Is it just me or are Thai people not very thankful of gifts?

[yzak]

I recently went back to the States and when I came back to Thailand I brought awesome oregon micro brews, smoked salmon, tons of nuts, beef jerky, and godiva chocolates. My Thai friends deserved the best! However, when I gave it to them, it was seriously very weird. Each person. It was like they didn't want it or something and it was taken so nonchalantly.

I gave many gifts to my friends before and it didn't seem like they were too happy. I thought my gifts were just bad But now...I am sure my gifts are good enough...so this was a bit strange. Maybe they don't like receiving like that?

I didn't give the gifts out in a big way either, I just said I brought a little something and simply handed them the stuff. All I wanted was a happy thank you!

On the other hand, I gave a gift to my foreigner friend and she nearly cried in joy...

Please let me know if you have similar experiences or tell me that it was just a one time thing.

[Hedghog]

Thought better of my comment.

Thus deleted.

Edited November 3, 2014 by Hedghog

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Generally the only gifts Thais exchange is some food they cooked, or purchased in the market or farm produce.

Maybe a plant or two from the garden.

[lust]

weirdo friends man.

[Neeranam]

They think you are "boon koon"ing.

[bkkgooner]

they sound like <deleted>, who doesn't get excited by fancy beer or smoked salmon?

I remember bringing chocolate back from home for some of the Thai teachers at my old school and they were very grateful, trust me this is not a thing that is commonplace in Thai culture I would imagine they are just not nice people or maybe they just weren't sure how to react to receiving such nice gifts?

[Costas2008]

Next time OP don't bother with gifts.

Just give them some bank notes, preferably Baht and they will be very thankful.

I speak from own experience.

[WhamBam]

Last year I brought back 2 large tins of Cadbury's chocolates. They went down a treat.

Perfume, 2 * 100 ml bottles. They were fought over because both were different. I should have bought 2 the same.

The various items of sexy lingerie I brought back were worn almost every night, hand washed and taken great care of.

I did research what was wanted before I brought them over.

[Soutpeel]

they sound like <deleted>, who doesn't get excited by fancy beer or smoked salmon?

I remember bringing chocolate back from home for some of the Thai teachers at my old school and they were very grateful, trust me this is not a thing that is commonplace in Thai culture I would imagine they are just not nice people or maybe they just weren't sure how to react to receiving such nice gifts?

and lest not forget there are lot of Thai's who dont eat beef - "beef jerky"....

[Jdietz]

Next time OP don't bother with gifts.

Just give them some bank notes, preferably Baht and they will be very thankful.

I speak from own experience.

But if you prefer something tangible, gold is also acceptable. Make sure it's the Thai proof gold, easily convertible.

Edited November 3, 2014 by Jdietz

[BonnieandClyde]

We've noticed something similar in the few years we've been here.

Possibly because they're not very demonstrative by nature in situations like this.

They're certainly not ungrateful, they just express gratitude differently than most of us do.

[Aussieroaming]

Maybe you expected too much.....gifts should be given with no thought of return. Nice gesture though to think of them and they are the losers for not accepting your good thoughts.

[gerry123]

you should talk with your fellow countryman TV poster he took milk and tissues to hospital patients he didnt even know

and wondered why they didnt want these offerings i think you should take a leaf from his book and disappear until your ego narrows

or just maybe you are the same person different avatar

[Ulysses G.]

Maybe it was stuff that Westerners like, but not very exciting to Thais. I would have been VERY grateful. Thais usually give something cheap and simple that is unique to the area that they visited.

Edited November 3, 2014 by Ulysses G.

[zydeco]

Next time OP don't bother with gifts.

Just give them some bank notes, preferably Baht and they will be very thankful.

I speak from own experience.

Yep, that'll do it. I frequently give the housekeeper extra fruit or other things from the market. She is thankful, but not demonstratively though. When the yearly bonus comes around, however, she is over the moon. And she also loves those 7-11 stamps. It may only be ten or twelve baht per week in those stamps, but she loves them better than 200 baht worth of fruit.

[harrry]

It is rude to show too much enjoyment of a gift. It is like saying the gift is more important and better than the person.

[samran]

The only thing on your list which would have gone down well is the chocolates.

Maybe the beer and the salmon with a thonglor trendy, but not much else.

Next time. Sweets all the way.

[BonnieandClyde]

It is rude to show too much enjoyment of a gift. It is like saying the gift is more important and better than the person.

"...rude to show too much enjoyment of a gift."

That's a big part of it... for sure.

[harrry]

The only thing on your list which would have gone down well is the chocolates.

Maybe the beer and the salmon with a thonglor trendy, but not much else.

Next time. Sweets all the way.

Sort of like those idiots who bring flowers to you in hospital rather than goodies to eat. (and maybe a hidden bottle of whisky in the cake.

[jdinasia]

As a general rule, Thai people don't open gifts in front of the giver. They say a polite thanks and let it go.

There are solid cultural reasons for this. Getting a gift creates an obligation and making it an important gift by showing delight makes the obligation stronger.

You will know your gift was appreciated if they begin to do more little things for you. Invitations to dinner etc. Finding things that you would enjoy. Etc

[BonnieandClyde]

As a general rule, Thai people don't open gifts in front of the giver. They say a polite thanks and let it go.

There are solid cultural reasons for this. Getting a gift creates an obligation and making it an important gift by showing delight makes the obligation stronger.

You will know your gift was appreciated if they begin to do more little things for you. Invitations to dinner etc. Finding things that you would enjoy. Etc

Insightful post.

That has been our experience exactly.

[ProThaiExpat]

There are many Buddhist scholars that may be able to enlighten us, but my observation is that Monks do not acknowledge a gift since the giver of the gift is earning merit. I have observed the same Thai reaction to gifts for many years here and have attributed it to the merit earned concept and Thais allowing you to earn merit without giving you joy for their showing appreciation

for the gift.

But I could be wrong!!!!

[jdinasia]

In CNX my friends across the street were my drinking buddies. I'd bring the bottle and they would buy the mixers.

It would often be anything I found around that I had not had in awhile. There was no way they could reciprocate at that level. We never talked about it.

I got sick for a few months while there. There wasn't a day that they didn't check on me, bring me food, take me to the Dr if I needed to go. Their friends took turns sleeping at my house until I got my balance back and my blood pressure normalized. I tried to thank them with a gift and it was rebuffed with a "You are family"

Friends to this day.

[ericnoodeeka]

thais dont thank u for nothing.dont waste ur time bying more gifts if its not gold.

and im not thai bashing, its just a different culture.they really nevr been told to say thank u.

[jdinasia]

thais dont thank u for nothing.dont waste ur time bying more gifts if its not gold.

and im not thai bashing, its just a different culture.they really nevr been told to say thank u.

Which of course is why there are many different ways to say thank you in Thai.

[yzak]

Thanks folks. I learned a lot about gift giving in general from your comments. Thank you again.

Edited November 3, 2014 by yzak

[daveAustin]

Yes, I too have noticed. I think bits of what has already been mentioned, plus some of your friends may not be well mannered or not very sophisticated. But more likely the emotional angle; keeping emotions in check (for the most part) is a big part of Thai culture. They may think they would embarrass themselves by letting go with a 'gee, thanks man!' and of course noticing that it was special, feeling awkwardly obligated as mentioned above. Certain gifts probably shouldn't be exchanged unless one were husband and wife.

[rgs2001uk]

There are two types of gifts the mrs brings back from overseas.

The first is for hillbilly types, the second for Thais in Bkk who have travelled overseas, dont confuse one with the other.

Under no circumstances let your upcountry friends get their hands of a decent (3000 baht) bottle of single malt, it will be polished off in double pronto time mixed with coke ice and soda water, then they will tell you they couldnt taste anything, and then proceed to tell you Thai Whisky (what an oxymoron) is better.

[jdinasia]

My neighbors learned to drink decent booze from me. They could appreciate a single malt, or an aged small batch bourbon, anejo tequila, or even crappy Jello shots by the time I left:)

[rijb]

They didn't do anything wrong. Educate yourself about their perspective.