Thai women..the Thai way..?

[LaraC]

Not sure how this is going to go BUT..... dep breath.....

There is another side to the story. I have been trying to figure ut a few things in my life and the biggest one is why women do not understand that in order to keep your man at home you have to do a few things.

Check out Lenny bruce for the best definition.

The question is why is he going out looking? Why do married guys go get soapy massage? Why do guys go to strip clubs or watch porn?

The answer is that they in most cases are missing that part of the equation at home.

I notice that she said she cleaned, got his meals made money did everything except what these one hour stands were doing.

There seems to be in Thai training for girls that sex is thought of much like the good catholic girls used to have drummed into their heads. It is dirty it hurts and it is only for making babies. you are not to enjoy it.

If yo do then you are no better than the girls in patpong, walking street or NANA.

I am not saying it is right but ask why there are so many karaoke bars in Thailand and they are all not there to cater to Farang.

you should have a sex talk with your friend or better yet have your friend translate the sex talk.

Again not saying it is right just that it is what it is.

Some men may indeed feel they arent getting the kind of sex they desire (and they should talk about this with their partners). However, some do..and still just want to <deleted> around anyway. Not getting the sex you want at home is most definately NOT the only reason why men will cheat. Many will purely because the opportunity is there, and here in Thailand the opportunity is great. ..People, both men and women, will ALWAYS always find a way to justify things they wish to do that can hurt their significant other. Peel it back, and often it is just a lame excuse..but it makes them feel better to rationalise hurtful behaviour and give a reason for doing it ("i couldnt help it, she didnt do..x y z. " ..er yes you can, you can keep your dick in your pants or leave her. Howzat? A relationship that lacks trust, honest or respect imo, is worthless).

[marioc]

maybe troll.... maybe not....

anyway this is her side of the story.....

[mania]

A relationship that lacks trust, honest or respect imo, is worthless).

+1

We came together respectfully....If at some point for any reason it is over

let us also end it respectfully. Why not?

If the claim is they are not getting what they want at home drives this behavior

then set free respectfully what is at home that you no longer want....BEFORE hurting them

needlessly. Show some respect for what you claim you once loved/shared a life with

Just IMHO

Edited May 26, 2014 by mania

[ccarbaugh]

LaraC, What you described is 2nd-hand heresay- gossip. You only heard, (and described to us,) her side of the story. Without hearing his side of the story, there is actually nothing anyone can or should do- which includes telling her to dump-the-bum. After hearing his side of the story too, it might make perfect sense for him to try to get her to dump him because he might be tired of being smothered- ??? We will never know until we hear both sides. So, for us to waste our time concerning ourselves with this incomplete drama is neurotic.

[Seastallion]

"no wonder so many men like it here, when they can walk all over a woman and be selfish, without any repercussions. However...i do wonder how a man can look at himself in the mirror with any sense of pride after treating another human being so unfairly.

Any thoughts...???"

Yeah, no wonder so many men like it here.

But have you considered, Lara, that the majority of those low class men were the dregs back home? Don't give them a thought.

My SO told me very sincerely that she will not tolerate me having a mia noi, but if I got bored with our sex, it would be ok to have a gik. She point blank refuses to entertain the idea that she would ever take on a gik. This is a Thai lady in love.

That statement stiffened an already solid resolve to never be unfaithful to her. How could I deliberately hurt such a precious and lovely woman?

Not all men are lascivious bastards

I don't think men are monogamous. I think a look at any famous men throughout history will support this. American Presidents for example. So I would disagree, what you call lascivious I would call normal. For one reason or another you don't feel the same as most men. That is certainly up to you and I would not criticize you for being monogamous. But why do you feel the need to criticize the normal guy who is not monogamous?

Because I have been there and done that. I have hurt women that did not deserve to be hurt. After many years of "karma" getting back at me, I now realise that I don't want to be hurt as much as I don't want to hurt someone else, especially a person I love.

The criticism is for men that deliberately hurt someone that does not deserve to be hurt.

As civilised people, we should be able to control our urges if those urges have an impact on someone else.

There is often the wisdom of the ages in the morals and ethics that society produces. Perhaps that's why Christianity preaches monogamy? Why Western society in general has in the past encouraged monogamy. I don't know as I'm not religious or a philosopher. But it bears thinking about.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Some men may indeed feel they arent getting the kind of sex they desire (and they should talk about this with their partners). However, some do..and still just want to <deleted> around anyway. Not getting the sex you want at home is most definately NOT the only reason why men will cheat. Many will purely because the opportunity is there, and here in Thailand the opportunity is great. ..People, both men and women, will ALWAYS always find a way to justify things they wish to do that can hurt their significant other. Peel it back, and often it is just a lame excuse..but it makes them feel better to rationalise hurtful behaviour and give a reason for doing it ("i couldnt help it, she didnt do..x y z. " ..er yes you can, you can keep your dick in your pants or leave her. Howzat? A relationship that lacks trust, honest or respect imo, is worthless).

I've not found trust, honesty or respect that worthwhile (or achievable) really.

Wanting and expecting them is a bit like banging your head against a wall (futile).

I've always found relationships consist of a victim and a victimizer.

(or should that be the oppressed and the oppressor)

The victim often fails to realize their role.

But I'm happy that it's working for you. Long live Hollywood!

Edited May 26, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[Seastallion]

"no wonder so many men like it here, when they can walk all over a woman and be selfish, without any repercussions. However...i do wonder how a man can look at himself in the mirror with any sense of pride after treating another human being so unfairly.

Any thoughts...???"

Yeah, no wonder so many men like it here.

But have you considered, Lara, that the majority of those low class men were the dregs back home? Don't give them a thought.

My SO told me very sincerely that she will not tolerate me having a mia noi, but if I got bored with our sex, it would be ok to have a gik. She point blank refuses to entertain the idea that she would ever take on a gik. This is a Thai lady in love.

That statement stiffened an already solid resolve to never be unfaithful to her. How could I deliberately hurt such a precious and lovely woman?

Not all men are lascivious bastards

I don't think men are monogamous. I think a look at any famous men throughout history will support this. American Presidents for example. So I would disagree, what you call lascivious I would call normal. For one reason or another you don't feel the same as most men. That is certainly up to you and I would not criticize you for being monogamous. But why do you feel the need to criticize the normal guy who is not monogamous?

Many (not all) men who rise to power significantly, often have certain personality traits, such as narcissistic traits. This helps push them to aquire status. Many of these men may be admired by others due to their obvious external success, but are actually terrible husbands/partners in the dedicated/emotional sense. The trouble is, many see this as something to aspire to (as society praises materialistic success). However, you often see very disturbed individuals when you crack open the outward shell (IF you can crack it open)..and often unhappy partners and families (who spend money to fill the fufillment gap). Who was it that said the true test of a man is when you give him power? Lincoln? Something like that anyway.

Caspar Weinberger (former US Secretary of Defense) was not a handsome man but he could pull much younger beauties. When asked about it he replied, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."

[thailiketoo]

"no wonder so many men like it here, when they can walk all over a woman and be selfish, without any repercussions. However...i do wonder how a man can look at himself in the mirror with any sense of pride after treating another human being so unfairly.

Any thoughts...???"

Yeah, no wonder so many men like it here.

But have you considered, Lara, that the majority of those low class men were the dregs back home? Don't give them a thought.

My SO told me very sincerely that she will not tolerate me having a mia noi, but if I got bored with our sex, it would be ok to have a gik. She point blank refuses to entertain the idea that she would ever take on a gik. This is a Thai lady in love.

That statement stiffened an already solid resolve to never be unfaithful to her. How could I deliberately hurt such a precious and lovely woman?

Not all men are lascivious bastards

I don't think men are monogamous. I think a look at any famous men throughout history will support this. American Presidents for example. So I would disagree, what you call lascivious I would call normal. For one reason or another you don't feel the same as most men. That is certainly up to you and I would not criticize you for being monogamous. But why do you feel the need to criticize the normal guy who is not monogamous?

Many (not all) men who rise to power significantly, often have certain personality traits, such as narcissistic traits. This helps push them to aquire status. Many of these men may be admired by others due to their obvious external success, but are actually terrible husbands/partners in the dedicated/emotional sense. The trouble is, many see this as something to aspire to (as society praises materialistic success). However, you often see very disturbed individuals when you crack open the outward shell (IF you can crack it open)..and often unhappy partners and families (who spend money to fill the fufillment gap). Who was it that said the true test of a man is when you give him power? Lincoln? Something like that anyway.

Come on now Bill Clinton is a nice guy and Hillary is a witch.

[mesquite]

"no wonder so many men like it here, when they can walk all over a woman and be selfish, without any repercussions. However...i do wonder how a man can look at himself in the mirror with any sense of pride after treating another human being so unfairly.

Any thoughts...???"

Yeah, no wonder so many men like it here.

But have you considered, Lara, that the majority of those low class men were the dregs back home? Don't give them a thought.

My SO told me very sincerely that she will not tolerate me having a mia noi, but if I got bored with our sex, it would be ok to have a gik. She point blank refuses to entertain the idea that she would ever take on a gik. This is a Thai lady in love.

That statement stiffened an already solid resolve to never be unfaithful to her. How could I deliberately hurt such a precious and lovely woman?

Not all men are lascivious bastards

I don't think men are monogamous. I think a look at any famous men throughout history will support this. American Presidents for example. So I would disagree, what you call lascivious I would call normal. For one reason or another you don't feel the same as most men. That is certainly up to you and I would not criticize you for being monogamous. But why do you feel the need to criticize the normal guy who is not monogamous?

Many (not all) men who rise to power significantly, often have certain personality traits, such as narcissistic traits. This helps push them to aquire status. Many of these men may be admired by others due to their obvious external success, but are actually terrible husbands/partners in the dedicated/emotional sense. The trouble is, many see this as something to aspire to (as society praises materialistic success). However, you often see very disturbed individuals when you crack open the outward shell (IF you can crack it open)..and often unhappy partners and families (who spend money to fill the fufillment gap). Who was it that said the true test of a man is when you give him power? Lincoln? Something like that anyway.

Caspar Weinberger (former US Secretary of Defense) was not a handsome man but he could pull much younger beauties. When asked about it he replied, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."

Actually, that was Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State during the Nixon years.

Edited May 26, 2014 by mesquite

[kingstonkid]

Not sure how this is going to go BUT..... dep breath.....

There is another side to the story. I have been trying to figure ut a few things in my life and the biggest one is why women do not understand that in order to keep your man at home you have to do a few things.

Check out Lenny bruce for the best definition.

The question is why is he going out looking? Why do married guys go get soapy massage? Why do guys go to strip clubs or watch porn?

The answer is that they in most cases are missing that part of the equation at home.

I notice that she said she cleaned, got his meals made money did everything except what these one hour stands were doing.

There seems to be in Thai training for girls that sex is thought of much like the good catholic girls used to have drummed into their heads. It is dirty it hurts and it is only for making babies. you are not to enjoy it.

If yo do then you are no better than the girls in patpong, walking street or NANA.

I am not saying it is right but ask why there are so many karaoke bars in Thailand and they are all not there to cater to Farang.

you should have a sex talk with your friend or better yet have your friend translate the sex talk.

Again not saying it is right just that it is what it is.

Some men may indeed feel they arent getting the kind of sex they desire (and they should talk about this with their partners). However, some do..and still just want to <deleted> around anyway. Not getting the sex you want at home is most definately NOT the only reason why men will cheat. Many will purely because the opportunity is there, and here in Thailand the opportunity is great. ..People, both men and women, will ALWAYS always find a way to justify things they wish to do that can hurt their significant other. Peel it back, and often it is just a lame excuse..but it makes them feel better to rationalise hurtful behaviour and give a reason for doing it ("i couldnt help it, she didnt do..x y z. " ..er yes you can, you can keep your dick in your pants or leave her. Howzat? A relationship that lacks trust, honest or respect imo, is worthless).

Lara

i did ot say that it was right. However, look at a lot of the Thai (although there a lot of western) relationships and families.

Man meets woman

man and woman date and have fun no worries GREAT SEX

man and woman get married

they have children Now life for woman is about being the perfect worker, housewife and mother.

There is is no time for husband and going out or having fun together.

Husband meets woman

husband and woman have fun

Husband and woman start to date

husband leaves wife and family for new woman

I am not saying it is right BUT i have experience from working in strip clubs whee if you listened to the guys that are there the big thing is

Wow if my wife would do that i would not have to spend so much money here.

Every counselor or therapist including Doctor Phil and Oprah will tell you that in order to have a great relationship you need t have a date night. No kids no work no house cleaning. go out have a nice dinner, dance or just go to an adult movie.

If guys and some woman do not get that then they start to look around.

It is a fact of life as old as time and applies to both men and women.

One question thoguh so i understand you

Are you married?????????

[kingstonkid]

a nother song for the topic

Covered by many but thought this was a more pertinent cover

[Tanlic]

Well Lara they say love is blind........of course what they mean is love messes with your brain.

The woman in question loves the guy, he's a swine, but somewhere between her heart and her brain there's a doubting system that starts little wheels spinning round in here head.

He chain of thought is not her own and something somewhere tells her she can't put an end to their relationship.

The medical term for this is It's called being scared sh!tless to be left alone.

She will be happy to talk about it all day and everyone will tell her the best thing she can do is dump him..........but guess what? the little wheels in her head won't allow that.

Many Australian women have a cure for this.

It is called Cambell's condensed soup

It comes in a small can, is quite heavy and fits into the hand no problem

They find out their man is cheating, wheels or no wheels they close one eye, aim and fire the can of soup straight at the back of his head.

If that fails they follow up with a leg of lamb which definitely does the trick.

If you are so concerned you can buy all you need at villa :0)

[Guest]

I agree some men have no self respect at all there must bbe a line drawn and if what this lady says is correct he should be ashamed, treat people as you want to bbe treated

[Seastallion]

Caspar Weinberger (former US Secretary of Defense) was not a handsome man but he could pull much younger beauties. When asked about it he replied, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."

Actually, that was Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State during the Nixon years.

Indeed it was.....thanks. I initially wrote "Secretary of State" but then googled Weinberger only to find I was wrong, so I changed it to Defence. Lol. I got them mixed up......I put it down to being only a youngster when watching the news with my dad back in the 60's and 70's

Edited May 26, 2014 by Seastallion

[nithisa78]

They can't look themselves in the mirror. If they could, what you explained would not happen. They are not men.

[Loptr]

How can you look at yourself in the mirror after being so judgmental and frankly quite insulting to all the men here

Now that's funny... After the last thread commandeered by you on the topic of Pattaya, pot meet kettle...

[Greg Nixon]

Before I read any of the answers i knew this poster was going to be dumped on. Seems that is the modus operandi of may of the respondents here; dump on the Original poster - no matter what the topic.

If someone asked for help because they were dieting of some rare disease, the respondents would say, " Its your fault for living. "

Totally unhelpful and unsupportive. Makes one reluctant to post at all.

[Lucifer]

Not sure how this is going to go BUT..... dep breath.....

There is another side to the story. I have been trying to figure ut a few things in my life and the biggest one is why women do not understand that in order to keep your man at home you have to do a few things.

Check out Lenny bruce for the best definition.

The question is why is he going out looking? Why do married guys go get soapy massage? Why do guys go to strip clubs or watch porn?

The answer is that they in most cases are missing that part of the equation at home.

I notice that she said she cleaned, got his meals made money did everything except what these one hour stands were doing.

There seems to be in Thai training for girls that sex is thought of much like the good catholic girls used to have drummed into their heads. It is dirty it hurts and it is only for making babies. you are not to enjoy it.

If yo do then you are no better than the girls in patpong, walking street or NANA.

I am not saying it is right but ask why there are so many karaoke bars in Thailand and they are all not there to cater to Farang.

you should have a sex talk with your friend or better yet have your friend translate the sex talk.

Again not saying it is right just that it is what it is.

Some men may indeed feel they arent getting the kind of sex they desire (and they should talk about this with their partners). However, some do..and still just want to <deleted> around anyway. Not getting the sex you want at home is most definately NOT the only reason why men will cheat. Many will purely because the opportunity is there, and here in Thailand the opportunity is great. ..People, both men and women, will ALWAYS always find a way to justify things they wish to do that can hurt their significant other. Peel it back, and often it is just a lame excuse..but it makes them feel better to rationalise hurtful behaviour and give a reason for doing it ("i couldnt help it, she didnt do..x y z. " ..er yes you can, you can keep your dick in your pants or leave her. Howzat? A relationship that lacks trust, honest or respect imo, is worthless).

er...no.

It maybe that a woman is a good mother, house keeper and beautiful, but not so good in the bedroom department. For some men, it seems pointless throwing all this away just because she isn't good in bed. Better to get satisfaction elsewhere then throw it all away.

[parmo2]

Before I read any of the answers i knew this poster was going to be dumped on. Seems that is the modus operandi of may of the respondents here; dump on the Original poster - no matter what the topic.

If someone asked for help because they were dieting of some rare disease, the respondents would say, " Its your fault for living. "

Totally unhelpful and unsupportive. Makes one reluctant to post at all.

You equate a few expats writing posts to "dieting" (¿¿) of a rare disease, histrionic much?

You are completely wrong, it is the OP which was typical feminist female only caring about women not considering any men and their suffering whatsoever. This was made perfectly clear in the posts. Did you read them?

feminists like to shame men and play the victim card because they hate us, you too if you are a male, maybe you are OP or friend? ??? Shaming, Blaming, Victimhood, they look down on white knights you know! They like our money though, ofcourse, and mostly male taxpayers' cash too

Edited May 26, 2014 by parmo2

[connda]

Infidelity is not a one-way street limited to men. It's a two-way street that is well traveled by both sexes here in the LOS. You've now heard her side. But there is always two sides to a story. Personally, I don't buy the 'most men are whoring pigs' line. It's a convenient, but well-worn excuse to explain men's behavior in a generalized manner. And here is Thailand your significant other is about as likely as you to be prowling around for romantic interludes that don't include you.

[monkeycountry]

Seeing that the OP speaks Thai, I wonder if she believes everything Thais (or anyone) say?

But I do agree with the OP that this should have been in the ladies forum - for the OPs own sake :-)

[connda]

If you didn't understand her 100% why didn't you just ask her for clarification or brush up on your Thai?

If you're going to post this nonsense as a thinly veiled attack on males (expats) and their adulterous behaviour at least make sure you understood her first.

I can speak and read thai. I was asked once if i was born here. How good does my Thai need to be?? She was speaking so fast and frantic that i wanted to make sure that i am really hearing what i think i am hearing (as sounded so unbelievable to me). My friend confirmed.

..sure, its obviously a thinly veiled attack on male expats..im obviously just trolling (<--i am being sarcastic, for clarification)..for nothing like this ever happens here, right.

Thank you all for your take on this.......

Should have posted in Ladies forum instead.

Should have posted in Ladies forum instead.

No, I think you posted it in the right forum. If you wanted consensus, you would have posted in the Ladies forum. You didn't. I can respect that.

I've been around during my wife's discussion with a friend of hers when they were discussing the pros and cons of establishing a monogamous relationship with just one of the two farangs boyfriends she had been going out with. Sure the money she was getting from both guys was good, but playing two guys at the same time without them bumping into each other gets to be a hassle after a while. Her cousin played two farang boyfriends while still keeping her Thai boyfriend on the side. Ok, maybe they aren't married, but if I was a guy supporting a Thai women, I'd expect monogamy from the woman I'm supporting and I'd return it in kind.

So, yep, I tend to be a little cynical when I heard the 'sad story' scenario from the other side. Also, Thai's are not direct. Your friend's friend sounds like she is salting this story around so that it will get back to her husband - indirectly. So is the story true??? Maybe? Maybe not? My own instincts tell me that the story is a little stretched.

[mdmayes]

Welcome to the human race...

[connda]

Having read the entire thread just reinforces my opinion that most Western women will sabotage any relationship they establish, and enjoy the destruction of the relationship more than they ever did the relationship itself. Your right. Stick with the sexy pictures and the vibrator. It doesn't take effort and compromise to maintain a vibrator, just a AA battery or two. And your vibrator will never cheat on you (unless your roommate gets a hold if it while your away). Best of luck with any future romantic relationships which statistically will leave you with a court settlement, custody of offspring, and an embittered world-view.
Now I remember why I married an Asian woman.

Edited May 26, 2014 by connda

[excelchain]

This situation can happen both men and women.

[ravip]

Any thoughts...???

THAT is the reason for the very high 'tourist' count in TH.

Never feel sorry for the guys who go broke 'caring' for the sick buffaloes.

You reep what you sow.

[ravip]

The question is why is he going out looking? Why do married guys go get soapy massage? Why do guys go to strip clubs or watch porn?

The answer is that they in most cases are missing that part of the equation at home.

Well... why dont they marry them and take them home?

Does one need education to answer this question?

[simosiam]

A Thai woman with her own house and business talking like that about her partner make me think about someone who allready got all she need and is ready to kick in the ass her boyfriend but it would make appear her very bad that's why she need to spoke around about some bad behavior that can make she save her face...

[arthurwait]

Probably doesn't want to be alone.

So many women here are alone all their lifes in terms of a partner, never even lose their virginity. She wants someone and if over 30 is almost certainly never going to get any interest from a Thai man.

Either Thai men have never been interested in her or she hasn't been interested in the ones that have so now sees this guy as the only guy she will get and he knows it.

[connda]

A Thai woman with her own house and business talking like that about her partner make me think about someone who allready got all she need and is ready to kick in the ass her boyfriend but it would make appear her very bad that's why she need to spoke around about some bad behavior that can make she save her face...

Which means she could be lying between her teeth about her husband having girlfriends and is simply setting the stage for a face-saving breakup where she is the apparent victim.

Sorry, but something about a farang so disabled that he needs a care-taker, but can find the energy to have multiple girl friends that just doesn't add up. I'd like to hear the husband's side of the story. Maybe the Thai woman has taken on a lesbian lover and wants to dump the farang, and is making up stories to grease up the face-saving divorce route. Hell, anything could be true, which means I find it all suspicious.

And the post seems to be a bit of a "all men are promiscuous pigs" rant where the OP is looking for consensus from some of the more emasculated males in the TV population. And it looks like she got a few hits -- a successful day for misandry.

Edited May 26, 2014 by connda