She's pregnant, its not mine, but she wants/needs money

[brit1984]

if she was willing to consider abortion, then it would have already been done, she doesn't need your advice about that

just decide how much you want / can afford to donate to charity this year, and how much of that budget you think she deserves over all the other desperate people in this world

[sanuk711]

I know of many Thai's happily married & not, who have had abortions in the years that I have lived here---I do not think its such big no-no now.

If its her Idea / wish to have one & you have enough funds to help her---what's the problem, she is obviously a friend, even though you both have history.

[meatboy]

As others have said, if you wish to help by all means help.

As a friend of mine always says " it is nice to be nice". Simple saying but it is true. If she is a friend and she is truly in need there is nothing wrong with helping a little. I would however only assist once with a little money and tell her that she will have to figure it out. The asking can go on and on and if you don't give she may get angry with you. So make sure she understands that it is a one time deal to give her some breathing room.

I can agree with the above post.do what you can mr.w.I used to be a soft touch that was until I was taken for a ride in fact many but I hardened up before the well dried up.i am one who would say abortion is a no no.but I have seen enough misery in Thailand with kids dumped with any granny,auntie,or the place that father ray runs in pattaya.a hell of a lot of kids with no life only an existence only to end up in a bar.i couldn't walk away if I had known this girl for such a long time so go with her to a docters and get the confirmation you need,then if its true then explain you will help to terminate the pregnancy,if she is not in agreement try to walk away I know I done it,hard yes,heartbreaking yes,have I wondered what life she now has yes,so did I do the right thing YES.

good luck mr.w.

[dotx]

If you didn't penetrate her and the baby cannot possibly be yours then why even ask? This is a bar girl you are talking about? Since you think there are others it's safe to say she is a bit of a slag?

Of all the replies, yours is by far the least helpful - no surprises but was it even vaguely possible that you might have addressed the question re abortion ? Would you completely turn your back on a woman back in your own country if she told you she had nowhere else to turn to ? All I'm looking for here is some way to dig her out of the hole some lowlife has dug for her - you know and I know how few Farang in Thailand are serious about wearing a condom - branding her a slag helps no one,

Since I'm a woman, I can tell you it's the WOMAN's responsibility to prevent pregnancy. You do not leave that to the guy. It's nice if the guy cares and all that, but in the end, it's your body, so you should care more.

Condoms are for preventing disease. If you want to use them as your only method of contraception and you end up pregnant, you really are an idiot.

Aside from that, if you want to help her because you're a friend, then by all means do that. But I don't think giving her money is the answer. Doesn't she get free healthcare during the pregnancy? Unless she has a medical condition that affects her pregnancy, she really shouldn't have any added expenses until after the baby is born.

Edited May 30, 2014 by dotx

[Straight8]

If you didn't penetrate her and the baby cannot possibly be yours then why even ask? This is a bar girl you are talking about? Since you think there are others it's safe to say she is a bit of a slag?

Of all the replies, yours is by far the least helpful - no surprises but was it even vaguely possible that you might have addressed the question re abortion ? Would you completely turn your back on a woman back in your own country if she told you she had nowhere else to turn to ? All I'm looking for here is some way to dig her out of the hole some lowlife has dug for her - you know and I know how few Farang in Thailand are serious about wearing a condom - branding her a slag helps no one,

This reply smacks of Thainess.

1. Would you completely turn your back on a woman back in your own country if she told you she had nowhere else to turn to ?

Seriously, you think she really has no one else to turn to?? No friends, relatives which most thais have an abundance of. When they say this they mean to say, I am starting at the top and targeting the easiest and most vulnerable. Think about that!!!!

2. All I'm looking for here is some way to dig her out of the hole some lowlife has dug for her - you know and I know how few Farang in Thailand are serious about wearing a condom - branding her a slag helps no one,

Right and she had nothing to do with spreading the legs for this person you call a low life. It was her choice firstly to bed him and secondly to not demand a condom. She is even more to blame for this mess she got herself in & branding him a low life evens the score up someone branding her a slag.

Listen to the majority of posters here. Is she really a friend in the true sense? By what you say I doubt it, but you may like to think so... fine.. waste no more time and help her out, obviously with baht, that's what she is really in need of.

Good luck!!

[seajae]

mate, I have known a few women that have had early abortions, while it doesnt effect some it does others especially when it is against their beliefs. I know it takes two to tango but the aussie addage of "if its not on, its not on" needs to be implanted in her head. Personally I cannot understand anyone not using protection in Thailand but I suppose there are those that simply refuse to care about what they do to others or what they take back home to share with others.

If she is a good friend then by all means offer her support but not finances as that needs to be accepted by her as she was the one that decided on what she actually did, it is not your responsibility. She needs to decide what she wants to do, she cannot expect anyone else to pay for her mistake unless she knows who the father is.

Offer help but you should not be paying for anything or she will come to expect it to continue, just support her as a friend, point out her choices then let her decide, you are not stupid and know what you are about so just be a friend.

[glcdc]

You get what you deserve; if you are responsible be a man and support her. If it's not your responsibility explain to her how choices create life...Is true DO NOT TRUST her unless you have physical proof she's pregnant.Poor kid no father, it does hurt but thats also her choice.

[Straight8]

OP, you have no idea if she's pregnant.

Yes he does, she told him so in the email!!

[macca3248]

Do what your heart tells you to do !

[smotherb]

It's got to be your decision. If it is not yours, the decision may be easier. If you want to help her, then do it. If you are just wanting others' support in telling her to f--- --f , shame on you.

[JimShortz]

If you didn't penetrate her and the baby cannot possibly be yours then why even ask? This is a bar girl you are talking about? Since you think there are others it's safe to say she is a bit of a slag?

Wow! How is it to live with such a complete lack of humanity?

You ask "This is a bar girl you are talking about?" as though if the answer is yes then she is sub-human and not worthy of help. I am not suggesting that he should hand over his wallet, but try showing some humanity... and respect for ALL people...

I haven't heard the phrase "slag" used for many years! Even then it was usually only used by morons who believe that women don't have the same rights as men to be sexually liberated. I guess that little has changed.

What's the opposite of 'slag'. Is it "stud"? Not the same connotations has it...

[transam]

OP, only a decision you can make, also think you have been reading these pages long enough to know what "can" go on with the ladies and the replies you will get in return from your OP here.

[Strangebrew]

Look simple not your problem you didn't hold her legs open it wasn't your tool that did the deed she is an adult right she needs to deal with it. Plain and simple Wish her luck though.She should go after the father not you unless your an ATM then in that case I got 6 kids I fathered and support want to give me money? Geez grow a pair you <deleted>.

[NoshowJones]

If you didn't penetrate her and the baby cannot possibly be yours then why even ask? This is a bar girl you are talking about? Since you think there are others it's safe to say she is a bit of a slag?

Of all the replies, yours is by far the least helpful - no surprises but was it even vaguely possible that you might have addressed the question re abortion ? Would you completely turn your back on a woman back in your own country if she told you she had nowhere else to turn to ? All I'm looking for here is some way to dig her out of the hole some lowlife has dug for her - you know and I know how few Farang in Thailand are serious about wearing a condom - branding her a slag helps no one,

I'm sorry your just another sad sack that needs to cry on a forum, man up like I said if it's not yours why you bothered. I don't need to read your pish about abortion because of the above.

This is a disgraceful way to treat a poster who is only asking for advice, I sure the Mods will take the appropiate action.

[HeavyDrinker]

One thing which jumps out at me here is why not help her track down the irresponsible deadbeat who enjoyed the parking of his taddies but seems to have vanished into the ether.

[louse1953]

Let's keep it simple. In the words in the title it says "she wants money"

Anything else is peripheral.

Two questions:-

1. Do you WANT to give her any money ?

2. Can you afford to give her any money ?

1. Not the amount she requested to support her during her pregnancy

2, Yes, I can afford it as of May 2014 - how long do you reckon my savings will last if I carry that attitude forward for the remainder of my retirement ?\

This might sound cold, but let me repeat the part about the baby not being mine.

Look after number 1 first,because nobody else will,then the closest to you if you can.You have to think with your big head and not your heart if you are going to survive here,i know your posts,you are smart enough to know this.Keep your hand in your pocket mate but give good advice.Time for her to call home,plenty of girls been down that road.Abortion is entirely her choice,u less father suddenly arrives.

[elzach]

Mr. "Worldwide", this is not a topic for a forum, but I'll admit, I've seen worse here.

Btw, lose that avatar, will you? it's annoying.

[pigeonjake]

at the end of the day mate its your choice,

do you help the girl or not,

if you help will it make you feel good?

and if you dont help will it make you feel bad,?

what would be worse good or bad,, she has put you in a very difficult situation, as reading this you do have a little feeling for the lady, it is sad all of us who have lived here for a number of years have seen sad things,

in our village just the other month, we saw a young girl heavy pregnent, and i meen young, maybe 15, i said to my wife this is the typ of girl who will end up in pattaya, its sad but true,

at the end of the day mate, its how t sits with you,,

good luck in what you decide, your on your own with this no one can help you, as all see differently, im against abortions by the way,

jake

[razer]

Get DNA verification and if it is your child, financial support would be the right thing to do. Feel blessed you are not in the EU or USA. Abortion is illegal in Thailand but aside from that, abortion is a personal choice by the mother and should be respected.

[hellohello123]

One thing which jumps out at me here is why not help her track down the irresponsible deadbeat who enjoyed the parking of his taddies but seems to have vanished into the ether.

<deleted>, unless you are a private investigator or have connections, why would you do all of this for her

She should find him hersel

herself

I don't get why it would even enter your mind? Like what you'd say to me.if I asked you for money, you'd tell me to get lost

If someone helped me in my time of need and I would be ever grateful, and would never ask or expect anything else

else

It seems that a lot of Thai women will get upset if you stop supporting them or expect more

If someone has line of thibking, they get no sympathy or support from me whatsoever

Talk .about biting the hands of your feeder

[mogy]

Also who is willing to support a bastard child? raise your hands pls.

and give the child something you obviously never had ?.....

[hellohello123]

And once she gets some other farang giving her more money then you, or finds a rich Guillable farang,

Then she won't even talk to you

So she emailed you for the first time.in four years!?!?!??! And you go back like a puppy wagging his tail

Think about it

[Skint]

If you didn't penetrate her and the baby cannot possibly be yours then why even ask? This is a bar girl you are talking about? Since you think there are others it's safe to say she is a bit of a slag?

Of all the replies, yours is by far the least helpful - no surprises but was it even vaguely possible that you might have addressed the question re abortion ? Would you completely turn your back on a woman back in your own country if she told you she had nowhere else to turn to ? All I'm looking for here is some way to dig her out of the hole some lowlife has dug for her - you know and I know how few Farang in Thailand are serious about wearing a condom - branding her a slag helps no one,

I'm sorry your just another sad sack that needs to cry on a forum, man up like I said if it's not yours why you bothered. I don't need to read your pish about abortion because of the above.

This is a disgraceful way to treat a poster who is only asking for advice, I sure the Mods will take the appropiate action.

What have the mods to do with the reply? The OP is trolling.

[lucifer666]

She's pregnant, It's not yours, It's not your problem.

[louse1953]

If you didn't penetrate her and the baby cannot possibly be yours then why even ask? This is a bar girl you are talking about? Since you think there are others it's safe to say she is a bit of a slag?

Of all the replies, yours is by far the least helpful - no surprises but was it even vaguely possible that you might have addressed the question re abortion ? Would you completely turn your back on a woman back in your own country if she told you she had nowhere else to turn to ? All I'm looking for here is some way to dig her out of the hole some lowlife has dug for her - you know and I know how few Farang in Thailand are serious about wearing a condom - branding her a slag helps no one,

I'm sorry your just another sad sack that needs to cry on a forum, man up like I said if it's not yours why you bothered. I don't need to read your pish about abortion because of the above.

This is a disgraceful way to treat a poster who is only asking for advice, I sure the Mods will take the appropiate action.

[/quote

Hey skint,i just put you on my shit list,no chrissy cards for you this year.

[bobbin]

She can get a legal abortion in Thailand.

Mr. Meechai (Condoms and Cabbages) established a foundation that helps low-income women with this problem. Send Sheryl a PM for the details. About 12,000 baht.

Help her financially if she chooses this route. It's a one-off cost.

Explain that under the circumstances, you won't be able to help much if she decides to continue the pregnancy.

[louse1953]

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="krisb" data-cid="7903609" data-time="1401405095">krisb, on 30 May 2014 - 06:11, said:<p><p>I like your sentiments k.but if you helped everybody,you would be in need of help very quickly yourself.I have heard some heart wrenching true stories,but you gotta pick your mark.

[louse1953]

If you didn't penetrate her and the baby cannot possibly be yours then why even ask? This is a bar girl you are talking about? Since you think there are others it's safe to say she is a bit of a slag?

Of all the replies, yours is by far the least helpful - no surprises but was it even vaguely possible that you might have addressed the question re abortion ? Would you completely turn your back on a woman back in your own country if she told you she had nowhere else to turn to ? All I'm looking for here is some way to dig her out of the hole some lowlife has dug for her - you know and I know how few Farang in Thailand are serious about wearing a condom - branding her a slag helps no one,

I'm sorry your just another sad sack that needs to cry on a forum, man up like I said if it's not yours why you bothered. I don't need to read your pish about abortion because of the above.

This is a disgraceful way to treat a poster who is only asking for advice, I sure the Mods will take the appropiate action.

What have the mods to do with the reply? The OP is trolling.

You are wrong again!!!If you have read WW previous work you would know this,he has forum cred.,more than i can say for you.

[larsjohnsson]

You should buy land and a house for her. And also give her money and gold.

[NoshowJones]

Mr Skint, the OP is not trolling, I don't remember having any debates with him, but I do have the impression that he is one of the respected TV members.