Friend entering Temple

[easyride]

My friend's son is about to enter the Temple for about 15 days as part of growing up rites.

The mother has invited me to the ceremony and my question is:

Is there any particular gift, financial donation or dress code I I should make/ wear?

[petercool]

It is not necessary but there are specific gift plastic buckets for sale everywhere containing items that are useful for life in a temple. Your dress code should avoid black or dark blue and do not wear shorts or jeans. I suggest comfortable easily removed shoes like sandals that do not need socks. Not everyone there will follow these guidelines but if you do you will fit in.

[Asiantravel]

One thing I learnt from attending a similar ceremony was close to the end the new monks change their clothing from white pyjama style clothes to their orange robes in private in the company of senior monks and after that they will line up with those large donation bowls, they carry around ( i dont know the name of them ) and everyone files past and puts money in.

You are expected to give money to all the new monks equally not just to your friends son. It might seem obvious, but just in case you don't know

[BrooklynNY]

I would not buy the yellow bucket filled with items because monks have plenty of those buckets and many people tend to buy the same. Those yellow buckets have become a scam within monks and the store owners who sell those buckets that monks will sell in exchange for money. It depends how close to your Thai friend, between 300-500 THB in an envelope would be appropriate.

[wvavin]

Just bring more money along and just erred on the right side if there is any.

[OMGImInPattaya]

One thing I learnt from attending a similar ceremony was close to the end the new monks change their clothing from white pyjama style clothes to their orange robes in private in the company of senior monks and after that they will line up with those large donation bowls, they carry around ( i dont know the name of them ) and everyone files past and puts money in.

You are expected to give money to all the new monks equally not just to your friends son. It might seem obvious, but just in case you don't know

That seems very odd, isn't one of the Buddhist precepts a vow of poverty? I thought monks weren't supposed to even handle money, let alone take up a collection of it when entering the monk hood!

[OMGImInPattaya]

I've been invited to attend one today of her son going in for a week or so. I asked her about clothing and she said anything was fine except black. Hadn't really considered a gift...what would one give a monk who is renouncing all worldly goods and pleasures?

[cornishcarlos]

The ones I have attended, 3 to this date, all started with a gathering and a meal at the family house.

This is where my wife and I have always given the envelope to the parents (300-500, as stated above). I think this is more to cover the celebration costs that the family incur?

At the temple, I just sit in the shade and observe, sometimes take photos if asked to by relatives.

Dress smart but casual and you will not feel out of place. It can drag on a bit, depending on which temple and their normal ceremony procedure.

It's a nice experience and worth attending. They will be very grateful that you have made the effort.

Enjoy

[norbra]

You might consider small gifts of towels,candles,flowers or a larger gift of orange robes,if you decide on robes you must buy expensive and the right height(size is measured by monks height), as the cheap ones do not last 12 months. Dress rules include covering your shoulders and upper legs.Money in envelope is also an option.

[Greg Nixon]

take off your shoes (clean feet please)

Give 20 lbs of rice and 20 baht

[Greg Nixon]

If you give 200 baht to six monks next time there will be 20 monks

If you give 20 baht to one monk next time there will only be 2 monks

Its up to you

teach a monk to beg and they will always be at your door

Beggar a monk and they will monk no more

[bankei]

As an exmonk i give the following advice

- wear whatever you want

- give whatever you want. It is common to give money in an envelop. about 100B to 500B. One Thai person gave me 1000B at my ordination.

Monks are not supposed to handle gold and silver, but 99% of thai monks do. It is a minor rule.

I agree, avoid the yellow buckets. Temples have storerooms full of these things as with toothpast, soap etc. Some even sell them back to the shops.

Bankei

[Guderian]

My girlfriend's brother did this two years back, though I didn't go with her all the way up to Lom Sak in Petchabun for the ceremony. I just gave 500 Baht for her to pass on to him or to the temple, and when she came back her brother had sent me a small gift, supposedly blessed by somebody, to say thanks in return. She showed me the photos and it all looked very nice, in hindsight I wish I'd put in the effort and gone with her.

Edited June 21, 2014 by Guderian

[baratrachael]

The short term renunciation is a "practice" run. Buddhists are extremely practical and take more of a view that the kid can learn something and gain merit. They will only eat once a day, get up early and spend all day meditating and studying: any extras given to lighten the load would be a good deed. Also, it is a nice feeling to give, whether or not to a monastic, I gave a tad more and felt great. Oops, I did wear my usual black but nobody got upset. Maybe they are used to the fact that I bumble through every single day with good intentions but not much grace.

[peterb17]

Enjoy the celebration, it just adds to to experiencing other cultures . I remember thinking that this would be a somber affair- but big party the night before- lots of food and drink ( as ever!)

Maybe as probably the only foreigner present- you may get a bit of attention or stares, but everyone will be friendly

Do not forget to try and catch the small coins thrown about as the novices enter the temple ( then always give them to the kids)

On these sorts of occasions I tend to take bags of sweets ( I know not good) for all the kids.

It is not expected for you to hand out loads of money- 500 max

Enjoy- it's a joyous occasion

[Basil B]

You might consider small gifts of towels,candles,flowers or a larger gift of orange robes,if you decide on robes you must buy expensive and the right height(size is measured by monks height), as the cheap ones do not last 12 months. Dress rules include covering your shoulders and upper legs.Money in envelope is also an option.

The OP's friends son is entering the brotherhood for 15 days, I do not think he will need more than one robe, two at the most, these will probably be given by his parents and certainly not of the quality to last a year or more, may even be "hand me downs", probably not really need much but will always be appreciative of a gift or money.

[poweratradio]

One thing I learnt from attending a similar ceremony was close to the end the new monks change their clothing from white pyjama style clothes to their orange robes in private in the company of senior monks and after that they will line up with those large donation bowls, they carry around ( i dont know the name of them ) and everyone files past and puts money in.

You are expected to give money to all the new monks equally not just to your friends son. It might seem obvious, but just in case you don't know

That seems very odd, isn't one of the Buddhist precepts a vow of poverty? I thought monks weren't supposed to even handle money, let alone take up a collection of it when entering the monk hood!

Yeah ask the one who built the golden statue whle flying around the world in a private jet. Are monks real??? My wifes uncle is a monk and he flits from being a monk to a street clothe wearing drunk back to robes and he also is a land speculator. With monks being caught in sex parties and drug orgies I must say painting the whole lot with the same brush is not that far fetched. I see it as a bunch of losers who were to scared to try and make a go of it in real life.

[Asiantravel]

One thing I learnt from attending a similar ceremony was close to the end the new monks change their clothing from white pyjama style clothes to their orange robes in private in the company of senior monks and after that they will line up with those large donation bowls, they carry around ( i dont know the name of them ) and everyone files past and puts money in.

You are expected to give money to all the new monks equally not just to your friends son. It might seem obvious, but just in case you don't know

That seems very odd, isn't one of the Buddhist precepts a vow of poverty? I thought monks weren't supposed to even handle money, let alone take up a collection of it when entering the monk hood!

Yeah ask the one who built the golden statue whle flying around the world in a private jet. Are monks real??? My wifes uncle is a monk and he flits from being a monk to a street clothe wearing drunk back to robes and he also is a land speculator. With monks being caught in sex parties and drug orgies I must say painting the whole lot with the same brush is not that far fetched. I see it as a bunch of losers who were to scared to try and make a go of it in real life.

In your case I think pigs will fly before you can be " enlightened "

[khaowong1]

OMGImInPattaya you must not have been in Thailand long.. Monks do handle money although most don't have enough in their pocket to buy a coke. The family does the most of handing out of money to the accompanying monks at the ceremony. Donating say 500 baht in a envelope to the family will go a long way. Putting a 100 baht in the new monks bowl after the ceremony is sufficient. I would suggest wearing long pants, but a nice classy pair of shorts is ok. no wife beater shirt, a nice polo shirt is good. Don't buy the orange plastic bucket. when you sit at the ceremony, if your not sitting in a chair, don't point your feet at the monks or the Buddha statue. it's disrespectful.. don't wear a hat inside the temple. photo's is allowed.

[khaowong1]

I've been invited to attend one today of her son going in for a week or so. I asked her about clothing and she said anything was fine except black. Hadn't really considered a gift...what would one give a monk who is renouncing all worldly goods and pleasures?

Your idea of renouncing all worldly goods and pleasures and Thai's idea of same is worlds apart. Becoming a monk for a week is like someone from the West going to a fat farm.. The only gift Thai's really appreciate is money.. Everybody, I'm talking about Thai's here because you are in Thailand, gives some money to either the new monks family and/or the new monk himself. Give some money, maybe 500 baht to the family, as it cost them a lot to have their son become a monk, sometimes more than a lot, then when the new monk walks around with his bowl, drop a 100 in his bowl.. Live with it.

[Basil B]

I've been invited to attend one today of her son going in for a week or so. I asked her about clothing and she said anything was fine except black. Hadn't really considered a gift...what would one give a monk who is renouncing all worldly goods and pleasures?

Your idea of renouncing all worldly goods and pleasures and Thai's idea of same is worlds apart. Becoming a monk for a week is like someone from the West going to a fat farm.. The only gift Thai's really appreciate is money.. Everybody, I'm talking about Thai's here because you are in Thailand, gives some money to either the new monks family and/or the new monk himself. Give some money, maybe 500 baht to the family, as it cost them a lot to have their son become a monk, sometimes more than a lot, then when the new monk walks around with his bowl, drop a 100 in his bowl.. Live with it.

As pointed out one should give to all monks equally, are you saying put 100B in every monks alms pot? Give 500B to the family and put 10 or 20B in each monks pot unless you are really loaded.

[khaowong1]

I've been invited to attend one today of her son going in for a week or so. I asked her about clothing and she said anything was fine except black. Hadn't really considered a gift...what would one give a monk who is renouncing all worldly goods and pleasures?

Your idea of renouncing all worldly goods and pleasures and Thai's idea of same is worlds apart. Becoming a monk for a week is like someone from the West going to a fat farm.. The only gift Thai's really appreciate is money.. Everybody, I'm talking about Thai's here because you are in Thailand, gives some money to either the new monks family and/or the new monk himself. Give some money, maybe 500 baht to the family, as it cost them a lot to have their son become a monk, sometimes more than a lot, then when the new monk walks around with his bowl, drop a 100 in his bowl.. Live with it.

As pointed out one should give to all monks equally, are you saying put 100B in every monks alms pot? Give 500B to the family and put 10 or 20B in each monks pot unless you are really loaded.

No, normally the family gives the money to the rest of the monks.. The family will pass out money in envelopes to the other monks present for the ceremony.. then after the ceremony, the newly ordained monk will either walk past the civilian people present with a bowl to collect "merit" money or sit on a pad somewhere and the civilian people will come up to him and put some money in his bowl. When I was ordained, I sat on a cushion in front of the Buddha statue in the temple and people would come up to me, wai, and put money in the bowl sitting in front of me. Other temples might be different, but you will now know the two ways it happens, sitting with a bowl or walking around with a bowl.

Give 500 baht to the family to help with expenses the give the new monk a 100 baht AFTER he becomes a monk..

[OMGImInPattaya]

Lots of useful advice here...funny thing, half the Thais showed up in BLACK trousers but at least no shorts. Going back again this morning at 8 am and hen they same I'm done

[easyride]

Thank you all for the advice. I've only got dark green trousers which might seen funereal otherwise it's shorts and flip-flops.

Should I make a donation to the family to pass around then sit back and enjoy the ceremony or donation and a few envelopes with 20 baht or so?

[khaowong1]

Thank you all for the advice. I've only got dark green trousers which might seen funereal otherwise it's shorts and flip-flops.

Should I make a donation to the family to pass around then sit back and enjoy the ceremony or donation and a few envelopes with 20 baht or so?

Make a donation to the family. Mother or Father... then sit back and enjoy the show.. when the newly ordained monk either makes his rounds with his alms bowl, or sits someplace with his robes on, AFTER the ceremony, then put your envelope with 20 baht or ever how much you want, in his bowl.. Dark green trousers is ok, and I'll bet you see both black trousers and shorts there worn by Thai's. It's probably the only color trousers they have. and some don't have trousers at all.

His Mother and Father probably spent upwards of 10,000 baht or more, sometimes much more, face you know, for their little bundle of joy to become a monk for a week, so give the largest amount of money to them to help defray the costs.

[Kasset Tak]

I would say 300-1000 to the family and then 20-100 to the newly ordained monk, it depends on the status of the family! I went to one ordination with a Thai friend and the the ordained monk was the son of the boss at the provincial school office. My friend gave 5000 to the family and 1000 to the newly ordained monk... I didn't give anything and they where happy anyway!

Edited June 22, 2014 by Kasset Tak

[khaowong1]

When I was ordained at Wat Phua U Dom in Lam Luk Kha in 2007, I received about 22,000 baht in donations.. I thought, Wow, I should ordain about once a week. And just for the record, I never received a satang after that. I moved to a temple in Lopburi in 2009, and my weekly donations usually added up to about 50 baht a week. And I gave that to the kids who lived at the temple for school.