What do Thai women look for in a man and what kind of men turn off Thai women?

[Gecko123]

There's an element of luck in play when it comes to love.

Some people may be misguided in terms of what they're looking for or where they're looking for it, but deep down inside we're all human.

When a person truly has found love, I would think that this would engender such a deep sense of inner happiness and humility that their hearts would be brimming with compassion for others who haven't been as fortunate.

When instead I hear a person judgmentally sneering at others and attributing their success solely to their superior character, it does make me wonder if they are really any closer to finding what they are looking for than anyone else.

Edited September 26, 2014 by Gecko123

[KhunOr]

Hey Berkshire... your horribly mistaken my friend... Me and my Thai lady do understand each other much better now (English / Thai language) then before after a lot of effort from the both of us over time.. BUT... in the beginning it was 90% understanding and lovingly caring for each other by means of " language by the heart " as mentioned..... Believe me.. this does truly excists ... Today we're the most happiest couple out there and I would happily do it all over again... But than once again... we were mend to be together..

Boy, you guys are amazing. This is so basic, it really shouldn't need much explanation. Most good relationships are based on good communication. If the parties cannot communicate due to language incompatibility, then there's going to be problems. Thai women are no different. The ones who don't care much about communication are seeking something else, usually financial security.

Perhaps we're different, but I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with someone if we couldn't communicate. That's why I believe it's important to learn the Thai language if one seeks to live and have relationships in Thailand. But that's just me.

Interesting thread.

Berkshire I think you really haven't grasped what people are telling you. Communication is not just about spoken language. Furthermore posters have told you that other aspects of communication - demonstrable love, 'heart', etc - are considered more important in mixed relationships.

Nobody is saying that communication itself is not important. Just that the ability to speak Thai isn't as important as other things.

[NativeSon360]

oh boy!

Here come all the usual TV negitive comments about money hungry Thai women!

Unfortunately it seems many many TV members never got out of the bars or massage parlors when looking for a woman.

Clue: If you are looking at women who want money for affection or sex...you will find women who's priority is money, money, money.

I and most of my farang friends here in Thailand are married to good, loving and respectable Thai women.

Hard to believe for the bar guys and sexpats, but my wife had never had a boyfriend before me...yes a real virgin.

I know money is not why she is with me....thorugh the years we have hit some hard times and she has always stayed with and supported me.

In fact, when we first met, before we were married, she had more money in the bank than I did..she owned and still own a bit of property as well.

So, before you drowned in a sea of disgruntled, unhappy guys who more or less tried to buy a wife...remember there are quite a few of us out here who are very happy with our wonderful and loving Thai wives.

Back to your original question: What do they look for in a man? Love and respect are very important tomine.

Personally, I'm happy to read about a Thai woman who "actually" stands by her farang man, after her (1)parents, (2) siblings of the womb, (3)aunts, (4)uncles, (4)cousins and whomever the #1 Papa San Thai guy was, who gave her the "permission" to be with w/ you, to begin with. Just like so many other foolish believing expats in Asia, who delude "themselves" into believing that their SE Asian "wife" is different, if it were really true, then you would not be coming to this forum to boast about it, for sure

[Pattaya Lous]

Pattaya Lous, on 25 Sept 2014 - 08:03, said:

willyumiii, on 24 Sept 2014 - 08:51, said:

oh boy!

Here come all the usual TV negitive comments about money hungry Thai women!

Unfortunately it seems many many TV members never got out of the bars or massage parlors when looking for a woman.

Clue: If you are looking at women who want money for affection or sex...you will find women who's priority is money, money, money.

I and most of my farang friends here in Thailand are married to good, loving and respectable Thai women.

Hard to believe for the bar guys and sexpats, but my wife had never had a boyfriend before me...yes a real virgin.

I know money is not why she is with me....thorugh the years we have hit some hard times and she has always stayed with and supported me.

In fact, when we first met, before we were married, she had more money in the bank than I did..she owned and still own a bit of property as well.

So, before you drowned in a sea of disgruntled, unhappy guys who more or less tried to buy a wife...remember there are quite a few of us out here who are very happy with our wonderful and loving Thai wives.

Back to your original question: What do they look for in a man? Love and respect are very important to mine.

Delusional

Sorry Lous..

I'm not delusional.

I am in the real Thailand with real Thai people who still have a real life.

Many westerners, sexpats and lonely old farts and drunks are being delusional when the believe places like Pattaya, Phuket and parts of Bangkok represent Thailand and all Thai people,

Those places are filled with poor women who have no choice but to permit themselves to be exploited and abused by losers in exchange for money need for the survival of themselves and their families.

This is not the case in most of Thailand.

In tourist areas you meet the poor, uneducated and some just too lazy to get an education or a real job.

Putting up with fat, old stinky drunks slobbering all over you is pretty easy work when they get past the "wanting to throw up" stage.

Unlike your neighborhood, the majority of Thai women where I live have never and will never go into a bar or ever have a drink. Good respectable Buddhist women.

Even the poorer women in my area have pride and would rather live a simple, clean life than sell themselves to an old, fat, drunken sweat ball.

As I said, you find what you look for, look in the gutter and find the slime of Thai people.

For some, slime is all they want and all they deserve.

They assure themselves that if they are not capable of doing better..neither can others.

One more thing Lous...please stay there. Those with no respect for good Thai people are not well respected by good Thai people here and usually don't last too long here.

Places like Pattaya and Phuket were created to cater to a certain kind of creature and I would like to encourage those creatures to stay right where they are......., and where they are welcome.

Choke Dee Buddy!

Tell me. Is this living the dream?

See you have posted a picture of yourself with same waste line as your other half.

you must be bored silly.

Sorry Lous...

If that's the best comeback you have to my post directed at you and your kind...

It's time for you to turn in the keyboard buddy.

Choke Dee!

So it is you and your other half's waistline; no wonder you hide in the jungle

[Berkshire]

Hey Berkshire... your horribly mistaken my friend... Me and my Thai lady do understand each other much better now (English / Thai language) then before after a lot of effort from the both of us over time.. BUT... in the beginning it was 90% understanding and lovingly caring for each other by means of " language by the heart " as mentioned..... Believe me.. this does truly excists ... Today we're the most happiest couple out there and I would happily do it all over again... But than once again... we were mend to be together..

Boy, you guys are amazing. This is so basic, it really shouldn't need much explanation. Most good relationships are based on good communication. If the parties cannot communicate due to language incompatibility, then there's going to be problems. Thai women are no different. The ones who don't care much about communication are seeking something else, usually financial security.

Perhaps we're different, but I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with someone if we couldn't communicate. That's why I believe it's important to learn the Thai language if one seeks to live and have relationships in Thailand. But that's just me.

Interesting thread.

Berkshire I think you really haven't grasped what people are telling you. Communication is not just about spoken language. Furthermore posters have told you that other aspects of communication - demonstrable love, 'heart', etc - are considered more important in mixed relationships.

Nobody is saying that communication itself is not important. Just that the ability to speak Thai isn't as important as other things.

Look, I do get it already, I just don't agree. You guys are talking about exceptions to the rule and I'm talking about in the majority of cases. If a woman were to tell me that communication was not that important to her, I'd be seriously suspicious of her motives. Because it is to most women, more so than to men. Yes, there are intangibles in any relationship that doesn't necessarily involve verbal communication. I get that. But just ask any western woman if they'd prefer to be with a man who speaks their language, or one who cannot, all other things being equal.

[huawei]

Hey Berkshire... your horribly mistaken my friend... Me and my Thai lady do understand each other much better now (English / Thai language) then before after a lot of effort from the both of us over time.. BUT... in the beginning it was 90% understanding and lovingly caring for each other by means of " language by the heart " as mentioned..... Believe me.. this does truly excists ... Today we're the most happiest couple out there and I would happily do it all over again... But than once again... we were mend to be together..

Boy, you guys are amazing. This is so basic, it really shouldn't need much explanation. Most good relationships are based on good communication. If the parties cannot communicate due to language incompatibility, then there's going to be problems. Thai women are no different. The ones who don't care much about communication are seeking something else, usually financial security.

Perhaps we're different, but I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with someone if we couldn't communicate. That's why I believe it's important to learn the Thai language if one seeks to live and have relationships in Thailand. But that's just me.

Interesting thread.

Berkshire I think you really haven't grasped what people are telling you. Communication is not just about spoken language. Furthermore posters have told you that other aspects of communication - demonstrable love, 'heart', etc - are considered more important in mixed relationships.

Nobody is saying that communication itself is not important. Just that the ability to speak Thai isn't as important as other things.

Look, I do get it already, I just don't agree. You guys are talking about exceptions to the rule and I'm talking about in the majority of cases. If a woman were to tell me that communication was not that important to her, I'd be seriously suspicious of her motives. Because it is to most women, more so than to men. Yes, there are intangibles in any relationship that doesn't necessarily involve verbal communication. I get that. But just ask any western woman if they'd prefer to be with a man who speaks their language, or one who cannot, all other things being equal.

Agreed. Don't even think there are exceptions. When the shit hits the fan, when disagreements arise, throw in cultural differences all this other twaddle goes out the window .it tends to be that the foreigner "bends over backwards" and complies ..it may sound cynical but it's practical , we are in a different country and a difference cultural.. So many live in these bubbles.

Finally if you can't communicate then you haven't known them long, don't know them well and in the end just a myriad of problems on the horizon..

Never mind learning the Thai language the partner must be proficient in English..

It just creates frustration after frustration surely?

[blazes]

Hey Berkshire... your horribly mistaken my friend... Me and my Thai lady do understand each other much better now (English / Thai language) then before after a lot of effort from the both of us over time.. BUT... in the beginning it was 90% understanding and lovingly caring for each other by means of " language by the heart " as mentioned..... Believe me.. this does truly excists ... Today we're the most happiest couple out there and I would happily do it all over again... But than once again... we were mend to be together..

Boy, you guys are amazing. This is so basic, it really shouldn't need much explanation. Most good relationships are based on good communication. If the parties cannot communicate due to language incompatibility, then there's going to be problems. Thai women are no different. The ones who don't care much about communication are seeking something else, usually financial security.

Perhaps we're different, but I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with someone if we couldn't communicate. That's why I believe it's important to learn the Thai language if one seeks to live and have relationships in Thailand. But that's just me.

Indeed it is just you. What a load of codswallop. You talk about "communication" as if you could only consent to have a relationship with Einstein's sister, as if we all had to "talk" about at the level of a Ph.D.

You can "communicate" at a low level of English and get reasonably deeply into a lot of Thai life, culture and politics IF you are prepared to ask the right questions and reduce your English to graspable concepts.

Sorry if this is beyond your comprehension. Berkie.

[elliottm]

LIKE: caring, kind heart, thoughtful, getting on well with friends & family

DON'T LIKE - BAD TEMPER/aggression, Drinking too much (they already have a wide choice for this), complaining too much about Thailand/customs/neighbours etc

[Berkshire]

Hey Berkshire... your horribly mistaken my friend... Me and my Thai lady do understand each other much better now (English / Thai language) then before after a lot of effort from the both of us over time.. BUT... in the beginning it was 90% understanding and lovingly caring for each other by means of " language by the heart " as mentioned..... Believe me.. this does truly excists ... Today we're the most happiest couple out there and I would happily do it all over again... But than once again... we were mend to be together..

Boy, you guys are amazing. This is so basic, it really shouldn't need much explanation. Most good relationships are based on good communication. If the parties cannot communicate due to language incompatibility, then there's going to be problems. Thai women are no different. The ones who don't care much about communication are seeking something else, usually financial security.

Perhaps we're different, but I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with someone if we couldn't communicate. That's why I believe it's important to learn the Thai language if one seeks to live and have relationships in Thailand. But that's just me.

Indeed it is just you. What a load of codswallop. You talk about "communication" as if you could only consent to have a relationship with Einstein's sister, as if we all had to "talk" about at the level of a Ph.D.

You can "communicate" at a low level of English and get reasonably deeply into a lot of Thai life, culture and politics IF you are prepared to ask the right questions and reduce your English to graspable concepts.

Sorry if this is beyond your comprehension. Berkie.

Geez, blazes, calm the freak down. Why did you even bring up Einstein's sister? I'm talking about basic communication. I never brought up intelligence or education, you did. Read the post above from Huawei because he gets it. Clearly it's not just me.

[Berkshire]

Look, I do get it already, I just don't agree. You guys are talking about exceptions to the rule and I'm talking about in the majority of cases. If a woman were to tell me that communication was not that important to her, I'd be seriously suspicious of her motives. Because it is to most women, more so than to men. Yes, there are intangibles in any relationship that doesn't necessarily involve verbal communication. I get that. But just ask any western woman if they'd prefer to be with a man who speaks their language, or one who cannot, all other things being equal.

Agreed. Don't even think there are exceptions. When the shit hits the fan, when disagreements arise, throw in cultural differences all this other twaddle goes out the window .it tends to be that the foreigner "bends over backwards" and complies ..it may sound cynical but it's practical , we are in a different country and a difference cultural.. So many live in these bubbles.

Finally if you can't communicate then you haven't known them long, don't know them well and in the end just a myriad of problems on the horizon..

Never mind learning the Thai language the partner must be proficient in English..

It just creates frustration after frustration surely?

So true. Yes, this is pretty basic stuff. Amazing that some people are unable to grasp.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I don't see any hi-so girls mixing with handsome cabbies or motocye taxi drivers

True but every bin-diver or re-cycle guy has a girl and a lot of them are better looking than some of the dogs I've seen falungs with.

You too right there, not to mention all the Burmese ladies that sweep my road (married to the Burmese builders), they look totally awesome naked.

(they shower topless under a hose at the end of my road every evening)

[benalibina]

I don't see any hi-so girls mixing with handsome cabbies or motocye taxi drivers

True but every bin-diver or re-cycle guy has a girl and a lot of them are better looking than some of the dogs I've seen falungs with.

Is this your definition of a dog ?

[J Bradley]

I'm talking about basic communication.

A lot of elderly westerners in Thailand have low expectations from a partner and seem quite happy to communicate in pidgin.

Do you think "basic communication" is Hugh Heffner's main priority when choosing a partner?

Edited September 26, 2014 by J Bradley

[Gecko123]

I don't see any hi-so girls mixing with handsome cabbies or motocye taxi drivers

True but every bin-diver or re-cycle guy has a girl and a lot of them are better looking than some of the dogs I've seen falungs with.

You too right there, not to mention all the Burmese ladies that sweep my road (married to the Burmese builders), they look totally awesome naked.

(they shower topless under a hose at the end of my road every evening)

Wow! Any chance I can come take pictures?

[benalibina]

I don't see any hi-so girls mixing with handsome cabbies or motocye taxi drivers

True but every bin-diver or re-cycle guy has a girl and a lot of them are better looking than some of the dogs I've seen falungs with.

You too right there, not to mention all the Burmese ladies that sweep my road (married to the Burmese builders), they look totally awesome naked.

(they shower topless under a hose at the end of my road every evening)

Wow! Any chance I can come take pictures?

You wrote a comment with a long list of what thai women dont like in a man. I think you forgot to mention that they do not like perverds.

[Somtamme]

LIKE: caring, kind heart, thoughtful, getting on well with friends & family

DON'T LIKE - BAD TEMPER/aggression, Drinking too much (they already have a wide choice for this), complaining too much about Thailand/customs/neighbours etc

Could add;

Dislike; From a personal perspective, I find Thai's very hard working, so from this I would summarise, they do not like lazy people.

[canarysun]

I have noticed that there are quite a few Thai ladies on the dating sites ( not that i would know about those sort of sites of course viewers..) but many seem to be looking for a farang that " does not drink or go to bars "

The future could be " a bit bleak " for some of you......

[lanng khao]

I have noticed that there are quite a few Thai ladies on the dating sites ( not that i would know about those sort of sites of course viewers..) but many seem to be looking for a farang that " does not drink or go to bars "

The future could be " a bit bleak " for some of you......

av noticed a few thai ladies that don't like ferang who are tighter than a camels arse in a sandstorm so you better get your coat now..

[mikiea]

i think ol'greg nixon is on borrowed time. after reading his post i had go take another insulin shot. blood sugar level went thru the roof broke my meter. :-)

[Grindting]

Unless you look like brad pitt and have some cash in the bank, if you want a girl who:

Doesn't care how much you earn

Doesn't care about your background/education

Doesn't care about living in a nice home and driving a decent car

Doesn't care about what you buy her on her birthday

You need to find yourself a plane looking, older and or fat / or ugly chick. These girls will not care about any of the above provided you're willing to take them on. I have a feeling a lot of the 'my wife doesn't ask me for anything and earns more money than me' wife's may fit into this category. A horrible thing to say and of course it's all in the eye of the beer holder... But in reality, beautiful young girls no matter how nice and down to earth they are, are not going to settle for a nobody average bloke.

Depends what you want in life, I guess I'm shallow, i need my partner to be very beautiful in order for me to be interested in the long term. If I was a low earning bum / expat living hand to mouth, my wife wouldn't be my wife now if I wasn't able to support her with a pleasent life after we'd married and had kids etc. I wouldn't hsve been a very wise choice for her if I earned less than her. I'm just being realistic, as I'm not that handsom to have 'won' her based on my looks and charm alone.

[lanng khao]

Unless you look like brad pitt and have some cash in the bank, if you want a girl who:

Doesn't care how much you earn

Doesn't care about your background/education

Doesn't care about living in a nice home and driving a decent car

Doesn't care about what you buy her on her birthday

You need to find yourself a plane looking, older and or fat / or ugly chick. These girls will not care about any of the above provided you're willing to take them on. I have a feeling a lot of the 'my wife doesn't ask me for anything and earns more money than me' wife's may fit into this category. A horrible thing to say and of course it's all in the eye of the beer holder... But in reality, beautiful young girls no matter how nice and down to earth they are, are not going to settle for a nobody average bloke.

Depends what you want in life, I guess I'm shallow, i need my partner to be very beautiful in order for me to be interested in the long term. If I was a low earning bum / expat living hand to mouth, my wife wouldn't be my wife now if I wasn't able to support her with a pleasent life after we'd married and had kids etc. I wouldn't hsve been a very wise choice for her if I earned less than her. I'm just being realistic, as I'm not that handsom to have 'won' her based on my looks and charm alone.

maybe your hung like Greg Nixon..

[Gecko123]

You too right there, not to mention all the Burmese ladies that sweep my road (married to the Burmese builders), they look totally awesome naked.

(they shower topless under a hose at the end of my road every evening)

Wow! Any chance I can come take pictures?

You wrote a comment with a long list of what thai women dont like in a man. I think you forgot to mention that they do not like perverds.

Sorry, I was being facetious.

Burmese women showering topless under a hose every evening? Give me a break!

AnotherOneAmerican sounds like the one with the peeping Tom problem.

[Berkshire]

I'm talking about basic communication.

A lot of elderly westerners in Thailand have low expectations from a partner and seem quite happy to communicate in pidgin.

Do you think "basic communication" is Hugh Heffner's main priority when choosing a partner?

Man, you've reinforced my points yet again. Yes, an elderly male westerner may not care much about being able to communicate well so long as he gets to lay next to a young hardbody. But most Thai females would prefer to be able to communicate her thoughts and feelings with her mate. And if she doesn't think it that important, then she is simply looking for a sugar daddy.

[Jimlove]

USD, GBP, DKKR, Euro, M Ringit, Yuan, Yen, Rubles, AUSDollar etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

Think thats it really 55555

[willyumiii]

You too right there, not to mention all the Burmese ladies that sweep my road (married to the Burmese builders), they look totally awesome naked.

(they shower topless under a hose at the end of my road every evening)

Wow! Any chance I can come take pictures?

You wrote a comment with a long list of what thai women dont like in a man. I think you forgot to mention that they do not like perverds.

Sorry, I was being facetious.

Burmese women showering topless under a hose every evening? Give me a break!

AnotherOneAmerican sounds like the one with the peeping Tom problem.

Beautiful Burmese women, showering topless in public...

I would look.

Any healthy man would look.

I would take photos too if they did not mind!

Women do not show in public what they do not want to be seen.

and the beauty of a naked woman is not always about sex.

If you would not look, maybe you are the pervert with the problem??

Would you rather see their young sons shower?

Oh, and yes...I am American too!

Edited September 27, 2014 by willyumiii

[mrfaroukh]

An ATM that can feed non stop the entire family

[David48]

Hard to believe for the bar guys and sexpats, but my wife had never had a boyfriend before me...yes a real virgin.

I have never met a farang who claimed his Thai wife was a virgin at the time they married, and will admit I am intrigued.

Any additional details you would care to share about your relationship with your wife would be appreciated.

I am curious about things like:

how old you and your wife were when you met.

how old you and your wife were when you married.

how you met.

the education level of your wife/your education level

your wife's socio-economic status at the time she met you

your socio-economic status at the time you met your wife

where you met (in Thailand or abroad? where in Thailand?)

how long you have been married

do you think financial gain played any role in your wife's decision to marry you.

the occupations of your wife's parents at the time you were married

a lot of questions Gecko...I will answer a some for you.

My wife was a university grad working in a bank in Thailand as a computer specialist when we met.

I was a university educated arborist/ horticulturist working in the US.

Neither of us had ever been married before and neither of us had planned to be married.

She was 34 and I was 48.

We have been married 13 years, have a 6 year old child and have lived together in both Thailand and the US.

My wife's father died when she was young and my wife has supported her mother since she graduated from the university.

Life is not always easy, we have had our ups and down, but I have a good wife and a good marriage.

The point I am trying to make is that the Thai woman I married is about a far from the money hungry, uneducated selfish play for pay Thai girls as you can get and I know there are many more like her.

I a man is looking for a good woman he needs to look at good women.....simple.

I think I am a lucky man.

I hope that satisfies your curiosity Gecko!

I love details.

So, may I clarify?

Your wife was a virgin @ 34?

Your wife was 41 (ish) when your first child was born?

Other questions will eminent from your answers.

[David48]

Thai women hate men who lump them all together as if they all thought in exactly the same way.

MissFarmGirl agrees 100% ..

[Gecko123]

Wow! Any chance I can come take pictures?

You wrote a comment with a long list of what thai women dont like in a man. I think you forgot to mention that they do not like perverds.

Sorry, I was being facetious.

Burmese women showering topless under a hose every evening? Give me a break!

AnotherOneAmerican sounds like the one with the peeping Tom problem.

Beautiful Burmese women, showering topless in public...

I would look.

Any healthy man would look.

I would take photos too if they did not mind!

Women do not show in public what they do not want to be seen.

and the beauty of a naked woman is not always about sex.

If you would not look, maybe you are the pervert with the problem??

Would you rather see their young sons shower?

Oh, and yes...I am American too!

williumii:

So you think it's fair game to gawk at any woman who disrobes, even if she obviously mistakenly believes she is in doing so in private?

I don't know many men who would agree with that. I was raised to be a gentleman and that being a Peeping Tom is considered a sexual deviancy. If I recall correctly, Ted Bundy started peeping in people's windows as a teenager and we all know how that turned out.

First Benalibina chimes in to call me a pervert for facetiously joking about wanting to come take pictures, and then you stroll in with this gibberish about how I must be sexually repressed or gay if I don't gawk and start playing 'spank-the-monkey' were I to stumble on such a scene. I wish you two would make up your minds; I'm feeling whipsawed over here.

I've never seen a woman in Thailand knowingly disrobe in front of strangers. I would point to all the guidebooks which advise visitors that nude bathing is taboo in Thailand to support my contention that this would almost never happen. Please don't come back and tell me that in the mythic place you live women communally bathe in the nude out in the open all the time. My only point was that the decent thing to do would be to respect the other person's privacy. That's it. OK, Sigmund?

BTW, your bringing up nationality is pretty ironic. Unless I am mistaken AnotherOneAmerican has previously said he is not American, whereas I happen to be American. So you are defending someone who you assume is a fellow American (but who actually isn't) to another poster (me) who you assume is not American (but actually is). You might wanna go back to the drawing board on that one, pardner.

[flyingdoc]

I think the most important thing is the same level of education and social status. I only know and mix with anyone who has the same level of income as me, or more ! That way, gold digging doesn't apply! It is a stereotype, I agree, but it is still rife in Isaan!