ttthailand Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 There are so many TV topics about bar girls compared to normal girls, dating web sites, broken marriages, the topics go on and on. Everyone is trying to figure out how and where to find that perfect girl. Within these topics you read stories about successful relationships with bar girls and what you would think would be total disasters waiting to happen but turn out great. You also read stories about respectful, educated " normal" girls who turn into devils and rip the heart out and drain the bank account of there loving husband. Why do some if these disaster girls turn out wonderful and why do some of these wonderful girls turn out to be disasters? I think Love is the key ! But the secret is finding that girl that truly loves you and a girl who you truly love. We know if we love someone but how do we know what their true feeling are? Is their love only based on money? Are you their last resort and a meal ticket ? Are you just one of many men in their lives? Finding girls in Thailand is not that difficult but once we find a girl that we truly love we need to make sure that the feeling is same. This i think is the key to all successful relationships, true love ! If love is the key what are the warning signs that her intentions are not honest and she does not really love you? Here are some of my ideas on things to look out for: • saying I love you, does she say it with feeling from her heart? If she can not tell you how she feels chances are she does not care. • does she tend to you when you are feeling sick? Basically, when you are in need is she there for you in a caring way or because she has to be. Or maybe she avoids the situation. • does she ever tell you she hates you or does not love you ? • does she hide you from her friends or family ? Shy of the relationship... • when she takes photos are you included in the pictures ? Does she post photos of only her or are you included? What are other signs to look out for? How do you know if she is only playing with you and not serious ? Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Someone (a character played by Jack Nicholson, possibly) once said to the question of how do you know if you are truly in love, "When the other person's happiness is essential to your own". I.e, you can not be happy if they are not happy. I suggest that goes both ways. My own observation is in the way she laughs (genuine laughter that is in the eyes), how often, and at what. Do you make her laugh (or at least smile broadly) with happiness just by you saying good morning to her? Does she laugh if you found the curry too hot or is she concerned that your mouth is burning? Remember, the eyes are the window to the soul. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsune Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Stopped reading at "Everyone is trying to figure out how and where to find that perfect girl" 1/ No I am not never will 2/ "Perfect" is a silly word to use for a partner, you don't want perfect, you want perfect FOR YOU 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If you are supporting her or does she pay her own way. That is a good one try withholding support for a while and see how that goes. Other remarks are quite good too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post umbanda Posted February 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 17, 2014 (edited) Easy... If you are living in Thailand for just few months and you find true love....or you got lucky or you do not know what is true love....This is Thailand, where TRUE love do not have the same meaning than in western cultures. Even say " I love you" do not have the same meaning or importance here... If you think you find TRUE love with a bar girl...the chances are that you are WRONG... If you are in a HURRY to find TRUE love..the chances are that you will find the WRONG one... I do not want to get long in this again....Take your time, go into the Internet and meet a LOT of women, for curiosity, for sex or for friendship....just meet, date a lot, and LEARN about Thai women before make your mind...On the Internet you have chances to meet ANY kind of women, bad women, good women, too young and too old, poor or even rich and cultured women looking just for a good partner or companion in life....Million of them... Why look in a bar???..are you a tourist looking for a few days of fun and un-healthy sex with professional liars? Edited February 17, 2014 by umbanda 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Stopped reading at "Everyone is trying to figure out how and where to find that perfect girl" 1/ No I am not never will 2/ "Perfect" is a silly word to use for a partner, you don't want perfect, you want perfect FOR YOU In my opinion there is no such thing as perfect... or maybe impossible to find. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoisyourdaddy Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I think the first sign is if she actually listens when you speak and pays any attention. Example, i was spending time with someone i liked(note liked) and during one conversation i told her my mother died few months ago and father dying as we speak. Her response was "hmmm" ie no response. At this stage i knew she could not care less and/or was not even listening. What did i expect? at least a "sorry" or "you ok" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I know more cases from Europe than from Thailand where women take all the money from husbands after divorcing.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoisyourdaddy Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I know more cases from Europe than from Thailand where women take all the money from husbands after divorcing.... If Thai women knew how or had the funds for lawyers, they would do the same here also. PS, There is not much to take from someone who does not have much and lives off pension 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steven100 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I know it's true love because .... I hear ' I lub you too mut ' everyday she doesn't know what a sick buffalo looks like her mobile keeps ringing because it's faulty and needs repairing She's never had a farang bf before The only reason she gets back early morning some nights is because work asked her to stay back She is so honest to me, she tells me not to come to thailand some times because mama is sick and she take care She cares for papa so much , I send some money but the tractor broken so can i send again 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tmymaimee Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I know it's true love because .... I hear ' I lub you too mut ' everyday she doesn't know what a sick buffalo looks like her mobile keeps ringing because it's faulty and needs repairing She's never had a farang bf before The only reason she gets back early morning some nights is because work asked her to stay back She is so honest to me, she tells me not to come to thailand some times because mama is sick and she take care She cares for papa so much , I send some money but the tractor broken so can i send again Don't give up your day job. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 what an utterly stupid question. you are aware that all people are different right? there is no pat answer. why would think there was? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ttthailand Posted February 17, 2014 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 17, 2014 I guess a sure sign from a bg that she not really love you (hahaha) is when she asks for her third drink before you have finished your first Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somsrisonphimai Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Stopped reading at "Everyone is trying to figure out how and where to find that perfect girl" 1/ No I am not never will 2/ "Perfect" is a silly word to use for a partner, you don't want perfect, you want perfect FOR YOU In my opinion there is no such thing as perfect... or maybe impossible to find. What are you talking about? I am perfect, 555. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 what an utterly stupid question. you are aware that all people are different right? there is no pat answer. why would think there was? Did some of my questions hit home ? Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxclever Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 (edited) I think the first sign is if she actually listens when you speak and pays any attention. Example, i was spending time with someone i liked(note liked) and during one conversation i told her my mother died few months ago and father dying as we speak. Her response was "hmmm" ie no response. At this stage i knew she could not care less and/or was not even listening. What did i expect? at least a "sorry" or "you ok" Sorry but am I reading your post right? Your Father is dying and you are in Thailand chatting up birds? (I'm assuming you're talking about girls in Thailand) Yes she sounds selfish but mate... Edited February 17, 2014 by Boxclever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chrisinth Posted February 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 17, 2014 Any girl who says she loves you after one, long meaningful overnight relationship, needs to be treated with the utmost caution................. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Somsrisonphimai Posted February 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted February 17, 2014 When a woman loves a man, she will stand by him when he lost his job and has no dime in his pocket. She forgives him for the things he has done wrong. She will be his biggest fan when everyone else doubts him. She will work with him and not work against him. When he hurts, she hurts even more. That is how you can tell if she loves him! Action speaks louder than word. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisinth Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 (edited) Somsrisonphimai, on 17 Feb 2014 - 13:36, said:Quote When a woman loves a man, she will stand by him when he lost his job and has no dime in his pocket. She forgives him for the things he has done wrong. She will be his biggest fan when everyone else doubts him. She will work with him and not work against him. When he hurts, she hurts even more. That is how you can tell if she loves him! Action speaks louder than word. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand And she will never, ever, ever let him forget his mistakes................... Make sure he is paying attention for the rest of his natural..................... Edit: However, mine is different, as she also lets me do what I want when she wants. Things aren't all bad...................... Edited February 17, 2014 by chrisinth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 The man that can figure out a woman hasnt been born yet ! Many have tried, even more have failed, but its great fun trying ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoisyourdaddy Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I think the first sign is if she actually listens when you speak and pays any attention. Example, i was spending time with someone i liked(note liked) and during one conversation i told her my mother died few months ago and father dying as we speak. Her response was "hmmm" ie no response. At this stage i knew she could not care less and/or was not even listening. What did i expect? at least a "sorry" or "you ok" Sorry but am I reading your post right? Your Father is dying and you are in Thailand chatting up birds? (I'm assuming you're talking about girls in Thailand) Yes she sounds selfish but mate... Yes you are reading right, just not thinking while reading Not that i need to explain myself, but it might make you sleep better 1. I live in Thailand 2. I do not speak with birds, i am sane. 3. In case you missed it, i was out on a date with a FEMALE 3. I have not seen my father for over 30 years and hardly know him 4. Point of the post was, it is not relevant what my relationship with my father is, what is relevant is that she was not interested in my personal life at all or she was not even listening at all. Actions speak louder than words and if one uses head above the shoulder then her real intentions are pretty clear and all the signs are there. Now that you have been informed, i can only hope you can rest easy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 (edited) Regarding all the OP`s questions, it depends on people`s life experience and how good they are at judging people and their true feelings and intentions. Not only in Thailand, but everywhere. The problem is that some guys like to live in a make believe fairy tale land, switching themselves off from the realities of a situation and trying to live a dream making themselves oblivious to how it really is. I have also found from my own experiences when associating with these types of guys, that these days I try to avoid and never become involved with, that it is impossible to reason with them until the last minute when living in the real world comes right back with a vengeance and smacks them in the face. Many years ago my then girlfriend and I broke up. I was told by my sister; not to worry as there are plenty of fish in the sea. But this is simply not true, as only rarely do we hook a prize catch. The art of finding a mate is being able to read that person and knowing if this is the right girl for you or not. Of course one man`s meat is another man`s poison, but they say there is someone out there for everybody, a soul mate and true love waiting to be found. In answer to the OP`s questions: you will know when you meet the right girl, seek and you will find, but be cautious on the way and use common sense. Edited February 17, 2014 by Beetlejuice 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geriatrickid Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 When a woman loves a man, she will stand by him when he lost his job and has no dime in his pocket. She forgives him for the things he has done wrong. She will be his biggest fan when everyone else doubts him. She will work with him and not work against him. When he hurts, she hurts even more. That is how you can tell if she loves him! Action speaks louder than word. Hmm. I read that as a woman staying with a loser. That's the opposite of the TVF recommendation for males of dumping someone as soon as there is a hint of trouble. Are the rules of engagement different for men and women? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 what an utterly stupid question. you are aware that all people are different right? there is no pat answer. why would think there was? Did some of my questions hit home ? Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app to the contrary, i am actually astonished an adult would need to ask such a question, especially of an internet forum. the naivete of it ll is quite alien alien to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n210mp Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Loving someone is not screwing someone else just because you can and not screwing around even though all the sexual bits,desires and fantasy's including peer pressure are working against you doing so. Loving someone is putting their desires, dreams and feelings before your own being loved is when you feel that your loved one does the same for you Loving someone is being tolerant and "quiet" when they are under the influences of the monthly cycle being loved is when you are ranting and raving and your partner just lets you get on with it without arguing Loving someone is wanting to be with them 24/7 being loved is when they also are happy to be in your company 24/7 Loving someone is putting all your addictions/obsessions on one side for the love of the person you say you love being loved is when you want to play golf and she understands, at least once a week that is! Loving someone is allowing them to have their own personality and character. Being loved is when she understands that as Westerner you also have idiosyncrasies Loving someone is doing your share of the household chores being loved is when she says "dont worry about washing up Darling I will do it" Loving someone is going to sleep with them in your arms even after the biggest row earlier in the day Being loved is going to bed after the biggest row earlier in the day and she still puts her arms round you and says "Goodnight Darling" Et al infinitum! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amykat Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I think the answer is, one never knows IF someone really loves you or not! They love you ...what most people seem to love is a package ...yes, they love your looks, they love your job/profession/status/education, they love your money or financial capabilities (not meaning you have to suppport them, they could be equal to you, but they love that you are also equal as part of the package ...or certain men seem to like that they are superiour and feel bigger this way), they love your social package, and what that brings them in terms of friends, business, and some people are looking to join a big family, they love your social skills or lack of that and love your isolation, they love what you DO for them ...this part could be endless, you compliment them endlessly, you build up their self-esteem, you pave the way with their difficult family members, (I'm thinking NOT Thai people here ..two Western people), or you are a disaster who makes them feel like a caretaker, or that you will never leave them because you are such a big damn disaster ...this can go either way apparently. They like that you clean, cook, fix the car, take care of the garden, don't interfere with their social life (outside you) or do interfere and treat them like a child or as someone who can't be trusted to walk alone down the street ...they love that you are NOT jealous, or that you ARE jealous and freak out 3 times per week! They love that you are like their father and can take care of money and business things, being a man or a woman, but you know how to plan for retirement, investments, real estate, or they hate that because they can't buy as much bullshit things they like, shoes, bags, golf clubs, stupid cars, whatever. Well after an endless list of these types of things, there is sex, which is great, or not great, or was great, and now not great, or great for one, but not the other ...and this seems to be the downfall in many cases. The other things listed above, might help you get here sooner or later, if those things are good or bad, you like or you hate the combo ...then the person, who usually is doing the least, and maybe getting the most out of the relationship, seems to cheat, and then it ends! Love, what is that? Oh, I know, it is that NEW feeling you have with that NEW person who does everything a different way than I used to do ...right? Then that lasts for some period, and then the downfalls, the disappointments, and what do you know, a new person has come along again, and brightened my very boring life and days, and now I LOVE them. Blah, blah, blah, and sometimes that includes moving to Thailand, and getting a person, who is SO different from you, it takes you years and years to figure it out ...that love here means one thing ...usually, not always. But the whole package is easier to do without here (because people here have a hard time judging the total package and you too, have trouble figuring out what you really have due to cultural differences)...hence more instant success ..for some, in their minds. And some people, aren't looking for the package, they are much more one-dimensional ..I think ..so can find success pretty easily. I'm not 100% sure real love exists except for between parents and children, and some people and dogs!! (i'm joking a litltle bit here.) Maybe that is why the mother/daughter thing is such a big deal here in Thailand? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainman34014 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 When Man and Woman first get together they are more 'in lust' than they are 'in love'....and that goes for anywhere on the Planet. I've never subscribed to this <deleted> about 'love at first sight' or other fairy tales like 'our eyes met across a crowded room' and bla bla bla. People just love living in Fantasyland. IMO love between two people is something that takes time to grow, and may take many years to do so. If you ask many older people that have been married for 20-30 years and are still happy together, if they are truthful, they will normally say 'it wasn't always like this, we used to fight a lot when we were younger and almost broke up on at least two occasions', or similar stories. Getting to know each other properly and learning each others qualities and complexities takes as much time as it takes and if you can stand the test of time you will find out what true love is. All just my own personal opinion of course; we all see the World through different eyes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amykat Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 When a woman loves a man, she will stand by him when he lost his job and has no dime in his pocket. She forgives him for the things he has done wrong. She will be his biggest fan when everyone else doubts him. She will work with him and not work against him. When he hurts, she hurts even more. That is how you can tell if she loves him! Action speaks louder than word. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand OMG, when I first read this I was 100% sure this was written by a man of course! The fact that it wasn't ....well all I can say is she is either still 22 ( or maybe 15 is more realistic) with no experience, or is totally bullshitting her answer here to try to attract farang men! Yes, I used to believe that too, at some age, in my 20s I guess. I hope you aren't older than that Somsrisonpnimai ...or I do hope you are and you have had better life experiences than most of us have had! Or maybe I really did believe that until my 30's ....I guess I should be honest. All you need to do, is find that love, do those actions and find your true love, "f**king everything that walks, and stealing all your money at the same time, AND making you think YOU are crazy while he is doing it, get a divorce, lose your business, lose your friends, lose half your family ... have your "true love" become your worst enemy, lie about everything, cheat about everything ...well just imagine whatever your worst nightmare is, and put it here, even though you DID do all you said above! WHY oh WHY didn't HE realize how much you loved him and stay, or act better?? Yes, WHY??? Loving them, apparently isn't near enough! If you could transform yourself into a totally new partner every 5 years or so, that would probably work better, and you could be a totally selfish bitch all along the way ...but on another hand, most men, seem to marry woman mostly, just like us again later, then get divorcecd again later, etc. So who knows what is the best way to act? Love?? Love ..what is that? Not sure! A title to give people to wear for a short time, a limited time? Until you find someone you like sex with better, then you LOVE them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 I think the answer is, one never knows IF someone really loves you or not! They love you ...what most people seem to love is a package ...yes, they love your looks, they love your job/profession/status/education, they love your money or financial capabilities (not meaning you have to suppport them, they could be equal to you, but they love that you are also equal as part of the package ...or certain men seem to like that they are superiour and feel bigger this way), they love your social package, and what that brings them in terms of friends, business, and some people are looking to join a big family, they love your social skills or lack of that and love your isolation, they love what you DO for them ...this part could be endless, you compliment them endlessly, you build up their self-esteem, you pave the way with their difficult family members, (I'm thinking NOT Thai people here ..two Western people), or you are a disaster who makes them feel like a caretaker, or that you will never leave them because you are such a big dam_n disaster ...this can go either way apparently. They like that you clean, cook, fix the car, take care of the garden, don't interfere with their social life (outside you) or do interfere and treat them like a child or as someone who can't be trusted to walk alone down the street ...they love that you are NOT jealous, or that you ARE jealous and freak out 3 times per week! They love that you are like their father and can take care of money and business things, being a man or a woman, but you know how to plan for retirement, investments, real estate, or they hate that because they can't buy as much bullshit things they like, shoes, bags, golf clubs, stupid cars, whatever. Well after an endless list of these types of things, there is sex, which is great, or not great, or was great, and now not great, or great for one, but not the other ...and this seems to be the downfall in many cases. The other things listed above, might help you get here sooner or later, if those things are good or bad, you like or you hate the combo ...then the person, who usually is doing the least, and maybe getting the most out of the relationship, seems to cheat, and then it ends! Love, what is that? Oh, I know, it is that NEW feeling you have with that NEW person who does everything a different way than I used to do ...right? Then that lasts for some period, and then the downfalls, the disappointments, and what do you know, a new person has come along again, and brightened my very boring life and days, and now I LOVE them. Blah, blah, blah, and sometimes that includes moving to Thailand, and getting a person, who is SO different from you, it takes you years and years to figure it out ...that love here means one thing ...usually, not always. But the whole package is easier to do without here (because people here have a hard time judging the total package and you too, have trouble figuring out what you really have due to cultural differences)...hence more instant success ..for some, in their minds. And some people, aren't looking for the package, they are much more one-dimensional ..I think ..so can find success pretty easily. I'm not 100% sure real love exists except for between parents and children, and some people and dogs!! (i'm joking a litltle bit here.) Maybe that is why the mother/daughter thing is such a big deal here in Thailand? Now there is something to think about. Maybe love does not really exist....but what is that feeling of total helplessness when someone you have been with is no longer there and all you can think about is your loss. Your world looses meaning you can not eat, you can not sleep, you are just in a daze..... I believe in love, I have been there and it has been the best and worst feeling in my life. That is one of the reasons I ask the questions about how do you know. What are the signs that say she is only playing with your heart ? Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somsrisonphimai Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Somsrisonphimai, on 17 Feb 2014 - 13:36, said:Quote When a woman loves a man, she will stand by him when he lost his job and has no dime in his pocket. She forgives him for the things he has done wrong. She will be his biggest fan when everyone else doubts him. She will work with him and not work against him. When he hurts, she hurts even more. That is how you can tell if she loves him! Action speaks louder than word. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand And she will never, ever, ever let him forget his mistakes................... Make sure he is paying attention for the rest of his natural..................... Edit: However, mine is different, as she also lets me do what I want when she wants. Things aren't all bad...................... Yes, she needs to remind him over and over again so that he won't repeat his mistake. Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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