My Ex-GF has got cancer - Should i help? What to do?

[Straight8]

Why are you even asking us ? If you want to help then do it, if not don't. Are you looking for exoneration in case you decide not to? As one post said,she has made her choice. The doc said it is terminal, so what help were you thinking of ? still, if you have a spare million Baht go ahead if you're sure it's not a scam. For your exoneration, i wouldn't do it.

Well said.

Seems every time someone says don;t help, leave it alone, you counter reply with a reason in favour to help, so it seems you want to help, just do.

Edited November 20, 2014 by Straight8

[Wan123]

Firstly, regarding the "other guy" you must realize that 20,000,000 people come thru here every year, and the chances that a woman might meet a man, when she works in a bar and in general, these places cater to men as you know...the chances are that many women have relationships behind someone's back because they can. That does not mean or never meant that you are not her man. That means she is not to be measured by Western standards, this is not the West. She was entitled to a "fling". If it was more than that, she would have left you. Additionally, being diagnosed with cancer creates a real mental problem for her that gave her additional issues. I don't think this was an issue except in your mind. Perhaps I am wrong but I doubt it.

Secondly, by all means, my sister died of cancer. She has two years or less to live, you should stay with her, help her and forget yourself. Love is about giving and you must love her till the end. You will experience her death and the true meaning of life and death and love. Don't let her die unloved. It is the greatest gift.

If it is operable cancer, she must remove. Perhaps prayer can help also, many cases have been resolved if you are strong enough.

[djhotsox]

Wait for the results to arrive from the new tests.....maybe she lied to you again?

[Pongsiri]

Ahh, a slight discrepancy, haven't we all made them. Life is short, and now unfortunately, hers may be shorter than you expected. By all accounts, she is a good girl, she made a mistake, but was that whilst you were separated? Arguments, tiffs, call them what you like, we all have them. If you cared about her for the last 4 years, and loved her through the good and the bad, the laughter and the tears, don't stop caring now. Ovarian cancer is a cruel, and usually fatal disease. She sounds like a great girl who lost control of herself during a fleeting time of separation, and this is not unusual. We live for a good time, not a long time, and if I were you, and if I had truly ever loved her I would indeed help. Trust, hurt my feelings, can never trust her again, so on and so forth. We don't live long enough to be in two minds about who we help and who we dont, just because they fell out of our bed. She has done more good for you than any pain she may have caused, she has never asked for anything, and you had four great years. Help her out. In reality she was almost a part of your family, and she was a good person. What has changed except for a bruised heart and a slightly battered ego. Nothing!!!!

Nice Post!

There are so many bitter old slags that frequent this forum! It's so nice to read from someone that has a reasonable take on the ops circumstance and relationships in general.

Op, heed the mans words, forgive, and if you're in a position to do so, step up. Whether or not it ultimately turns out to be a bad idea, in reading your posts it's obvious you've still got a lot of feelings for this girl, and I'll guarantee you'll hate yourself if you don't. Better to risk getting bent over a bit, then feel what you will if it turns out she really does have it and you did nothing.

Cheers!

[smotherb]

Sorry, I could not forget the " I miss you soooo much ". . Game over !

tthailand, I know this is not funny to you, but this sounds like a rerun of an age-old soap opera. Make sure you see the hospital test results--in fact, I would take her to a doctor myself.

[herb59]

chat with the norwegian and ask about everything. then you might have the truth. but ex is ex.

[Harveyg]

If you decide to help I would recommend an American doctor who recently set up an office in Bangkok. He already has a successful clinic in Arizona. His name - Thomas Lodi, MD. He uses alternative methods that a colleague of mine vouches for. In addition, although I don't have cancer, I used his services for other health issues with very positive results.

[losworld]

Sad story but if she has cancer why not help her by making things more comfortable for her or trying to treat it if possible. I couldn't tell if it was terminal or treatable by what you described. If terminal maybe some money to spend with her family. As they say in Tland "up to you".

[HerbalEd]

I don't know you so I'll speak generically.

Just my opinion, but I think anyone who asks this question most likely doesn't want to help ... but feels guilty for now wanting to. Otherwise there'd be no question.

[benalibina]

I don't know you so I'll speak generically.

Just my opinion, but I think anyone who asks this question most likely doesn't want to help ... but feels guilty for now wanting to. Otherwise there'd be no question.

Incorrect IMHO. The heart....him being really him....wants to. And will.

The mind questions, but will loose from the heart. Truth about the validity of the story is the only thing he does need though.

If all is true......Listen to your heart....nothing more you, as a human need to do.

[ggt]

Whatever you do .... do not take her word for any of this...if you are truly concerned...have a visit with the Dr. who is supposed to have diagnosed the disease...

This could...be just another scam...it would be good to find out before making any decisions...

She may be trying to hit you up for a big payday before moving on to the next victim...

Yes...I am quite cynical...having lived here long enough to know not to take anything at face value...

[inventorinthailand]

I can agree that my question and place is little odd. But i had to ventilate the steam somewhere and you unlucky guys got it straight in your face. Sorry for that. Anyhow, thanks all for your thoughts, critics, advices and cynical inputs (easy to be in Thailand). We will see what's happening next week when the results are in.

[Bigfarang1948]

I think she made that choice as far as relationship.She is still a person with needs however and if you are in a position to help her, particuarly in getting proper hospital pain control when it is needed if the situation is as you say it may be a nice thing to do.

Cynical here, having heard and read so many stories and lies that can be told by a cheating girlfriend. Cancer is a easy excuse for getting sympathy and I am not a believer until I hear it from her doctor even if it has to be translated. If you want a second opinion, take her to Bumungrad (SP) hospital in Bangkok. I sincerely hope she gets well and you let your heart do what it will. I thought Thais got decent medical care once they get past the village witch doctor. Maybe I m wrong, but I dare say most Farangs probably can't cough up enough baht to pay for chemo, radiation treatment, hospital stay, and a room and food for mama, because, as you probably know, Thais do not seem to stay over night in the hospital unless at least one family member stays with them, no matter how long they are in the hospital. May God and Buddha place their loving hands on her and cure her if she is sick.