Goanna Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 my wife's daughter is 17 years old. She dropped out of her thai school at 14, but has done grade 10 and 11 in Australia. She wasn't able to learn that much, but has a reasonable grasp of English. At the moment, she is at a loose end in Thailand, and engaged to a young thai guy. I would appreciate any suggestions for a job, live in maybe, or an education opportunity, live in. She has worked at a restaurant for a month live in, but she's too spoilt and threw it in. I'm thinking maybe a hairdresser internship or something. Any ideas please? She can't just hang around mum forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post manarak Posted October 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted October 22, 2014 Most Thais of that - err... - calibre I know are not interested at all in a career or in working a job... If there is no motivation to do anything, nothing will be done. Now the only thing that's still missing is getting a child from the Thai BF who then takes off.You can imagine what will happen at that point. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torrens54 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 (edited) Get her back to school, even part time. You may find she has a new understanding of how important an education is. With her English skills, how about a part time job at something like Mc Donalds, Burger King, Starbucks....even if the wage is poor, it would be excellent Training for her and later she can move on to bigger and better. You are going to have to MOTIVATE her before the B/F gets her pregnant, leaves her and she ruins her life. Fingers crossed....wishing you both well!! Edited October 22, 2014 by Torrens54 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post steveG Posted October 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted October 22, 2014 A very sad case indeed. From personal experience I would recommend a tough approach. Warn that there will be no further support, she is on her own, and get your Mrs to endorse this as well. In your case it may be too late to avoid the trauma of what this 17 year old is going to do. Protect yourself as much as possible from the personal and financial repercussions of your daughters future actions. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post innerspace Posted October 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted October 22, 2014 Stop paying her bills else she will enjoy the easy life. Get tough, bed and rice, any more she needs to pay herself. No work, she helps around the house... Risk of backfiring but more risk from continuing full support. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post khwaibah Posted October 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted October 22, 2014 You stand zero chance. Your wife is the only person that stands a chance. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlyAnimal Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Sounds like she's already made a lot of choices in life, from which it'll be difficult for her to recover (career etc wise). She's really got 3 options: 1/ Start a qualification which would allow entrance to university, so that she can then continue on the "normal" path. This should be possible within 1-2 years via studying at the "Gor Sor Nor" or "School of non-formal education". Although she has to want to do it, and from what you've said I'm not sure how interested in studying she is. 2/ Start learning a trade which doesn't require university, maybe as a chef or something similar, find out what she's passionate about, as otherwise she might not really be interested in doing it. 3/ You provide for her, either as a sponge who sucks up your money each month, or you setup a small business and let her work in it, which she would eventually manage. Something which of course doesn't require too much trade specific skills, maybe something like a cafe or a small shop. The cost of setting up something like this in a small town would be minimal, the returns probably would too, but then you've done your bit, and if she runs it well, she'll make money, if she doesn't.... then she won't. You can recoup your costs of setting up the business from her Sin Sod when she eventually gets married. The most important thing, is that she does what she feels she would like to do, and what plays towards her strengths. Also of course explain to her that children are expensive, and that marriages are expensive. Ensure that she's aware, that getting married or having kids is something she should only do once she's financially stable. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SantiSuk Posted October 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted October 22, 2014 (edited) Stick her in the army - that'll sort her out! I am being more than flippant. My lazyish and not too bright (but nonetheless a sweetie) adopted 17 year old has suddenly found a purpose in life, doing soldier training in her last year at school. She seems determined to sign up. Edited October 22, 2014 by SantiSuk 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpanther99 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 (edited) If shes can get into university then maybe that's something to consider but then again, universities in Thailand are expensive and I'm not altogether sure how much she'll actually learn, given that every student 'passes' anyway. Also, a degree from university in Thailand isn't very highly regarded in other countries. OK, maybe this is something you hadn't considered but... How about setting her on her way to learning how to code? She doesn't have to be a real techie just have an interest in learning something new. The very basics of learning to code can be done online via sites such as these: http://www.codecademy.com/about http://code.org/ Open to people from all ages to grasp the basics of computer science. Sounds very technical, but the reality is quite different and with regards to the basics can be fun too, especially for kids as they can make their own computer games and even mobile apps. There is a massive need for people to be able to code. Within the next decade this will only increase and the need to be able to code will be the same as being able to use say Microsoft Word or sending an email is today. I'll start teaching my daughter the very basics of code as soon as she is old enough to sit still for more than two minutes, probably using something like I've linked above. In an ideal world, Thailand would start teaching code in IT classes now. If in the next decade Thailand could produce a generation of people who knew how to code I can't begin to imagine what opportunities would occur not only for those individuals but also for the country and its economy as a whole. But like I said, that would be in an ideal world.... Anyway, do your own research on the subject. Good luck! Edited October 23, 2014 by pinkpanther99 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkpanther99 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Also, at 17 don't worry too much about having a career. There's still a long way to go! How many here started a career at 17 to still be doing that job 30 years later? I had no idea what I wanted to do at 17 and now that I'm 30, part of me still doesn't! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wat dee Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 She probably has a bun in the oven already...Congrats grandpapa! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A1Str8 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 17 already engaged. Don't wanna work. I wish the best really. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuketrichard Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Personal input. my daughter ( now 20) started uni in the states in the environmental dept. She had a international education here in Phuket after 1 year she stated finding it was not for her so got a job as a vet tech and loves it, is now registered in the Vet tech program in the local community school, where after 1 year class and 2 years work experience she gets a full vet tech credentials which helps for vet school. makes good $$ , but better loves it, Always demand for vets let her find something she likes to do.. give her time 17 is a tough age. With grants/scholarships and being able to work p/t school in the states is cheaper/better than Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post whiteman Posted October 23, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted October 23, 2014 Well I would get her on the pill or injection is safer if she can not remember to take the pill. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuskfish Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 If she enjoys hospitality, check out some of the supported hotel programs. There are a number of large hotel chains that will even offer a room for trainees as part of their corporate social responsibility programs. This may mean be isolated from family though which is tricky. http://www.traininghotels.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pii Kate Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Seems to me the best way to fail is for you to decide what work would be best for her. Can you engage her in a decision that will greatly effect her life, future, etc.? Let her live, unsupported, with her BF and see how long it takes her to get serious about an education/work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ming Mueng Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Don't do nothing, she will not listening to you, maybe to her mother, but if her mother wasn't able to do anything in 17 years I doubt this teen is teachable any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnniey Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Mate, change your ways quickly or you'll be walked all over.Who paid for her 2 year trip to OZ, where she couldn't even become fluent in English?What does her mother say?The mother is the key here - young women follow their mothers footsteps/advice.Does her mother work?In the cases I've seen, the young girl gets pregnant and then when the kid's about 5 will go online to find a gullible farang who she knows will marry a woman with a kid and spoil then rotten. Possibly she thinks you will take care of everyone regardless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jomcondo Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 She sounds like a candidate for the bus to pattaya, only she hasn't had the baby and financial struggle yet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyumiii Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Hmmmmm. Should be titled " Path to a Career or Even a Job for Daughter" You should have been thinking about this years ago. Good luck to you and to her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry15 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Go to a hospital and let the doctor prescribe anti conception medicine for her, so she don't get pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krataiboy Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 A very sad case indeed. From personal experience I would recommend a tough approach. Warn that there will be no further support, she is on her own, and get your Mrs to endorse this as well. In your case it may be too late to avoid the trauma of what this 17 year old is going to do. Protect yourself as much as possible from the personal and financial repercussions of your daughters future actions. . . . and get your Mrs to endorse this as well. Good luck with that. A Thai wife who puts the desires of her husband above those of her children. It'll be a first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huawei Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Mate, change your ways quickly or you'll be walked all over.Who paid for her 2 year trip to OZ, where she couldn't even become fluent in English?What does her mother say?The mother is the key here - young women follow their mothers footsteps/advice.Does her mother work?In the cases I've seen, the young girl gets pregnant and then when the kid's about 5 will go online to find a gullible farang who she knows will marry a woman with a kid and spoil then rotten. Possibly she thinks you will take care of everyone regardless. If as you say they follow the mother, then she will end up with a farang husband based on that logic, because she will see it as easy. You are probably right. Also if the husband is retired, they see no work ethic because he isn't working ..and think that's been his life forever probably. Combine that with the wife probably not working which seems to be the case with most wives of retirees ( they want to be looked after!!) then there simply isn't any real example to follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulic Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Tour guides do well and with a good grasp of English she has a good opening. Back to school and get whatever certificate she needs. Also a little tough love will be needed on your wife's part. As long as she has access to the good life (your cash) there is no need to do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGD Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 17 already engaged. Don't wanna work. I wish the best really. Stopping her getting babied up, dropped by the father and your wife left to carry the can (and baby) while she continues to pay around (and has other kids by more runaway fathers) is the main priority. I echo getting her into the Army, stopping the cash handouts etc. but be too mean and she might just head off to Pattaya or similar. I doubt if you can get rid of the lecherous Thai BF. As for university, what sort of education can be derived from a place which lets people in who have no real qualifications or ability ? A pathway to university may be an option but that is work, which seems to be low down on the list of priorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puchooay Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 A very sad case indeed. From personal experience I would recommend a tough approach. Warn that there will be no further support, she is on her own, and get your Mrs to endorse this as well. In your case it may be too late to avoid the trauma of what this 17 year old is going to do. Protect yourself as much as possible from the personal and financial repercussions of your daughters future actions. . . . and get your Mrs to endorse this as well. Good luck with that. A Thai wife who puts the desires of her husband above those of her children. It'll be a first. Make that, at least, a second. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquorice Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Her career will be looking after a child and a husband from the sounds of it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 She sounds like a candidate for the bus to pattaya, only she hasn't had the baby and financial struggle yet. What the heck is a 17 year old uneducated girl doing living on her own in Issan? Why isnt she with the mother in Ozzy land? The OP had best get his head round the fact that sooner or later, not only will he be supporting his wife, he will be supporting her daughter, probably worthless layabout from hick village, and the soon to be obligatory kid that will soon appear. From my observations, the umbilical cord is never cut, it will always be present tyeing the mohter to her child. Sorry to appear harsh, this girls life is already over and her future path already cemented. Watched it with my own two eyes, two farang with Thai wives and daughters, both girls now 23 years old. Both girls went to an international school, on leaving school one girl went to uni and graduated and has now landed a job in the Uk paying 26 grand per year. The other was too lazy/thick to go to uni, now has two kids and the dumb farang husband supports the daughter her kids and her worthless husband, his retirement plans have been put on hold. Get this girl out of Issan asap and get her to Oz where she may stand a chance, providing she has a work ethic, it may well be too late to install one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maidee Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 surrogate mother for cash heard it is pretty "in" those days 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracas Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Without the Wife / Mother of this girl becoming strongly involved in her future I don't see any positive result. What does your wife have to say about this ? is she just as concerned as you or an "up to her" attitude. I see the biggest problem being the Thai B/F and the possibility of her becoming pregnant. All you can do is continue to motivate her and provide options... Good luck, hope it all works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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