Lousy Wedding

[lcp0761]

SUMMARY: My wife has instructed her family that I do not like/want family/friends to drop by for a social "get together" and definitely when we move to Thailand in 2017 "NO" Thai family will use our home as a place to crash (neither for a night or longer). Don't care if it causes a problem with the family but I/we are consistent that our home isn't a bed-n-breakfast hotel.

My wife understands I don't like any surprises and no drama. I am consistent and firm with these ways, no exceptions.

As she has two (2) great boys from a prior marriage, we have discussed to push them for a strong education and when old enough to attend college at our cost. Post their college graduation, they need to find a job and look for their own funded residence.

Post they getting married, we will not be taking care of their kids. If they need to have kids it is up to them to raise them in their home, not ours.

BACKGROUND: My wife & I have been married now for 5-years. I am from the US and she is a Thai National. Since our marriage, we annually travel back to Thailand where she has a nice house about 1-hour north of BKK (in Nakon Nayok). When I/we retire to Thailand in 2-years, I/we will be buying a house fairly close to an Expat community. We don't drink alcohol or smoke, and like sports.

I previously worked/lived in Thailand for 2.5 years and know the Thai family ways of wanting to crash at a relatives house and eat their food.

[Globeman]

Sigh, another complaint about Thai wedding gone bad. Out of curiosity, OP, if you were to have a good experience with this wedding, were you plan to let us know? Of course not, right?

Good news doesn't make it into newspapers...

[ATF]

OP. Still waiting on the news about the promised bitch fight between the mother in laws.

[ALFREDO]

And the moral of the story, unless its you own wedding, don't turn up at any outlaw's weddings in Thailand, send your teerak on their own, fake sickness if need be....that's what I do.

I would have loved not to show up, but the groom took a bus overnight to attend our wedding before taking another bus that next night back to Bangkok.

The wife just took off to the market to get food for everyone, so I am alone with the gaggle. I think it is going to be television in bed tonight. I'm not going downstaris until I've got to go to work in the morning.

Have three and a half (6 month pregnant) children in Thailand, with two women.

Come here since 1990 and live "mostly" here since 1998, never felt the obligation to marry and was never at a Thai wedding either.

I think I missed nothing, what is in my interest.

[David48]

I haven't read all 55 replies, but when I read out this story to my G.F. her theory was that the Groom may have got the Bride pregnant before they got married and this was a way for the Bride's parents to get back at him.

Just a theory but they definitely made the Grooms family loose face on purpose so there must be a reason behind that.

Tell your g/f she is right. I only found out when my wife came to bed last night.

Makes sense when the bride's family rushed the wedding to this last weekend.

A post from the OP worth reading again ...

[David48]

SUMMARY: My wife has instructed her family that I do not like/want family/friends to drop by for a social "get together" and definitely when we move to Thailand in 2017 "NO" Thai family will use our home as a place to crash (neither for a night or longer). Don't care if it causes a problem with the family but I/we are consistent that our home isn't a bed-n-breakfast hotel.

My wife understands I don't like any surprises and no drama. I am consistent and firm with these ways, no exceptions.

As she has two (2) great boys from a prior marriage, we have discussed to push them for a strong education and when old enough to attend college at our cost. Post their college graduation, they need to find a job and look for their own funded residence.

Post they getting married, we will not be taking care of their kids. If they need to have kids it is up to them to raise them in their home, not ours.

BACKGROUND: My wife & I have been married now for 5-years. I am from the US and she is a Thai National. Since our marriage, we annually travel back to Thailand where she has a nice house about 1-hour north of BKK (in Nakon Nayok). When I/we retire to Thailand in 2-years, I/we will be buying a house fairly close to an Expat community. We don't drink alcohol or smoke, and like sports.

I previously worked/lived in Thailand for 2.5 years and know the Thai family ways of wanting to crash at a relatives house and eat their food.

^ interesting story, but what it has that to do with the OP?

The OP is about, 2 people got married but the parents of the bride or groom didn't seem to like the parents of the other half or did you read a different OP?

Agreed ... some people just want to use any platform to display their Alpha maleness.

Must be a Big Ball member ...

[ericthai]

SUMMARY: My wife has instructed her family that I do not like/want family/friends to drop by for a social "get together" and definitely when we move to Thailand in 2017 "NO" Thai family will use our home as a place to crash (neither for a night or longer). Don't care if it causes a problem with the family but I/we are consistent that our home isn't a bed-n-breakfast hotel.

My wife understands I don't like any surprises and no drama. I am consistent and firm with these ways, no exceptions.

As she has two (2) great boys from a prior marriage, we have discussed to push them for a strong education and when old enough to attend college at our cost. Post their college graduation, they need to find a job and look for their own funded residence.

Post they getting married, we will not be taking care of their kids. If they need to have kids it is up to them to raise them in their home, not ours.

BACKGROUND: My wife & I have been married now for 5-years. I am from the US and she is a Thai National. Since our marriage, we annually travel back to Thailand where she has a nice house about 1-hour north of BKK (in Nakon Nayok). When I/we retire to Thailand in 2-years, I/we will be buying a house fairly close to an Expat community. We don't drink alcohol or smoke, and like sports.

I previously worked/lived in Thailand for 2.5 years and know the Thai family ways of wanting to crash at a relatives house and eat their food.

What does this have to do with the OP post?

Man I would not want to be your relative as you sound like an unfriendly person.

Are you really going to push your kids out of your house after school? Most people like to have their kids/family around. My friend visited from the US and he stayed at my place for a week, he bought all types of food, gave some cash to the maid for the extra work and tried to give me money for letting him stay with me. It was nice having a friend stay for awhile. Same my wife's family and friends stop in from time to time and stay 1 or 2 nights. Her sister comes and stays for a month or so when her son is out of school. It's great to see them and spend time with the nephew. Her sister is awesome, cleans the whole house so my wife doesn't have to do thing when she gets home from work. I enjoy when family and friends stop in for a day or two.

Hope you enjoy Thailand when you finally get to move.

[Somtamnication]

Note to self: stay away from weddings and only go on a two seater.

[daveAustin]

1, why didn't bride's mum send someone out to bring some khao back? Too tight?

2, when lights on red and no traffic coming through, jump them.

3, do not go to Thai weddings.

[smileydude]

Another moral of the story.

When you marry a thai girl you marry the entire family, relatives and inlaws and all their problems included. Sometimes you marry the entire village if it is close knit enough.

Best to just smile, keep your opinion to yourself and remain immune by feigning ignorance to culture and language.

Continue hiding and give your wife a nice back rub when she's done.

My conspiracy theory is that the lights are set in a way that we are not allowed to continously zoom at 120km non-stop so that we are tempted to stop by the numerous 7 Elevens along the route (Thai's love eating all the time anyways). Good for business.

Unwanted travelers is a tough one to avoid. Besides the suggested motorcycle as transportation another option might be to try not bathing for a week before going to weddings. I think freeloading hitchchikers would avoid the "farangmobile." Of course your wife would have to take her poy sian inhalant with her.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/173263-nose-inhaler/

Edited July 8, 2014 by smileydude

[luckizuchinni]

Some of you have requested updates. Not much to tell, though. We were up to nine "guests" camped out all over our living room, but they all boarded the train yesterday evening and have left. The fridge was pretty much cleaned out of Thai food, but my western food was untouched except for one can of Dr. Pepper 10 that was opened and sampled, but put back in the fridge almost full.

Before they left, the groom's family arranged for a dinner for all the groom's Bangkok-area guests, particularly the groom's police commander and other officers. The thinking was that his police career was going to suffer, especially as the commander had given a pretty hefty red envelope and had just given him 30,000 baht a couple of months ago when he did two months as a monk. They think they need rectify any ill-will, so there will be a nice shindig somewhere either this weekend or the next.

That's about it. My house is quiet, I can watch tv downstairs, I can use my kitchen, and my cat has emerged from the closet where it has been hiding since Sunday. All is well in the luckizuchinni household.

Edited July 8, 2014 by luckizuchinni

[David48]

OP ... no more likes left ... but appreciate the update ...

[glegolo]

You were too late, it is as simple as that. No weddings starts at hrs 11.00.... never heard about such a thing.... You were late and of course the food was gone....

Sorry but the fault was on you.... the rest is just misunderstanding from a unknowingly falang...

Glegolo

[bina]

actually laughed out loud;

my own wedding (im the 'second hand bride), he the village thai:

i planned a different wedding suit for me and him; my in laws changed it all.. but i didnt care.. they went out of their way to buy me roses for my hair (i hadnt realized how completely expensive roses are in middle of nowehrere korat);

the wedding started at 9:00 but noone told me anything, and my daughter (who ahd accompanied me from israel) who wanted to film the whole thing, didnt know the wedding was starting until all of a sudden i was called to sit on pillows in wei position for about two hours... it just sorted happended by itself, people kept talking, moving around etc...

that is very typically thai in these kind of events, been to a million here in isael also (tamboon, going home parties etc.), they just sort of start up.

never ever has food run out, or if a bit short, someone somewhere finds food from somewhere.

as for the little baggies, they dont ask, they get given as 'tamboon' part of receiving blessings from the party. we do it also. we always have extra food and always send food off with the people.

'hitching a ride'.. been there done that a zillion times, we are going to x place, but have to go thru Y place in the opposite direction, which i didnt know about until we are already in the car and i see we are going in the wrong direction. always get wei'd and told bye bye... its obvious that they are thankful, why do they have to speak it? often get given bunches of veggies or cold drinks along the way. or get cash for the fuel.

also in thailand, we took along someone, i thought to go to market, actually to a two hour away town to collect some funds... then to make it up (i was hot and irritated) the hitchhiker sprung for lunch...

all done in an easy going non verbal way.

people invade your house? just start cleaning around them, washing dishes, moving stuff. thais clear out fast when they notice, and u dont have to say a word. for ten years now ive had farm labourer thias coming and going in my house in israel, like little issaan, and i almost never had the amount of problems that people on this board do... sometimes the opposite. i like when we have visitors and ahve no problem having mattresses on the dining room floor or in a spare bedroom, but find they 'greng jai' and dont always want to stay cause it might bother me.

as for this particular wedding, definately sounds like a non too sublte message sent to the groom or whatever, and now he's stuck forking otu more money for a big splash to make face again.....

real soap operas are always so much better

[mesquite]

SUMMARY: My wife has instructed her family that I do not like/want family/friends to drop by for a social "get together" and definitely when we move to Thailand in 2017 "NO" Thai family will use our home as a place to crash (neither for a night or longer). Don't care if it causes a problem with the family but I/we are consistent that our home isn't a bed-n-breakfast hotel.

My wife understands I don't like any surprises and no drama. I am consistent and firm with these ways, no exceptions.

As she has two (2) great boys from a prior marriage, we have discussed to push them for a strong education and when old enough to attend college at our cost. Post their college graduation, they need to find a job and look for their own funded residence.

Post they getting married, we will not be taking care of their kids. If they need to have kids it is up to them to raise them in their home, not ours.

BACKGROUND: My wife & I have been married now for 5-years. I am from the US and she is a Thai National. Since our marriage, we annually travel back to Thailand where she has a nice house about 1-hour north of BKK (in Nakon Nayok). When I/we retire to Thailand in 2-years, I/we will be buying a house fairly close to an Expat community. We don't drink alcohol or smoke, and like sports.

I previously worked/lived in Thailand for 2.5 years and know the Thai family ways of wanting to crash at a relatives house and eat their food.

What does this have to do with the OP post?

Man I would not want to be your relative as you sound like an unfriendly person.

Are you really going to push your kids out of your house after school? Most people like to have their kids/family around. My friend visited from the US and he stayed at my place for a week, he bought all types of food, gave some cash to the maid for the extra work and tried to give me money for letting him stay with me. It was nice having a friend stay for awhile. Same my wife's family and friends stop in from time to time and stay 1 or 2 nights. Her sister comes and stays for a month or so when her son is out of school. It's great to see them and spend time with the nephew. Her sister is awesome, cleans the whole house so my wife doesn't have to do thing when she gets home from work. I enjoy when family and friends stop in for a day or two.

Hope you enjoy Thailand when you finally get to move.

Well, it's somewhat related as the OP had a gaggle of relatives show up at his house after the wedding.

Anyway, lcp may sound harsh, but laying down the law in a very clear manner is necessary IMHO. Every married farang I know is constantly having to work at keeping the family at bay. Some succeed, most don't. It can really get out of hand.

[luckizuchinni]

You were too late, it is as simple as that. No weddings starts at hrs 11.00.... never heard about such a thing.... You were late and of course the food was gone....

Sorry but the fault was on you.... the rest is just misunderstanding from a unknowingly falang...

Glegolo

So I guess the 11:00 written on the map was wrong? Or the police contingent "misunderstood" as well? Or the groom's family, for that matter?

As the only westerner there, and one who just went where and when he was told--by Thais--I guess the fault really was mine as the "unknowingly (sic) falang." I guess I'd better tell all the groom's relatives who were so upset that it was all the foreigner's fault so blame me and not the bride's family.

[benalibina]

You were too late, it is as simple as that. No weddings starts at hrs 11.00.... never heard about such a thing.... You were late and of course the food was gone....

Sorry but the fault was on you.... the rest is just misunderstanding from a unknowingly falang...

Glegolo

So I guess the 11:00 written on the map was wrong? Or the police contingent "misunderstood" as well? Or the groom's family, for that matter?

As the only westerner there, and one who just went where and when he was told--by Thais--I guess the fault really was mine as the "unknowingly (sic) falang." I guess I'd better tell all the groom's relatives who were so upset that it was all the foreigner's fault so blame me and not the bride's family.

Correct.

[geronimo]

Find the highest bulding and jump!!

[thelongshoot]

I guess we'll never understand Thainess ... (-:

What is this have to do with Thainess?

I cant imagine anything like this happening at a European wedding..... Be honest, the whole thing is very Thai indeed.

Brilliant story by the way made me howl.

[thelongshoot]

No local shops?

No local market?

Nobody with a barbecue or rice cooker?

Nobody had the phone number for a mobile noodle m/c stand?

Just sounds strange.

KFC deliver, so do McDonald's or even pizza hut

The closest one is probably 70 km away in Rayong, so no, I don't think so. I saw a 7-11 35 km away in Klaeng, though, so there was that.

When I saw the title in the news letter I thought it was your wedding. Luckily not.

zuchinni, I know approximately the area you describe. Just past the Khao Chamao turn off, right? Its mostly farms out there and the people can be a bit rough.

Not all Thai are generous. How many times have we not read stories here of country folks who are just straight up rude? They can be cheap skates too.

Also, you took the wrong way to get there.What you should have done was get off the 7 right after the toll gate (Ban Bueng) and taken the 344. It goes straight down to Klaeng. Just one light. You took the long way round. The 3 from Pattaya to Rayong does suck big-time. There is a new Lotus in Klaeng, but after that there is FA. Vegetables are more expensive down there for some strange reason.

I don't understand why people say to stay away from Thai weddings. They can be fun.

They can be fun? Flimsy plastic tables and chairs. The food looks like someone swept it out of the lake by hand and dumped it in a bowl. That bloody awful Thai Whisky that you are obliged to drink in the 36 degree daytime heat and a whole bunch of gormless people watching your every move.

Zero banter as there is no one to banter with apart from the local village idiot that insists you dance to folk music with him/her, and a rambling stiff looking Thai chap with no humor or personality droning away on a microphone for 30 minutes repeating 'na krup' at the end of every word, through a PA system turned up to 11 with speakers the size of a house 5 feet from your table.

No funny best man speech. No funny Groom speech. No good booze and definatley no Champagne or wine. No half decent brides made that you can chat up because if you do, Somchai will drag you into a field and bury you and absolutely no idea what the hell is going on or why on earth you are there in the first place. You feel so out of place that you wouldnt feel any less awkward if you stood in the middle of the stage with your penis hanging out of your fly.

Great fun!

But that's just my experience

[BillyBobThai]

Living in Thailand is better than 'Dallas', isn't it ? !

But Dallas has better BBQ.

[Merryman88]

Sounds like a Sin Sod problem, been there done that got the tee shirt .

Merryman88

[EvilDrSomkid]

They can be fun? Flimsy plastic tables and chairs. The food looks like someone swept it out of the lake by hand and dumped it in a bowl. That bloody awful Thai Whisky that you are obliged to drink in the 36 degree daytime heat and a whole bunch of gormless people watching your every move.

Zero banter as there is no one to banter with apart from the local village idiot that insists you dance to folk music with him/her, and a rambling stiff looking Thai chap with no humor or personality droning away on a microphone for 30 minutes repeating 'na krup' at the end of every word, through a PA system turned up to 11 with speakers the size of a house 5 feet from your table.

No funny best man speech. No funny Groom speech. No good booze and definatley no Champagne or wine. No half decent brides made that you can chat up because if you do, Somchai will drag you into a field and bury you and absolutely no idea what the hell is going on or why on earth you are there in the first place. You feel so out of place that you wouldnt feel any less awkward if you stood in the middle of the stage with your penis hanging out of your fly.

Great fun!

But that's just my experience

I have been to one of those.

Flimsy tables and chairs? Check

Horrible looking food? Check

Horrible Thai whisky? As long as it s not Hong Tong, I'm OK. Besides, I brought some Black label

36degrees? Nah, just 32.

Boring speeches? Yup. That's why you get drunk.

Some people watched me and engaged me in conversation, but was not forced to dance. However, most Thai don't give a crap about whiteys.

[mesquite]

They can be fun? Flimsy plastic tables and chairs. The food looks like someone swept it out of the lake by hand and dumped it in a bowl. That bloody awful Thai Whisky that you are obliged to drink in the 36 degree daytime heat and a whole bunch of gormless people watching your every move.

Zero banter as there is no one to banter with apart from the local village idiot that insists you dance to folk music with him/her, and a rambling stiff looking Thai chap with no humor or personality droning away on a microphone for 30 minutes repeating 'na krup' at the end of every word, through a PA system turned up to 11 with speakers the size of a house 5 feet from your table.

No funny best man speech. No funny Groom speech. No good booze and definatley no Champagne or wine. No half decent brides made that you can chat up because if you do, Somchai will drag you into a field and bury you and absolutely no idea what the hell is going on or why on earth you are there in the first place. You feel so out of place that you wouldnt feel any less awkward if you stood in the middle of the stage with your penis hanging out of your fly.

Great fun!

But that's just my experience

I have been to one of those.

Flimsy tables and chairs? Check

Horrible looking food? Check

Horrible Thai whisky? As long as it s not Hong Tong, I'm OK. Besides, I brought some Black label

36degrees? Nah, just 32.

Boring speeches? Yup. That's why you get drunk.

Some people watched me and engaged me in conversation, but was not forced to dance. However, most Thai don't give a crap about whiteys.

last line says it all

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[belg]

went to several hi-so weddings with wife & kids in the most expensive hotels (face) to keep such a weddings... if you are late, aka, dont show up in advance, they also run out of 'good' food and you are left with leftovers and soda... one time, the place was so crowded, you could hardly move and off course, the food ran out pretty quickly...Ending up in the drive true of macdo to fill the stomac a bit.

[ableguy]

Sorry it might have been a badly arranged wedding but a lot of your story sounds exaggerated.[/

another armchair know it all.

[Dancealot]

@luckizuchinni: That's a very entertaining and realistic report. Thank you.

Next time when your patience is being tested, please write down and share your frustrations here.

[Gutenberg]

Updates?

Did the cop lose his job?

[mcfish]

SUMMARY: My wife has instructed her family that I do not like/want family/friends to drop by for a social "get together" and definitely when we move to Thailand in 2017 "NO" Thai family will use our home as a place to crash (neither for a night or longer). Don't care if it causes a problem with the family but I/we are consistent that our home isn't a bed-n-breakfast hotel.

My wife understands I don't like any surprises and no drama. I am consistent and firm with these ways, no exceptions.

As she has two (2) great boys from a prior marriage, we have discussed to push them for a strong education and when old enough to attend college at our cost. Post their college graduation, they need to find a job and look for their own funded residence.

Post they getting married, we will not be taking care of their kids. If they need to have kids it is up to them to raise them in their home, not ours.

BACKGROUND: My wife & I have been married now for 5-years. I am from the US and she is a Thai National. Since our marriage, we annually travel back to Thailand where she has a nice house about 1-hour north of BKK (in Nakon Nayok). When I/we retire to Thailand in 2-years, I/we will be buying a house fairly close to an Expat community. We don't drink alcohol or smoke, and like sports.

I previously worked/lived in Thailand for 2.5 years and know the Thai family ways of wanting to crash at a relatives house and eat their food.

Look up the word narcissist.. And count how many times you said the word " I"

Sent from my SC-01D using Tapatalk

[Blackheart]

It's your house you say, and you don't want the five people there yet they remain and your hiding upstairs unhappy in your home.

Think about that,lol