Will my Thai wife experience culture shock in the US?

[laislica]

zierf1;

The short answer is Yes, there is no way she will not experience culture shock. The question is how bad will it be. Hopefully , only minor irritations will occur.

The things you can do to minimize the “negatives” of culture shock; 1) plan a return “visit” for her, make plans for a one or two month vacation back to Thailand maybe a year or eighteen months after her arrival. 2) set her up with the internet connections so she can skype her family. 3) Find local girls her age and enlist their help in making her “feel-at-home”. 4) find the closest Asian food store so you can take her shopping for Asian food staples. 5) set up internet shopping sources for Thai products. 6) arrange transportation for her so she is not house-bound. 7) set up Thai TV at home.

Anyway you (and it is your responsibility), must make her feel comfortable, and happy in her new home. Loneliness and homesickness will set in, they are human nature and you must prevent them from damaging or destroying your plan(s). Unfortunately culture shock can be a deal-breaker.

Good Luck.

Sorry, I don´t have the time to read all the posts.

Skype offer a Subscription for about £100 which will allow her to call any mobile phone in Thailand for a whole year.

It also gives almost world wide free connections to any land line phone.

I made this arrangement when I brought my Thai wife to Spain last year and it was a great investment.

She was able to call family and friends as often as she liked and it really helped her to be living so far away from home.

Where we live a city in south east Spain, I didn't even know of other Brits living nearby, but, once my wife was with me, I made serious efforts to make contact with other Thai's and now we have Thai friends in the city and also in the surrounding area.

My wife no longer feels alone and if something bad happened to me, she has friends to call upon to help her.

Also make sure that you have internet access to your Thai bank account so you can give gifts to family for birthdays etc.whilst you are away.

I suggest two accounts with only one linked to an ATM to minimise the chance of being scammed.

No time for more just now.

So, be happy, look on the bright side and go with the flow.

Best of luck in this new chapter of your life.

[thai20144]

zierf1;

The short answer is Yes, there is no way she will not experience culture shock. The question is how bad will it be. Hopefully , only minor irritations will occur.

The things you can do to minimize the “negatives” of culture shock; 1) plan a return “visit” for her, make plans for a one or two month vacation back to Thailand maybe a year or eighteen months after her arrival. 2) set her up with the internet connections so she can skype her family. 3) Find local girls her age and enlist their help in making her “feel-at-home”. 4) find the closest Asian food store so you can take her shopping for Asian food staples. 5) set up internet shopping sources for Thai products. 6) arrange transportation for her so she is not house-bound. 7) set up Thai TV at home.

Anyway you (and it is your responsibility), must make her feel comfortable, and happy in her new home. Loneliness and homesickness will set in, they are human nature and you must prevent them from damaging or destroying your plan(s). Unfortunately culture shock can be a deal-breaker.

Good Luck.

Sorry, I don´t have the time to read all the posts.

Skype offer a Subscription for about £100 which will allow her to call any mobile phone in Thailand for a whole year.

It also gives almost world wide free connections to any land line phone.

I made this arrangement when I brought my Thai wife to Spain last year and it was a great investment.

She was able to call family and friends as often as she liked and it really helped her to be living so far away from home.

Where we live a city in south east Spain, I didn't even know of other Brits living nearby, but, once my wife was with me, I made serious efforts to make contact with other Thai's and now we have Thai friends in the city and also in the surrounding area.

My wife no longer feels alone and if something bad happened to me, she has friends to call upon to help her.

Also make sure that you have internet access to your Thai bank account so you can give gifts to family for birthdays etc.whilst you are away.

I suggest two accounts with only one linked to an ATM to minimise the chance of being scammed.

No time for more just now.

So, be happy, look on the bright side and go with the flow.

Best of luck in this new chapter of your life.

+1

I think you need to make an extra effort for these Thai ladies to feel comfortable in a different country. I believe most guys bring the Thai lady over to their homelands and do nothing to help them feel at home and expect after time they will be happy.

[LawrenceN]

I'm from Missouri. I met my wife at the University of Missouri - Columbia. She was getting her doctorate, so maybe she's a little more worldly than your wife. No put down intended; you just didn't say much about your wife's experience living abroad. My lovely wife experienced a lot of culture shock. Some was in the form of subtle racism from local people, not just rednecks but well-educated unthinking people, who thought she needed to be told about Christmas or other local customs. "Oh, water is wet here, too? So surprised!". Much of her culture shock was within our marriage, like when we argued.

Some people here have already hinted at the two most important things to keep her happy: Communication with the folks back home and Thai food. So, yeah, make sure she can Skype with her family and friends. If there's no Asian grocery near you, try a Mexican mercado. You may be surprised at the variety. In fact, my wife got bored with Thai (not quite like home) and Chinese (bland, like it came from a can) foods, so we usually ate Mexican when we went out.

You should build into your budget plane tickets back to Thailand for her as often as you can afford it. Splurge and tag along yourself if you like Thailand, and plan ahead for tickets for children.

I never thought of the US immigration forms as a "nightmare," just something you do to get things done. Fill out the forms, pay the fees and wait patiently. Eventually, my wife got US citizenship. It took years, but we went on with life, pretty much just forgot about it until the letters came along telling us to appear where and when.

[herb59]

i think, she would, like me.

[nikthekiwi]

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For shure she will. Why did you ask her in the first place. Alittle selfish if you ask me. Are there any thai around?

Who the hell are you to say that someone else is being selfish? What do you know about the personal circumstances of either of them? She might have been a victim of human trafficking and would love to leave the place where she has been abused...you don't know either way so suspend your judgments until you do.

[stoli]

Get her access to Thai food ingredients first, then see about local Thai community even if it's far away. My wife and I live in Lake Tahoe and she handled the cold like 'a champ' and found a Thai restaurant and even learned to drive in the snow, but Tahoe was still rough.

Finally moved back to San Franciso and many more Thais there and job opps, she now works two jobs and has many friends, and is saving alot of money. The family thing is the real issue, and a big issue as she is from Isaan, she has been back several times and misses the family alot/

So keep her connected to Thailand so important, dont' worry about the cold...she will make it....but friends who speak Thai and connections to home are most important.

but friends who speak Thai and connections to home are most important.

I could not agree more. Coming from Tahoe myself, there are plenty of Thai restaurants there and in Carson City, Reno, and just about anywhere in the US now. She will have no problem finding the staples. Carson City has a very active group of Thai expats that meet almost weekly. About 15 Thai women/American men in this city of 55,000. Find groups like this. It can help her replace the drastic need of family.

[KhnomKhnom]

I did the whole process from meeting and wooing woman in Thailand to living in America 5yrs to coming back to Thailand and living here now 9 yrs. That was before 9/11. I have also done green card for wife and 2 children, got children into usa, too, and back out and know how to surrender the green cards and why. American citizen male.

All this info is in my forthcoming book about staying married to a Thai woman.

Meanwhile, how can I contact you privately because the story is long and needs voice to talk it all out?

padme1922@hotmail

[lcp0761]

My Thai wife has been here in the US (Washington, DC area) for 5-years. I am originally from Michigan and have taken her to MI a few times. The challenge is to try to integrate your wife as you would like. While there isn't a lot of Thai resturants in the DC area, there is a lot of Asian resturants. Also, wherever you plan on living, look-up if there is a local Wat for her to network with other Thai people. I bought my wife an IPad and she talks via Skype to all of her family and friends back home in Thailand FREE. We return to Thailand together annually between 3-4 weeks to see everyone and will be retiring to Thailand in 2-years.

[connda]

Que habla Espanol mai? Have her brush up on her Spanish. Other than that, yes - she will experience culture shock. If it's bad enough, you'll have to make some tough decisions. Best of luck.

[ableguy]

Do bears crap in the woods ?

[ableguy]

If she is a pretty young thing, I think she will be accepted more readily/more quickly by the locals.

Try to find something for her to do. A part-time job. Or a hobby. How to use an oven and then bake cookies. Join a women's or church group.

Shopping trips to Walmart will cure most forms of depression.

There may not be many Thais nor Thai food, but there is bound to be some Asian/Chinese shops.

A church group ? Are you joking?

[uptheos]

"Will my Thai wife experience culture shock in the US?"

Only if she meets your non Thai wife.

[Donutz]

Yes, and you should be wholly prepared to see her change and be much more Americanized within 1-2 years. Its just reality.

More westernized isn't a bad thing, but more Americanized must be like hell. *Pictures a fat arse, lots of hamburgers, ketchup and phrases such as "I was like ... and then totally like..." *

Just as I'd hope farangs in Thailand would become Thainized. It's called integration and it should be applauded. Though some people seem to wish that their spouse does not change at all or wish to import a "classic spouse"... Personally I find that pathetic.

In all seriousness, this question cannot be answered. Depends on the individual Thai and western partner, their personality and background. Is she from some backwards hell hole (some posts here seem to suggest their wifes grew up under a mango tree with no access to "modern" facilities at all, never having scene an oven etc. ). Some people like the cold, others do not. Just as some farangs like the heat and others find it a bit too much, some farangs need to eat fish&chips or hamburgers&fries daily and will go nuts living Thai style (mostly Thai food, Thai TV etc.). It will be the same the other way around so most likely she:

- will want to eat and drink Thai every now and then. Depending on what kind of woman she is she may wish to eat Thai daily, weekly or less frequently. Just as one farang here may eat western food daily and others weekly or less often.

- Thai contacts: depends on what kind of woman she is how much, how many and what type of Thai she would like to hang out with. Just as you got farangs here who like to hang out with stereotypical (low life?) farangs in bars, others with a few good friends or little to no farang friends at all. Some Thai ladies will want to hang out among lots of Thai "friends" 24/7, others may prefer 2-3 good Thai friends, some may not wish to hang out with Thai much or at all.

- Integrating: depends on what she is used to, is she a peasant girl (not meant as a negative thing), a city girl, from a poor background, avarage background or higher up? Again same with farangs: you got more simple farangs and HiSo farangs and many types inbetween. Some must see TV (sports, soaps) from their home country every day and cannot imagen being denied access to Thai soaps or baseball/football/... .

So just take her on a holiday once, twice, see how she fits in. Find her something to do: a job, a hobby, friends (Thai and non Thai), improving her language skills etc. Just as one living in Thailand would need to integrate. Some do so better then others... and everybody in their own way. Some are quite happy living in a shell (learning the language of your new home country, nah why bother?) others may give it a try (some fail though). Only you and her will be able to figure out what works best for you. Some Thai love their new homeland, others will wish to return. Some farangs love Thailand, others will live a rather misarable life... or return home in agony. Hard to tell, though migration is not an easy thing. Many people fail to settle in or atleast have to overcome some major hurdles before they can call their new place "home"

Best of luck, only you and your partner can work out what works best for you. Talk, communicate, have fun, if you both love eachother and wish to fight for your relation you will find a place were the both of you will feel at home. Try to see the perspective of your spouse. And ask yourselve, if I were in an other country (thailand) what would be essential or important to me? This may not be the same for her but then with Thai things, though as each person is unique she may cope differently and have other priorities.

I'm glad my wife is settling in just fine, has access to family and friends via Skype, can buy Thai products (we eat Thai once a week usually it's me asking for it as she prefers European dishes most of the time), got her a debitcard (borrowed her mine in the first few months so she could go for grocceries etc. ), a few Thai friends (not too much, she fears the gossip and silly ladies trying to show off to eachother and she does not want to get involved in such things), some more from friends from other places. So she is doing just fine. I'm glad she only watches THai TV now and then. I would probably want to kill myself if THai soaps were running daily.

Edited September 15, 2014 by Donutz

[Canadaguy]

You paint a shitty picture. If she's educated , travelled and speaks English the success level will be higher although a bigger cosmopolitan city is better. My wife is from Chiang Mai and we live in Toronto so Thai food is abundent and she is seen as a Canadian. Alot of it to be honest depends on your situation. If you live in a shitty small apartment and are just getting by and she thinks she is good to sit at home and watch Thai Soaps all day it will be over quick. If she has no ambition to work or contribute not only will you be Pissed but she will be bored. This is what seems to be the problem with most of these scenarios. You need to sponsor her . Then it's a waiting game of approx 6 months. My wife and I have been together 7 years and married 5. It took me 2 years to really get to know her to determine if she would be able to live in Canada. Even then the first winter was pretty rough and the homesickness was pretty bad for almost 2 years. Once you get passed that it's good. She has a good job making about 30,000 baht every 2 weeks now and I don't see her ever wanting to leave . If she does work be prepared for her thinking her money is hers but your money is for both of you. That's just the way it is and she will send alot of hers home to help her family which is ok by me. Good Luck .

[nithisa78]

Try not to give it the kiss of death before you even get there.

Or do your best to relocate and don't bring this mind set with you.

Very destructive thought patterns. With them you won't need any strangers to screw things up for you.

You're already well equipt. The answers you seek are inside you. Not at TV. Look for that inner light and follow it.

[Patron]

One of the first things my wife said when we landed in America is, many girl have big bodies.

A couple a weeks later she said, why American boy give me good face and American girl give me

bad eye and face. Easy,I but her in front of a full size mirror and said look. Never heard about that again.

First thing to do is find a Asian food market...number 11111111111111111111111111

My wife did not like the Thai restaurants in town ( not Thai...Hmong food)

I got her in a ESL class ( english second language ) She did very good..It was free

She found another Thai girl at the ESL classes and now she had a friend.

We live in one of most coldist states in America,ya know you can dress for the cold,but you can not

dress for the Thai heat.

1- Get her to a Asian food market

2- I-pad...she has to have facebook

3- Thai soapies..via i-pad

4- Don't listen to some people on here

TODAY 6 YEARS LATER

Her own new car

On track to make over a million Baht this year

She has been making the payments on the Thai home and car

I want to retire at our home in Thailand soon, but she wants to stay and make good

money as the head chef at a Thai Restaurant.

THAI GIRLS ROCK THIS WORLD

[phinick]

I'm 33 I am trying to get my Thai wife a marriage visa to the US. It is a nightmare getting all the required forms. I cannot get her a tourist visa(this makes me real angry but that's another story). I don't think she will like it here that much when she arrives. I am from the midwest and the weather here is miserable, cloudy and cold. I notice a lot of guys are from exciting, warm places like California and Hawaii. Unfortunately, I'm not. I notice that many Americans around me don't travel *particularly* much. We have a lot of rednecks and country bumpkins around here. A hot, young Thai girl like my wife will stick out here like a sore thumb and will attract all kinds of unwanted attention from other men!! There is not much Thai food or other Thai people around here. I have not seen ANY other men around here with foreign women(not too unusual since most Americans don't travel a great deal). How will she adapt? Will she want to go back home? This is a huge question!

F8rst i would ask has she travelled abroad in the passed?

If i was in your position I would say take her over for a shorter visit first a few weeks. Then travel around a little in the US before going back to Thailand then she can digest her impressions and will probably have a more positive impression than if she stays in one place too long. And won't miss home too much...how she reacts to it depends on what happends of course but the lack of other Thai people and lack of thaifood in your area can be an issue..

OP cannot bring her here for a visit. Must get a K-1 visa. When she gets here, they have 90 days to get married, or she has to returen to Thailand. I got lucky. My wife is from Issan, and I live in a large city (Las Vegas) so there is always something to do. Many Thai people liviing here, and no problem getting Thai food items. With all that, after a few months she got very homesick, but then got a job, made more friends, she got a driver's license, and I gave her a car and now she is very comfortable here, although I'm retiring in a couple of months, and have been building a house in Issan for us. Now she isn't sure she wants to return, even though she hasn't been to Thailand for 8 years. I on the other hand plan to spend the rest of my life in Thailand, so we'll see what happens.

A job, car, and her own credit cards made a hugh difference, and made her love America.

For the sake of his relationship, I'd recommend that if possible, OP move close to the nearest large city.

[rotary]

Well, I may be in your situation in the future , I have gone through it before when I brought my Russian bride which I met when working in Saudi Arabia.

1. She was funny to watch the first time I brought her to a safeway. Unlike here in Thailand they have a Lotus store, so, not to much shock.

2. Does she speak any English? My current girlfriend speaks English very well. So, as other members as stated check into a college language course to help and meet other foreign people learning English.

3. Driving, well, I wait a while on that.

4.As for standing out as a young and Asia is something you must support as people in the US will come quick to her and she might shy away fro our in your face way.

5. Asia food shopping is a very good Idea

6. Missing family will be a big thing but you better plan on bringing relatives there and providing the cost. I had to bring her brother and his to the US and her mother.

or provide tickets 1-2 times a year.

7. Meeting other Asia women near by or in the town.

I wish I was a Thai women married to you.......ha ha

[HeijoshinCool]

I am sure she will, once you go to Walmart...

.

My GF would not be shocked by this. I've already shown her the website, People of Walmart.

Once there though, she'd be laughing so hard at such emotional immaturity, I'd have to drag her from the store so she could catch a breath.

OP, it all depends on your perspective, more so than your wife's. She will pick up on your attitude.

Oh, and their not being any Thais nearby? Perfect! Nothing but trouble.

No Thai food? Perfect. Now she has something to keep her busy. There are hoards of Asian groceries in every big town, and online with easy shipping. She can buy anything.

Start a catering business.