Being Sued By Ex

[TonyFinnsFinlay]

You married the wrong woman... stop whining about your situation (which solves nothing)...

Sit her down and say you will give her 100,000 baht the day the divorce decree is signed and choke the 100K up to experience...

If you are still sleeping with her... As Judge Judy says... "Get out of my courtroom!..."

The guy is asking for advice. He's not moaning.

Thanks

[TonyFinnsFinlay]

This is a scam. You have passed your sell by date. She thinks she has you by the balls, but you hold all the cards. Truth be known she badly wants a divorce so she can move on to the next poor bastar'd.

Play it cool. Tell her you will only communicate by email in the future - refuse her calls. Tell her you don't love her anymore. Tell her you have no intention of granting her a divorce. Tell her that you are not responsible in anyway and that her bf can pay. Tell her you are moving to the Philippines and don't want to meet her ever again. As soon as she realises you have flown and have no intention of providing further funds, she will beg you to sign divorce papers. IMO.

You are spot on there mate. Not that I am running away from my ex but believe me like many others I am considering the phillipines.

[TonyFinnsFinlay]

The loan sharks usually have collateral and it isn't the rich farang husband. It's a wicked business loaning money to these women for gambling and most often involves land and houses. Don't ask me how, but it can even be land they don't own. Example: Mothers land.....Cars sometimes but doubt often.

Yes she has her own house and may well have put that up for collateral, perhaps I should sue her for 50% of the house?? just kidding but that would hurt eh!!

[BruceMangosteen]

You are spot on there mate. Not that I am running away from my ex but believe me like many others I am considering the phillipines.

Those who consider the Philippines have lost all control of their emotions and grit. Thailand is a challenge and takes courage to leap through all the hoops. There is an air of order here. Stick it out mate, don't go to the land of raw sewage.

[BruceMangosteen]

Yes she has her own house and may well have put that up for collateral, perhaps I should sue her for 50% of the house?? just kidding but that would hurt eh!!

Farangs can't own houses, they only pay for them. If you paid for the house, the money is gone forever, married or not.

[iancnx]

A chanot (land title deed) or a car registration document will almost certainly be in place even for a shark loan. I suspect in reality there is no debt whatsoever, she is just playing you. You hold the cards; she will be begging you for a divorce - shel'll meet you wherever you say and most likely love you long time in order to get you to the Amphur to get the divorce certificate in her little greasy mitts!

[Bernard Flint]

When you divorce any assets and debt that were acquired during the marriage will be split 50/50.

Are the debts legitimate ones or ones that came through a loan shark ?

Her debts are from gambling, being lazy not working and all from loan sharks

Lets hope she has not told them you are the guarantor for the loans.

Last I heard she was blacklisted from the sharks but even if my name was use as guarantor I am sure they are not holding there breath for me to pay up??

They will want their money back and not care who it comes from.

I agree mate. Might be an idea for the guy to make plans to relocate and not let her or any of her friends know where to

Best idea so far, just go quick,

[hotsoup]

Some good advice here. But you need to keep a clear head.

I would move, disappear, change as many of your personal info as you can,quick, at the same time file for divorce. Perfectly possible to file through a lawyer and make sure he only has proxy addresses and substitute phones.

Are you absolutely sure that your name appears on no document and that you guaranteed nothing and that you acquired no assets during marriage?. It may be that she acquired 'assets' but you will never access those! Everything you acquired before marriage is yours including sources of income.

I would not meet and I would not pay 1B

Get out of there. No sentimentality for the past. You'll be stitched up.

You will have no problems at immigration..PS what Visa have you been/are on?

Edited August 24, 2014 by hotsoup

[bertty]

Why does it take marriage to work how just how wrong some of these women are?

Then once rid of her, Well that was a disaster, I think I'll do it again.

[ttthailand]

Offer her nothing and the pain and problems will continue as she is in a bind and will not end the relationship. If you can afford it, I would offer her half (50k) with the understanding that she meets you to sign all papers. Once signed you pay and end of story. Change your numbers and move to other city.

It will cost you something one way or another so best to take your lumps and end it now !

That's exactly what I would do even if I thought that I could get away without paying. Look at it as an expensive traffic ticket... you were moving too fast and got caught.

Pay and move on ! Life is too short !!!

[ttthailand]

Another thing to think about is what will she do now ? With the way Thailand operates she may get a few credit cards and run up some bills while you are still married and you may be then responsible for half.

Give her 50k to sign divorce papers and move on....

[stgrhe]

Any remaining debts that the wife had prior your wedding is her own debt. Any debt thereafter is common debt, both of you are responsible. The same applies to assets.

[96tehtarp]

Any remaining debts that the wife had prior your wedding is her own debt. Any debt thereafter is common debt, both of you are responsible. The same applies to assets.

AFAIK this is correct.

I've two different ways to suggest for dealing with this situation for the OP.

1). Take your wife and go to the Amphur urgently and divorce her right then and there. It will all be over within 30 minutes or less. Then you are done. The divorce agreement will state what appears above in the quoted text. You will not be required to pay anything at the divorce for debts etc. It is simply a divorce agreement. Collection of monies for common debts after the divorce is a separate matter entirely.

2). If your wife balks or flinches at the thought of a quick divorce as stated above take the advice given by iancnx in post #30 of this thread. You could also taunt her by asking for 200k baht from her before you will sign the divorce papers.

Option 2). is somewhat tongue in cheek.

Know that she could run up massive debts between now and the time you get your divorce and you will be responsible for half of everything she has borrowed. You are at risk. You don't need a lawyer to get a divorce. I recommend that you make a preliminary visit to the Amphur alone and talk to them first about your plans to divorce. They can walk you through the very simple process. This way you will be better prepared when you return to the amphur together with your wife to get divorced.

She can't sue you for anything, however the creditors for your common debts can sue you for collection of your share, even after you are divorced. e.g force the sale of a condominium or automobile you may own in the future.

Good luck.

Edited August 24, 2014 by 96tehtarp

[Gumballl]

You married the wrong woman... stop whining about your situation (which solves nothing)...

Sit her down and say you will give her 100,000 baht the day the divorce decree is signed and choke the 100K up to experience...

If you are still sleeping with her... As Judge Judy says... "Get out of my courtroom!..."

Why give her even 1 satang?

The OP should just walk way, unannounced, from the entire ordeal. No phone calls, no Emails... no comms whatsoever to the wife.

[scorecard]

Don't listen to the arm chair lawyers on TV, post your question in the 'ask the lawyer' thread and get some solid / correct answers.

[liddelljohn]

sh does not have a leg to stand on but its best you move on quietly and dont let her know where u are

she will end up in a bar to pay her debts and find a new sucker to fleece

[scorecard]

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Any remaining debts that the wife had prior your wedding is her own debt. Any debt thereafter is common debt, both of you are responsible. The same applies to assets.

AFAIK this is correct.

I've two different ways to suggest for dealing with this situation for the OP.

1). Take your wife and go to the Amphur urgently and divorce her right then and there. It will all be over within 30 minutes or less. Then you are done. The divorce agreement will state what appears above in the quoted text. You will not be required to pay anything at the divorce for debts etc. It is simply a divorce agreement. Collection of monies for common debts after the divorce is a separate matter entirely.

2). If your wife balks or flinches at the thought of a quick divorce as stated above take the advice given by iancnx in post #30 of this thread. You could also taunt her by asking for 200k baht from her before you will sign the divorce papers.

Option 2). is somewhat tongue in cheek.

Know that she could run up massive debts between now and the time you get your divorce and you will be responsible for half of everything she has borrowed. You are at risk. You don't need a lawyer to get a divorce. I recommend that you make a preliminary visit to the Amphur alone and talk to them first about your plans to divorce. They can walk you through the very simple process. This way you will be better prepared when you return to the amphur together with your wife to get divorced.

She can't sue you for anything, however the creditors for your common debts can sue you for collection of your share, even after you are divorced. e.g force the sale of a condominium or automobile you may own in the future.

Good luck.

Post your question in the 'ask the lawyer' thread here in TV and get some correct answers before you go to the amphur office.

Why, because plenty of the amphur staff don't really / fully know the law on these points but will make arbitrary comments on what you HAVE TO DO.

Be prepared.

[marstons]

OP ... do you plan on marrying again? If not..... forget it.... walk

If you do want to get married again.... divorce is pretty simple.... we are talking 100K here.... it's not a huge price to pay.. maybe it is better to pay and be done with her... who knows? I guess this is a question only you can answer

as for Immigration, I don't know the answer to that... others will.

The 100k is what she wants for a divorce, and yes I do want to marry again but not in Thailand. The only worry is immigration, Yes I will walk away have no contact with her but I want to know if she can legally make waves at immigration. Remember no house no kids no finances tied up anywhere that she would be demaning 50/50 on.

From my knowledge she would have to make a civil claim against you and that means putting money up front and also paying an amount should she loose to cover your legal costs, so very very very doubtful. In the 15 years I have lived here seen loan sharks see the ladies debt as part of the farang she is with debts. They usually only get these debts as they have a farang in tow. Had several friends cars and trucks taken and had to pay to get them back to pay off the debt. Its illegal but try getting help off the police.

Just go down South no contact and you will 99% be ok.

[MobileContent]

Get a divorce as quickly as possible and offer how some money.

If she is a farmer and has land she could get a loan with BAAC and you might be responsible for it. She could also get a CC and you are again 50% responsible for it.

[Robby nz]

OP ... do you plan on marrying again? If not..... forget it.... walk

If you do want to get married again.... divorce is pretty simple.... we are talking 100K here.... it's not a huge price to pay.. maybe it is better to pay and be done with her... who knows? I guess this is a question only you can answer

as for Immigration, I don't know the answer to that... others will.

The 100k is what she wants for a divorce, and yes I do want to marry again but not in Thailand. The only worry is immigration, Yes I will walk away have no contact with her but I want to know if she can legally make waves at immigration. Remember no house no kids no finances tied up anywhere that she would be demaning 50/50 on.

Why do you want to marry again ?

How many lessons do you need ?

[Chopperboy]

Stories like this make me realize how emotionally vulnerable neurotypicals (normal people) can be.

They just want someone to love - sometimes it works and other times its just a set up...

Because the emotions are self -generated its hard to read another person. In psychopathy we don't have those emotions, so we only know whats happening through cold reading the person/ situation. It has disadvantages like never falling in love in the first place! - but overall its much more accurate way of accessing people and working out the best outcome from situations.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

TheMarriage between us has been all about money and how much she can get out of me, I am only relieved I am getting out of it before all my money was gone. I love Thailand and my only worry is I will have problems on entering Thailand, obviously by the sounds of things there is nothing she can sue me for as there are no assets would I be right in saying that.?

Move to a different town/area without leaving a forwarding address.

That's how the Thai guys do it.

Chuck your SIM, and get a new number.

Western guys always want to discuss stuff, pointless, walk away, don't look back.

PS

It's really inconvenient for a Thai lady to have an absent foreigner husband.

She can never buy or inherit land again (cos it would need your signature at the land office).

She can't have a baby, cos it would be your baby, no matter who impregnated her.

She can't even sleep with another guy, cos you could sue him for damages.

Edited August 25, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[AlexRRR]

Dont divorce dont talk to her dissapear from her sight, make a will your troubles are over, and for goddness sakes why would you want to marry again, either Thailand or the Phillipines you can stay legit no need to marry anyone, yes the girls all want to get married cause your there sercurity and there your possible problem as you have already experianced, no Thai woman has walked away from me when she asked and i told her i wont marry again.

[katana]

The loan sharks usually have collateral and it isn't the rich farang husband. It's a wicked business loaning money to these women for gambling and most often involves land and houses. Don't ask me how, but it can even be land they don't own. Example: Mothers land.....Cars sometimes but doubt often.

Yes she has her own house and may well have put that up for collateral, perhaps I should sue her for 50% of the house?? just kidding but that would hurt eh!!

As far as I'm aware, you are entitled to 50% of all assets accrued during the marriage, So if you bought her a house, she might have to sell it and give you half the proceeds. Not sure where the debt falls in all that and if you're liable.

Anyway, best to post the story in the Ask-the-Lawyer section of the forum where there's a Thai lawyer conversant in Thai law who gives free initial advice:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/forum/192-ask-the-lawyer/

[scorecard]

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Yes she has her own house and may well have put that up for collateral, perhaps I should sue her for 50% of the house?? just kidding but that would hurt eh!!

Farangs can't own houses, they only pay for them. If you paid for the house, the money is gone forever, married or not.

That's not totally true.

We all know that ownership of the land can only be in a Thai name.

But ownership of the house can be different and can include both names. In reality most people don't know this and quite often when the land title documents are processed to another name the house on that land (if there is one) is not even mentioned.

Example: if the contract (if there is one and it's properly written) to build the house is between the farang and the builder then that farang has a much better chance of claiming ownership of the house.

But get all of these points clear by detailed discussion with a lawyer who you trust. Not by discussion with the local amphur office staff.

[bertty]

Stories like this make me realize how emotionally vulnerable neurotypicals (normal people) can be.

They just want someone to love - sometimes it works and other times its just a set up...

Because the emotions are self -generated its hard to read another person. In psychopathy we don't have those emotions, so we only know whats happening through cold reading the person/ situation. It has disadvantages like never falling in love in the first place! - but overall its much more accurate way of accessing people and working out the best outcome from situations.

So if someone was sat on your chair and said, I knew all along she was only ever after my money..... But I really want to get married to another girl just like her as soon as I can.... what would your answer be ?

[asdecas]

This is a scam. You have passed your sell by date. She thinks she has you by the balls, but you hold all the cards. Truth be known she badly wants a divorce so she can move on to the next poor bastar'd.

Play it cool. Tell her you will only communicate by email in the future - refuse her calls. Tell her you don't love her anymore. Tell her you have no intention of granting her a divorce. Tell her that you are not responsible in anyway and that her bf can pay. Tell her you are moving to the Philippines and don't want to meet her ever again. As soon as she realises you have flown and have no intention of providing further funds, she will beg you to sign divorce papers. IMO.

You are spot on there mate. Not that I am running away from my ex but believe me like many others I am considering the phillipines.

Considering the Philippines? Oh boy, good luck with that; Thailand is the kindergarten for rapacious women, the Philippines is where the adult women scalp the paleface longnoses.

[napoleon3]

When you divorce any assets and debt that were acquired during the marriage will be split 50/50.

Are the debts legitimate ones or ones that came through a loan shark ?

Her debts are from gambling, being lazy not working and all from loan sharks

Sorry Tony,

You could get into real problems with the loan sharks.

Didn't you know she was gambling, being lazy and had debts, before you married her ?

So sorry for you, but I think you are just number xx??xx

[jacko45k]

It costs money to sue people.

Possibly 100,000 baht legal fees.

She likely wants to have the last word and make threats, what an unpleasant sounding woman.

[realenglish1]

Immediatly file for divorce stating misrepresentation and false marriage. State she was only interested in money from you. She will come out on the short end for sure

I did the same with my ex wife Won without having to pay her anyting

Go see a lawyer have him do it