Thai neighbour regularly abuses his girlfriend/wife

[kandi]

Thai neighbour regularly beats his girlfriend/wife

I've been living in this condo in Bangkok for 2 and a half years now and can't really say anything bad about my neighbours. I live on the 4th floor at the end of the aisle, so I have a neighbour below, above and one next to me.

Two months ago, I started to hear loud bangs from the room above me which sounded like somebody had dropped a bag of rice. It happened usually in the evening, sometimes also in the middle of the night. It occured maybe once every three or four days. I've always tried to imagine what could cause this kind of sound but so far haven't been able to draw a possible conclusion.

A few weeks ago, the bangings disappeared. What came instead were loud shouting from a guy in his 20's or 30's. Even though I speak Thai, neither me or my girlfriend who lives with me have been able to understand what he's shouting.

Again, this happened usually in the evening or at night. I know he's screaming at his girlfriend or wife because I can sometimes hear her answering, in an upset but almost quiet voice.

The way he screams to her gives me goosebumps. He sounds like a complete maniac, like somebody who's mentally ill. He screams from the top of his lungs. Sometimes I can hear his girlfriend or wife screaming like she was being beaten up or something, followed by banging noises on their floor.

It's obvious that this guy is abusing her. Maybe he's only shouting, but it sounds more like he's also hitting her. I have to force myself not to go upstairs, knock at their door and ask this guy what his problem is. But I've been here long enough to know that this would probably be the worst idea, there're people who have died because of smaller things.

So, what should I do? Stay completely out of it? Call the BIB even though I doubt they'll do anything? Tell the management? I thought about writing an anonymous letter to the condo management to tell them what's going on in this room. Maybe they'll do something. What do you think?

[marko kok prong]

Stay wel lout of it,common behavouir,and if you poke your nose in it may get cut off,never,never get yourself involved in a dispute between Thai's and man and wife/gf even more so, buy some earplugs and forget the whole thing,unless of course you are like Vin Diesel,or the rock,then you can intervene.

[Som wat]

It's Thai Buddhism, you're not a Buddhist Thai so you wouldn't understand. Best stay out of it unless you really want a lesson in Buddhism here.

[Soutpeel]

Stay completely out of it

[robertthebruce]

Yep stay out of it..

You might end up on the recieving end of something that you were not expecting...

[apiwan]

Don't get involved .

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[arthurwait]

I know it's hard to stay out of it and the guy is most likely a complete coward , but remember the farang girl that got shot dead on Khao San Road a few years back for intervening in the same situation.

[muchogra]

From the OP: "...Tell the management? I thought about writing an anonymous letter to the condo management to tell them what's going on in this room...."

I believe this is a good approach. You ought to be commended for caring!

[smokie36]

Maybe they really enjoy making up afterwards.....

[Som wat]

I'm sure the condo management will care.

[muchogra]

I'm sure the condo management will care.

I know you're being sarcastic!

But hey that's what our society is turning into!

The OP is commendable, if real, don't you think?

[rucus7]

Sadly domestic violence is fairly prevalent in Thailand. What does your girlfriend say? The Police actually will respond, however it is best if the woman involved makes that call. You might consider having your girlfriend speak with her.

[Thongkorn]

I wish some one had stepped in when My now wife had two ribs broken and a tooth knocked out. From an abusive boyfriend a few years ago. When she reported it to the police they said they would not intervene because it was a family thing. So her Brother and Uncle sorted it. They kept it in the family, so to speak , he disappeared.

[Will2011]

Just call the security guards and explain you can't sleep because your neighbor is too noisy. They will signal him to keep it down. That's your best bet, as you really don't know for sure if he's hitting her. Other than that, stay out of troubles.

[David48]

Maybe they really enjoy making up afterwards.....

The man who can always see the silver lining ...

[YipYipYa123]

i seen a man and woman beating the crap out of each other in a restaurant one sunday afternoon

roaring and screamig abuse at each other

he was calling her a whore and she went nuts and slapped him and he grabbed her by the neck and starting

slapping the jaws off her and dragged her inside the apartments but she was kicking and screaming

none of the thais intervened ,most looked away or pretended they didnt notice or just kept eating their noodles

as if it was nothing ,i was thinkig of helping but she did hit him first and i dont know the story of how it started either

so maybe she deserved it ,who knows TIT

[muchogra]

People may have accounts of many different events. Tthe thing here is that the OP is showing concern of something he has seen and asked what the best avenue is! C'mon, have a heart and show that you care like the OP!

[Thaiberius]

Stay well out of it. I can talk from personal experience. I used to live in a Bangkok condo and one day I was waiting for the lift in the foyer, as it arrived and the doors opened I saw a Thai man crouched over a Thai female raining punches on her. I acted instinctively and stepped forward to try and stop him. In what seemed like a split second he produced a gun and pointed it straight at my head. I immediately backed off.

Never introduce western values to a Thai on Thai dispute.

[benalibina]

Stay well out of it. I can talk from personal experience. I used to live in a Bangkok condo and one day I was waiting for the lift in the foyer, as it arrived and the doors opened I saw a Thai man crouched over a Thai female raining punches on her. I acted instinctively and stepped forward to try and stop him. In what seemed like a split second he produced a gun and pointed it straight at my head. I immediately backed off.

Never introduce western values to a Thai on Thai dispute.

OP is worried and it has nothing to do with western values. It are his own values. Do you think that present western values are much different in OP's story than the assumed thai's values ? If OP is really worried let him call his gf anonymusly to the police if it doesnt stop, with a cock and bull story. Others in the condo must hear the noises as well.

A clear conscience is worth something.

[telldem]

Next time you hear the loud thud, go up stairs knock on the door and ask them to keep it down. If you see the girl bleeding down on the floor, you have my permission to take him out.

[BillyBobThai]

Unless you are prepared to kill him, stay out of it. If you chose to write a letter, let a Thai write it for you.

[Thaiberius]

Stay well out of it. I can talk from personal experience. I used to live in a Bangkok condo and one day I was waiting for the lift in the foyer, as it arrived and the doors opened I saw a Thai man crouched over a Thai female raining punches on her. I acted instinctively and stepped forward to try and stop him. In what seemed like a split second he produced a gun and pointed it straight at my head. I immediately backed off.

Never introduce western values to a Thai on Thai dispute.

OP is worried and it has nothing to do with western values. It are his own values. Do you think that present western values are much different in OP's story than the assumed thai's values ? If OP is really worried let him call his gf anonymusly to the police if it doesnt stop, with a cock and bull story. Others in the condo must hear the noises as well.

A clear conscience is worth something.

You will gain no prizes for becoming involved. The likelihood is both parties will turn against you as a farang for getting involved. By all means report the incidents anonymously but don't visibly impose your western values upon them, they don't need or want them. As for the poster advocating violence against the male, there will only be one winner and it won't be the farang.

[susan d]

Don't get involve.

[coconutbar]

Go in there and be a hero and bash the wifebeater see what happens

[Emilp]

Oh, so bad. You can tell manager, but he may do nothing.

[ABCer]

The fact they are Thai couple is immaterial.

Bad idea to interfere between a husband/wife or between bf/gf anywhere in the world.

If it's noise and disturbance you're complaining about - by all means go to Police, Condo Management or ... you are within your rights.

However stop commending your motives on grounds of being compassionate to the female.

If she doesn't like her treatment - she knows what to do.

Do not interfere.

[Seastallion]

Sadly domestic violence is fairly prevalent in Thailand. What does your girlfriend say? The Police actually will respond, however it is best if the woman involved makes that call. You might consider having your girlfriend speak with her.

Or call the BIB claiming she is the victim at address xyz 5/xy.

[chadillac666]

Every post is correct........It's not your business and if she is stupid enough to stay with him if he is truly kicking her ass, that's on her. As said above. you will have 15 motorcycle dudes at your front door, not only to beat the shit out of you, but you will also be putting your girl in harms way. She has to live here, you don't!! Just move

[Seastallion]

The fact they are Thai couple is immaterial..........

.................

..................

If she doesn't like her treatment - she knows what to do.

Do not interfere.

I agree it is immaterial whether Thai or not, although a Thai may react differently (in a worse way) than say a Kiwi.

I think it is wrong to assume she knows what to do, or is capable of doing anything if she did. Domestic violence is complicated, not least because the victims so very very often can't do anything, for various reasons including psychological dependence, cultural taboos, fear of retaliation, and so on.

Edit....I direct that to Chadilac666 too. It may very well be (most likely actually) that she can not do anything, so it is not "on her"....otherwise she would have done something by now. It is MOST unlikely that she enjoys it.

Edited May 17, 2014 by Seastallion

[dotpoom]

It's Thai Buddhism, you're not a Buddhist Thai so you wouldn't understand. Best stay out of it unless you really want a lesson in Buddhism here.

That's a first for me...man likes to beat up wife or girlfriend..........so put that down to Thai Buddhism. I don't think Thais of the Buddhist religion would be very impressed with that statement.