Spending the remainder of my life in Thailand.

[Deaw]

Benj005......I am a Yank also, from Boston, so I can relate to a lot of what you are saying; believe me, if anyone knows how expensive it is to live in America, it's another yank!

I am 7 years older than you and first discovered Thailand when I was 37. Same as most foreign men who come here, of course the first thing I wanted to do was move here, so I can relate to that part of your story also. But I think you may be approaching this all wrong by saying "I want to live in Thailand for the rest of my life" ....at age 44!

How can you possibly know that? You said some things about the great food and the nice weather, but it also sounds like you haven't been here very much. I have been coming here for 15 years and living here half years for the past 10 and I am STILL not sure if this is where I want to live! I am kind of here by default, really, it's cheaper than America and is the best place in this region IMO, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its faults; the 'good weather' is actually hotter than hell most of the time {think Jersey during the hottest days of late July - for 9 months straight} and the food; ehhhh, you will get tired of it, trust me. In fact, reading this thread has been an eye-opener because I will now research more about living in South Korea or Vietnam just for a change of pace! I think the weather in SK would suit me better also. I don't have to work so that helps and I can live anywhere I choose, I just like Thailand because everything seems to go pretty smoothly and I know a lot of ex-pats here.

Lastly, the Lady deal. I am happy you have found true love, and I hope it works for you. But you seem to be pinning at least half of your moving thoughts on her. This is a bad idea I think, because how many relationships really work out between a Thai and a westerner? You will read about a few of them here on TV but from my experience the ones which work out are a rarity and oftentimes the guy is miserable and ends up spending a lot of his money not only on the wife but also extended family. You mentioned Dad is dead and Mom is still around but doesn't want your money; what about cousins, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews who need money for school, ''friends'' of the family? Methinks they will start coming out of the woodwork once one of their own marries a farang.

I wish you luck but IMO you are better off working in America for another ten years or so, maybe in a more tax-friendly state? Oregon, New Hampshire? No income or sales tax, you get to keep a lot more of what you earn, and after ten years of saving you could then make the move here and be a lot more financially stable. You will still be relatively young and can THEN live your last 20 or 30 years over here, and have more teaching experience to boot = more income. I know this is not what you want to hear, and most likely no one will be able to talk you out of your dreams; but from my experience the people who come here without a plan are the ones who end up going back to their home countries with their tail between their legs. Good luck to you.

[Scarpolo]

Benj005......I am a Yank also, from Boston, so I can relate to a lot of what you are saying; believe me, if anyone knows how expensive it is to live in America, it's another yank!

I am 7 years older than you and first discovered Thailand when I was 37. Same as most foreign men who come here, of course the first thing I wanted to do was move here, so I can relate to that part of your story also. But I think you may be approaching this all wrong by saying "I want to live in Thailand for the rest of my life" ....at age 44!

How can you possibly know that? You said some things about the great food and the nice weather, but it also sounds like you haven't been here very much. I have been coming here for 15 years and living here half years for the past 10 and I am STILL not sure if this is where I want to live! I am kind of here by default, really, it's cheaper than America and is the best place in this region IMO, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its faults; the 'good weather' is actually hotter than hell most of the time {think Jersey during the hottest days of late July - for 9 months straight} and the food; ehhhh, you will get tired of it, trust me. In fact, reading this thread has been an eye-opener because I will now research more about living in South Korea or Vietnam just for a change of pace! I think the weather in SK would suit me better also. I don't have to work so that helps and I can live anywhere I choose, I just like Thailand because everything seems to go pretty smoothly and I know a lot of ex-pats here.

Lastly, the Lady deal. I am happy you have found true love, and I hope it works for you. But you seem to be pinning at least half of your moving thoughts on her. This is a bad idea I think, because how many relationships really work out between a Thai and a westerner? You will read about a few of them here on TV but from my experience the ones which work out are a rarity and oftentimes the guy is miserable and ends up spending a lot of his money not only on the wife but also extended family. You mentioned Dad is dead and Mom is still around but doesn't want your money; what about cousins, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews who need money for school, ''friends'' of the family? Methinks they will start coming out of the woodwork once one of their own marries a farang.

I wish you luck but IMO you are better off working in America for another ten years or so, maybe in a more tax-friendly state? Oregon, New Hampshire? No income or sales tax, you get to keep a lot more of what you earn, and after ten years of saving you could then make the move here and be a lot more financially stable. You will still be relatively young and can THEN live your last 20 or 30 years over here, and have more teaching experience to boot = more income. I know this is not what you want to hear, and most likely no one will be able to talk you out of your dreams; but from my experience the people who come here without a plan are the ones who end up going back to their home countries with their tail between their legs. Good luck to you.

great advice, and a wealth of experience

he says the mother doesnt want his money,

but who supports her now?

how much of what the daughter earns, goes right to the mother?

then there is the unexpected child of a sister, that comes in,

my friend is 68, his thai wife 44,

they suddenly are raising a 4 year old.

this poor NJ boy, hasnt got a clue what they are not telling him,

and, the mother does want your money

[marko kok prong]

What does not make sense in your story is that when you went back to the US you were asked to pay taxes for 2013. Under the foreign earned income exclusion any income earned abroad (up to 90+K) if you qualify for the exclusion, is not taxed in the US. Anyway, individual income tax rates are almost as high in Korea as they are in The US. I thought California was in dire need for teachers, but you may need to learn Spanish first (more useful than Thai)

I didn't have to pay federal taxes. I was able to use the foreign income exclusion income abroad. I made under $90k

But this does not apply to New Jersey residents. Although I worked overseas I still need to pay NJ taxes, because it's the law. It sucks. I hate this damn place.

The median pay for a police officer is $90k. Superintendents make $130k The average tax rate on a family of four is $8k

We have a lot of middle class people who are leaving this state.

you did not make a case for taxes being too high with your examples.

You also did not plan your tax structure.

Tell us,

how many times have you been in love, and how many times were you with her, before she told you she loved you?

I have only been in love one other time, and I was 22 at the time. I've screwed around a bit and I just kept to myself.

I know this is going to sound weird but we've been going out for over a year, and I've seen her for one month total. I saw her for one week, one week, and then 2 weeks.

I actually want to be with this girl before I make a discussion such as marriage. I know I said that I plan to marry this girl. I actually want to live with her first, and then we will take it from there. Also, I guess it's an age issue. Obviously, if I was 25 years old I would be thinking differently.

NJ residents pay the highest taxes in America. I don't need to prove it. Do some research and you'll find that I'm correct.

benj ,sorry to say this but you have not really been going out with each other for over a year,as you state you have known her for one month total,okay i met my wife who was a bar girl and spent a month with her,i went home came back after three,lived with her for another three,to see if it would work,it did and eventually we got married and have a good life together,i am 49 now we have been together about 2 years,however i had a substantial insurance payout from a work related injury in Australia,and there my freind is the rub,from what you say you have little capitol,which i am afraid could make life very hard for you,also does your gf know exactly your circumstances,many thai ladies automatically think all falangs are wealthy,i am not trying to be a pessimist here,but even guys who come here with a lot more $ than you find it not what they thought, i really think you should think long and hard about this,however that said once you have jasmine fever it is almost incurable.

[sirchai]

*My girlfriend is a Thai from Bangkok. She is 35 years old. We met thru a dating site called OK Cupid. She is not a bar girl! She works for a sports company as receptionist. I've been to her work and I've met her friends. Her father is dead.She has a mother who is very nice. My gf is from Korat. She wants the typical Thai wedding with Sin Sod. I don't mind because the mom will give the money back to us.

Most of our relationship has been long distance. Our plan is to be together. This will happen 2 ways. I'm going to go to Thailand, or she is going to come to America.

Oh god, dude. Well, you've met her on a dating website, okay. How much do you really know about her? Please be honest. She wants a typical Thai marriage with Sin Sod? Why don't you stay with her 24/7 and then decide what you're feelings are?

People usually spend some time together and then get married, when all works well. But you never had the time to really get to know her.

Please don't get me wrong, but your posts sound a little funny to me. Rethink your plan when staying with her for a few weeks.

Maybe you wouldn't like to marry her when you know more about her, some kids from her first marriage,etc...Good luck!-

Edited April 18, 2014 by sirchai

[joshstiles]

I am a Thai man and I can't even trust my own Thai gf.. Can't understand why many many farangs are willing to trust Thai ladies. I lived and still doing business in North Carolina but retire here in Thailand.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I don't trust thai ladies or thai men.....the thai culture today is based on corruption....

[Scarpolo]

Jasmine fever? a new term for me, I like it

the cure, is no money, no job, and no ability to get anywhere in a country with no friends.

no way, is what I say.

if she is clean, and can get a visa,

bring her over,

stretched out weekend romances is not love,

although, I heard I Love you so many times, from so many girls, some after sleeping with them only one time, it was nuts, and made me realize, it may be their best and only weapon,

talking love,

only talk

[sirchai]

I am a Thai man and I can't even trust my own Thai gf.. Can't understand why many many farangs are willing to trust Thai ladies. I lived and still doing business in North Carolina but retire here in Thailand.

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

I don't trust thai ladies or thai men.....the thai culture today is based on corruption....

I don't trust so many foreigners who come to Thailand being on the run.

[Roachiebkk]

If you're a bit of a salesman and look okay you might get a hotel chain marketing jobby somewhere. 30K per month is unimaginable. Surely your degree would get you something in the legit international schools at around 70k to 120k per month. Forgt about the Engrish teaching. IMHO

[Phetmike12]

You should be aware that in 2015 the APEC changes come into force and this means that all the Philippine teachers who have been trying to get here but couldn't get a visa will not need one, so I think that the country will be flooded with Philippine "native" speakers who will work for less than you will. I have lived here for 10 years and taught for those 10 years and your $30,000 pa you state is a dream. Try $12,000 unless you live in Bangkok and then it is higher, even if you have a B.Ed.

[Alwyn]

Sorry but I'm going to be pessimistic on this - please don't take this personally. You're considering marrying as girl you hardly know basically and that's not a smart move really is it, regardless of the girls nationality or background.

As your girl is 35 and has no children then that would indicate she's well educated and in a good job. Or she's lying, at least about the no children part.

You're asking about opening your own school or operating a bar? You haven't really thought this through have you? You also complain about US taxation and even having to pay taxes on your income in S Korea. You will also have to disclose your Thai income to the US IR too, that won't change.

There are a million and one stories about people like yourself who come to Thailand all loved up and with an open heart only to get battered by Thailand - having said that there a few happy stories too and as you say you have no money/savings etc I guess the Thais will have hard time extorting from you. On the same lines how do you intend opening a school (or bar?) with no money? Although the cost of living might seem cheap compared to the USA (for example) the cost of starting a business for a foreigner is far from cheap as you have to take into consideration visas and work permits etc on top of the usual start up costs.

Think it through my friend, as they say "fail to plan and you plan to fail".

Good luck with whatever you choose.

[inthepink]

American ignorance is a very very dangerous thing and thai ladies love it. Come on over....do whatever you want....in the end, you will learn what you should have researched in the beginning....keep researching this topic before you make a decision......

Unless......

You happen to find a thai lady with her OWN money and she is willing to support you while you get your crap together.

Perhaps you can try Ukraine women....they don't hate all americans and they do love the money just like thai ladies.

If you have your heart set on asia.....go back to korea or try vietnam

Where are YOU from that makes you so intelligent?

Certainly YOUR home country doesn't produce ANY ignorant people whom the Thai ladies would love, hmmmmm?

Must be nice to be you.

Yeah, come on, let's not turn this into an American bashing thread. I'm British and I would have to admit that I have met far more stupid British people in Thailand than I have Americans.

[kinmaew]

I would have to agree with the experienced ones. If you have no money are 44 and make better money in the west then stay there. Thailand is good for a good time but when I lived there on 30k per month I was constantly dipping into my savings, you just cant do it unless you want to live the life of a poor Thai drinking Sangsom once per month and eating som tam. I have wanted to live the dream and go back, two minds my co*k and my financial side and its the $$$'s that wins, I just cant do it, too damn risky, if I go and it doesnt work out, I cant return to my good job I would be totally stuffed. Wanna go to Thailand for long term, think $$$$$$$$$ because you are gonna need em.

[JSixpack]

Got two words for ya: Texas. Florida.

Florida is still growing,

Texas also, but, even hotter than Florida, and no ocean breeze

Geography's not one of your strong points, eh.

[fire and ice]

I agree that its unconscionable for the US Govt to tax people for when they are living abroad, but if you both lived in the USA the taxes are very low. The USA has the 3rd lowest taxes in the Developed World. Americans complain they pay too much tax but in reality they pay less than almost anyone else. Its 3rd lowest in the OECD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_tax_revenue_as_percentage_of_GDP ....And the tax level is almost identical to South Korea. You can't compare it to developing countries, Thailand may pay less % of GSP as tax but look at the lack of Govt services & infrastructure you have to live with!! In your shoes I'd rather pay US taxes and get a US Govt services than pay Thai taxes and Thai Govt "services" (if you plan to have kids think hard about this).

[Scarpolo]

Got two words for ya: Texas. Florida.

Florida is still growing,

Texas also, but, even hotter than Florida, and no ocean breeze

Geography's not one of your strong points, eh.

ok, other than the gulf part

[captspectre]

.

Why can't your girlfriend go with you? Thai people can go to Korea.

Jus' wunnerin

'nuff said

~

She can't come with me because...

1) We aren't married.

2)Even if we were married most schools will not sponsor a person who isn't working. She's not a teacher.

She could come to see me for 2-3 months at a time. That gets expensive though.

your SOL bud! to young for a retirement visa, don't make enough baht to stay, will not be able to get any other visa than tourist, there are no special education schools here that a foreigner can teach in, get a job, save money and do the tourist thing AND there is no welfare like obama has. the Thai's will boot you out if you don't have the money to stay.

[captspectre]

.

Why can't your girlfriend go with you? Thai people can go to Korea.

Jus' wunnerin

'nuff said

~

44 years old and JUST starting to save for retiremeny? Kinda late there pal, not much future for you here in Thailand. money talks for visa's and many other things. you have to have a regular income (not bonds, stocks) in order to retire here and you have to be at least fifty years old.

[chiman]

10 BHT says he jumps

[FiftyTwo]

Dear Ben,

You are thinking of giving up your future for your gf.

Tell us more about your gf.

At 35 she is a bit old for being single, why is she single?

At 35 she is a bit old for not having babies, are you really sure she doesn't have kids tucked away somewhere?

What does she do for a living, have you visited her place of work unexpectedly?

What assets does she have?

What is she bringing to the marriage table?

The ugly truth of Thailand is there are 1,000s of sex workers with kids preying on needy, nerdy western men.

It isn't worth giving up your future, for a bit of well used tail, that will cheat, steal and lie to you.

Why not go for a Korean woman, plenty in their 30s looking for marriage, of course you won't be bedding them first.

But they have assets, education, employment, no children and are far better partner prospects than the average Thai 30+ lady.

Edited April 18, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[FiftyTwo]

Look Buddy I have lived here for 25 years and have two wives and much more Thai male friends than falung friends. They all tell me the same story and my Thai friends are Directors, Politicians, Generals etc. Not motorbike taxi drivers. Thai women want money for self preservation because there is no social security system. Also close to 2/3 of the population is female so they are always worried you are going to find someone else. Regarding the OP's post if you can't flush $20-$30,000 down the toilet today without feeling it, I would suggest you reconsider your plan of coming to Thailand.

Close to 2/3 of the population is female? The ratio is actually 0.98 male/female. You're the only clown on this thread as far as I can see. Directors, politicians, generals blah blah blah. You'll be telling us you were a navy seal in a past life next.

I have to say, although births are roughly 50/50, single available Thai adults appear to be 2/3 women.

A lot of Thai guys die young, accident, booze, drugs, gangs.

Many are gay or ladyboy.

More are so poor that no aquisative Thai lady would look at them twice.

Leaving a lot of single available Thai women in their 30s.

So, ITP, if I changed the statement to "there is a vast excess of available single Thai ladies in their 30s" (aka Thai lady forest), would you agree or disagree with that?

Edited April 18, 2014 by FiftyTwo

[HardenedSoul]

Try online dating if you are shy. Most decent gals won't talk to you in a bar.

What a load of horse shit

[bangkapi]

You might want to file an amended tax return to get the money back that you paid in US taxes while working in Korea.

Didn't you ever hear of the 2555 form? Contact me and I'll help you file an amended return for you for only 25% of the money you get back.

[HardenedSoul]

44 years old and JUST starting to save for retiremeny? Kinda late there pal, not much future for you here in Thailand. money talks for visa's and many other things. you have to have a regular income (not bonds, stocks) in order to retire here and you have to be at least fifty years old.

Retirement's over rated.

From what I've seen in Thailand, it involves drinking and & eating too much, getting fatter and knocking around with unsavoury local women who, on far more occasions than the old boys will admit, chisel off a good chunk of their money.

What's the point of that?

Better to keep working

[seasia]

I think at age 44 and only having just started saving for retirement, you need to go for a job/location/situation that will enable you to put a reasonable amount of money away.

30 K baht a month simply not enough for that.

Something unexpected could occur and throw out plans trying to live on that amount.

Some good suggestions on the thread towards doing better/upping your sights.

GL.

[pigeonjake]

44 years old and JUST starting to save for retiremeny? Kinda late there pal, not much future for you here in Thailand. money talks for visa's and many other things. you have to have a regular income (not bonds, stocks) in order to retire here and you have to be at least fifty years old.

Retirement's over rated.

From what I've seen in Thailand, it involves drinking and & eating too much, getting fatter and knocking around with unsavoury local women who, on far more occasions than the old boys will admit, chisel off a good chunk of their money.

What's the point of that?

Better to keep working

have to agree with this ,, too,,

i like to keep working, not just because of the money i get,

but i miss the craic with the lads, offshore, or on shore for that matter,

so the new gig im starting 28on and 28 off will be great for me,,lol

jake

[marko kok prong]

Jasmine fever? a new term for me, I like it

the cure, is no money, no job, and no ability to get anywhere in a country with no friends.

no way, is what I say.

if she is clean, and can get a visa,

bring her over,

stretched out weekend romances is not love,

although, I heard I Love you so many times, from so many girls, some after sleeping with them only one time, it was nuts, and made me realize, it may be their best and only weapon,

talking love,

only talk

scarpolo,like your posts,not sure where i heard jasmine fever first ,maybe on stickman,think it refers to the frenzy a beautiful thai woman can cast on a lonely falang,my wife certainley gave it to me ,but i was fortunate too have some $ behind me,and she needs me more than i need her,not saying i don't love her but i can walk no probs if things become pear shaped,i agree with your post,i think benj has about 0% of sucsess with this.

[donniereadit]

I would have to agree with the experienced ones. If you have no money are 44 and make better money in the west then stay there. Thailand is good for a good time but when I lived there on 30k per month I was constantly dipping into my savings, you just cant do it unless you want to live the life of a poor Thai drinking Sangsom once per month and eating som tam. I have wanted to live the dream and go back, two minds my co*k and my financial side and its the $$$'s that wins, I just cant do it, too damn risky, if I go and it doesnt work out, I cant return to my good job I would be totally stuffed. Wanna go to Thailand for long term, think $$$$$$$$$ because you are gonna need em.

i lived in a luxury home for years in chaing mai city center and my total monthly expenses (everything) where below 30k. so it can be done. and i did not even need to budget.

the problem is you like to party and go whoring. but don't tell this guy he can't do it if he has a handle on himseslf. coming over here to live is a great option if you need to save cash and have some self-discipline.

[Leung Falang]

Social Security pension in US will only support you if you made significant income for your best 35 years and you own your house and car, are debt free, and have some savings. Teacher pension plans depend on the state, but it seems that the states that pay the better salaries have nearly unbearable tax rates...... Look up states with low tax rates and good pay for teachers....

You have 21 years to gather savings (401k seems best at your age) and Thailand will not allow you to do that even if you work at an international school at Baht 60,000 a month. If you could save a million US which seems highly unlikely, that would let you draw down $50,000 a year forever...do the math.

I am married to a wonderful Thai woman I met in Hong Kong 23 years ago. We worked all around the world yet for several years in Hong Kong I had to help her renew her visa every 2 weeks...yes expensive due to many "border runs" to other countries, none of which were near. Eventually she got her residence card. We now have a reasonably good pension and Social Security so can afford to live in Thailand 1/2 the time every year.

If you marry your GF and stay in Thailand, or just stay without marriage, she will always be pure Thai, and YOU will have to change entirely to her culture and support her family. If you marry and go to US with her, she will be westernized and your life will be much better in Thailand or in USA.

Go to USA, find a different state, marry your GF, and have a great life.

One option that I don't much like is spend a year in Thailand.....then go to USA. Your eyes will be opened....for sure.

Best wishes

[sailblue]

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30yrs.experiance of thai ways and other,my advice stay where you are,you wont live on what you can earn here,and as for starting a business forget it,there's plenty to read in the different forums.

as for the gf.wanting to get married[farang great catch] and a house,no mention of what her family want,then there.s a car,bike,and be wary of her brother,if she's serious do whats been suggested tell her you will marry her if she goes to live with you at your place of work.if your earning good money in korea stay there or you can come here and might I repeat might end up broke.i expect there will be plenty of advice for you but if you are serious about your gf.try and find out all you can about her.eg.has she been married,does she have any kids,who is she living with and one aspect that has sprung up the past few yrs.is has she got a computer or has access to one.

good luck.

All of the above ! Rare for a Thai women to get to 35 with no kids, husbands etc. It is tough in Thailand now, used to be easier, most bars are losing money, and as said, except for say Dive instructor etc, few jobs. What jobs there are, are low paid as there are so many guys fighting for the chance to stay here.

[BrooklynNY]

I hope that ...

benj005

would not rush into settling down in Thailand. You could look for another employment opportunity somewhere else in other states, if NJ is not your desire state to work. As far I know about MANY Thai women mentality that they want to live abroad if they could afford it. Having a white man as their b/f, their first impression is he is her financial security, white mixed baby, a gateway to live abroad.

I am a Thai who was fortunate that my parents could afford sending their children to study abroad at good schools in UK and U.S.A. Nowadays there are many Thai women hook up with foreigner men in hope that they may be lucky to come live abroad with their foreigner b/f or husband. An exception for the Thai women whose foreigner b/f or husband determined to live in Thailand that is nothing the g/f or wife could not pressure her b/f or husband but men would experience nagging from his Thai woman. As long as the man is financially secured then she would not mind living in Thailand but living abroad is still one of many Thai men and women's ultimate dream.

Having a mixed white baby is one of their dreams which is like a commodity so that they could walk aloof in their moo ban as if they were better than any other Thais who do not have white mixed baby. There are even many Thai women who want to sleep with white man just want to get pregnant and she does not care what the future would be. As long as she has a white mixed baby of her own that would satisfy her. I have some Thai woman whose broke up with their white man b/f but rather keep the baby for herself. They placed their white mixed child on the pedestal as if they were god children. Those children were raised with brainwashed hang up that they are beautiful and handsome from very young. Many of them are self-centered from being raised by a very typical Thainess mother.

I somehow have a notion that your Thai g/f is one of the typical Thainess. I have read stories from Thai forums that posted by Thai women who have westerner b/f and they all want to fulfill their typical dreams which are marriage, children, money, house, car and living abroad.

I would like to warn you about the MONEY issue that it may happen if Thai women who are financial equally to men, they would/might lose respect in men. It would be an equal opportunity that they would have to take control of relationship. The ones who are passive could be from a reason of lacking financial security.

P.S. please excuse me if there is any typos.

Edited April 18, 2014 by BrooklynNY