Do thai ladies stand by their man in tough times?

[hellohello123]

I've had mixed experiences with a couple of different Thai girlfriends. One thing that sticks in my mind, however, is the following. A couple of years ago my girlfriend had a friend who owned a beauty shop. She stopped by often to chat and I also got to know her girlfriend and her Farang boyfriend and they always seemed nice to me. One day her girlfriend was telling her friends in the shop that a woman she knows.......HAD VERY GOOD LUCK.........HER FARANG HUSBAND DIED SUDDENLY.....HE LEFT HER OVER 15 MILLION BAHT!!! This is good luck? Your husband dies? I still shake my head. To my surprise every woman in the shop agreed....THIS WAS GOOD LUCK!!! Not one word of how the poor guy passed away or sadness about his sudden demise!

it sounds like she is a bar girl or no different to a common hooker who married some farang for money, so this behaviour doesnt surprise me,

however, if this is the mentality of the normal thai girl, I would be very disappointed!

Dont make the mistake to emphasize too much on bargirl or hooker in example as given above.....thats were your thinking is wrong.IMHO ofcourse.

I just cant fathom to understand if its not a bar girl and a typical normal person, that they would consider the love of their life, to be lucky when they die,

I doubt ive ever seen or heard anyone ever say something like that in my country

[uhhh ohhh]

I've had mixed experiences with a couple of different Thai girlfriends. One thing that sticks in my mind, however, is the following. A couple of years ago my girlfriend had a friend who owned a beauty shop. She stopped by often to chat and I also got to know her girlfriend and her Farang boyfriend and they always seemed nice to me. One day her girlfriend was telling her friends in the shop that a woman she knows.......HAD VERY GOOD LUCK.........HER FARANG HUSBAND DIED SUDDENLY.....HE LEFT HER OVER 15 MILLION BAHT!!! This is good luck? Your husband dies? I still shake my head. To my surprise every woman in the shop agreed....THIS WAS GOOD LUCK!!! Not one word of how the poor guy passed away or sadness about his sudden demise!

it sounds like she is a bar girl or no different to a common hooker who married some farang for money, so this behaviour doesnt surprise me,

however, if this is the mentality of the normal thai girl, I would be very disappointed!

Dont make the mistake to emphasize too much on bargirl or hooker in example as given above.....thats were your thinking is wrong.IMHO ofcourse.

Per the previous two posts, I can't vouch for the woman who married the man because I never met her. However, my girlfriend, college educated in Chiang Mai, and most of the other women (a restaurant owner, salesperson and a couple other women who had families and owned nice businesses) were not bar girls. What surprised me was the reaction of these women, who also didn't know the widow, were in agreement with her good fortune....the death of her husband? The attitude of these, non-bar girls, was disturbing to me and I told them exactly that at the time!

[Neeranam]

I had a friend who lived not far away from me who was never rich to start with but his Thai wife never complained. He then got health complications and most of his savings went on Hospital treatment, he ended up having both his legs removed from the knees down. His wife pushed him everywhere in a wheelchair and generally cared for him alone at home with virtually no help until he died last year. In my eyes she was a real hero and i am very happy that she is now involved with a much better off Farang that will hopefully look after her well.

Did she get any money when he died?

Was she a peasant farming girl?

I ask because, a peasant farming girl will never believe a farang has no savings/home etc.

They play the long-term lottery and often I've seen them appear to get ANY farang then use that one to make contact with other ones.

Sorry if this is not the case in your friend's situation.

I've been married 13 years and yes, my wife has stood by me in tough times.

[YipYipYa123]

It's not Thai culture to see the white man as a walking ATM, it's all of Asia. Well educated Thai men tend to pay a much higher dowry for their educated 'to be' or "arranged" wifes. Dumb white people tend to misunderstand real culture vs hearsay.

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they usually buy beautiful girls age 16-18 as well when paying big money dowrys

the girls many farangs end up with are the garbage who cant even get a thai man

[Neeranam]

I've had mixed experiences with a couple of different Thai girlfriends. One thing that sticks in my mind, however, is the following. A couple of years ago my girlfriend had a friend who owned a beauty shop. She stopped by often to chat and I also got to know her girlfriend and her Farang boyfriend and they always seemed nice to me. One day her girlfriend was telling her friends in the shop that a woman she knows.......HAD VERY GOOD LUCK.........HER FARANG HUSBAND DIED SUDDENLY.....HE LEFT HER OVER 15 MILLION BAHT!!! This is good luck? Your husband dies? I still shake my head. To my surprise every woman in the shop agreed....THIS WAS GOOD LUCK!!! Not one word of how the poor guy passed away or sadness about his sudden demise!

it sounds like she is a bar girl or no different to a common hooker who married some farang for money, so this behaviour doesnt surprise me,

however, if this is the mentality of the normal thai girl, I would be very disappointed!

Dont make the mistake to emphasize too much on bargirl or hooker in example as given above.....thats were your thinking is wrong.IMHO ofcourse.

I just cant fathom to understand if its not a bar girl and a typical normal person, that they would consider the love of their life, to be lucky when they die,

I doubt ive ever seen or heard anyone ever say something like that in my country

True love exists between Thai people and foreign people.

What they were probably meaning was that it s good luck he left 15 million. This is a lot of money.

Although I haven't lived in my home country for a long time, I imagine if a normal girl's husband died and left her the equivalent, which would be around 2 million pounds, then people would say good luck, especially if she never knew about the money.

[YipYipYa123]

I've had mixed experiences with a couple of different Thai girlfriends. One thing that sticks in my mind, however, is the following. A couple of years ago my girlfriend had a friend who owned a beauty shop. She stopped by often to chat and I also got to know her girlfriend and her Farang boyfriend and they always seemed nice to me. One day her girlfriend was telling her friends in the shop that a woman she knows.......HAD VERY GOOD LUCK.........HER FARANG HUSBAND DIED SUDDENLY.....HE LEFT HER OVER 15 MILLION BAHT!!! This is good luck? Your husband dies? I still shake my head. To my surprise every woman in the shop agreed....THIS WAS GOOD LUCK!!! Not one word of how the poor guy passed away or sadness about his sudden demise!

if this were back in the west and a guy had an older wife die and then he unexpectedly inherited 15 million pounds/euros/ dollars etc you can bet

a lot of his friends would think he was a lucky son of a b itch

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I've seen the exact opposite to the OP.

Very few Thai moms living with the father of their children. Same as everywhere else in the world these days.

Main difference being Thai moms can't live off state benefits after popping a few kids, so they have to find a new man.

I'm thinking OP doesn't speak Thai, so doesn't understand the relationships and parentage of the kids around him.

Can't really comment on Thai/foreigner relationships, not seen that many.

[mrtoad]

I don't thnk this is necessarily specific to Thai or Western. If you get a decent lady tfrom wherever they will stand by you, even when times aren't so good.

[malcoml]

From my experience the answer is both yes and no.

If you are sick us such they certainly look after you better than a western women.

Now when it comes to financial matters I find the opposite. I frequently tell my wife we are a little short of money for the week so need to delay a purchase and I'm pretty much ignored on this.

I also tell my wife we need to save 'x' amount per month for our retirement and again pretty much ignored.

I seem to have a lot more fights with my wife over financial problems than I had with a western girl.

I have found in the past that bar girls are happy to kick off if someone has a go at you.

[Woodsie888]

True love exists between Thai people and foreign people.

What they were probably meaning was that it s good luck he left 15 million. This is a lot of money.

Although I haven't lived in my home country for a long time, I imagine if a normal girl's husband died and left her the equivalent, which would be around 2 million pounds, then people would say good luck, especially if she never knew about the money.

I'd really like to turn 15 million baht into 2 million pounds. Can you advise how to do this please?

[ezzra]

They stay by you as long as you have the means to support whatever life style you got

them to be use too, Thai ladies are not known to be loyal and have tendencies to play

the field as soon as you're not looking, and thus much less when time are hard...

[belg]

look at western divorce rates , you can do the same for thai ones

[irlguy1]

They stay by you as long as you have the means to support whatever life style you got

them to be use too, Thai ladies are not known to be loyal and have tendencies to play

the field as soon as you're not looking, and thus much less when time are hard...

And I suppose a western man never ever fools around behind his wife's back???

I am so sick of clueless moronic sheep making the same old comments every time there is a question about Thai women.

My wife has stuck with me through thick and thin. She works hard and saves hard because that's what we need to do to get what we want.

Most Thai ladies that I know are very loyal and the ones that aren't are usually the ones that are getting shit from there partners. I see posts in the forums all the time about men playing around behind there wife or girlfriends back and the replies are usually

" nice job or have fun or how do u get away with it because I want to do it?"

Yet one mention of a Thai girl and they are all money hungry stone cold selfish bitches...

Get over yourselves.

Stop being sheep and stop commenting on stuff most of you know nothing about.

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[godden]

there are hard times and hard times one of them no

[kingstonkid]

Simple for the ones that have not been corrupted to the western "money philosophy" the family unit is THE BE ALL AND END.

Not just here but in all of Southern Asia. (Can't speak for RUSSIA)

Lived in Pakistan, India and now Thailand. They are all the same family unit comes first. Now when it is a choice between main family (spouse and kids) or mother/Father. I am sure it may get tricky.

For a daughter working in a good job it would surprise me that she quit everything if it was simply money. I think the bigger thing is looking after mom and dad and providing funds.

Let's face it a girl in a bar wil make more than a girl in a rice field.

[Doc 69]

My wife has stuck with me through some terrible times, medically speaking. She is loyal to the extreme, but, I do not think for a second that her family does't come before me. I believe it's a Thai thing and there is nothing that can be done. She has moved halfway around the world and back with me over the last ten years. And, yes, we were together about 6 years before we married so I had a good idea of who she was. But, I watch how she is around her family and I know there is an unspoken "pecking" order. Good luck with you concerns.

[northernjohn]

I understand the thrust of your OP but ...

What is "typical in the western world"

and why do you think that it is 'Thai Culture' and not based on the chosen partner?

Good question.

With the changing culture brought in by the materialistic west it is not an easy question to answer.

My experience has been they do stand by their partner. Then again my friends did not pick some one far younger than them. Also they are not in the bar scene.

I think with the younger Thai's it is more prevalent. I know from my own experience that mine will stick by me.

[Smurkster]

I've seen the exact opposite to the OP.

Very few Thai moms living with the father of their children. Same as everywhere else in the world these days.

Main difference being Thai moms can't live off state benefits after popping a few kids, so they have to find a new man.

I'm thinking OP doesn't speak Thai, so doesn't understand the relationships and parentage of the kids around him.

Can't really comment on Thai/foreigner relationships, not seen that many.

you haven't seen many thai/foreigner relationships???

I reckon they are everywhere

[irlguy1]

My wife has stuck with me through some terrible times, medically speaking. She is loyal to the extreme, but, I do not think for a second that her family does't come before me. I believe it's a Thai thing and there is nothing that can be done. She has moved halfway around the world and back with me over the last ten years. And, yes, we were together about 6 years before we married so I had a good idea of who she was. But, I watch how she is around her family and I know there is an unspoken "pecking" order. Good luck with you concerns.

That's sad to hear mate. For me I know that I am top of the pecking order and she has proved it many times. Her family also see that and are very respectful of it.

Before you ask, no they are not rich. They are small village farmers. I paid no sinsod and I have only been asked for money twice over the years and my wife hated doing it on there behalf but it was small money and I saw first hand why they needed it. The third time I was asked for a loan by her brother as he was between jobs and this was paid back in full. Not because I wanted it but because my wife insisted on it.

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[cnx37]

In the main, FANTASTIC (my personal experience).

Of course there are exceptions.

[Grindting]

It is as others have said, unique per each couple. But there are cultures at play as well which will influence, and add strength to a case one way or the other. I will highlight in paragraph 5

My ex wife (probably my previous gfs both western and asian before her too) would have been gone in a shot if the cashflow had ended and or we were forced to I live hand to mouth for some reason.

6 years ago After I broke up with my ex gf I was having a conversation with my boss about what happened. he told me a story of him and his wife (Korean) during the 80s, where interest rates were through the roof and they didn't have a pot to piss in. Basically they were about to get their gas and electricity shut off as they couldn't afford to pay to pay their bill, this was during winter. They went to his parents house and borrowed some thick blankets to take back to their flat in anticipation of the cold (was too ashamed to tell his parents they couldn't afford to pay the electric). As they walked home, they found a £20 note on the street.. Just enough to pay the bill! They have lots of stories of when they were down financially at that time and laugh about them today with fond memories. They are still together and now retired

he was consoling me, letting me know that this is the kind of woman I should be after and that money is almost irrelevant to keeping a loving relationship going. He was right, and I felt better about breaking up with the real cvnt of a thai girl I was with.

Going back to what I was saying regarding culture playing a part, helping push a couple one way or the other. We all know that on the whole, a thai girl will choose her mother and father, brothers and sisters, grandparents etc, over her husbands in a time of crisis. A western girl we cannot generalise as there is no one specific culture to reference; it all depend on the circumstances. but id say perhaps western girls will have less bond to other family members, certainly in comparison to Thais.

I brought this up with my fiancé about 2 years ago, as it is something close to my heart. I got quite a pleasing response, said with conviction from her. That in Indonesian culture, and in Muslim culture (she is both obviously) once you are married, your husband takes priority over anyone as everyone. No matter what is going on. If I told her for example, that I don't want her to ever see her sister again, she would have to obey. But naturally, she would assure herself that I would not be so unreasonable, before we would marry. As of course id never be so unreasonable to start throwing demands around like that. But never the less, she will have to obey.

Once you are married, the 'pecking order' (as per thai culture) is eliminated, and the family knows this and respects it. For me, this is the way it should be. For me, my wife comes first above anyone else, and I want the same loyalty in return. I don't think it is unreasonable, and probably why no thai or asian other than indo or malay would ever work for me, as the 'pool' of women who share my values is almost non existent. There are clearly a few lucky ones in TV though and good for them

So I think in terms of risk analysis (this is just forum banter, I'm not a nutter..), an Indonesian girl (Muslim)will be far more likely to stay with their partner during hard times, physical or financial, and put her husband above others, more so than another asian culture/nationality.

Edited May 18, 2014 by Grindting

[bob strutt]

yes they do, but f around and you are inBIG trouble

[irlguy1]

It is as others have said, unique per each couple. But there are cultures at play as well which will influence, and add strength to a case one way or the other. I will highlight in paragraph 5

My ex wife (probably my previous gfs both western and asian before her too) would have been gone in a shot if the cashflow had ended and or we were forced to I live hand to mouth for some reason.

6 years ago After I broke up with my ex gf I was having a conversation with my boss about what happened. he told me a story of him and his wife (Korean) during the 80s, where interest rates were through the roof and they didn't have a pot to piss in. Basically they were about to get their gas and electricity shut off as they couldn't afford to pay to pay their bill, this was during winter. They went to his parents house and borrowed some thick blankets to take back to their flat in anticipation of the cold (was too ashamed to tell his parents they couldn't afford to pay the electric). As they walked home, they found a £20 note on the street.. Just enough to pay the bill! They have lots of stories of when they were down financially at that time and laugh about them today with fond memories. They are still together and now retired

he was consoling me, letting me know that this is the kind of woman I should be after and that money is almost irrelevant to keeping a loving relationship going. He was right, and I felt better about breaking up with the real cvnt of a thai girl I was with.

Going back to what I was saying regarding culture playing a part, helping push a couple one way or the other. We all know that on the whole, a thai girl will choose her mother and father, brothers and sisters, grandparents etc, over her husbands in a time of crisis. A western girl we cannot generalise as there is no one specific culture to reference; it all depend on the circumstances. but id say perhaps western girls will have less bond to other family members, certainly in comparison to Thais.

I brought this up with my fiancé about 2 years ago, as it is something close to my heart. I got quite a pleasing response, said with conviction from her. That in Indonesian culture, and in Muslim culture (she is both obviously) once you are married, your husband takes priority over anyone as everyone. No matter what is going on. If I told her for example, that I don't want her to ever see her sister again, she would have to obey. But naturally, she would assure herself that I would not be so unreasonable, before we would marry. As of course id never be so unreasonable to start throwing demands around like that. But never the less, she will have to obey.

Once you are married, the 'pecking order' as per thai culture is eliminated, and that is the only way is have it. For me personally, my wife comes first above anyone else, and I want the same loyalty in return. I don't think it is unreasonable, and probably why no thai or asian other than indo or malay would ever work with me.

So I think in terms of risk analysis (this is just forum banter, I'm not a nutter..), an Indonesian girl (Muslim)will be far more likely to stay with their partner during hard times, physical or financial, and put her husband above others, more so than a thai.

It's funny you should mention Muslims (and no I am not about to rant about them or Russians or any other nationality like some do in here)

My mate was married to a Muslim girl and within a year she had shagged his mate and screwed him for most of his cash. So I guess nothing is ever a sure thing.

I just hate people that generalise. Like I already said. " most Thai girls I know would NOT put there family before there husband.

It's a close thing but husband and new family come first.

It's not about culture it's about respect and if there is a mutual respect then there will be no problems.

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[irlguy1]

yes they do, but f around and you are inBIG trouble

So don't screw around...

That rule applies to all nationalities

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Edited May 18, 2014 by irlguy1

[HeijoshinCool]

I can say definitely yes. Many Thai ladies have stood by me during hard times.

[razer]

When she sincerely says you are family ... Yes

[notmyself]

Generally, no.

[techboy]

Nothing to do with the culture. If you got a good girl she sticks by you. I take it you were born last night?

[neverdie]

My wife has stuck by me through thick and thin for many years now, nothing has really phased her that much and I couldn't of done it without her. Several months ago she went a few strides ahead of that and actually saved my life following a mishap we were involved in at sea. At a time when all the chips were down and I wasn't in a position to help myself, she came through for me, managed a mammoth task and saved me. I'm probably the luckiest man alive when it comes to having the right person watching my back.

She's also Sincere, trustworthy, intelligent and very reliable.

Of course nobody is perfect, especially not I, but I never doubt her, she's proven it time and time again. I couldn't be with someone I couldn't trust.

Having said all that, you'd expect a man of my stature, standing in the community and good looks to have a gal like that

[QDG]

Not all ''bar girls'' are bad, but many have been deserted by husbands and through necessity end up doing what they do. The question could be asked equally of ''farang ladies''

like all things in this life, it's probably more down to good luck than judgement