Reflections on gender and sexual orientation issues in Thailand

[Jingthing]

This article reflects my perception of Thai attitudes towards gender and orientation quite well. I wonder if other expats agree. I do realize some of the information here will be surprising and controversial to a lot of people as well. In any case I think it's really worth a read for everyone. Contrary to what's indicated in the article's headline, it's about a LOT more than just the ladyboy thing.

To deem Thailand more or less progressive than the U.S. in the “gay” rights department is to apply a set of standards based on a completely different perspective. It would be a real square peg, round hole situation (pun intended). But the differences are interesting to recognize. Thai culture has vastly greater gender fluidity than American culture. But it’s hard to say whether Thailand has a greater tolerance for homosexuality, at least as we see it. By American standards, Thailand could probably be considered more tolerant, considering the widespread acceptance of relationships Americans would consider “gay,” such as those between females and toms or straight men and ladyboys. But by the Thai’s own definition of “gay,” in which two people of the same sex who identify as such have a relationship, Thailand still seems to think, “not match.”

http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/modern-love/what-the-complicated-love-lives-of-thailands-ladyboys-tell-us-about-gender/

[mogandave]

Ladyboys are not gay, nor are the men that "date" them.

[sustento]

I don't really think it's possible to make a valid comparison between Thailand and anywhere in the west. The mindset and the way they're brought up is completely at odds with western thinking.

[onthemoon]

I don't really think it's possible to make a valid comparison between Thailand and anywhere in the west. The mindset and the way they're brought up is completely at odds with western thinking.

I agree with your second sentence, and that is why I think a comparison between Thailand and Western countries is a good idea.

[onthemoon]

I'd go a bit further than the article and say that there is a difference between Bangkok and the provinces.

In Bangkok, I have never had problems being gay, and I have had long-term relationships over the last 20-odd years. My colleagues and my respective BF's families, and now my husband's family, never had a problem with it. - And I am not into effeminate guys, so this is not a copy of traditional gender roles I am talking about.

I do believe that there is a difference when go are in the provinces, as some of my friends can attest.

[sustento]

It's worth trying to get your hands on a copy of "Dear Uncle Go: Male Homosexuality in Thailand" by Peter Jackson. Good read. The main core of the book is a series of letters from gays written to Uncle Go who's a sort of Thai "Dear Abby"

[onthemoon]

It's worth trying to get your hands on a copy of "Dear Uncle Go: Male Homosexuality in Thailand" by Peter Jackson. Good read. The main core of the book is a series of letters from gays written to Uncle Go who's a sort of Thai "Dear Abby"

Oh please.

Yes, I read the book some 15 years or so ago, and I have met Peter Jackson. He calls himself a scientist (actually, he does carry a Ph.D.), but his research methodology for this book was more than questionable. Uncle Go is NOT like Dear Abby: Dear Abby is a syndicated column that you can read in respectable newspapers, while Uncle Go was a column in one obscure Thai magazine that is akin to Weird, or one of these other mags in the US which report about alien sightings and sheep with three heads. Actually, the name of the magazine was indeed Plaek (แปลก = weird).

Uncle Go, as a gay column in this magazine, was just a contribution to the weirdness of the mag. I don't remember, but the question comes up whether Dr. Jackson actually verified that the letters were genuine. But then, even if they were, they were in no way representative for the gay population.

[sustento]

It's worth trying to get your hands on a copy of "Dear Uncle Go: Male Homosexuality in Thailand" by Peter Jackson. Good read. The main core of the book is a series of letters from gays written to Uncle Go who's a sort of Thai "Dear Abby"

Oh please.

Sorry you don't approve. Other people might want to read it and make their own minds up.

[onthemoon]

It's worth trying to get your hands on a copy of "Dear Uncle Go: Male Homosexuality in Thailand" by Peter Jackson. Good read. The main core of the book is a series of letters from gays written to Uncle Go who's a sort of Thai "Dear Abby"

Oh please.

Sorry you don't approve. Other people might want to read it and make their own minds up.

As long as they know that Uncle Go is not comparable to Dear Abby, the book can indeed be entertaining.

[pxlgirl]

In Thailand, and probably elsewhere, it depends on a) who you talk to, how you deal with the subject yourself. My home country is far more conservative than the US, yet still it's manageable to keep a "live-and-let-live" strategy among family and friends. Many of those who would seem shocked after a coming out, sooner or later realize that being gay is not defining their whole personality, that they have pretty much the same issues as straight people do and their lives are by far much more "boring" than how media (mis)represents them. Some haters are gonna hate regardless, so it's better to keep them far, far away.

[isanbirder]

In Thailand, and probably elsewhere, it depends on a) who you talk to, how you deal with the subject yourself. My home country is far more conservative than the US, yet still it's manageable to keep a "live-and-let-live" strategy among family and friends. Many of those who would seem shocked after a coming out, sooner or later realize that being gay is not defining their whole personality, that they have pretty much the same issues as straight people do and their lives are by far much more "boring" than how media (mis)represents them. Some haters are gonna hate regardless, so it's better to keep them far, far away.

Nice post. Yes, it depends so much on how you deal with the subject yourself.

On another current thread, it has emerged that the worst place for homophobia on football grounds happens to be the gay capital of Britain. I think there is a strong connection between the obvious nature (not to say aggressiveness) of the gay community, and the homophobia which it seems to provoke.

'Live and let live' works very well, not only in Bangkok, but also in the Isan village where I live.