GF's sister never speaks to me. Ever. Not a sodding word.

[epicstuff]

I read the question and the first few "answers" below it. Once again, I am embarrassed for you and the other typists I read.

First to the questioner: Asians of the old school will not speak to nor even look at a person they deem higher than themselves. Asian students came to my university office for questions and then show deference this way... sitting quietly, eyes down, and very slowly can I get them to speak and find out what they need. They show DEFERENCE to me as teacher and American. Deference is an aspect of RESPECT.

For your Thai visitor to speak to you or interrupt your sitting or whatever you are doing would be the height of disrespect to the man who is taking care of her sister, and her on occasion. Asia is not the UK. You have to stop thinking that spending money on Thai family is somehow a big gift that buys you the right to rule over them; Thai are generous and give as a habit,and within the family, just natural without the idea of you buying them.

I am sick of the general attitude of typists here of superiority and the desire to force Thai people to be like they want. I wrote about this CULTURAL IMPERIALISM some months ago on this venue. Maybe imperialism comes with citizens of the largest empire the world has ever seen, but it only causes trouble when those citizens are outnumbered in foreign lands that they do not understand and have no interest in understanding. The trouble, in this case, comes to the empire people, not the Asians, because "empire rules" do not apply in Thailand.

You fellows have a funny idea about buying a woman here; just because she puts up with you does not mean that you have made a purchase.

I cat argue with your post , all its true but i dont think in this case it is relevant certainly the advise in the first half about them showing respect . if the OP had expressed his wish to treat her an equal and a family member and communicated to her that he is uncomfortable with her silence she should then change her behaviour. if she doesn't in some small way concede with some effort o her part it cannot be seen as respect.

points about not speaking in case she said something to upset the apple cart are possible, more likely although I wont say this is definitely the case are the arguments that she has no respect as she may well she that her sisiter your wife is using you. or maybe she sees you as the one using her sister, if you are much older and your wife maybe she veiws you as some kind of old sex pest not deemed worthy of respect, but noone can really judge without seeing the situation 1st hand or at least having a fuller more detailed account and hear the other side of the story.

[uptheos]

If you distance yourself from relatives here and it doesn't affect your personal relationship

Then I would say you have it just about as good as it gets, because you can still mix in Thai society, but you can choose

The man who has a Thai wife who will settle for a 'nice' life and accept his way, has a very good asset in his life.

I should add that the nice life come about because they both understand the need for both to work and share

It's not a one way banking/milking system

Edited September 29, 2014 by uptheos

[epicstuff]

Now convinced the sister is an imposter and really is the lesbian lover. OP you are on the cusp of every heterosexual mans dream. Cook a nice meal, wine, flowers for both ladies, bubbly and chocs and ice cream ....... Go on give it a whirl you lucky bastar'd

thats a real possible senario, not unrealistic at all except not really one to get excited about, if they are already lovers it would be very hard to be accepted into that, different story ok if she was a closet lesbian unsure of her feeling for other women, then there is a window for that kind of fun you are dreaming about, before your wife realizes she likes pussy better and then will totally dis you... ..

[somchaismith]

Do you really care? Take it or leave it.

[macpayne]

Yes I've experienced that crappy behaviour before over here and am still experiencing it now, but i just put it down to ignorance and there education level and socialising skills or rather the lack of them, Just Ignore it and do your own thing,treat them like there not even there leave the communication and interaction with them to your Gf/wife to do the entertaining. but not at your expense.

[AYJAYDEE]

Yes I've experienced that crappy behaviour before over here and am still experiencing it now, but i just put it down to ignorance and there education level and socialising skills or rather the lack of them, Just Ignore it and do your own thing,treat them like there not even there leave the communication and interaction with them to your Gf/wife to do the entertaining. but not at your expense.

thais lack social skills?? lol are you living in a cave?

[Felixthecat]

Cut through all the BS & just ASK HER! Then maybe you'll get the answer your looking for.

[arunsakda]

If you had a piece of furniture in your home would you speak to it? Do you talk to ATM machines? It is to your perspective rude but unfortunately what your are appreciated as by this woman. I'd have her get lost.

Edited September 29, 2014 by arunsakda

[khunpa]

Could be you are the 6th farang, she has lived with and they all know its only a matter of time, before you will be gone (she will cash in) and another poor guy will take your place. So why bother spending time and energy on getting to know you?

Or she must be telling them really bad things about you. For sure not normal Thai-behavior and for sure she does not really like you, if she acts like that.

[csabo]

Stop wearing pants at home. She has to either say something or leave. Either way you win. And your boys stay nice and cool all day. Win win.

[arunsakda]

I have a friend who got rid of jehova witnesses and mormons this way. Started answering the door in the nude.

[spidermike007]

Even my girlfriends brother and sister who speak barely a word of english, are friendly, warm, and kind when I am around them. Same for her mom and dad. They know no english, but between the gestures, and my limited Thai, we get along. And they seem to go out of their way to be kind, and to acknowledge me. When they have been in our house, even more so.

This lump of cellulite, posing as a woman, who is your sisters sister, has no place in your life. If your woman cannot, or will not have a conversation with her, just ask her to leave. And if your girl does not want to go along with it, have a conversation with her, and explain the facts of life. If she still does not get it, leave her. You do not want to lose one more day, if there is no understanding. Life is too short to deal with such an extraordinary lack of substance and manners.

And if nothing else works, you can learn how to say in Thai, "if you do not want to interact with your host, the least you can do is hang around the house naked". Of course this presumes she is attractive.

Edited September 29, 2014 by spidermike007

[pistachios]

Wait, you invited a woman who doesn't speak to you and probably hates you, to go on holiday with you and your girlfriend, several times? Are you insane or just dumb?

[belg]

do you fancy her ?

[mozzer3953]

He does IMO. He spent money on her expecting something in return. How did it feel when you realised that she couldn't be bought op??

[Rupert Wellington]

He does IMO. He spent money on her expecting something in return. How did it feel when you realised that she couldn't be bought op??

One would envisage slightly less off.

[Pattaya Lous]

I have seen this before a few times.

Sorry to say but you are not accepted by the family and this is the sisters way of showing you, but they tolerate you because you give them money.

On the other hand if you give them money, pay for trips etc. don't then begrudge it if you are trying to buy the sisters affections or you are trying to buy your way into the family stop because it isn't working.

Stop the money and the buying of things for the sister and see how long your relationship lasts.

Thailand is all about money.

[AYJAYDEE]

I have seen this before a few times.

Sorry to say but you are not accepted by the family and this is the sisters way of showing you, but they tolerate you because you give them money.

On the other hand if you give them money, pay for trips etc. don't then begrudge it if you are trying to buy the sisters affections or you are trying to buy your way into the family stop because it isn't working.

Stop the money and the buying of things for the sister and see how long your relationship lasts.

Thailand is all about money.

nice generalization

[KamalaRider]

OP, if you are happy with your gf DON'T listen to some of the TV members here.

My wife got a cousin and everytime he visits her, he doesn't talk to me, he can speak some English and with my Thai and his poor English, we can communicate but he don't know what to say to me.

He's a very nice guy but he never greet me or anything else, except when he arrives.

My wife have assured me he absolutely don't have anything against me, never asks for money or anything else.

He seems content just visiting and small chat, maybe 5 minutes with my wife, and then hang around for an hour or more and then just leave, without a word.

I studied his behaviour with other Thai people around and he's doing the exact same thing to them, only answer when spoken to.

THIS IS THAILAND for petes sake.

[Seastallion]

Maybe she is just shy?

Yes, or maybe she misinterprets your smiles and does not want you to think she's going to fall for your charms. Or maybe your GF has preemptively told her to back off, just in case.

She's not rude at all. TIT. Your house, but her country. She is not rude.

[PJcm]

Don't want to be mean, but your communication skills with your GF are also lacking, if you can't get an answer from her on this. Surely she knows her sister best.

I have lived in this village for 37 years in Chiang Mai and speak fluent Thai and the Northern Thai dialect, My sister in law around 25 years ago shut off communication with me, she lives 30 meters from my house, my wife for years tried to find out what was the whole thing about. Never a word from her to my wife or her other siblings. I just accept it, don't give a rats arse. My sister in law tried to borrow money from my wife 20 years ago (my wife's money not mine), My wife said yes if she told her why she won't talk to me, said no, and my wife didn't let her borrow the money, they still get along but my wife is distant to her and she never has been inside our house in 25 years. My children of course are aware and my oldest said dad you'll find out why on her death bed. Some people are just strange, it's not a cultural thing and more likely some perceived wrong she has manufactured an is too embarrassed to confront.

[wow64]

Next time you meet her maybe you should have a couple of drinks before hand. Get a little loose in the tongue and tell her what you really think if that doesn't work ask her for a bit of hanky panky see if that breaks the ice.

The sister is just being nice by not saying that she finds you boring so I think the drinks will help.

Good luck.

[Thanet]

Maybe she hates you.

You can't change other people, so don't worry about it.

[theyoungone]

She's jealous.