Greeting a Thai Lady, with a kiss.

[Mudcrab]

If a bloke kissed me I would respond using a kiss of the Liverpool variety.

[transam]

I always think how funny to see old grandfathers walking down the street or shopping mall holding their darlings hand like they were teenagers, i like to look at the ladies face to read their mind, probably cringing every minute they are together, but my darling always held my arm as we walked everywhere i liked that but never held my hand and neither do any Thai couple i ever see (maybe teenagers) but not over 50's

Perhaps they both like ZZ Top........................

[DrTuner]

Puckering is the worst form of greeting besides handshakes, best way for bacteria to travel. Most

Asians got it right, no bodily

contact.

I like a small wave, if not that, a

nod. No need to stick your tongue

down some hairy fellows gullet.

Not a wai ?.

Jb1

Wais suck because they're loaded with some BS class hierarchy <deleted>. Same with bows. People should just be happy they don't bite each others heads off at first sight.

[DrTuner]

It is especially used in expat communities, where people tend to think it is somehow "hi-so" to do this. Ever seen two expat-wifes meet? For sure they will do anything to get attention from their surroundings. They will completely overplay it. Nothing more funny and completely ridiculous to look at!

A bit of lesbian action is all the rage these days, even the PC crowd seems to agree.

I reckon there is a reason why "Greek Style" is a synonym for going up the tradesman's entrance. All that male kissing and so on. The commies had some strange habits as well:

[bina]

btw, here shaking hands is also not always acceptable: being a female, i dont offer my hand to shake to men here that are obviously observant orthodox jewish, unless they offer their hadn first, as among the observant types, they cannot touch a strange woman (as she might be menstruating and therefore 'unclean', among other reasons); so i usually come out to greet with my hands held behind my back or at my sides, and wait for their first greeting. among israeli culture also women that i just meet during work will try to do the cheek kiss and frankly my american sense of space is large so i step back and start to move sideways to avoid w/o actually rejecting the greeting. mediterranean space is super close adn people are always touching eachother, even work colleages... sexual harrassment observers would have a field day with the amount of touchy/feely kissy kissy that goes on among workers/managers/people u just met. i also like the wei. and yes, i know how to do so to the proper people and the proper height etc. its not so difficult to learn really, but it helps having grey hair, i have to wei less and get wei'd more...

but now hubby initiates the huggy/kissy cheek thing with those he knows well...

with his mother, i wai deeply, take her hand, then do the israeli kissy cheek (twice ).

[transam]

btw, here shaking hands is also not always acceptable: being a female, i dont offer my hand to shake to men here that are obviously observant orthodox jewish, unless they offer their hadn first, as among the observant types, they cannot touch a strange woman (as she might be menstruating and therefore 'unclean', among other reasons); so i usually come out to greet with my hands held behind my back or at my sides, and wait for their first greeting. among israeli culture also women that i just meet during work will try to do the cheek kiss and frankly my american sense of space is large so i step back and start to move sideways to avoid w/o actually rejecting the greeting. mediterranean space is super close adn people are always touching eachother, even work colleages... sexual harrassment observers would have a field day with the amount of touchy/feely kissy kissy that goes on among workers/managers/people u just met. i also like the wei. and yes, i know how to do so to the proper people and the proper height etc. its not so difficult to learn really, but it helps having grey hair, i have to wei less and get wei'd more...

but now hubby initiates the huggy/kissy cheek thing with those he knows well...

with his mother, i wai deeply, take her hand, then do the israeli kissy cheek (twice ).

That reads like religious daft stuff. Do you wear a notice around your neck saying......."You OK, no monthly"....?

[techboy]

I cannot believe it! No excuse that you come from the Latin culture. Particularly coming to Thailand with so much commitment and being ignorant of this most basic thing. Your future wife's friends used great restraint in not actually letting out a scream and pushing you away.

¡ Que tonto estás!

[bina]

Transam no u just dont shake hands...the wont offer their hand so no need to ask or guess. ..same same for sitting on a seat on a bus...the will move...causes big problem on air flights. ..cant pour wine for them either. ..google it

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[dao16]

Honestly, women would freak out about it in the US in most places (there are some exceptions). After living in places in Europe and Latin America for several years, I remember going back to the states and greeting a woman I knew fro way back and out of reflex I made the cheek kissing motion I would greet my Southern European friends (ladies) with. Let's just say it was taken as a "move" on her and NOT as a greeting.

Here, it is even less common. Recently, a friend of mine had a similar situation and the Thais just thought it was crazy. I explained to my wife and she duly explained to the other Thais. She has been abroad quite a lot, but never to places where cheek kissing is common, but once I told her she got it.

Anyway....it's prudish here on all accounts.

[amse]

If you don't understand it, then you need to take some lessons in Thai culture. Every country is different, try to do this for instance in Africa and you'll probably get your head cut off.

[kurnell]

I don't know whee this kissing on the cheek started but it has to stop.

[DrTuner]

I don't know whee this kissing on the cheek started but it has to stop.

It does, when you respond with a hefty bitch slap.

[oldsailor35]

Not trying to have a dig here, but it depends on how "world wise" the ladies are, if they have come off a farm or never travelled out of Thailand, then what they have said is correct, however I have Thai lady friends, who are genuinely friends who were educated over seas and have travelled a lot and the kiss on the cheek thing in public is not a big deal and on some occasions its actually them who will initiate the cheek kiss thing

Forget about all this "come off the farm" crap.

It is in Thai culture, so suck it up and get on with life. I recently met up with an old friend, a Thai lady who was married to a yank and has spent the last 30 years in USA, i attempted to kiss her cheek, but she withdrew in shock saying, you never kiss a lady in public, it is against Thai culture. So that 'shoots the farm girl' theory down in flames. Incidentially this lady was born and grew up in Bangkok's Chinatown.

[oldsailor35]

I kiss the wife on both cheeks every time I come in a bit the worse for wear....

He's talking about the cheeks on her face

Errr! are you really sure about that ?

[oldsailor35]

I was told that kissing in public is not permitted with in Thai culture. Young people might do it, but certainly not respectable adults.

And certainly not with farangs unless you want people to think you are a bar girl.

Exactly, my partner who is from Suratthani, absolutely forbids public shows of affection. She says that she does not want people thinking that she is an Isaan bar girl...................snobbery , maybe, but that is how she thinks when she sees Thai girls hanging off farang men, kissing and cuddling. According to her, no Thai lady from decent family would even think of doing that.

[oldsailor35]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

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Yes, its much more.common in the UK now.

I feel like a fogey. Just doesn't feel right.

When i grew up in England many years ago, people just did not greet strangers with kisses. Now they seem to be copying some Europeans , slamming away left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, absolutely stupid way to say "G'day"

[Costas2008]

A lot of you are accusing me for not reading about Thai culture, before visiting Thailand.

In my life, I have travelled all over the world as a tourist and the thing I used to read, was about the museums, monuments, palaces or interesting places to visit during my short stay.

I came at that time to Thailand, for 10 days, as a tourist and also to meet the girl I was corresponding with.

I bet, none of you, giving wise advise to me, ever tried to learn about culture before you came here.

Yes, you learned it by now, so, please, stop being clever offering empty advice.

[Costas2008]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

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Yes, its much more.common in the UK now.

I feel like a fogey. Just doesn't feel right.

When i grew up in England many years ago, people just did not greet strangers with kisses. Now they seem to be copying some Europeans , slamming away left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, absolutely stupid way to say "G'day"

English, don't say G'day.......they say Hello.

are you sure you were in the right country?

[transam]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

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Yes, its much more.common in the UK now.

I feel like a fogey. Just doesn't feel right.

When i grew up in England many years ago, people just did not greet strangers with kisses. Now they seem to be copying some Europeans , slamming away left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, absolutely stupid way to say "G'day"

I am English, body language tells all, if a kiss is deemed OK, then it is OK.............

[spidermike007]

Good points indeed. The fact of the matter, is that I do not believe this is against Thai culture. That is a pretty strong statement, and I doubt it has any basis in fact. The more accurate thing to say may be that "we are not used to doing that, and we are afraid, uncomfortable, and unwilling to do things we are not used to doing. Thai people have a lot of lovely qualities, but they are amongst the most conventional minded people on the planet. It is extremely hard for most of them to think outside of the fairly small box they confine themselves to live within. So, when you introduce something like kissing for an introduction, I could see how that could blow their minds. Even some of my girlfriends friends, who i have known for years, I hesitate to kiss when I say hello. They seem to like to keep a physical distance unless you are intimate. Even my girlfriend, when she greets her Mom and Dad, after not seeing them for 9 months, never used to hug or kiss them. She does now, as I insist. It seems unnatural to not greet your folks warmly after that much time. I give her Mom and hug and a kiss, and she thinks it is strange, but I think she likes it.

So when they're culturally uncomfortable with something, they're being small minded - but when you disagree with something, it's unnatural and they should bend to your will?

I was just making a simple point. Do you disagree that it is difficult to get the average Thai person to do something that is culturally different than the norm? Have you not witnessed this? And did I say they were small minded? I said they live their lives in a fairly small box of conventions. Do you not agree? I am not big on conventions, and I do see a lot of people here that prescribe to conventions to the letter. I could care less if they "bend to my will". That means nothing to me. I am simply making an observation, and I feel it is a fairly impartial one at that.

[sirineou]

I cannot believe it! No excuse that you come from the Latin culture. Particularly coming to Thailand with so much commitment and being ignorant of this most basic thing. Your future wife's friends used great restraint in not actually letting out a scream and pushing you away.

¡ Que tonto estás!

No attempt at being didactic, but a Techboy should know that Greek is not a Latin culture.

And what does the Lone ranger and Tonto have to do with anything?

Who is Tonto now?

Edited May 3, 2014 by sirineou

[nithisa78]

In our family we grew to accept it. Though with the beloved Mother-in-law, it was always fine. It also wasn't made an issue of. In the west among our close friends and associates, not any problem. It requires discernment so as not to send the wrong message. .................When in Rome.............

[nisakiman]

Costas, it's perfectly fine to do this! Especially when you wear an outfit like this.

You may ridicule the traditional costume, but the guys who wear this uniform are the 'Evzones', or presidential guards, and those guys can kick ass. They only wear the dress uniform when on ceremonial duties, like when on duty in Syntagma Square in Athens, where they guard the tomb of the unknown soldier.

[wandasloan]

Always do the kiss on cheek thing with my wife's aunties, but since they have been in Switzerland for many years they are a bit wiser

Only well-travelled people want people to walk up to them and embrace them? How strangely you view the world. Is it barely, just possible that your aunties allow/welcome your cheek pecks because they know you and even like you? Is that possible? Or do they welcome cheek-kisses from anyone at all who wants to try it on them?

Many of my acquaintances, and all my family and friends are open to touchy-feely greetings, of course, hugs and pecks on the cheek included where warranted. Aunties included, once met and comfortable in the family. But I am repelled when a stranger tries the hug, never mind a kiss. Yuck.

Simple rule. Don't touch Thai women females Thais people until you know they actually welcome it. When in Rome, do like the Romans, not the Romanians. If you greeted me with an unannounced, unsignalled embrace and/or kiss, I would greet you quite physically in return. Really. I don't care how you do greetings in your country, I really don't. I only care how you do it in my personal space.

.

[somchaismith]

I knew a pretenntious Aussie git, who reckoned he'd acted in neighbors. When he met the Thai chicks he would put on his Queen's Australian and then give them a snuff on each cheek. He admited he was only doing it to sleaze up to them. Probably was also playing billiards at the same time.

If you did that to Mick Dundee's missus you'ld probably wear a Glasgow kiss or knuckle sandwich.

Edited May 3, 2014 by somchaismith

[chickenslegs]

I hate it when Bangkok girls try to kiss me.

Their moustaches are so scratchy.

[CryWolf]

My TGF never liked this and was well aware that it is farang custom. They dont like to express this kind of emotion in public. I can understand why but its difficult to explain why. Maybe its something like losing your control or emotions in public or letting your guard down. To be honest when I see a couple "Having a pash" in public I find it offensive, better to do this in private not in front of everyone. But I dont see anything wrong with a peck on the cheek generally.

Offensive? That was a joke right?

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[Acharn]

I grew up in the U.S. in a family that did not show affection. The first time my parents took me to visit my mother's family in Iowa (we lived in Ohio, about 600 miles away, overnight on the train) my mother warned me that Nana would kiss me on the cheek and I DAMNED WELL BETTER NOT WIPE IT OFF. Luckily Nana never did that after I was 10. Nobody else in my family ever kissed or hugged. When I started going to AA meetings during the '70s touchy-feely was all the rage, there were books about how people needed to touch. I hated it. Eventually enough people like me spoke out and it became less common. Long-time members get to know who likes to be hugged and who doesn't

When I first came to Thailand in the '70s I was relieved that Thais in general seemed to avoid physical contact. Of course those were the days of PM Thanom Kittikachorn, and you could be arrested for PDA (Public Display of Affection) A lot of the jerks you see outside Nana Plaza would have been in jail. Come to think of it, the girls would have, too, because of the short dresses. In those days the girls had to change clothes before going outside the bar.

Frankly, I can't imagine what I would do if I were forced to live some place like Greece or France where greeting with a kiss is common. I hate it. Watching Thai soap operas I note that I rarely, if ever, see people greeting each other with a kiss or a hug. I think it still is not accepted behavior, although as some posters point out above some Thais have come to accept it from the crazy farang. I am pretty sure that most Thais regard a kiss as sexual activity. I remember a movie about 30 years ago, where the hero teased the heroine by grabbing her and kissing her. She burst out crying, saying that now she was going to have a baby. OK, it was just a movie, but I think that scene accurately showed an aspect of Thai culture as it was then. I don't think it's changed that much.

[Oscar2]

i don't get the bit "When I first came to Thailand, to meet my future wife, I was pleasantly surprised, to see her waiting in KK airport..."

was she "mail order" or something? and forgive me, i've lived here many years but what is KK Airport?

didn't you read anything about Thai culture before coming here? ever see any Thais kiss strangers at an airport? some people really should stay in their own countries.

[bina]

Kon kaen

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