Help! Trying to convince my wife we should stay in Thailand

[zierf1]

I'm not sure what my wife is thinking.  When I tell her about the salaries here in farangland I think she thinks we must be living high on the hog here.  Maybe for a Thai living in Thailand 100-200k baht a month is big bux but not here!  There are no 3,000 baht a month apartments.  A tiny apartment in a big city will be 10x that amount.  There are no foodstalls selling all-you-can-eat for 40 baht.  Taxes take a huge chunk out of our paychecks.  I need a car to get anywhere.  I'd gladly take a huge pay cut to live in Thailand and I'd still come out ahead.  Basically, we'd have the same lifestyle on far less in Thailand.  The hard part is trying to explain to her this simple situation!

[mrtoad]

Good luck on that

[Costas2008]

The wife is always right.

Do as she says.

[Pomthai]

Yep, grass greener and all that.

 

Well, it isn't if you really look at it objectively.

 

[Thongkorn]

The first pay slip My wife got, there was tax taken from her pay. She said whats the tax for, I said for schools, Hospitals , police. Public Libraries. She said i thought they where free, I just said welcome to England. Her family does not understand, i have to pay for a TV licence just to watch TV,  or that i have to pay for Gas Electric water, community tax just to get my bins emptied twice a month. Also they do not realize that money does not grow on trees here, So i am with you on trying to explain about the cost in relation to Thailand.

Edited August 3, 2014 by Thongkorn

[David48]

OP, zierf1 ... how old are you?

 

How long have you been married?

 

In your courting days, months, years ... did you not once travel to the old country?

 

Has your wife even been out of Thailand?

 

Has your wife even been cold?

 

Are you English?

 

Good luck getting a Visa.

[antifagasto]

get her to buy raw food ingredients, cook, do dishes, wash clothes, ironing, general cleaning for the whole family every day for a month. if she thinks thats ok then she is ready

Edited August 3, 2014 by antifagasto

[Cypress Hill]

I'm not surprised he's having trouble convincing his wife. I'm having trouble figuring out what his current situation is going by his explanation . . . and I speak the same lingo

 

He says he'd gladly "take a huge pay cut to live in Thailand" so do we assume he currently lives in Farangland?

 

If so, should we assume his wife lives in Thailand?

 

It sounds as though he's making a case for moving TO Thailand, not staying

 

[mrtoad]

I'm not surprised he's having trouble convincing his wife. I'm having trouble figuring out what his current situation is going by his explanation . . . and I speak the same lingo
 
He says he'd gladly "take a huge pay cut to live in Thailand" so do we assume he currently lives in Farangland?
 
If so, should we assume his wife lives in Thailand?
 
It sounds as though he's making a case for moving TO Thailand, not staying
 

I am having the same difficulty.

I assume his wife is in Thailand at present. I would also assume she won't be too keen on being paced off to a 3,000 baht a month apartment either

The OP needs to consider many things before thinking the grass is greener, otherwise he's ripe for joining the Pattaya Condo Diving Association.

[David48]

OP's posting history ...  want-to-live-in-thailand-but-only-33

 

 

What are my options?  I'd like to live part year in Thailand with my Thai wife.  What is the max number of visa days I can obtain at my age?  I haven't done the ED visa yet but that does has it's limits and I'd like to keep it for a rainy day.

 

I lived in Thailand before for several years but I was doing the overstay thingie. lol.  Obviously I can't do that again.  I'd like to keep it legal this time(i have to).

 

Thanks.

 

 

how-much-is-enough-for-the-wifes-monthly-allowance

 

 

I send my Thai wife about 15k baht a month.  Is this enough? She always spends it quickly and always needs more for something such as for her family back home.  I don't want to be a lousy provider but I'm also not made out of money.  How much is enough?  FYI, she was never a bar girl if that's what you're thinking. Just a normal Thai lady.

 

10 posts -> 4 OPs

 

He's only 33, but lived in Thailand before for several years, married to a Thai person, but the live separately, he's still in the West.

 

Members like this need as much advice as we can provide ... 

.

[RolandRat]

Yeaaaahhhhh, not advice he needs its a dose of common sense and decide whose wearing the pants in that relationship.
He controls the visa and the purse strings, sounds like he needs advice on how to educate her as to the realities.
Sure you can earn more but things on average cost 5 x more in the UK. Edited August 3, 2014 by RolandRat

[smokie36]

What you have here is an ignorance of the realities of life in the West.

OP I assume she has never been to your home country so.....

Invite her in the coldest month....
Spend your days working twelve hours and flopping on the sofa with a ready meal for two from your worst supermarket each night.

If it rains or even better snows insist on needing to go out for pointless reasons.....show her your monthly income/expenditure etc.....

In short if she still ain't got it after a month take her to a job centre and show her how much the jobs pay in relation to her contribution to bills etc.....


Personally I think the snow will nail it in five minutes.......worked for me lol!

[losgrad]

If David48's quotes are correct, then I don't think educating her on the financials of living in the West vs. SEA is the issue.  If she can't manage on 15k baht a month which is more than what most full-time factory workers make, then she has been given some high expectations of being married and possibly even higher expectations of what a Western country Visa would open to her. 

 

Be very careful.  By the way, does she also work to supplement her 15k baht monthly allowance?   Did you do a pre-nuptial contract?

 

Enjoy the learning curve.

 

 

[mad mary]

With all the visa crackdowns and the shite education system (if you have kids or planning on having) The UK is a better place for you ...TBH I can't understand why anyone would want to live in Thailand ATM,the place is a mess!

[claffey]

I think he needs to move to Thai and live with his wife...whats the point in being married if you dont live with your wife???
I lived in thai for six years.returned to europe for the last 3 yrs...I came back from thai with 10,000 euros...I now owe almost 20000 euros to various banks!! Im returning to thai in a few weeks and I, ll have my debts paid off in a few yrs...in europe you work to pay the bills.in thailand you have more disposable income depending on your occupation of course....move to thai and live with your wife....also, the thai community in thr UK is, in general, not the kind of community you would want your wife becoming part of..its full of bargirls and gold diggers...I recently went to a thai restaurant in kent.3 Issan women in 30's were comparing and selling gold necklaces to each other at one table..they spent 50 quid between them on half wasted food too..their 3 husbands arrived in ti collect them then...all in mid 60's...this is typical of thai community in UK.the exception are some thai restaurant workers...move to Thai and meet people you can trustK

[MrWorldwide]

I think he needs to move to Thai and live with his wife...whats the point in being married if you dont live with your wife???
I lived in thai for six years.returned to europe for the last 3 yrs...I came back from thai with 10,000 euros...I now owe almost 20000 euros to various banks!! Im returning to thai in a few weeks and I, ll have my debts paid off in a few yrs...in europe you work to pay the bills.in thailand you have more disposable income depending on your occupation of course....move to thai and live with your wife....also, the thai community in thr UK is, in general, not the kind of community you would want your wife becoming part of..its full of bargirls and gold diggers...I recently went to a thai restaurant in kent.3 Issan women in 30's were comparing and selling gold necklaces to each other at one table..they spent 50 quid between them on half wasted food too..their 3 husbands arrived in ti collect them then...all in mid 60's...this is typical of thai community in UK.the exception are some thai restaurant workers...move to Thai and meet people you can trustK

 

Not sure where to start with this post, other than to point out the blindingly obvious - you saved more money in Thailand than you can in Europe and you trust people more in Thailand than you do in Europe. Certainly a very original POV on this forum. 

[claffey]

I think he needs to move to Thai and live with his wife...whats the point in being married if you dont live with your wife???
I lived in thai for six years.returned to europe for the last 3 yrs...I came back from thai with 10,000 euros...I now owe almost 20000 euros to various banks!! Im returning to thai in a few weeks and I, ll have my debts paid off in a few yrs...in europe you work to pay the bills.in thailand you have more disposable income depending on your occupation of course....move to thai and live with your wife....also, the thai community in thr UK is, in general, not the kind of community you would want your wife becoming part of..its full of bargirls and gold diggers...I recently went to a thai restaurant in kent.3 Issan women in 30's were comparing and selling gold necklaces to each other at one table..they spent 50 quid between them on half wasted food too..their 3 husbands arrived in ti collect them then...all in mid 60's...this is typical of thai community in UK.the exception are some thai restaurant workers...move to Thai and meet people you can trustK

 
Not sure where to start with this post, other than to point out the blindingly obvious - you saved more money in Thailand than you can in Europe and you trust people more in Thailand than you do in Europe. Certainly a very original POV on this forum. 

The OP was looking for advice.I used some examples from my own situation...whereas you have contributed nothing...

[claffey]

I think he needs to move to Thai and live with his wife...whats the point in being married if you dont live with your wife???
I lived in thai for six years.returned to europe for the last 3 yrs...I came back from thai with 10,000 euros...I now owe almost 20000 euros to various banks!! Im returning to thai in a few weeks and I, ll have my debts paid off in a few yrs...in europe you work to pay the bills.in thailand you have more disposable income depending on your occupation of course....move to thai and live with your wife....also, the thai community in thr UK is, in general, not the kind of community you would want your wife becoming part of..its full of bargirls and gold diggers...I recently went to a thai restaurant in kent.3 Issan women in 30's were comparing and selling gold necklaces to each other at one table..they spent 50 quid between them on half wasted food too..their 3 husbands arrived in ti collect them then...all in mid 60's...this is typical of thai community in UK.the exception are some thai restaurant workers...move to Thai and meet people you can trustK

 
Not sure where to start with this post, other than to point out the blindingly obvious - you saved more money in Thailand than you can in Europe and you trust people more in Thailand than you do in Europe. Certainly a very original POV on this forum. 

The OP is about a comparison of salaries/ lifestyles in west vs thai...cant you read... ive obviously used some examples from my own experiences to highlight my opinion that Thai is a better place to live...perhaps I should use more basic language next time...

[hellohello123]

I think he needs to move to Thai and live with his wife...whats the point in being married if you dont live with your wife???
I lived in thai for six years.returned to europe for the last 3 yrs...I came back from thai with 10,000 euros...I now owe almost 20000 euros to various banks!! Im returning to thai in a few weeks and I, ll have my debts paid off in a few yrs...in europe you work to pay the bills.in thailand you have more disposable income depending on your occupation of course....move to thai and live with your wife....also, the thai community in thr UK is, in general, not the kind of community you would want your wife becoming part of..its full of bargirls and gold diggers...I recently went to a thai restaurant in kent.3 Issan women in 30's were comparing and selling gold necklaces to each other at one table..they spent 50 quid between them on half wasted food too..their 3 husbands arrived in ti collect them then...all in mid 60's...this is typical of thai community in UK.the exception are some thai restaurant workers...move to Thai and meet people you can trustK

Exactly! If you are even sending money monthly then you are a complete moron. Or maybe you really believe you are such a hansum man
And if your wife is thinking that money grows on trees in the west, where every farang walking down the street looks like brad Pitt, maybe she expects Santa Claus as well, then you also have rocks in your head

[geronimo]

She sees it from a different perspective than you and it will be very difficult to shift her on this. Good luck!

[96tehtarp]

You don't need to convince her of anything. That's the wrong approach.

 

Instead, tell her how it is going to be. If she doesn't like it; tell her you are willing to divorce her if she wants that.

 

Married and living apart is very difficult.

 

OP you are going to need to sort this out.

[NanLaew]

The OP talks of 'bux' (bucks?) and apartments so I would assume he is from the US of A.

 

If so, he just needs to tell his wife the realities of her getting a visa for the US like the 3-year wait.

[Jasun]

Tell her there is a lot of walking involved.

[antifagasto]

if she never been then yes same as you coming to thailand, having a look and experience is something that needs to be done. she can change her mind herself as many thai do when OS reality strikes. there is also the spending the winter months in thailand and the summers months in farang land. works for many

[craigt3365]

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[benj005]

My girlfriend showed me a figure that she was expecting to make in America. $5,000 a month! I just shook my head and deducted a zero. I told her she might make $500 a month. If she's lucky. Regular Americans have difficulty making $2,000 a month let alone $5,000.

Keep your wife or girlfriends expectations low. That's what I try to do. Also, be honest. The roads aren't paved with gold in America. With hard work and time we can make a nice living. Edited August 4, 2014 by benj005

[benj005]

The OP talks of 'bux' (bucks?) and apartments so I would assume he is from the US of A.
 
If so, he just needs to tell his wife the realities of her getting a visa for the US like the 3-year wait.

A three year wait?

Even if you're married?

[slipperylobster]

Split your income in half and send her to farangland alone.  You will be fine, she will come back soon.

[craigt3365]

My girlfriend showed me a figure that she was expecting to make in America. $5,000 a month! I just shook my head and deducted a zero. I told her she might make $500 a month. If she's lucky. Regular Americans have difficulty making $2,000 a month let alone $5,000.

Keep your wife or girlfriends expectations low. That's what I try to do. Also, be honest. The roads aren't paved with gold in America. With hard work and time we can make a nice living.

 

I've got a few friends whose wives are making around $10/hour or so.  Waitress job.  Tips can be good if you are in the right restaurant.  So you are right, making $2,000 a month will be tough.  Then you need to deduct taxes, social security, etc.

 

Too funny about your comment on gold roads.  My wife thought the exact same thing.  Didn't take long for that expectation to change!  A one time trip to Harlem and she was ready to go back to Thailand! 55555

 

But she was quite happy to sit at home and watch TV while I was working my butt off.  We're back here now and we debate on whether to go back or not.  It's a 50/50 thing for us.  There are many positives for living back home...and many positives for living here!  Not an easy decision.

[craigt3365]

 

The OP talks of 'bux' (bucks?) and apartments so I would assume he is from the US of A.
 
If so, he just needs to tell his wife the realities of her getting a visa for the US like the 3-year wait.

A three year wait?

Even if you're married?

 

 

A 3 year wait for US citizenship.  Probably 4-6 months to get a visa to go to the US.  Green card follows fairly quickly after that.

 

The weather is a big deal.  If you are from the northern states, winters are tough.  Some Thai gals can handle it, others can't.  Along with life in a big US city.  Quite the culture shock.