Marriage tips

[lvr181]

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... or something like that................

Selective deafness?

[green job]

Run

[me313]

I'm sure there's pehaps a bit more to the story than divulged in the very brief statement above. What types of friends, what types of evening activities does this fiancee object to, are questionable details omitted from the general statement. This is not exactly a country where evening activities for men are innocent or lead to happy blissful marriages with local women who want more than subservience.

Edited November 22, 2014 by me313

[Toscano]

Why bother to get married when you want to be out with your friends all the time . Marriage is a compromise , your wife should expect that you want to spend time with her .

[micmichd]

Maybe I was lucky.

My gf was not so sure whether she wanted a man or a car.

She decided to take both.

So we're not married, and we have the car.

What went wrong?

[jacksam]

Why do you blokes marry. Yes I did in farang world. Like many others. I'm not bitter. Mine only lasted two years. Don't marry her. Just live with her. And be in control. Its your way or the highway.

[canarysun]

Why even live together? Just date and maybe see each other twice a week.Its much healthier and keeps the relationship alive & fresh! I am 50 years old,never been married and have always been single.( I have never had a Thai girlfriend either ....) F.J x

[Straight8]

Op, now that sounds like a massive red flag.

You do not want to marry her. It will get much much worse later on and you probably know that yourself.

At least the signs are there beforehand. Seriously rethink. No way would I ever let a woman try and change/ control me.

[CraigSchuler]

Time for the big decision.

Who will wear the trousers?

He will....She just tells him which pair to wear!

[micmichd]

That's what it's running up to.

The problem is how to keep those dates secret, so neighbours and family don't talk.

[micmichd]

It's complicated.

My gf and me, we both don't want to marry. Her family want us to marry.

The jeans she took were too tight for me in the strategic front region, anyway. They probably sold me women's wear at Siam Sq. But that was long before our romance...

[The manic]

Call it off.

[DekDaeng]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

Sure, but how do you make sure you are one of the 5%?

[green job]

Tell her to Foxtrot Osxxr As I have said before Thaifoon Wet and wild when they come Take the house and car when they leave

[hawker9000]

You've found a "crack" in your relationship. It needs dialog. If you can work it out - and I mean REALLY work it out - to yours and her complete understanding and satisfaction, then you two can move forward knowing this isn't going to be a source of friction. If, OTOH, you find yourself having to "deal", then you're probably just papering over something that will rear up again & again. Relationships are complex and no two the same. Some couples adapt to things that others would consider nearly absurd. No one here can say for sure that this is or isn't deal killer for you two. But if after an effort to talk it out, it still gives you - EITHER of you actually - any pause whatsoever, I would say plunging ahead with the marriage is probably a bad idea.

[Jaybee2]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

Friends come and go. So do wives.

The friends vs. wife dilemma is a common one, played out in most marriages, soon before or after the knot is tied. Better before, as you then know what you are getting into and can decide if it is worth it for you.

Although friends come and go, if a guy is lucky enough, he's got one or two close friends, who he can talk to honestly about everything, and get an honest take on what he has to say, from someone who understands him, and who he understands where they are coming from. You can't really do that with a wife. Not in most cases, IMHO. There are always things you just cannot say to a woman you love, as she will never understand, and it will only cause trouble.

Old friends are the best ones, but time and tides sometimes split the best of friends apart, especially when wives get involved. But there can be new friends found, who will suffice. Believe me, when you are bereft of good friends (typically male, but occasionally, a platonic female friend is as good, but rare as normally wives/GFs get rid of them first off), then you are on an island, and that is not where you want to end up.

I think the OP has probably got this "word to the wise" figured out already. Let's hope so.

Edited November 23, 2014 by Jaybee2

[sipi]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

Friends come and go. So do wives.

The friends vs. wife dilemma is a common one, played out in most marriages, soon before or after the knot is tied. Better before, as you then know what you are getting into and can decide if it is worth it for you.

Although friends come and go, if a guy is lucky enough, he's got one or two close friends, who he can talk to honestly about everything, and get an honest take on what he has to say, from someone who understands him, and who he understands where they are coming from. You can't really do that with a wife. Not in most cases, IMHO. There are always things you just cannot say to a woman you love, as she will never understand, and it will only cause trouble.

Old friends are the best ones, but time and tides sometimes split the best of friends apart, especially when wives get involved. But there can be new friends found, who will suffice. Believe me, when you are bereft of good friends (typically male, but occasionally, a platonic female friend is as good, but rare as normally wives/GFs get rid of them first off), then you are on an island, and that is not where you want to end up.

I think the OP has probably got this "word to the wise" figured out already. Let's hope so.

I keep seeing on this thread that " wives come and go". I'm not totally convinced.

Other than that, yes I agree.

Sent from my GT-S5300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[micmichd]

I'm not married, so I can't tell about wives.

GFs also come and go. Some come as pussy, and go as friends. Some of my best friends are my ex-GFs, and I don't see any reason why this should be different in Thailand. Yes, and why not have sex again with your ex-gf sometimes?

Life can be sooo easy if you don't take yourself too serious.

Be happy, enjoy it, and have fun

[micmichd]

Hopefully the OP found some good tips here, so he can go to think it over and talk it out with the person he trusts most of all. If this person happens to be his fiancee, then why not marry her?

[anon022]

I'd pick a good wife over friends any day. Friends come and go.

It's often the other way around, And in Thailand it's more than often.

[micmichd]

Women come and go. Not necessarily as wives.

[fish fingers]

Your relationship has already failed. You consult a bunch of strangers on here before talking to your future wife.

i always take objective and subjective views in the workplace.. Seeing as thaivisa has alot of experience to give then whos to judge? Oh and do check out stickmanweekly's last post .. Totally on this subject.

[fish fingers]

Thanks for the replies and sorry not to reply earlier. Some words of wisdom on here and will def have to sit her down etc. The timing of these types of conversations is paramount so will do it when we are together on a beach or somewhere relaxing. Maybe an agreement to each have time with our friends at least a night a week would be healthy.

[micmichd]

Congratulations, my friend.

You're decision is right.

Times might change -hopefully they do. But with a loving woman by your side you can manage almost everything.

Good luck, have fun

[patrick1968]

I believe there is time for friend and must of the time is for wife and family ,,,,but if your relation ship down the drain and you running away spend times with friends ,,,, because you hate the wife ,,then different situation ..

[green job]

Dont

[HCB]

Why don't you talk or discuss with your future wife and meet the mid way ? If you ask the social strangers, they not know your situation more than you and your future wife.

[outboard]

meh women talk, it is what they do, that don't mean you have to do anything it is the way their brains work , how they think

as men we are problem solvers, our natural desire is to fix things, it is how our brains work, how we think

thing is just because she is talking does not mean anything needs fixing, so learn to say "yes dear" let her talk and then go do whatever the hell you want to ( you are allowed to consider what she said as "prompts to possible courses of action" but it is not required)

or go see a marriage guidance counsellor who will fleece you for $60k to tell you the same thing

[AZBill]

Thai girls are a jealous lot!