Money - Thai

[Sing_Sling]

Why does anyone pay their wife?That is what you call a marriage?Everytime my wife meets wives/GF or other falangs ,they want to know if I bought her a house and How much money I ''pay'' her.''No and No'',she is my wife,not a prostitute and why would I spend 2-3 mil for a house if I can rent the same thing for 5000 baht.Our marriage is build on trust that eminates from always telling each other the truth,Hurt feelings and arguments sometimes result,but the marriage strengthens.

Maybe you have fell for that line ''to respect Thai ways'' and thinks you have to act accordingly.Or maybe your lower brain reigns supreme.

Nice post, BKKstan.

As an 'outsider', that is someone who practically lives in Thailand but effectively doesn't, it is simply laughable at what so many of these relationships seem to be built on.

Edited July 22, 2006 by Sing_Sling

[Lacoste]

Do what I do. first time it really starts an arguement but from then on it works wonders.

When asked for something ie. 5,000 a week and I want to change it lower, I offer say your 4,500. I hand it to her. See says she wants 5,000. Then I say OK give me the 4,500 back. Now I just put it in my pocket and walk away.

Now she wants the money back and I say NO. I gave you what I thought was fair and you refused it, so now I have it since you didnt want it I gave you what I think is fair and all I can afford, it wasnt enough for you so I took it back. Sorry you didnt want what I offered.

They soon learn to take what you give them and not ask for more.

Sounds more like a spoilt child than a grown adult, even more shocking that its your wife/gf.

What did all these women do before they became involved with you guys who pay an alowance?

Why do they not still do that to support themselves?

[Boo]

Too many questions not answered

Do you have children?

Does she pay all hh bills & epxenses out of this 5k a week?

Where does she live, city or rural?

Is she supporting any other family members?

Answer these & you may get a better response as at present, 5k a week just for spendingg money is a lot for the avergae thai lady unless of course she was used to earning more than that before you came along, in which case, what was ageed when she gave up work?

[Donz]

I have been giving my thai wife 5,000 baht per week.

My monthly bills are now higher than my monthly bills were when i initially started giving my thai wife 5,000 baht per week.

I have told my wife that i want to start giving her 4,500 baht per week instead of 5,000 baht per week. My wife does not like my proposal and wants to start a hostile argument over money. I think this a decent and fair proposal.

Why do thais not understand basic economics. Do all thais think that farang are just an ATM machine?

Any helpful advice out there?

Well maybe your just a walking ATM machine. My Thai Gf and I pay 1/2 and 1.2 fo our expenses and has a great understanding of economics...

Where the hel_l do you find these Thai girls?? from the bush?? Pub???

[Kerryd]

I'd tell her that she's being cut back to 2,500 or even 2,000 a week. Tell her that you simply can't afford more (even if you can).

She can easily get by on that amount (I know families getting by on 5-6,000 a month. 8-10,000 should be plenty). Remember that she will be sending quite a bit home for her family/boyfriend.

She won't be happy with the downgrade, even though it is still a lot more than she'd make outside of bar-work.

Stash the cash you are saving by reducing her allowance. You may need it in a hurry if your relationship goes any futher downhill.

Down the road (6 months or a year maybe), if you are still together, increase the allowance by 500 baht a month.

Look for a book called "Thai Fever". Written by an English Speaking guy and a Thai girl. It looks at and explains the differences between Thais and farangs on various matters. One nice thing about the book, is the same subject is written on one side in English and in Thai on the other side.

For example, when it comes to attitudes about money. The English speaking guy explains it (in english) on one side of the page, and the girl translates it in Thai on the other side.

Then she explains the Thai attitude towards money (in Thai) and he translates it into english.

That way you both can read and understand the same topics, in language you are comfortable with.

Maybe worth a shot.

[meadish_sweetball]

Look for a book called "Thai Fever". Written by an English Speaking guy and a Thai girl. It looks at and explains the differences between Thais and farangs on various matters.

'Thailand Fever', right?

[Thaipwriter]

Where is Gabe?

We want more details!

[Kerryd]

Look for a book called "Thai Fever". Written by an English Speaking guy and a Thai girl. It looks at and explains the differences between Thais and farangs on various matters.

'Thailand Fever', right?

Yeah, I was thinking more about the content than the title.

And actually, it's called "A Cure for Thailand Fever", but the "A Cure for" is in very small letters.

I lent it to a Thai woman in my building and she won't give it back now.

(I've told her that no matter how many times she reads it, she'll never understand me !)

[edd]

Funny, I don’t give my wife any money.

We have a joint bank account and she has the same bank cards as me.

Anything she wants or needs she can just get.

I get the bank statements on line so i know how good she is with money, if anyone overspends it will be me, well Boys toys are not cheap.

We have been married for nearly 18 years and we have always shared everything, forgive me but I thought that this is how a marriage should be.

Try showing her how much you earn and how much you have in the bank etc. and explain how much you and her can spend each week and stay in the black.

Treat her like a wife, not like a hired lady.

Edited July 22, 2006 by edd

[NovaBlue05]

Where is Gabe?

We want more details!

Shamed into leaving? I thought troll when I read the OP. It isn't something I would go to an internet forum for "advice" on. The fact that the wife is Thai is irrelevant. Households worldwide have to adjust budgets all the time incoming/outgoing.

[Donz]

I think his wife took away the internet. Or maybe didnt pay the bill

[Old Man River]

Funny, I don’t give my wife any money.

We have a joint bank account and she has the same bank cards as me.

Anything she wants or needs she can just get.

I get the bank statements on line so i know how good she is with money, if anyone overspends it will be me, well Boys toys are not cheap.

We have been married for nearly 18 years and we have always shared everything, forgive me but I thought that this is how a marriage should be.

Try showing her how much you earn and how much you have in the bank etc. and explain how much you and her can spend each week and stay in the black.

Treat her like a wife, not like a hired lady.

Edd, pretty much the same for me. My wife (Thai) and I have been married for over 30 years. These days she makes more money from her company, but it all evens out more or less, and really, who cares? As you say, this is how a marriage works.

[meom]

Probable I am one of the exceptions. I give my wife about 30% when my wages are transferred every month for the household, restaurants, shopping and all the bills as they came in. With this 30% she can send money to her family and can save also for herself. It's nice to see if someone is self-confident. Many farangs I've seen are most cheap charlie's. The wife always have to beg for money.

I said it clearly enough to her (okay more than one time) that this 30% must get along the whole month till the next wages comes. In other words she is the boss with this 30% and we share everything together.

20% I transfer with internet-bangking automatic in my other accounts for unexpected things could happen - sickness/accident for example or a new computer...

Probable not work with every wife .

Not really E. My salary goes straight into the combined account and she can take out whatever she needs for paying bills, assist family, saving etc.

I don't really bother as long as there's food on the table, a couple of beers a day and the occasional horizontal exercise.

[Sing_Sling]

Clearly a discerning human being, meom.

[tourleadersi]

When I met my future wife she worked on the opposite side of Bangkok in her Mum's Restaurant. As I was taking a break from work for a few months I offered to replace the salary she was earning so that she could live with me permanently and she agreed. I paid her a modest salary (about 8k a month) from which she needed to buy anything she wanted.

Since then were married and I have quit my job and begun to set up my own business. The salary has stopped with no complaint, and we have switched to me giving a lump sum for all household bills plus things that she needs (lower than most suggested on this thread). I guess at the end of the month she is left with 3 - 4K. She hasn't complained at all as she knows that all money is our money and at present we need to be really careful until the business is on its feet.

The other day I found her counting out a load of coins from a jar she has in the bedroom. I helped her and it totalled 400 Baht. She was really happy and I asked her what she was going to use the money for. Her reply was that she had been saving all 5 and 1 baht coins for the last 2 months so that she could buy me a nice present on my birthday in 2 weeks time. That was the best present she could have given me.

To the OP. Marriage is about partnership. It is not a 'fair weather' arrangement. If it is held together by a gratuity alone then how does it differ from the many 'financial transactions' that happy every day in Nana, Cowboy, Pattaya etc? If your wife cannot cope with that reality now, surely it is better to address it than to continue to acquiesce and have her leave her at a time when you may need her support the most should your funds decline? Never be afraid of testing your marriage, it is a good barometer to what the future may hold.

[terdsak_12]

Why pay a wife a salary.???

[alexth]

When I met my future wife she worked on the opposite side of Bangkok in her Mum's Restaurant. As I was taking a break from work for a few months I offered to replace the salary she was earning so that she could live with me permanently and she agreed. I paid her a modest salary (about 8k a month) from which she needed to buy anything she wanted.

Since then were married and I have quit my job and begun to set up my own business. The salary has stopped with no complaint, and we have switched to me giving a lump sum for all household bills plus things that she needs (lower than most suggested on this thread). I guess at the end of the month she is left with 3 - 4K. She hasn't complained at all as she knows that all money is our money and at present we need to be really careful until the business is on its feet.

The other day I found her counting out a load of coins from a jar she has in the bedroom. I helped her and it totalled 400 Baht. She was really happy and I asked her what she was going to use the money for. Her reply was that she had been saving all 5 and 1 baht coins for the last 2 months so that she could buy me a nice present on my birthday in 2 weeks time. That was the best present she could have given me.

To the OP. Marriage is about partnership. It is not a 'fair weather' arrangement. If it is held together by a gratuity alone then how does it differ from the many 'financial transactions' that happy every day in Nana, Cowboy, Pattaya etc? If your wife cannot cope with that reality now, surely it is better to address it than to continue to acquiesce and have her leave her at a time when you may need her support the most should your funds decline? Never be afraid of testing your marriage, it is a good barometer to what the future may hold.

Yeah Gabe. follow the man's advice and learn from it.

Also, it would be nice for you to show up and say something about all these comments

[udon]

Gabe: Last Active Today, 2006-07-23 02:02:51 (AEST)

[alexth]

Gabe: Last Active Today, 2006-07-23 02:02:51 (AEST)

Yeah...no posts, though

[tourleadersi]

Gabe: Last Active Today, 2006-07-23 02:02:51 (AEST)

Yeah...no posts, though

Maybe the wife really didn't like the paycut?! Snippety snip!

[sbk]

Maybe he's too embarassed now, esp after all the posts suggesting he is either treating his wife like an employee or a child by giving her an allowance.

[Kerryd]

To all those that seem upset about giving the "wife" an allowance. If she isn't working, what is she supposed to do for money ?

If he is the sole breadwinner, but she pays the bills, what is he supposed to do, Put some money in a brown paper bag and "pretend" to lose it where she can find it ? Come on.

What is he doesn't have a Thai bank account for some reason, or a joint account ? I know guys that give their "partner" so much every week. The partner then uses that money to buy food and pay bills. Left over money is squirrelled away for special occasions.

I also know people in Canada that do much the same thing. So much goes to the wife's account, so much to the joint account, and a little left over for the guy who earned it to have some fun or what ever.

I also knew some <deleted> that had their pay going into their personal account, and would go away on training course and such, leaving the wife with nothing.

I also knew a guy that almost got brained with a rolling pin when his wife found out he had been getting a $5 a day allowance while doing field training (in the army. For every 24 hour period we were out in the training area, we got an extra $5.00, minus taxes). All of his other pay went into their joint account that she controlled. When she found out he was getting this little extra paid in cash, she almost clobbered him. Upset at the thought he might want to spend some of the money he had to sweat blood to earn.

Part of the problem with situations like these is that we rarely get to see/hear the whole story.

[alexth]

To all those that seem upset about giving the "wife" an allowance. If she isn't working, what is she supposed to do for money ?

If he is the sole breadwinner, but she pays the bills, what is he supposed to do, Put some money in a brown paper bag and "pretend" to lose it where she can find it ? Come on.

What is he doesn't have a Thai bank account for some reason, or a joint account ? I know guys that give their "partner" so much every week. The partner then uses that money to buy food and pay bills. Left over money is squirrelled away for special occasions.

I also know people in Canada that do much the same thing. So much goes to the wife's account, so much to the joint account, and a little left over for the guy who earned it to have some fun or what ever.

I also knew some <deleted> that had their pay going into their personal account, and would go away on training course and such, leaving the wife with nothing.

I also knew a guy that almost got brained with a rolling pin when his wife found out he had been getting a $5 a day allowance while doing field training (in the army. For every 24 hour period we were out in the training area, we got an extra $5.00, minus taxes). All of his other pay went into their joint account that she controlled. When she found out he was getting this little extra paid in cash, she almost clobbered him. Upset at the thought he might want to spend some of the money he had to sweat blood to earn.

Part of the problem with situations like these is that we rarely get to see/hear the whole story.

<deleted>??? Ok, if the money are for bills, food or childs education, yes, the guy is an ######. If the money are for perfumes, fashion or any else crap...why wouldn't she get a job? It's something like "Hey, you work, I stay home and watch TV and clean the house sometimes, I don't need to cook since you're away, but what YOU make we split 50/50"

Couples should help eachother, not having argues about splitting the money that he or she is making.

And anyway, as far as I see it this is not Gabe's case, maybe I'm being rude, but what I think is that the guy's wife is a bargirl that finally decided to merry him and now she expects more over half of what she was doing before and getting to be a respectable house lady...I know, there is also the other scam when the girl is not a bargirl, but a freelancer and they all come and say "Oh no, I met my wife in a shopping mall...". Gabe, if you want to have somebody around to support you when you're having hard times, look elsewhere

Edited July 23, 2006 by alexth

[Sing_Sling]

Bills are bills and cost a certain amount. Are these amounts the same every month?

Why does the wife not have access to an account to pay bills?

All of this sounds too much like husbands don't trust their wives and give them money to bay bills and pocketmoney.

[tourleadersi]

Bills are bills and cost a certain amount. Are these amounts the same every month?

Why does the wife not have access to an account to pay bills?

All of this sounds too much like husbands don't trust their wives and give them money to bay bills and pocketmoney.

You're right, it does sound that way.

In my defence I give my wife my ATM card and she transfers the money from my account to hers. This makes it easier to keep track of. The remaining balance at the end of the month gets put into her savings account. As for other money, if she needs anything she just asks me (only because I am the one keeping track of what money is where) and I give her the relevant ATM card. There are no questions like "How much?" (except if the accounts are low so I get the right account) or "What for?" I trust her implicitly. When I work overseas I leave her all but one ATM card with details on how much money is in each should there be an emergency with her or her family. Thats happened about 15 times and she has never once made a withdrawl. She knows how much I earn, and I show her the different bank statements from time to time, although she really isn't interested preferring to leave me to sort that side of things out myself.

[Lacoste]

To all those that seem upset about giving the "wife" an allowance. If she isn't working, what is she supposed to do for money ?

What did they do for money before they met the sponser?

[gabe]

I intentionally left some information out of my original post in order to protect both mine and my wifes privacy.

[Sing_Sling]

Bills are bills and cost a certain amount. Are these amounts the same every month?

Why does the wife not have access to an account to pay bills?

All of this sounds too much like husbands don't trust their wives and give them money to bay bills and pocketmoney.

You're right, it does sound that way.

In my defence I give my wife my ATM card and she transfers the money from my account to hers. This makes it easier to keep track of. The remaining balance at the end of the month gets put into her savings account. As for other money, if she needs anything she just asks me (only because I am the one keeping track of what money is where) and I give her the relevant ATM card. There are no questions like "How much?" (except if the accounts are low so I get the right account) or "What for?" I trust her implicitly. When I work overseas I leave her all but one ATM card with details on how much money is in each should there be an emergency with her or her family. Thats happened about 15 times and she has never once made a withdrawl. She knows how much I earn, and I show her the different bank statements from time to time, although she really isn't interested preferring to leave me to sort that side of things out myself.

Sounds like a relationship based on mutaul respect, honesty and integrity, tourleadersi - values that seem to be missing in many of the wife/finance departments in many posts. Good for you.

[meemiathai]

If one wants to see most idiots at the same time, this is the right place! Sorry for being rude, but I have always been honest, you see.

I make 20-30k HK dollars a month working 10 days. My wife makes 5k working 26 days.

What do you expect? Should we be sharing all the bills? Should I take a taxi and ask her to take a bus? Should I be eating in a nice restaurant and tell her to eat in the streets herself?

Does Bill Gates live with his wife? Do they share all the expenses? Is she a prostitute?

Me and my wife share everything! She can have more than I do!

[lannarebirth]

I intentionally left some information out of my original post in order to protect both mine and my wifes privacy.

Yes, I can understand why you might want to do that. Were any of the responses helpful to you? Have you decided how best to achieve your aims? I give you credit for returning to more than a few smart ass replies.