more crime in the UK (I cannot refer to other countries) than in Thailand. For one thing, I can walk the streets in safety here.

RUBBISH, more in LOS for sure.

[sirineou]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

My wife eats mostly Thai food also, Lucky for as we have Two Asian markets with in 5 miles from our home, and good for me I love Thai food.

Western food is difficult for them,they are used to spicy food with a lot of flavor, My wife always complains that the food I make has no taste, and I can understand that.

Spicy food with a lot of flavor? Just throw fish sauce and a kilo of chillis into any food.

Thai food is the laziest cooking in the world. 5 mins and its all done...

Maybe your wife is hinting at your cooking skills...

Though I am willing to admite that my cooking skills need improvement, to say the least.

I do take her to many different restaurants of different national foods, and the result is always the same.

Me:did you like the food honey?

Wife politely: it was very good,

Me: so why you don't eat very much

Wife politely: Not very hungry.

Me exited: So we come here again?

Wife hesitantly: aahhhhh... No!

We have a large circle of Thai friends here, and I have noticed the same with all the Thai ladies. I think the spicy food has desensitized them to a certain degree, and that there might be a genetic component that makes western food unpalatable to them. If you are interested, do a Google search on"Genetic component of taste".

On the subject of US compatibility with immigrant assimilation, and safety that others have raised, I think it is important to make the following distinctions.

Firstly the US is a very big country, with different States, and different communities with in those states, and many of this different localities differ from each other, as day and night. As such making sweeping generalizations, can only prove false.

In my Florida home, I don't think I have ever locked a vehicle in my driveway,and my home is always unlocked during the day. Something that I would not dream of doing in my New York home.

Second, The US is an Immigrant country, and as such it has a long history, and infrastructure to accommodate immigrants, For the most part, First generation immigrants assimilate to a certain degree, but also keep some of their culture intact. As I said plenty of Thai friends to socialise with, Plenty of Asian markets to get the food they desire, A thai temple within short driving distance.

And an important distinction, here in the US, within a short time, she can be an American just like every one else, Something that can never happen for as in Thailand, and for them in many other countries.

I know many Thais here that have no plans to ever go back, and I am sure that many, after living here for so long, when they do go back, might find it difficult to reintegrate.

[HooHaa]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Shes a brat...like a child.

You should trade up to a new model.

Hard to blame someone for their dietary preferences.

it most certainly is if they are being obtuse.

dietary preferences are just that, preferences. If someone is unwilling to make adjustments they are just being stubborn. It shows an unwillingness to make an effort.

I dont mind people who try something and decide its not for them, it is the people who are unwilling to even try something different i have no patience for.

my mother always used to say "what the farmer doesn't know, he doesn't eat".

rather poignant in this case i would venture

[nithisa78]

I am relying on the people I trust. Here in USA and Thailand. Trying to prepare everything that would make it easy for all parties concerned. No matter how many years the Mrs. might be USA can clearly understand your concerns. Best of everything to you both. Have faith.

[sirineou]

Most Thais seem to be reasonably happy in the USA but my wife only eats Thai food and it can be very hard at times because she literally has to cook every single meal she eats so she spends 5 hours a day cooking and washing dishes. I try to buy her farang food every now and then and it usually results in me being yelled at.

Shes a brat...like a child.

You should trade up to a new model.

Hard to blame someone for their dietary preferences.

it most certainly is if they are being obtuse.

dietary preferences are just that, preferences. If someone is unwilling to make adjustments they are just being stubborn. It shows an unwillingness to make an effort.

I dont mind people who try something and decide its not for them, it is the people who are unwilling to even try something different i have no patience for.

my mother always used to say "what the farmer doesn't know, he doesn't eat".

rather poignant in this case i would venture

Though I agree with your statement about trying new things, What is it that makes you think Thai ladies don't like to try new things?

of the top of my head I can think Two new things they tried, One is you, and the other is America, so obviously they are willing to try new things.

As far as food is concerned, I know my wife tries new foods, I said so i my reply. She just does not like them.

[wym]

Willfully refusing to try anything new may be perceived as spoiled-childish and stubborn.

But it's still a perfectly valid choice, dietary preference.

As long as she lives with those choices and doesn't actively complain about the results, no problem, let her be.

Absolutely minor issue AFAIC, personally I don't eat farang food more than three or four times a year, not a problem.

[Kodan]

You really have no idea how tough these old thai women are. Find a 75 yr old thai woman and piss her off......you will quit worrying about your wife.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[NoshowJones]

I would think there was more crime in Thailand than the West.

I would say there is much, much more crime in the UK (I cannot refer to other countries) than in Thailand. For one thing, I can walk the streets in safety here.

RUBBISH, more in LOS for sure.

It's not rubbish, do you come from the UK? Did you ever live in the cities? London, Birmingham, Glasgow etc etc.

[krisb]

I'm going out west where I belong

Where the days are short and the nights are long...

Edited February 15, 2014 by krisb

[lucifer666]

I have to say that my Thai missus loves Western food but she does on the odd occasion try to impress me with her English culinary skills, She once made me fish and chips (with strawberry sauce) and one time, Muesli ( with Tomato sauce). Needles to say i ate both and said nothing. She didn't see me secretly vomiting later

Edited February 15, 2014 by lucifer666

[sirineou]

I'm going out west where I belong

Where the days are short and the nights are long...

But don't take your wife

'cause the nights are long

'she will nag you all night

and your peace will be gone

Wow we are poets

and we didn't even know it