The long con......scam

[benalibina]

I just came across the above in an other topic and it got me thinking.

Why men/women engage in it is obvious......

But i am interested in knowing about the dynamics.....and psychology behind it.

What are the signs to watch out for to know if one is being conned during the relationship ?

Is it a well thought out plan or it just happens in time and does the conman/woman act on instinct ?

When does the con come to an end ?

From a thai perspective....as the familybond is in general very close, are the chances bigger therefore that it is a plan supported and/or steered by the elder siblings or even parents in the family ? Peerpressure.

This thread is not intended for thai bashing purposes....i truly hope that posters who, unfortunately, have been on the wrong side of the coin and others want to share their experiences/thoughts and maybe on this way prevent people, who read this forum, from making a possible similar mistake. Most likely to no avail because ours is always different but....

Kapom.

[Costas2008]

If it is tooooooooo good to be true, it's not true.

Simples.

[thehelmsman]

When the furniture and new car is missing.

[petermik]

When she shares the bed with her "brother"

[krisb]

When does the con come to an end ?

When she's gone and all your stuff as well.

[mrtoad]

When she hides your gerbil

[Banzai99]

I wasn't a dinosaur when I came to Thailand so I don't think about those things.

If I had been and " Attracted, Paid for " a partner 30 years younger than me, I would accept that she's in it for the long haul to get my money, if I was in my 60's or 70's I would be a total fool to think a woman 30-40 years younger was with me for any other reason than financial gain.

Edited October 6, 2014 by Banzai99

[jamtomorrow]

I wasn't a dinosaur when I came to Thailand so I don't think about those things.

If I had been and " Attracted, Paid for " a partner 30 years younger than me, I would accept that she's in it for the long haul to get my money, if I was in my 60's or 70's I would be a total fool to think a woman 30-40 years younger was with me for any other reason than financial gain.

No shortage of fools here and those willing to be fooled

[Banzai99]

I wasn't a dinosaur when I came to Thailand so I don't think about those things.

If I had been and " Attracted, Paid for " a partner 30 years younger than me, I would accept that she's in it for the long haul to get my money, if I was in my 60's or 70's I would be a total fool to think a woman 30-40 years younger was with me for any other reason than financial gain.

No shortage of fools here and those willing to be fooled

So true.

[Cypress Hill]

If a man wants to allow himself to be fooled and it's not hurting anyone, I certainly don't have an issue with it . . .

. . . until he struts onto the forum telling everyone he's a bloody legend and that his 30 year younger wife/GF isn't with him for the monthly stipend he peels off to his new "family"

The first sign it's a con is when the woman avoids kissing at all costs.

Don't tell me Thai women don't like kissing.

ALL women like kissing.

[willyumiii]

All relationships are some what of a con.

No matter what country or with who.

Relationships are a compromise, doing and saying what you don't necessarily want to do and say in order to keep the peace and obtain what you need from the relationship.

I have seen proof of this when relationships end..by separations or even by death of one partner.

When it's over, people stop doing what they only did to keep the other happy.

A man who spends a lot of time keeping the house neat and maintained in good order who let's it all go to crap when he is on his own.

I noticed this when my mother died years ago.

Many things I thought were important to my father suddenly werenot important when she was gone.

The woman who keeps herself looking great when in the relationship, doesn't really care when she alone and isn't looking to hold on to someone.

I'm not being negative, just realistic.

All relationships entail some conning and all cons are not just about money.

[Berkshire]

If it is tooooooooo good to be true, it's not true.

Simples.

It really is that simple. It's almost like someone falling for one of those Nigerian scams. You'd have to be both greedy and stupid. In this case, greed doesn't necessarily have to be for money, but for wanting something that you may not be entitled to. Stupid is not seeing the signs.

I would think that the true long con is pretty rare, from beginning to end. I mean, who can keep up the facade for that long? Could be that a woman starts out a relationship thinking that she could over time fall in love with the guy. Once she realizes that it will never happen, or that she's in love with someone else, then the "con" may start. But then I'm not in that Pattaya/Phuket scene, so maybe it's more common than I know.

[Berkshire]

If a man wants to allow himself to be fooled and it's not hurting anyone, I certainly don't have an issue with it . . .

. . . until he struts onto the forum telling everyone he's a bloody legend and that his 30 year younger wife/GF isn't with him for the monthly stipend he peels off to his new "family"

The first sign it's a con is when the woman avoids kissing at all costs.

Don't tell me Thai women don't like kissing.

ALL women like kissing.

I recall some guy actually asking that very question on TV, whether Thai women liked to kiss. It seems the guy was dating a woman who told him that, clearly because she wasn't the least interested in having his mouth anywhere near her. It's amazing what some guys will believe.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The biggest con is letting you think you will still be having sex with her after the first year (or two) of marriage.

[ATF]

It's the difference between buying a pick-up or a Lamborghini.

The pick-up will probably never break down and the running costs are low.

The Lamborghini will cost a fortune and inevitably leave you stranded sooner or later, but you'll have a lot more fun along the way.

[J Bradley]

Relationships are a compromise, doing and saying what you don't necessarily want to do and say in order to keep the peace and obtain what you need from the relationship. I have seen proof of this when relationships end..by separations or even by death of one partner. When it's over, people stop doing what they only did to keep the other happy. A man who spends a lot of time keeping the house neat and maintained in good order who let's it all go to crap when he is on his own. I noticed this when my mother died years ago. Many things I thought were important to my father suddenly were not important when she was gone.

That sounds like mild depression.

One thing for sure is that men gain more from marriage than women. Aren't married men supposed to live longer than single men, while single women outlive married women? You may need to Google this, by the way.

[thehelmsman]

All relationships are some what of a con. No matter what country or with who. Relationships are a compromise, doing and saying what you don't necessarily want to do and say in order to keep the peace and obtain what you need from the relationship. I have seen proof of this when relationships end..by separations or even by death of one partner. When it's over, people stop doing what they only did to keep the other happy. A man who spends a lot of time keeping the house neat and maintained in good order who let's it all go to crap when he is on his own. I noticed this when my mother died years ago. Many things I thought were important to my father suddenly werenot important when she was gone. The woman who keeps herself looking great when in the relationship, doesn't really care when she alone and isn't looking to hold on to someone. I'm not being negative, just realistic. All relationships entail some conning and all cons are not just about money.

Way too much common sense there, could we Please just focus on the negative and make fun of the guys who are content to make a life for themselves.

[Cypress Hill]

The biggest con is letting you think you will still be having sex with her after the first year (or two) of marriage.

Sorry but that's a load of horse s**t.

[SoiBiker]

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All relationships are some what of a con. No matter what country or with who. Relationships are a compromise, doing and saying what you don't necessarily want to do and say in order to keep the peace and obtain what you need from the relationship. I have seen proof of this when relationships end..by separations or even by death of one partner. When it's over, people stop doing what they only did to keep the other happy. A man who spends a lot of time keeping the house neat and maintained in good order who let's it all go to crap when he is on his own. I noticed this when my mother died years ago. Many things I thought were important to my father suddenly werenot important when she was gone. The woman who keeps herself looking great when in the relationship, doesn't really care when she alone and isn't looking to hold on to someone. I'm not being negative, just realistic. All relationships entail some conning and all cons are not just about money.

The biggest con is letting you think you will still be having sex with her after the first year (or two) of marriage.

Top class Thaivisa bitter nonsense.

[David48]

If a man wants to allow himself to be fooled and it's not hurting anyone, I certainly don't have an issue with it . . .

. . . until he struts onto the forum telling everyone he's a bloody legend and that his 30 year younger wife/GF isn't with him for the monthly stipend he peels off to his new "family"

The first sign it's a con is when the woman avoids kissing at all costs.

Don't tell me Thai women don't like kissing.

ALL women like kissing.

I think if I went the pash on my (future) Sister-in-Law ... I might get rejected ...

I'm a very hansum man you know!

[AlexRRR]

Whos conning who? seen enough to know that both sides of the coin get involved becasue there lonely/ afraid to be alone/think this is what they want etc etc...

Sure i belive some are scams, and if they work out for the scamer its becasue most of the time the other person is a jerk, very few can pull it off unless the other party is blinded by what they want to hear, often there are enough signs over a long enough period of time for warning bells to go off, it really comes down to where were at in our lives.

[David48]

If it is tooooooooo good to be true, it's not true.

Simples.

Dear Khun Costas ... every-time I look at my Family, the beautiful MissFarmGirl, the Twins, my current situation, everyone's health who is my immediate Family ... my good friends on the Forum ... I think it's too good to be true.

Heck, I'm even excited the mosquitoes aren't in plague proportions like they are most times I stay at the Farm.

I reckon I'm a lucky man and that 'it's all too good to be true'.

But, I will admit, on the down side, one of the Farm Dogs passed on Sunday ... but he was 16 ... so a good innings there also.

Heck, we (MissFarmGirl) and me even got a night in Bangkok free of the two little terrors on Sunday (cared for by the Thai Rellies), and got to watch a Football final with a few friends from the Forum.

But, no good deed goes unpunished ... they found a pair of Jeans of mine and ...

Maybe, I just going trough a Purple Patch ... and my world will come crashing down soon.

Edited October 6, 2014 by David48

[Cypress Hill]

Plenty of giveaways but only to the man who hasn't closed off his senses to avoid disappointment

If you have to work at getting laid, if she ignores or is indifferent toward you and/or your opinion, if she openly flirts with other men in your presence then you may have a problem.

I won't say it's a con because she may not necessarily be looking to take your money; she might just think you're boring as hell

[Cypress Hill]

But, no good deed goes unpunished ... they found a pair of Jeans of mine and ...

received_1540867326148212 LR.jpeg

You're not the reincarnation of "theblether", are you?

[petermik]

If a man wants to allow himself to be fooled and it's not hurting anyone, I certainly don't have an issue with it . . .

. . . until he struts onto the forum telling everyone he's a bloody legend and that his 30 year younger wife/GF isn't with him for the monthly stipend he peels off to his new "family"

The first sign it's a con is when the woman avoids kissing at all costs.

Don't tell me Thai women don't like kissing.

ALL women like kissing.

Some women have faces that only a mother would kiss

[Gracas]

My Wife (well GF as we are not officially married) decided to use the "Long Con" on me.

How long does the Long Con last ???

I am not really sure as it has been 25 year now, but it would have to be another six months on top of this as we are currently renovating the house.

I do have to give her credit though she is persistent. I guess if she owned jet ski's I would really be in trouble.

[David48]

But, no good deed goes unpunished ... they found a pair of Jeans of mine and ...

received_1540867326148212 LR.jpeg

You're not the reincarnation of "theblether", are you?

No, and sadly, I don't have his penmanship skills either.

.

[rgs2001uk]

If a man wants to allow himself to be fooled and it's not hurting anyone, I certainly don't have an issue with it . . .

. . . until he struts onto the forum telling everyone he's a bloody legend and that his 30 year younger wife/GF isn't with him for the monthly stipend he peels off to his new "family"

The first sign it's a con is when the woman avoids kissing at all costs.

Don't tell me Thai women don't like kissing.

ALL women like kissing.

I recall some guy actually asking that very question on TV, whether Thai women liked to kiss. It seems the guy was dating a woman who told him that, clearly because she wasn't the least interested in having his mouth anywhere near her. It's amazing what some guys will believe.

Up my way there is a NZ TEFLr type sending money to a Tom every month.

Everyone knows whats going on, including her family and her Dee lover.

This hapless tawat was trying to tell me he has got a "good one" because they havent had sex yet, she is saving herself for the marriage day (which will never happen).

Gotta love the 2 week millionaires and their know everything mentallity.

[elliss]

When does the con come to an end ?

When she finds a new farlang , he have money more .

I was that farlang .

[THssii]

It really is that simple. It's almost like someone falling for one of those Nigerian scams. You'd have to be both greedy and stupid. In this case, greed doesn't necessarily have to be for money, but for wanting something that you may not be entitled to.

Oh sure, a bar girl is something that only a few of us are entitled to.

Edited October 6, 2014 by THssii