What foreigners dont get about Thai girls.

[wym]

ST hotel is strictly for those cheating.

How can you be cheating if you avoid having a girlfriend in the first place?

I just brought it up in case he doesn't have the money - or isn't willing to spend it - to maintain two apartments.

Obviously more or less explicit sex workers is what he'll end up dating unless he's truly wealthy and/or young & hansum.

But nothing wrong with that, he didn't say he was trying to avoid that.

And they certainly don't mind the ST hotels, as soon as they start complaining and want to see your real home that's when it's time to swap out for a new one.

Of course that's what they'll assume is behind these tactics, that there's a mia luang back there, but again, most girls of this type don't mind that, some even prefer it, as long as they're getting what they want out of it.

[Scarpolo]

ST hotel is strictly for those cheating.

How can you be cheating if you avoid having a girlfriend in the first place?

I just brought it up in case he doesn't have the money - or isn't willing to spend it - to maintain two apartments.

Obviously more or less explicit sex workers is what he'll end up dating unless he's truly wealthy and/or young & hansum.

But nothing wrong with that, he didn't say he was trying to avoid that.

And they certainly don't mind the ST hotels, as soon as they start complaining and want to see your real home that's when it's time to swap out for a new one.

Of course that's what they'll assume is behind these tactics, that there's a mia luang back there, but again, most girls of this type don't mind that, some even prefer it, as long as they're getting what they want out of it.

I only have my own experiences to rely upon and watching my friend who is 66-70, not sure of exact, bed woman after woman age ranging all over the place, but mostly 40's and 50.

They are far ahead of us in our christian-judeo principles and no wonder so many get taken,

we are amateurs and we dont even know it,

not you more experienced people,

but my 6 months becomes more revealing each day

especially as I see new fish coming to the sea, unaware completely of the playing pool and its advanced state compared to what we came from

[johnbits]

What I really wanted to know about Thai women.

If I moved to Thailand and wanted to date, how can I avoid getting into a relationship?

Do I need to have a gated community?

Would security guards help?

How to discourage women from getting attached?

I have pondered this, I really didn't want to have to change sims and move frequently.

Well depends on your meaning of the word "date".

If you're young and hansum and not poor, you might have a chance at nailing some of the tiny proportion of TGs that are happy to have sex just for fun no strings attached.

But for the vast majority the whole purpose of "dating" is to form a long-term relationship, usually meaning marriage and kids.

Except of course for those just looking to extract money and move on, which for noobie farang will be the majority of those you encounter until you learn enough Thai to avoid them.

The trick is simply never revealing your real residence - either use the short-time hotels which do abound, or maintain a second temporary flat for your sexercise sessions.

The nicer the latter, the less likely you will have to resort to explicit sex workers. Few "nice girls" will be happy to be go the ST hotel route.

Flipping SIMs I'm afraid is unavoidable,but what's the big deal with that?

Speaking Thai doesn't seem to be necessary for either bar girls or office girls, though it would help. Teaching them English seems to be more important than me learning Thai.

I wouldn't mind the limited extraction of money, but getting them to leave seems to be the problem.

I am told I am a hansum man, though I am short, bald and soon to be 62 years old. But I am young at heart.

Learning Thai, I like to think I avoid a lot of problems by saying, ned noi Thai. Not understanding avoids a lot of problems.

But I suppose if I live there, I would feel compelled to learn, but would try and keep it a secret.

I wanted to book a few nights at My lady Thai, a curtain hotel. They had a nice jacuzzi bath for two, the glass walls on the bathrooms were a little strange. But they spoke zero English, making it more complicated to book overnight. Overnight being an odd request. Knowing more Thai would have been as asset.

I only had 1 bar girl the entire time I had stayed in Thailand. Which was from 1 -2.5 months at a time totaling over 8 months. She stayed with me a few weeks, stayed over at her village in Buriram for a few nights. Slept on the platform bed with the family, did the whole 9 yards.

Unfortunately I do like overnight Vs st, which is more like a relationship.

I would have liked to enjoy many women, but it seems hard like a lot of work avoiding getting claimed. Even the bar girl claimed me, I couldn’t “date” anyone else in the bar.

Edited April 1, 2014 by johnbits

[Scarpolo]

What I really wanted to know about Thai women.

If I moved to Thailand and wanted to date, how can I avoid getting into a relationship?

Do I need to have a gated community?

Would security guards help?

How to discourage women from getting attached?

I have pondered this, I really didn't want to have to change sims and move frequently.

Well depends on your meaning of the word "date".

If you're young and hansum and not poor, you might have a chance at nailing some of the tiny proportion of TGs that are happy to have sex just for fun no strings attached.

But for the vast majority the whole purpose of "dating" is to form a long-term relationship, usually meaning marriage and kids.

Except of course for those just looking to extract money and move on, which for noobie farang will be the majority of those you encounter until you learn enough Thai to avoid them.

The trick is simply never revealing your real residence - either use the short-time hotels which do abound, or maintain a second temporary flat for your sexercise sessions.

The nicer the latter, the less likely you will have to resort to explicit sex workers. Few "nice girls" will be happy to be go the ST hotel route.

Flipping SIMs I'm afraid is unavoidable,but what's the big deal with that?

Speaking Thai doesn't seem to be necessary for either bar girls or office girls, though it would help. Teaching them English seems to be more important than me learning Thai.

I wouldn't mind the limited extraction of money, but getting them to leave seems to be the problem.

I am told I am a hansum man, though I am short, bald and soon to be 62 years old. But I am young at heart.

Learning Thai, I like to think I avoid a lot of problems by saying, ned noi Thai. Not understanding avoids a lot of problems.

But I suppose if I live there, I would feel compelled to learn, but would try and keep it a secret.

I wanted to book a few nights at My lady Thai, a curtain hotel. They had a nice jacuzzi bath for two, the glass walls on the bathrooms were a little strange. But they spoke zero English, making it more complicated to book overnight. Overnight being an odd request. Knowing more Thai would have been as asset.

I only had 1 bar girl the entire time I had stayed in Thailand. Which was from 1 -2.5 months at a time totaling over 8 months. She stayed with me a few weeks, stayed over at her village in Buriram for a few nights. Slept on the platform bed with the family, did the whole 9 yards.

Unfortunately I do like overnight Vs st, which is more like a relationship.

I would have liked to enjoy many women, but it seems hard like a lot of work avoiding getting claimed. Even the bar girl claimed me, I couldn’t “date” anyone else in the bar.

Your description to me takes away the question mark,

at 62. I dont think you will have any trouble

the pool for you, is huge, probably in the 40+ categ. with the likelihood of deomgraphics bringing them younger

you'll have no trouble,

but you will have to lie to them,

are you willing to do that in order to accomplish your goal, just use them without expecting strings attached?

I didnt see them that way, seemingly seeking traditional marriages

Edited April 1, 2014 by Scarpolo

[johnbits]

Why would I have to lie? Lie about what?

I often like 30 - 40 year old women. But I have dated age 52.

I shy away from teenagers. Maybe if she is a bar girl, but anyone that age that isn't in if for money would want get married, and I would anticipate a lot of drama if things didn't work out. And if we did get married, what would I do with a 35 year old woman when I am 77?

I just find the topic very odd, I found it was hard to avoid relationships for farang men in Thailand.

[Scarpolo]

Why would I have to lie? Lie about what?

I often like 30 - 40 year old women. But I have dated age 52.

I shy away from teenagers. Maybe if she is a bar girl, but anyone that age that isn't in if for money would want get married, and I would anticipate a lot of drama if things didn't work out. And if we did get married, what would I do with a 35 year old woman when I am 77?

I just find the topic very odd, I found it was hard to avoid relationships for farang men in Thailand.

why lie?

why would any female in thailand sign in for him?

[slipperylobster]

Perhaps the problem lies with you. I have had no difficulty whatsover. In fact, took me only a week or two to find the best relationship of my life. You will never find what you want in a bar that sells sex. The nicer girls are still available, and looking. As can be expected, you will find many divorced women who would love to try a relationship with a decent man.

Spend years in the USA and never came close to a good relationship..not even with a dumpy couch pumpkin. In fact, the problem is that once you have a good gal, and your happiness shines out as you stroll around the town, that you start noticing all the other women throwing wishful glances. Most of my gal's friends never stop asking her how she got so lucky (LOL)...and want her to help them get a good one. I have a friend who never leaves the girlie bars... He tries one gal after another, with all the results being the same. A once positive, happy man now would be looked at as a pathetic, "customer" of ladies who work the farang pocket....inside and out. I have a hard time talking with him now.

[Scarpolo]

Perhaps the problem lies with you. I have had no difficulty whatsover. In fact, took me only a week or two to find the best relationship of my life. You will never find what you want in a bar that sells sex. The nicer girls are still available, and looking. As can be expected, you will find many divorced women who would love to try a relationship with a decent man.

Spend years in the USA and never came close to a good relationship..not even with a dumpy couch pumpkin. In fact, the problem is that once you have a good gal, and your happiness shines out as you stroll around the town, that you start noticing all the other women throwing wishful glances. Most of my gal's friends never stop asking her how she got so lucky (LOL)...and want her to help them get a good one. I have a friend who never leaves the girlie bars... He tries one gal after another, with all the results being the same. A once positive, happy man now would be looked at as a pathetic, "customer" of ladies who work the farang pocket....inside and out. I have a hard time talking with him now.

Could he be one of the posters here, who talks about all the young women he visits, and how happy he is not to be tied down to one?

[jacksam]

Read the above posts and you will find ONE VERY BORED INDIVIDUAL. .Any guesses. Maybe I'm in the frame.

[johnbits]

Why would I have to lie? Lie about what?

I often like 30 - 40 year old women. But I have dated age 52.

I shy away from teenagers. Maybe if she is a bar girl, but anyone that age that isn't in if for money would want get married, and I would anticipate a lot of drama if things didn't work out. And if we did get married, what would I do with a 35 year old woman when I am 77?

I just find the topic very odd, I found it was hard to avoid relationships for farang men in Thailand.

why lie?

why would any female in thailand sign in for him?

===========================================

It's a mystery without any clues.

But my question about your suggestion I would need to lie is the following.

What sort of lies would I need to tell?

[Scarpolo]

Why would I have to lie? Lie about what?

I often like 30 - 40 year old women. But I have dated age 52.

I shy away from teenagers. Maybe if she is a bar girl, but anyone that age that isn't in if for money would want get married, and I would anticipate a lot of drama if things didn't work out. And if we did get married, what would I do with a 35 year old woman when I am 77?

I just find the topic very odd, I found it was hard to avoid relationships for farang men in Thailand.

why lie?

why would any female in thailand sign in for him?

===========================================

It's a mystery without any clues.

But my question about your suggestion I would need to lie is the following.

What sort of lies would I need to tell?

You would have to lie about your intentions,

because they would be seeking something more permanent, and you clearly are not.

why would a female waster her good years on you without hope for more?

[fish fingers]

Regarding finding their dream woman in thailand - If a foreigner comes over thinking its going to be easy, they will always leave disappointed.

[Scarpolo]

Regarding finding their dream woman in thailand - If a foreigner comes over thinking its going to be easy, they will always leave disappointed.

and if the foreigner, is "not thinking anything?"

comes over, completely open minded?

[benalibina]

Regarding finding their dream woman in thailand - If a foreigner comes over thinking its going to be easy, they will always leave disappointed.

and if the foreigner, is "not thinking anything?"

comes over, completely open minded?

Same as above.

[Scarpolo]

Regarding finding their dream woman in thailand - If a foreigner comes over thinking its going to be easy, they will always leave disappointed.

and if the foreigner, is "not thinking anything?"

comes over, completely open minded?

Same as above.

am pretty suire dissapointed is a matter of expectation management and being conscious with "awareness"

[benalibina]

Regarding finding their dream woman in thailand - If a foreigner comes over thinking its going to be easy, they will always leave disappointed.

and if the foreigner, is "not thinking anything?"

comes over, completely open minded?

Same as above.

am pretty suire dissapointed is a matter of expectation management and being conscious with "awareness"

Trying do do good can be easier perceived as a weakness......reciprocity, lack thereof.....this throughout main part of society.....awareness....yeah yeah......whenever u think u understand it now.....moment later its out of the window......

[Scarpolo]

how old are you?

and, what's your take on equality for females?

[benalibina]

how old are you?

and, what's your take on equality for females?

Somewhat younger than u.

Equality.......thats the big mistake i made in the relationship......as we have kids......raising kids means u do it together....talk to make her understand that they are halve thai and halve dutch..using the good of both cultures but, as we lived in thailand, mentioning as well the negative parts of thailand and its culture.......tried tried tried....did not work but kept on having hope a woman, well....the mother of my kids, as an equal.....did not work out......reasons; education, lack thereof, nationalistic, family influences, underestimated here though...there is more than only money, family obligations and a total different set of ethics than in the west.

So for me doing it on an equal way did not work, hindsight.

[Scarpolo]

how old are you?

and, what's your take on equality for females?

Somewhat younger than u.

Equality.......thats the big mistake i made in the relationship......as we have kids......raising kids means u do it together....talk to make her understand that they are halve thai and halve dutch..using the good of both cultures but, as we lived in thailand, mentioning as well the negative parts of thailand and its culture.......tried tried tried....did not work but kept on having hope a woman, well....the mother of my kids, as an equal.....did not work out......reasons; education, lack thereof, nationalistic, family influences, underestimated here though...there is more than only money, family obligations and a total different set of ethics than in the west.

So for me doing it on an equal way did not work, hindsight.

ok, makes sense then.

similar to any marriage in other places when kids and family are new unknown variables.

I have seen many westerners, australians, germans, and apparently many dutch,

pushing baby carriages in the MRT, with their young wives walking ahead,

I won't go there, and you have a special set of circumstances which requires patience, and perhaps income, more income for more control?

I dont underestimate the family bondage and the guit thrown on the girls to perform tricks for the mother's family financial advancement,

re Equal:

I believe in allowing them to feel equal, as to them, it feels, in charge,

and in many ways they are,

until they aren't

I am 54.

well past family concerns, with two adult children starting careers together and now with my supervision and assistance,

as with everything, ageand life experience, and when you have your kids, is a factor that doesnt come thru posters rantings and criticisms

Edited April 2, 2014 by Scarpolo

[Scarpolo]

how old are you?

and, what's your take on equality for females?

Somewhat younger than u.

Equality.......thats the big mistake i made in the relationship......as we have kids......raising kids means u do it together....talk to make her understand that they are halve thai and halve dutch..using the good of both cultures but, as we lived in thailand, mentioning as well the negative parts of thailand and its culture.......tried tried tried....did not work but kept on having hope a woman, well....the mother of my kids, as an equal.....did not work out......reasons; education, lack thereof, nationalistic, family influences, underestimated here though...there is more than only money, family obligations and a total different set of ethics than in the west.

So for me doing it on an equal way did not work, hindsight.

I am curious to the outcome of their appearance, mixing dutch with thai?

what came thru?

[benalibina]

Looking back....financially i was in charge.....but treating her as an equal, how it should be IMO, was weakness......my bad...huge consequences though.

[benalibina]

how old are you?

and, what's your take on equality for females?

Somewhat younger than u.

Equality.......thats the big mistake i made in the relationship......as we have kids......raising kids means u do it together....talk to make her understand that they are halve thai and halve dutch..using the good of both cultures but, as we lived in thailand, mentioning as well the negative parts of thailand and its culture.......tried tried tried....did not work but kept on having hope a woman, well....the mother of my kids, as an equal.....did not work out......reasons; education, lack thereof, nationalistic, family influences, underestimated here though...there is more than only money, family obligations and a total different set of ethics than in the west.

So for me doing it on an equal way did not work, hindsight.

I am curious to the outcome of their appearance, mixing dutch with thai?

what came thru?

look profilephoto

[Scarpolo]

how old are you?

and, what's your take on equality for females?

Somewhat younger than u.

Equality.......thats the big mistake i made in the relationship......as we have kids......raising kids means u do it together....talk to make her understand that they are halve thai and halve dutch..using the good of both cultures but, as we lived in thailand, mentioning as well the negative parts of thailand and its culture.......tried tried tried....did not work but kept on having hope a woman, well....the mother of my kids, as an equal.....did not work out......reasons; education, lack thereof, nationalistic, family influences, underestimated here though...there is more than only money, family obligations and a total different set of ethics than in the west.

So for me doing it on an equal way did not work, hindsight.

I am curious to the outcome of their appearance, mixing dutch with thai?

what came thru?

look profilephoto

3 good reasons to stay the course,

I am sure you know what to do now,

and yours is a warning for others

I already know to be afraid of pregnancy, and she has already stated she would raise a kid alone, which means, the mother and the family who I already want no portion of.

they may be the greatest family of all, but on paper, a nightmare in the brewing, including a murdered older brother in high school over a scooter and debt of some form

the mother may also have had street loans,

this was a mess, but the daughter elevated them all,

now, they sink or swim, or go back to fishing.

I am not playing the hooked farange game.

she was good, but not good enough to fold up my nuts

[benalibina]

how old are you?

and, what's your take on equality for females?

Somewhat younger than u.

Equality.......thats the big mistake i made in the relationship......as we have kids......raising kids means u do it together....talk to make her understand that they are halve thai and halve dutch..using the good of both cultures but, as we lived in thailand, mentioning as well the negative parts of thailand and its culture.......tried tried tried....did not work but kept on having hope a woman, well....the mother of my kids, as an equal.....did not work out......reasons; education, lack thereof, nationalistic, family influences, underestimated here though...there is more than only money, family obligations and a total different set of ethics than in the west.

So for me doing it on an equal way did not work, hindsight.

I am curious to the outcome of their appearance, mixing dutch with thai?

what came thru?

look profilephoto

3 good reasons to stay the course,

I am sure you know what to do now,

and yours is a warning for others

I already know to be afraid of pregnancy, and she has already stated she would raise a kid alone, which means, the mother and the family who I already want no portion of.

they may be the greatest family of all, but on paper, a nightmare in the brewing, including a murdered older brother in high school over a scooter and debt of some form

the mother may also have had street loans,

this was a mess, but the daughter elevated them all,

now, they sink or swim, or go back to fishing.

I am not playing the hooked farange game.

she was good, but not good enough to fold up my nuts

Opted life not death, 8 years ago.......thats how it started.....

[Scarpolo]

does that mean, abortion, versus no parental father, or marriage and two more kids in an attempt to have a real family?

no one will fault you,

you have years to go mand many miles before you sleep now.

you will need your youth, I already know I am passed that,

you are only in the middle, and with the thai culture against you, but not them

[benalibina]

does that mean, abortion, versus no parental father, or marriage and two more kids in an attempt to have a real family?

no one will fault you,

you have years to go mand many miles before you sleep now.

you will need your youth, I already know I am passed that,

you are only in the middle, and with the thai culture against you, but not them

nobody was planned.....choice made with 1st born in favour of life....the next 2 were unplanned 2....forgotten....if u get it.

[Scarpolo]

does that mean, abortion, versus no parental father, or marriage and two more kids in an attempt to have a real family?

no one will fault you,

you have years to go mand many miles before you sleep now.

you will need your youth, I already know I am passed that,

you are only in the middle, and with the thai culture against you, but not them

nobody was planned.....choice made with 1st born in favour of life....the next 2 were unplanned 2....forgotten....if u get it.

you mean, not planned by you?

I can see thier desire for kids,

the girl I was with stopped taking birth control within a month of getting together.

I said nothing, but counted the days between periods, quietly

[benalibina]

does that mean, abortion, versus no parental father, or marriage and two more kids in an attempt to have a real family?

no one will fault you,

you have years to go mand many miles before you sleep now.

you will need your youth, I already know I am passed that,

you are only in the middle, and with the thai culture against you, but not them

nobody was planned.....choice made with 1st born in favour of life....the next 2 were unplanned 2....forgotten....if u get it.

you mean, not planned by you?

I can see thier desire for kids,

the girl I was with stopped taking birth control within a month of getting together.

I said nothing, but counted the days between periods, quietly

No, not planned...but welcomed alot....but not planned....i.e we talked about and decided no more kids, she took the pil.....and yeap.......forgot 1 day.

[johnbits]

Why would I have to lie? Lie about what?

I often like 30 - 40 year old women. But I have dated age 52.

I shy away from teenagers. Maybe if she is a bar girl, but anyone that age that isn't in if for money would want get married, and I would anticipate a lot of drama if things didn't work out. And if we did get married, what would I do with a 35 year old woman when I am 77?

I just find the topic very odd, I found it was hard to avoid relationships for farang men in Thailand.

why lie?

why would any female in thailand sign in for him?

===========================================

It's a mystery without any clues.

But my question about your suggestion I would need to lie is the following.

What sort of lies would I need to tell?

You would have to lie about your intentions,

because they would be seeking something more permanent, and you clearly are not.

why would a female waster her good years on you without hope for more?

I

I don't lie to people and I don't like doing it. In my experience it isn't necessary as people tend to believe what they want to believe, and seldom ask direct questions. I wouldn't want to lead anyone on.

When I got used to Thailand, which took 6 weeks, I had to debate whether I would want to remain single and screw around with women the next 20 years, or let myself get attached to someone that one would call my soulmate.

It took a while to decide which is better for me. I could see a lot of difficulties with trying to be foot loose and fancy free in Thailand, and a whole lot of mongers seemed to long for someone special that they knew really loved them. A lot of them eventually settle down with one woman, maybe a fling on the side from time to time, but maybe not.

Just what went through my mind at the time.

[wym]

Speaking Thai doesn't seem to be necessary for either bar girls or office girls, though it would help. Teaching them English seems to be more important than me learning Thai.

---------

I am told I am a hansum man, though I am short, bald and soon to be 62 years old.

Well since you don't seem averse to sex workers in principle then you're right, not necessary to learn Thai.

A less transactional relationship with young non-sex-workers will IMO nearly always be more expensive overall - for those of us not young&hansum than a straight deal with a sex worker.

Old ladies (30+) are another possible exception, but again, I wouldn't know.

I wouldn't mind the limited extraction of money, but getting them to leave seems to be the problem.

Yes. That's why I advocate setting it up so you don't actually reveal where you really live, that way you get to stay there without having to put up with huge drama.

The other advantage is that if you do find a real keeper, you've established a non-monger reputation among all the Thais watching you at your real residence, believe me in Thailand everyone knows your business.

If you really don't care about that, definitely don't want to try for a long-term relationship with a nice girl, then another way to go is to rent a condo in a place with very good security and get to know the guards well enough that they will keep the desperate jealous ex's from exposing you to a scene. But that IMO's more dicey.

I wanted to book a few nights at My lady Thai, a curtain hotel. They had a nice jacuzzi bath for two, the glass walls on the bathrooms were a little strange. But they spoke zero English, making it more complicated to book overnight. Overnight being an odd request. Knowing more Thai would have been as asset.

No, I've stayed many nights even weeks at ST hotels, not a problem at all.

The ones that cater to mostly-Thais, may be nervous about possible complications with police, since we're not allowed to use the kind of underage girls the Thais regularly employ. But as long as you can overcome that - usually by showing up with your obviously-adult slapper at check-in time, no problem.

But note the 24-hour rate is usually higher than you can find in regular hotels, that's fine too, just make sure they don't have an extra charge for guests, in fact some of the high-end places don't allow foreign men to bring TGs in at all.

I would have liked to enjoy many women, but it seems hard like a lot of work avoiding getting claimed. Even the bar girl claimed me, I couldnt date anyone else in the bar.

Well you could, but again, speaking Thai so they understand the score and you make everything clear before you ever agree to BF her the first time is required.

If you just take her without making it clear you're a butterfly first, then she'll want to try to "claim" you as you say.

Still up to you, some guys like the drama 8-)