GF's sister never speaks to me. Ever. Not a sodding word.

[thelongshoot]

She lives in Bangkok and comes down to Hua Hin to stay with us for a few days, 3 or 4 times a year. I have been with my GF for 3 years and have met her Sister many times. I have always been nice and polite with her, tried to have a laugh but not over the top... You know, just normal stuff. Took her on small holidays with us a couple of times, once paid for her and my GF to fly to Chiang Mai for a few days including hotels and once even paid for return trip to Japan for her and my GF. My point with all of this is that I have been a nice bloke to her.

I like her. She is a nice lady, bubbly and fun and every time she comes down from BKK she gives me a big smile and nice wai. The problem is from that point on, I get bugger all out of her. Nothing. She litteraly never, ever, says one single word to me unless I initiate it. I could walk in the house after being out for a couple of hours and she might be sitting on the sofa watching TV and she will not even look up at me. I always try and make the effort to speak with her but I am aware I should not over compensate and bang on at her so i just keep it to light chit chat but its ALWAYS me who starts it.

This latest visit i decided to test this out. I decided to not say anything to her for the whole trip and see how long it takes before she speaks to me. I have tried not to make eye contact with her but when i do, i always smile. I just dont speak. She has just gone home after 6 days here and I sware this is no word of a lie - she litteraly did not say one single word apart from "hello' when she first got here and "Thank you Bye Bye" when she left. Now its a daft thing I know, but its starting to get under my skin. Just imagine being back in your home country and this happening with your GF's Sister (of the same nationality) it would be the maddest, strangest thing.... So why am i supposed to let it not bother me just because i live here?

Its xxxxx rude. This is my house and I have always treated her very kindly so what gives? This isnt flipping rude beahaviour?????

She does speak reasonable, but not fluent, English so that is not an excuse.....

Edited September 27, 2014 by Rooo
profanity

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Wife's father doesn't speak to me.

Wife's two teenage sons don't like me.

And now, gf's sister won't speak to me.

Do I see a posting trend developing here?

Anyways,

I don't bother mixing with any gf's family, that isn't what a gfs for.

Edited September 27, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[MJCM]

Wife's father doesn't speak to me.

Wife's two teenage sons don't like me.

And now, gf's sister won't speak to me.

Do I see a posting trend developing here?

Yes, people asking for advice;)

[Gulfsailor]

Don't want to be mean, but your communication skills with your GF are also lacking, if you can't get an answer from her on this. Surely she knows her sister best.

[iancnx]

OP. Ruckin rude is an understatement. She is taking the hiss. She would be banned from my house!

[JDGRUEN]

Don't want to be mean, but your communication skills with your GF are also lacking, if you can't get an answer from her on this. Surely she knows her sister best.

Wow - some of you communication experts just make me laugh .. you were able to ascertain that from what OP posted -- total B.S. --- you are just laughable...

[JDGRUEN]

OP. Ruckin rude is an understatement. She is taking the hiss. She would be banned from my house!

Exactly - come to my house -- treat me like I'm the neighbors dog and I am supposed to bend over backwards to be nice... OP --- something is amiss here ... maybe she knows something you don't ... something else is going on ...

[WhamBam]

You are too low down in the pecking order

Do not speak to the servants or the slaves, there is a slave master who does that for oneself

[jacky54]

Maybe she is just shy?

[bowerboy]

OP I am not at all surprised to see a story like this.

You will get all kinds of nonsense replies on this forum now about culture and face and buddhism and all the rest of it but thats all nonsense.

She is just plain rude and this situation is plain rude and unacceptable. You cant stop here sister seeing her but you should DEFINITELY stop indulging her or paying for anything.

Next she came if I was you I would just leave and not come back for the duration of her stay...use it as an excuse to get out and let your hair down.

I hate this kind of nonsense and it is just plain rude and lack of respect. I have seen this hapen before and know exactly what you are talking about.

[thaipod]

Well after you have gone out of your way to be nice and payed holidays and no respect , talk to your girlfriend about her behaviour and ban her from the house

[jarrcbb]

I refuse to meet family members of any girls I'm dating.

[MJCM]

I refuse to meet family members of any girls I'm dating.

I think the OP is way past dating and is already living together, or do you still count that as dating?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I refuse to meet family members of any girls I'm dating.

I think the OP is way past dating and is already living together, or do you still count that as dating?

No permanent and lasting commitment made = just dating.

[JDGRUEN]

I have seen this behavior in America ... the sister turned out didn't think you measured up to the other guy or the previous guy.

[MJCM]

I refuse to meet family members of any girls I'm dating.

I think the OP is way past dating and is already living together, or do you still count that as dating?

No permanent and lasting commitment made = just dating.

Just purely out of interest, what do you call boyfriend, girlfriend and they have a baby

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I refuse to meet family members of any girls I'm dating.

I think the OP is way past dating and is already living together, or do you still count that as dating?

No permanent and lasting commitment made = just dating.

Just purely out of interest, what do you call boyfriend, girlfriend and they have a baby

Irresponsible!

[iancnx]

Just putting a crazy notion on this...... The bitch is not really her sister but is her Lesbian lover?

[Lukecan]

Maybe thats her personality OP, I'm an introverted person too, I never initiate conversations with strangers, some thai girls mistakenly think I'm an arrogant person because of this, but I'm not. Its just the way my personality is. I only initiate conversations with my close family members, thats it.

[JDGRUEN]

I have seen this behavior in America ... the sister turned out didn't think you measured up to the other guy or the previous guy.

I will be direct OP .. in my single life in America - I encountered similar treatment ... turned out -- there was another B/F that the sister liked better and thought I was an intruder

[IAMSOBAD]

Because they act like children and brats. You are trying to be an adult and it just won't work.

Play the game and ignore the brat.

[teatree]

Can you speak Thai? Not fluent, but enough to hold a good conversation?

[arthurwait]

This is like the 'brother'.

[FACTOR]

Don't let it bother you. It's not a big deal. Saying "hello" when she arrives and "thanks, bye bye" when she leaves is a lot. Maybe she doesn't have much personality.

[samsensam]

is basic courtesy, politeness and good manners too much to ask? i would say not and if someone is not prepared to make even the smallest effort they would not be welcome in my home or in my company. its nothing to do with being thai, i have travelled all over the world and the one constant is friendly welcoming and polite people. its not difficult.

[arthurwait]

Ask for a threesome, I bet she'll talk then.

[pgrahmm]

How's sis around others? And around other English speaking people? The answers could divulge a lot....What does your GF think about it...? Have you done something along the way to make the family leary of you (could be as simple as being a huggy person)? How do you score on the list posted in the "things that turn Thai women off" thread.....The cause maybe you yourself over and above the $$$$$ things you've done....Thais withdraw from things/people/situations they dislike....she's coming to visit her sister.....acceptance about you may take longer.....she might be unsure

how to act around you....are you a loud or stern/my house my way type of person? If so she could be scared of you....

I'd welcome and treat her with courtesy and quiet respect while being a good host - at this time it's all you can do.....don't do anything to make any of you lose "face".....

[FACTOR]

Quote: "is basic courtesy, politeness and good manners too much to ask?"

Basic courtesy, politeness and good manners in Thailand are not exactly the same as in, say, your country. In some parts (parts of more traditional SE Asia for example), people of "different status", say, sisters of girlfriends of older foreign men, rarely talk directly to or make eye contact with people of a higher status. Maybe the OP's gf's sister thinks she is being polite by not bothering him with talk. Maybe... .

[Beetlejuice]

ts xxxxx rude. This is my house and I have always treated her very kindly so what gives?

The OP is the type that I describe as the long and suffering, the I am a victim, really unhappy about his situation but too afraid to do everything about it.

The solution is; let the girlfriend know of his exact feelings and if the sister turns up again and the situation does not improve or becomes worse, than let it be known in no uncertain terms that he does not like the attitude and is unwilling to tolerate it.

Or could it be if the crunch came to the crunch, that the OP fears his girlfriend loyalties will be towards her sister over him? 2 options; either make a stand or continue to be the long and suffering and just endure it.

[FACTOR]

The solution is .... if the situation does not improve or becomes worse, than let it be known in no uncertain terms that he does not like the attitude and is unwilling to tolerate it.

What "situation"? , what "attitude"?

Be careful with the "no uncertain terms", you could make the "situation" and the "attitude" a real problem then.

Let it go, man. Go have a beer.