Did i break the law? (defamation/cheating girl)

[razorramone]

I was dating a girl for six months, when I found out that all along she has a boyfriend back in her hometown. I was furious when I found out, and wanted to inform her boyfriend what she had been doing. I didnt have his name or anything, so i just posted up on her public facebook wall saying that she's been seeing two guys for the past six months.

I get an email/photo today saying that she has been to the police and reported me for slander, with printouts of the posts i made?! Apparently I have to meet her at the same police station Thursday to resolve the situation (also to resolve the problem of some money she borrowed, then used to go see him).

I didnt lie, i have evidence to back up everything i said... am I in trouble for this? I'm slightly worried, although if it was illegal wouldnt the police just come and arrest me? I thought I was just doing the honest thing.

Seperately, I guess I have to hire a translator to explain my side of things, anyone know how much they cost and where I can get one short notice?

[Honkie]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

[eldragon]

Why did you do that, mate? I think it's well known these girls all have a Thai guy in their back pocket and at least two of us on the go until one of em commits.

Anyway, I don't know if the police are taking her seriously or if you've committed any crime. But if they are and if you did, then they would not necessarily come looking for you. An arranged meeting is easier after all. Let's just hope they're really cops and not a couple guys waiting to sack ya. As a matter of fact, I might just skip that meeting all together and let the money go. The cops are probably gonna want some of that cash anyway, but I doubt they'll issue a warrant for some FB nonsense.

[razorramone]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

Edited November 10, 2014 by razorramone

[Honkie]

Do you really think you can get your money back？

Better go and consult a lawyer than asking for advice here. Just to let you know there are some real police for hire in Thailand，so cannot advise more as you know better how connected she could be.

[konying]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

If it was real, you would have been summoned by the police and not via email.

As others have said ignore and if you do get summoned by the police, take your evidence and a lawyer with you and while in the police station, file charges for extortion using her email demanding money

PS, being a uni student does not stop them from being part time or even full time hookers

Edited November 10, 2014 by konying

[eldragon]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

They're never too young to trick you. Some of those university girls have been working at the bars since they were 14. If you have documentation of the loan, you can offer the police a cut to get it back for you. Otherwise, it's her word against yours.

[animatic]

The truth is not a defense for public defamation.

This is the land of face before truth.

It's not that she has multiple boyfriends, but that you

called her out on it in a most public way, and she lost face.

The cops will be sympathetic to her for the lose of face,

far more than her getting 30k from you she didn't return.

And Thais think loans are more like gifts, repayment very optional.

The cops would be glad to take a cut for helping her,

stitch you up out of court, and put one over on a farang.

A court case could drag on interminably and they could impede you

freedom of movement too. But they prefer a quick back room shakedown.

[TheSpade]

I wouldn't go to the meeting. Could be big trouble for you.

Move apartment and move on from this girl. No shortage of them about for a 25 year old guy like yourself.

Edited November 10, 2014 by TheSpade

[NeverSure]

Animatic is right. In the West, truth is an absolute defense against defamation, and defamation isn't a crime. At most it's a civil matter with monetary penalties if any penalties at all (if you are sued.)

In Thailand truth is no defense and defamation is a crime.

I think you may have to settle this with the police, out of court, and the police taking a cut.

The loan is irrelevant.

Good luck.

[Gulfsailor]

Yep. Sounds like a case of defamation. Sorry to say this, but you got yourself in quite some trouble with this one. Thing is that it is not just a civil case she could file but the police could also make a criminal charge. First thing to check if her Facebook profile was set to private or public. If the first you may get a break as 'only' her friends saw your post. Anyway get yourself a good lawyer before you do anything further. And remove the post on this forum in which you admit wrongdoing. You then could claim your Facebook was hacked. (Long shot). Good luck.

[razorramone]

So out of curiousity and not wanting to wait till thursday, I took a taxi to the station just now. I didnt get much out of them... just a confirmation to come back thursday to 'talk' with the girl, me, an officer, and her.

Now looking at these posts talking about defamation is illegal here, even if its true. If there was a criminal charge they would have had me there, right?

[benalibina]

So out of curiousity and not wanting to wait till thursday, I took a taxi to the station just now. I didnt get much out of them... just a confirmation to come back thursday to 'talk' with the girl, me, an officer, and her.

Now looking at these posts talking about defamation is illegal here, even if its true. If there was a criminal charge they would have had me there, right?

No, that will ...hopefully not....be done at the meeting thursday.....

You better make sure you have a respected thai person coming along with you.

Be wary of a translator ordered to come by the police.

Good luck and do not underestimate the whole lot.

[Beetlejuice]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

Defamation in Thailand can be considered as both civil and a criminal offence depending on the circumstances.

I have warned my family a billion times, always be careful what they comment on facebook, it can have extreme or even fatal consequences. There have been many lives ruined and murders associated with facebook, in some cases what is published on there can be like taking a rope and hanging yourself.

Firstly even if your so-called girlfriend were seeing 50 guys behind your back she has not broken any laws, in fact she has no legal obligation to stay loyal to you, this is a private domestic matter between you and her, so placing details of someone's private life in the public domain in a derogatory way can be considered as deformation, especially if the persons on the receiving end claim that such comments have affected their careers, other relationships, their good name or reputations.

You said that, ‘you received an email/photo today saying that she has been to the police and reported you for slander, Apparently you have to meet her at the same police station Thursday to resolve the situation’. Questions: Have you received any official documentation from the said police station, or from her lawyer summoning you to the police station at a stated time? If not than do not turn up under any circumstances and ignore the email. Do not make any further correspondences with her or phone chats, the less said from now on, the less chance that you will incriminate yourself any further.

If in the case that this were a civil defamation case than this has nothing to do with the police, your girlfriend would require the services of a lawyer and take legal action via the civil court. If a criminal defamation case then the police are required to send you a direct notice to attend the police station not via a third party email, otherwise you are under no obligation to attend just on notice of an email from your girlfriend.

As regards the monies you alleged to have lent her, do you have any form of evidence that your girlfriend acknowledged the monies you handed over to her was a loan? If you do, than again that’s a civil case to be taken via the civil court system, if not, than you have not a cat in hells chance of grabbing even 1 baht back of the alleged loan.

If you do decide to turn up at the police station, than you do so at your own risk and discretion, my guess being that your girlfriend has reported the matter to the police and that all the police have done is made a report which under the law they are obliged to do, it`s just standard practice, does not mean that they will take any further action.

And now it`s up to you.

Edited November 10, 2014 by Beetlejuice

[Thai at Heart]

Yes you have defamed someone and unfortunately for you, it is easily traceable to your facebook. I would delete all records of the Facebook account instantly, and clear all the caches of it in your computers.

At least you would have a chance of claiming it wasn't you.

[MAJIC]

The ridiculous part of this silly Defamation Law is: it's not important if it is true or false, to be the subject of a Court action!

PS.'

Libel is the written word,and Slander is the spoken word!

[MAJIC]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

It would seem she realises the game is up,and the Golden Goose is about to fly,so she is looking for a Golden Egg,to take home to the other Boyfriend.

As someone has already said,don't have any of it,and don't give this scam credibility by turning up at the Police Station, if you do you will most certainly part with more money than you think!

[evadgib]

I'm calling troll but at this time of night i'm bored so here's my 2p:

1) The OP is under no obligation to report to a police station & certainly not without a summons or arrest.

2) Translations work two ways. Their (police) competence at deciphering anything allegedly written on FB etc will need to be supported by adequate qualification in the English language-Roti sellers an' all that.

3) Don't sign anything you cannot read & don't part company with your passport.

TROLL

Edited November 10, 2014 by evadgib

[bartender100]

She is certainly not getting you there to give you your money back, she is going to ask for a heck of a lot more

Edited November 10, 2014 by bartender100

[Beetlejuice]

I'm calling troll but at this time of night i'm bored so here's my 2p:

1) The OP is under no obligation to report to a police station & certainly not without a summons or arrest.

2) Translations work two ways. Their (police) competence at deciphering anything allegedly written on FB etc will need to be supported by adequate qualification in the English language-Roti sellers an' all that.

TROLL

Troll or not, this is a good warning to others who may consider committing such reckless acts without thought and in anger, which could end up costing them dear.

My advice is; beware of what you publish on facebook, social networking sites and in the public domain, because eventually it could all come right back and smack you in the face.

In my day the common logic was; if you`re going to do the sneaky deeds, don`t leave any evidence and always be discrete.

[evadgib]

So out of curiousity and not wanting to wait till thursday, I took a taxi to the station just now. I didnt get much out of them... just a confirmation to come back thursday to 'talk' with the girl, me, an officer, and her.

[wprime]

Not sure about Thailand but in some jurisdictions truth is not an absolute defense, often public interest is required too. If you can demonstrate that she scammed you (e.g. convinced you she was loyal to you in order to get money from you) then you should also file a report for this - this is fraud and she can be compelled by law to repay any money that can be proven. This in conjunction with your evidence should also be a sufficient defense against her defamation suit (i.e. you're trying to protect others from her scam).

[NanLaew]

As mentioned earlier, the OP should close the FB account; takes about 2 weeks from when it is initiated.

While you are waiting for that to happen, grow up!

Since you have already visited the police station (a very clear instance of What On Earth Are You Thinking?) so there will be no telling you that you should NOT attend such a meeting.

Tell-all posts on another persons online social media just because you were cuckolded? She may look like a cheat to some people but you look more like a dill to a lot more people (now includes TV members reading this topic).

Oh yes, the 'loan' wasn't a loan. She was taking a NON-REFUNDABLE security deposit on the patch of her personal real estate that you were regularly parking your Hummer in.

Edited November 10, 2014 by NanLaew

[wooloomooloo]

How old are you, razorramone? I'm tempted to state that you deserve everything that's coming your way, that's if this's a serious thread at all.

Posting hearsay about a girl on FB is the work of an ill-tempered and insecure child.

If you're being serious, then you're not going to be the victor in this instance and taking a financial hit at the offices of the BIB is your best bet to extricate yourself from future potential problems. There are those that'll hit you in its severest form for far less, particularly in Thailand.

[neverdie]

The truth is not a defense for public defamation.

This is the land of face before truth.

It's not that she has multiple boyfriends, but that you

called her out on it in a most public way, and she lost face.

The cops will be sympathetic to her for the lose of face,

far more than her getting 30k from you she didn't return.

And Thais think loans are more like gifts, repayment very optional.

The cops would be glad to take a cut for helping her,

stitch you up out of court, and put one over on a farang.

A court case could drag on interminably and they could impede you

freedom of movement too. But they prefer a quick back room shakedown.

The voice of experience has spoken & well said as usual.

OP, Forget about the last loan & brace yourself for the upcoming bleeding, which will be either more baht out of the bank account or more baht out of the bank account.

Please think before acting in future.

Fancy getting yourself in strife over skirt in LOS. Dude it's everywhere, use it to your advantage, for god sake don't let take control of you.

[fitfalang]

How old are you, razorramone? I'm tempted to state that you deserve everything that's coming your way, that's if this's a serious thread at all.

Posting hearsay about a girl on FB is the work of an ill-tempered and insecure child.

If you're being serious, then you're not going to be the victor in this instance and taking a financial hit at the offices of the BIB is your best bet to extricate yourself from future potential problems. There are those that'll hit you in its severest form for far less, particularly in Thailand.

Perhaps, but I think he did a good job at getting back at her, it definitely seems to have worked lol! At least he's doing a favour warning any potential victims on her friends list..

[mitsubishi]

Just ignore it. What personal details of yours does she have

Address, number, all the usual. She has certainly been to the police, she took photos there along with some sort of report.

I would like to go to the appointment, because perhaps I'll get the 30 grand back which she tricked me out of. She says I 'damaged her reputation' by posting about it on facebook. But I'm not the one who was sleeping around? I don't think I'm in the wrong, but this is thailand, i know the laws here are quite different from back home. I did make posts baring all the details which all her FB friends could see.

(For some context, I'm 25 and working here for 3 years now, she's a first year college student. I thought too young to trick me for money!).

Screw the 30 grand, it could end up costing you that and more.

Change locations and write it off to experience. When Thai women lose face they are ferocious in wishing revenge.

[zzdocxx]

30K baht or some other currency ?

Please clarify once and for all -- have you received any official summons or other communication directly from police ? Why do you say "apparently" you have to meet her there ?

If you can't answer this you aren't thinking clearly and either way you might need professional legal counsel.

[cgphuket]

Posting revenge on someones facebook page? Typical behavior if you are12 years old. Did your mommy let you come to Thailand all by yourself? Best catch the next flight our since you know nothing of Thailand or its people.

[meatboy]

How old are you, razorramone? I'm tempted to state that you deserve everything that's coming your way, that's if this's a serious thread at all.

Posting hearsay about a girl on FB is the work of an ill-tempered and insecure child.

If you're being serious, then you're not going to be the victor in this instance and taking a financial hit at the offices of the BIB is your best bet to extricate yourself from future potential problems. There are those that'll hit you in its severest form for far less, particularly in Thailand.

he will have a biger problem when her brother finds out.his feelings will be hurt.best you get on your horse and leave town while you are still in one piece.