Playing the Farang card

[IMA_FARANG]

I understand what you guys are saying about "using the Farang card in a Thai family ..... but you do have to be careful how and where you use it.

Otherwise you may be "trumped" in the family by the "Thai wife" or even the (very powerful) "Thai mother in law" card.

If you are or have been married to a Thai, you should be aware of what I mean.

As an example, "Thai wife" wanted a new stove for the house. I played my "Farang card" saying it was too expensive, need to wait.

Mother-in-law Trumped my play with her powerful "Thai mother-n-law" card ..... and Thai wife got a new stove.

In my house "Farang" card is powerful concerning money and expenses ..... but when played in the games of "Kitchen" and "Kids school" the "Farang card" is outclassed by "Thai wife card" or especially the "Thai mother-in-law" card which in that game is much stronger than my "Farang" card.

[samran]

If I get called farang I point out that I am not a farang, but Khymer.

Pom mai pben khon farang, pom pben khon Khymer na khrap.

This usually confuddles their two brain cells for a couple of days.

Probably as they are trying to figure out if that is the same thing as 'khmen'.

Considering they call Cambodia "Cam-bo-ria", lord only knows how they pronounce Khymer.

Cambodian:

เขมร

kà-măyn

Cambodia:

กัมพูชา ;

ประเทศกัมพูชา ;

เขมร

gam-poo-chaa ;

bprà-tâyt gam-poo-chaa ;

kà-măyn

yeah, no "Cam-bo-ria" there...

Edited April 17, 2014 by samran

[Benmart]

I sometimes use the ladies toilet and say, "sorry, I can't read Thai"

This begs the question...which toilet do ladyboys use???

They are not men...they are not women...is there a toilet for an it???

I believe the Third Gender uses whichever toilet based on the gentials they possess. Some have been altered and some not. It's difficult to use a urinal if one has no penis.

By the way. I have seen more "It's" wandering about that are so called "normal" males and females.Behaviors usually come into play when I decide which tag to put on someone...not just their looks.

[donniereadit]

I stood up to the mother-in-law and addressed her directly, rahter then complaining to my wife about it later.

Sounds like you are learning to be a man and being the head of the family (for once), not playing a farang card.

[lucjoker]

If thai call me "Falang",i call them "china -man" .

I look at a thai and say: " you china-man ,come here"

When he say: " i'm not china-man"

I answer : "yes ,you are because you have a small nose ,and all people with small noses are " China man"

As long as you call me "falang" i call you "china man "

Try it out!

The first police man who call you falang ,tell him he's a china man !lol

[LawrenceN]

OP, you did nothing wrong.

If something bothers you, take it out straight away with any family member or Thai person.

They have that excuse, if they don't like something......Thai culture doesn't allow this or that.....Bullshit.

They don't like it, they bring Thai culture into play.

And don't forget, you are the boss, they should respect and wai at you and not the other way around.

Ahhhhh.....feel better now.

Liked this. Something like this happened to me. Sister-in-law was tired from a day of shopping at the border at Mae Sai. I good-naturedly asked her what she bought for me. She replied rudely. A week later in Bangkok, I went to her home to have a conversation with her husband. She yelled, "went to the market" at the door. I asked "which market?" because if it was the local one outside the subdivision gate, I could have a nice stroll and go look for him. She yelled the same thing again, and I walked away with my ego bruised. That may not sound like much, but it was obvious to me the disrespect was intentional.

Later talked to my wife about it and told her her sister owes me an apology. She said "That's not Thai culture." Now, SIL was educated in the US. I helped that happen, which seems to be forgotten. So I reminded lovely wife that there are two cultures in play here, and that her sister will be held accountable for her disrespect. Fast forward a couple of years, and the family wants to see our lovely new home in Chiang Mai. I told the missus that SIL still owes me an apology, or she's not welcome in my home (as I was not welcome in hers in the incident above). I told her there would either be an apology, or a scene in which SIL is escorted from the premises. Family arrived while I was out running an errand. I was met at the door by wife and SIL who apologized before I opened my mouth.

So, you can assert yourself, draw a line in the sand from time-to-time, but don't freak out about small stuff. This was the only incident like this involving family in 26 years of our marriage.

[tullynagardy]

my mother in law yesterday did something I objected to with regards to looking after my daughter.

This is a huge issue for me as well. My MIL (who I otherwise get on fine with) deems it acceptable to drive my kids round on a motorbike with no helmets at 45 mph.

Everytime she does it I go crazy yet she simply cant comprehend this as unreasonable behaviour. (probably because everyone within about 500 miles does something similar.)

Im not sure if my reaction is a farrang card, if it happened in my home country Im pretty sure my reaction would be the same.

[ggt]

I sometimes use the ladies toilet and say, "sorry, I can't read Thai"

This begs the question...which toilet do ladyboys use???

They are not men...they are not women...is there a toilet for an it???

I believe the Third Gender uses whichever toilet based on the gentials they possess. Some have been altered and some not. It's difficult to use a urinal if one has no penis.

By the way. I have seen more "It's" wandering about that are so called "normal" males and females.Behaviors usually come into play when I decide which tag to put on someone...not just their looks.

I see your point...they are either genitals possessed...or not...thanks...

[Songlaw]

I sometimes use the ladies toilet and say, "sorry, I can't read Thai"

This begs the question...which toilet do ladyboys use???

They are not men...they are not women...is there a toilet for an it???

If there wasn't a toilet for an "it", I guess you'd be forced to use a diaper.

[Arma]

Deliberately playing the farang card is giving all farang a bad name. Thanks guys. Good to see how proud and honourable you are, taking advantage of people, from laziness or slyness, or just a conscious lack of respect.

I've found that what others have done I can usually undo by my actions. I don't credit others for their bad behaviors as I have no control of their past actions.

Where there is laziness, I try to be industrious. Where there is slyness, I try to forthright. Where there is disrespect, I try to be courteous and respectful.

I've found that my positive behaviors and good intentions usually produce like in return.

So far so good. One day at a time.

Kudos to you! Sounds like someone who is not thai has figured out how to live and happily co-exist in thailand!

[Acharn]

Pigeonjake, for starters, it would drive me nuts to hear my relatives-by-marriage say "falang dont like to see litter all over the garden" when they damn well know your name. The rest of the stuff wouldn't sit real well with me, either.

You're right, you need to politely, but firmly set boundaries from the beginning of any relationship. Same in the west. Hubby didn't want me giving keys to our place to my parents when we lived in the same town. Fair enough -- they weren't paying the bills.

I guarantee you when your relatives are talking to strangers about you, with you around, they call you falang.

I don't get why some people get upset about being referred to as "farang." If they say, "falang dont like to see ..." it's the same as if they said, "Frenchment don't like to see..." or "Canadians don't like to see ..." It's not as if "farang" was an insulting word. It's just a generic term meaning, "light-skinned person apparently of European ancestry." Heck, back in the '70s, when we still had American troops here I even heard black-skinned guys referred to as "farang." Yes, there are Thais who insist that was impossible, but I know what I heard. Lighten up, they're not insulting you.

Anyway, I've always liked the old saying, "You'd worry less about what other people think of you if you realized how little they do."

[Banshee]

Being a farang I will act like one, will always be myself and at the same time respect them and their ways.

When it comes to my daughter that's another matter, anyone does anything to her that displeases me I will not be backwards in coming forwards.

[zazezo]

if you marry into a family with no education, no standards, you might get stuff like that

will they listen when you talk ? 555555555555555

mai cow jai pasa angrit

When you enter the realm of a bandit tribe, even if you marry the bandit chief's

daughter, you are still marrying into a bandit tribe.

A "good thai woman" is one who can relieve you of your money without resorting

to cutting your throat. It is that capability which raises her above common skanks,

and renders her a "thai lady."

[Scarpolo]

they just place a higher value on their asses when it comes to Farange,

the Thais place no value on it

[kirstymelb101]

I get called farang often and I'm Thai national. Why? Simply because I don't eat somtum spicy.

[Scarpolo]

I get called farang often and I'm Thai national. Why? Simply because I don't eat somtum spicy.

destined to come to America?

[pigeonjake]

if you marry into a family with no education, no standards, you might get stuff like that

will they listen when you talk ? 555555555555555

mai cow jai pasa angrit

When you enter the realm of a bandit tribe, even if you marry the bandit chief's

daughter, you are still marrying into a bandit tribe.

A "good thai woman" is one who can relieve you of your money without resorting

to cutting your throat. It is that capability which raises her above common skanks,

and renders her a "thai lady."

another expert who knows NOTHING,,

PRICK

[Seastallion]

i play the farang card pretty often... and i always deliberately add "I am farang not thai"... there are plenty of customs (unwritten rules) here that are backward/retarded/outdated, period. living here for me means respecting people and the good things in thai society (plenty of that!)... it does NOT mean blindly accepting some of the crap that goes around here. the key is to be yourself, voice your opinion in a friendly/charming way and NOT causing loss of face to the other...

In the UK, Australia, NZ, and I daresay some of the US, there are quite a number of people that, while forced to accept immigrants, put them down for not assimilating the local culture. They abuse immigrants for wearing their customary clothes (bhurka for example), critisise them for not adopting Western customs, and ridicule their food etc.

I hope when you're back home that you are not one of these intolerant people, because it would be quite hypocritical otherwise.

[BB1955]

My house my way plain and simple ... as long as the wife agrees !!!!! 555

[ray23]

Well if it makes feel better vent, 90% of the time what you say isn't going to change a thing.

The hardest word seems to be no, for us foreigners.

I don't blame Thai's we create it when go with the flow.

You can try to be Thai. But, you never will be.

After eleven years now I have noted that Thai custom and tradition, can change with the situation to the Thai's advantage. To be honest I have hit the point where I am going to be me. If people don't like what I am they don't have to be around me. They have choices as well. I will show respect, to those who show me the same. Otherwise I don't need to be around them.

[gooberpeas]

I sometimes get irritated when I see relatives dropping papers, coconut shells debris etc in my yard,or leaving their dirty dishes on my picnnic table while I am busying raking the yard. I told them I don't appreciate pigs because pigs are messy. I said don't be a pig. They smiled but did pick up their trash.

[connda]

If I get called farang I point out that I am not a farang, but Khymer.

Pom mai pben khon farang, pom pben khon Khymer na khrap.

This usually confuddles their two brain cells for a couple of days.

Probably as they are trying to figure out if that is the same thing as 'khmen'.

Considering they call Cambodia "Cam-bo-ria", lord only knows how they pronounce Khymer.

Cambodian:

เขมร

kà-măyn

Cambodia:

กัมพูชา ;

ประเทศกัมพูชา ;

เขมร

gam-poo-chaa ;

bprà-tâyt gam-poo-chaa ;

kà-măyn

yeah, no "Cam-bo-ria" there...

My Thai wife pronounces it Cam-bo-ria. "Hey wife, how do you say Cambodia." Yep, Cam-bo-ria. So you can't find it in a dictionary or online. I talking to a Thai. That's all.

[jpeg]

Not bad to do at all.

Thais don't respect a quiet, soft character. Show them who's boss I say.

This is a joke, right? Listen up everyone,. The, (and I mean THE way) to out Thai a Thai is to go into 'zombie couldn't give a crap mode'. Totally freaks them OUT. They don't know how to react to the re-un-actable. Trust me, this has worked for me like, forever...

[Scarpolo]

ask any thai person to say Volvo

like the car,

my girl was trying to tell me what a Volvo car was,

All I heard was One-Wo

finally she pointed one out to me,

when I realized she was trying to say Volvo, and couldnt, that became the teaser word

[Colabamumbai]

Here is some more same family.

I would buy 100Baht 12call phone time, use the phone once maybe 2x and then get the message you are almost out of time.

Sure the family was using my cell phone when I left it wherever and then deleting calls made, took me 200 Baht to figure it out.

But the best is: I was living with a Thai woman paying, paying we both teaching, she leaves computer open goes out and I find her f........... 14 guys in 4 n countries on cam then asking them to send her money. I read all the messages skype etc., get all their email addresses......

She is On every Thai dating site, 10 different email addresses and many names, different ages with different photos.

I emailed a few of the guys, one, he met her here years before he replied thanks Alex you just saved me $500 bucks I was going to help her out, he has since become a friend and visits me in Tland.

Some apologized and some told me you know what.....

She told me it was none of my business what she did on the computer........I was outta there....

[smotherb]

Pigeonjake, for starters, it would drive me nuts to hear my relatives-by-marriage say "falang dont like to see litter all over the garden" when they damn well know your name. The rest of the stuff wouldn't sit real well with me, either.

You're right, you need to politely, but firmly set boundaries from the beginning of any relationship. Same in the west. Hubby didn't want me giving keys to our place to my parents when we lived in the same town. Fair enough -- they weren't paying the bills.

I guarantee you when your relatives are talking to strangers about you, with you around, they call you falang.

Why, do you have a name that's difficult to pronounce? Have they not yet come up with a suitable Thai nickname for you? Falang is hardly a suitable nickname.

Did they do this while you were dating your tiirak? If so, this should have been a real clue to what was in store. It would have been like me going to visit my husband's three uncles and their families before our marriage and finding they all referred to me as "Girlee" in talking about me when I wasn't around.

It is nothing to do with what the individuals name is, the generic of 'the Falang' is standard use.

Forget any western notions of politeness, or courtesy in using a persons name, it i scultural to refer to the foreigner in the third party.

It may seem like total ignorance to an intelligent westerner but that is the way it is in many/most parts of Thailand.

Retaliate by referring to your hosts as 'khun Thai' (the grammatical equivalent) and you will not be popular.

Exactly, that is why I refer to them as gooks, slants or slopes, it is just a generic standard use name.

[smotherb]

Mine must be different.....................

In all seriousness, our marriage has run its course without any interference from family, on either side. My wife is a grown up girl who fends for herself. If something is wrong, or needs to be talked about then it is, in most cases, sorted out there and then. Certainly not one-sided.........

In our household there is no such thing as a falang (or Thai) card, just a normal marriage partnership. Seems to work OK, at least it has for the last 15 years.............

Oh please, quit trying to be sensible.

[smotherb]

Here is some more same family.

I would buy 100Baht 12call phone time, use the phone once maybe 2x and then get the message you are almost out of time.

Sure the family was using my cell phone when I left it wherever and then deleting calls made, took me 200 Baht to figure it out.

But the best is: I was living with a Thai woman paying, paying we both teaching, she leaves computer open goes out and I find her f........... 14 guys in 4 n countries on cam then asking them to send her money. I read all the messages skype etc., get all their email addresses......

She is On every Thai dating site, 10 different email addresses and many names, different ages with different photos.

I emailed a few of the guys, one, he met her here years before he replied thanks Alex you just saved me $500 bucks I was going to help her out, he has since become a friend and visits me in Tland.

Some apologized and some told me you know what.....

She told me it was none of my business what she did on the computer........I was outta there....

You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

[petedk]

Recently I was waiting for the train on the MRT Line. I was first in a queue of about 20 people (evening rush hour) and jst as the train approached this Chinese/Thai lady literally pushed past everyone and tried to stand between the two queues of people thus blocking passengers exit.

Thais just looked at her but I put my elbow out to stop her (I was in a bit of a bad mood). Next thing I know she started yelling at me in Thai and slapped me on the chest.

I then did the Thai thing and just ignored her completely. When we got on the train she managed to get a seat and I was standing near the door. I could see her sitting on the edge of the seat trying to attract my attention. Several Thai who saw the episode smiled to me but said nothing.

I then changed to BTS and at Thong Lor as we getting off there was a long queue. Some foreigner simply walked past everyone and tried to push in front. I told him and showed him the queue. He was a big guy and just said " F%$# you" and pushed through

Edited April 24, 2014 by petedk

[leosuntime]

yeah i had a bad case of diarreah, i squatted down in front of the whole house hold and did it into a plastic bag then handed it to the mother, the farang card didn't work at all... its a myth