Wife Economics

[kerryk]

I was reading on another thread that the really intelligent men living in Thailand are not married. I wondered how much it costs you to maintain a relationship with your spouse or significant other.

[GuestHouse]

We have to look at the whole number.

Before I was married I had an appartment in Edinburgh that was fully paid for and I had a pension that I have been paying since I was 18, on top of that about a year's salary in savings.

With that under my belt I spent my entire monthly income on cars, holidays, partying, gadgets, endless new hobbies and what is generally refered to as a 'Bl00dy good time'.

When I got married, I inevitably settled down a bit, yes there are costs, but I've since added a house in Oxfordshire (paid for) land, two houses and two appartments in Thailand (paid for), we are considering buying an holiday flat in Rome and my savings have gone up.

So I figure, when I look at the whole number, I'm a lot better off married.

[kiakaha]

costs me zero $.

in fact i am wealthier as a result of my marriage.

[jdinasia]

"if you have to ask ...."

[Thaipwriter]

Financial or emotional?

[Donz]

Yes im actually ahead at the moment, but im not married yet, just been living with her for 4 years or was it 5 years

[kerryk]

Financial or emotional?

All amounts in Baht per month.

I pay about 2000 for hair products. 1000 for pills and various remedies. 3000 for food. 3000 booze. 2000 clothes and shoes. 1000 make up and skin care products.

1000 travel to see relatives and friends. Medical and dental expenses 2000. Religious expenses 2000. Entertainment 8000. 3000 misc. For a total of 20,000 baht per month.

I figure it about the same or slightly less than I would pay for companionship if I lived alone.

Emotionally I am probably the winner as she is an easy woman to live with.

[Colonel_Mustard]

I wouldn't say that being married costs any more than being single. You just spend it on different things. Kids and their schooling is a different matter but I guess you don't have to be married for that.

[Thaipwriter]

I don't have to pay for company . I get it for free due to my youthful good looks, sparkling personality.

[Donz]

I don't have to pay for company . I get it for free due to my youthful good looks, sparkling personality.

Hey, I was about to say something along those lines

[Heng]

I'd have to say financially, I'm better off married. She's better with the numbers and keeping unneccessary business costs in check; she also brought substantial real estate assets into the family fold as well. Emotionally, I'd say my happiness levels are pretty much equal. There are enjoyable parts of single life as there are in married life. It's only money, so the choice is yours.

[Totster]

I don't have to pay for company . I get it for free due to my youthful good looks, sparkling personality.

Hey, I was about to say something along those lines

I reckon the only company you get for free is with your hand...

totster

[kerryk]

I don't have to pay for company . I get it for free due to my youthful good looks, sparkling personality.

Hey, I was about to say something along those lines

My my we assume a lot. If I take a new lady out on a date I don’t eat at the corner market for 50 baht. Nor do I drink cheap beer or Thai whiskey. A simple night out without much entertainment and no barfines or fees paid runs me 2000 baht at least. In addition to that I am culturally aware that Thai women can’t stand to go out alone so I always asked two or three to go out at one time. Besides this being culturally correct it is filling a need in Chiang Mai which has many more women than men in the population.

Now if I order a Guinness or a decent steak at a restaurant my Thai ladies eyes get so big I think they are going to pop out of her head. That of course does not mean I don’t do that on occasion but I am sure the cost to put her eyes back in her head would not be worth more frequent steak dinners.

Thai women IMO are frugal if one nurtures that aspect of their personality and I can’t really expect her not to buy shoes if I buy steaks.

[Stephen Cleary]

I married my wife for a grand total of $US2000.

I have to send her mother 1,000 baht a month out of 'kreng jai' .

Very kindly we were given land worth more than 3 million baht on the Chiang Mai-Bangkok highway. Not a bad investment!

Edited August 5, 2006 by stevesuphan

[Mr Jones]

Daddy, Daddy, How much did it cost you to marry Mummy.

Don't know son, I'm still paying,

[koratsteve]

I was reading on another thread that the really intelligent men living in Thailand are not married. I wondered how much it costs you to maintain a relationship with your spouse or significant other.

For me I spend less now that I am married, before I would buy anything on a whim and I would not think twice about spending 2000 baht on a night out, but now that I’m married my wife only gives me a 100 baht a day allowance so we manage to save a lot.

[Mossfinn]

'I pay about 2000 for hair products. 1000 for pills and various remedies. 2000 clothes and shoes. 1000 make up and skin care products'.

For you or your partner?

Moss

[Mossfinn]

Financial or emotional?

Financially and emotionally I am far better off.

Before I was married my money was spent on 'wine, women and song', the rest I just squandered to quote the great George Best.

Apart from anything else it probably put many years on my life expectancy, so it doesn't take much to figure out.

Good Luck

Moss

[backflip]

"I pay about 2000 for hair products. 1000 for pills and various remedies. 3000 for food. 3000 booze. 2000 clothes and shoes. 1000 make up and skin care products. 1000 travel to see relatives and friends. Medical and dental expenses 2000. Religious expenses 2000. Entertainment 8000. 3000 misc. For a total of 20,000 baht per month. "

The problem is, simple math eludes you. It's actually 28,000THB per month - you're off by only 40%.

As my father told me "two can live as cheaply as one, but it costs twice as much."

[plachon]

Financial or emotional?

Financially and emotionally I am far better off.

Before I was married my money was spent on 'wine, women and song', the rest I just squandered to quote the great George Best.

Apart from anything else it probably put many years on my life expectancy, so it doesn't take much to figure out.

Good Luck

Moss

I'm trying to figure it out mate....How many years exactly? My single years were quite the opposite - must have knocked a decade at least off my quota, with all that Singh, lao kao, sing-song and late nights at dodgy motels. What's your secret Moss to adding years to your life pre-marriage? Guess practicing safe sex might be one of them? After all, who uses a condom on the Mrs?

[Noel]

I was reading on another thread that the really intelligent men living in Thailand are not married. I wondered how much it costs you to maintain a relationship with your spouse or significant other.

Well I would of course like to think of myself as being 'really intelligent', but I can't be as I do not even understand the need for a marriage contract if you are in a mutually committed relationship.

As for the cost of living with a spouse or significant other, whoever said: "Two can live as cheaply as one" failed to complete the sentence with: "for half the time..."

[Mossfinn]

Financial or emotional?

Financially and emotionally I am far better off.

Before I was married my money was spent on 'wine, women and song', the rest I just squandered to quote the great George Best.

Apart from anything else it probably put many years on my life expectancy, so it doesn't take much to figure out.

Good Luck

Moss

I'm trying to figure it out mate....How many years exactly? My single years were quite the opposite - must have knocked a decade at least off my quota, with all that Singh, lao kao, sing-song and late nights at dodgy motels. What's your secret Moss to adding years to your life pre-marriage? Guess practicing safe sex might be one of them? After all, who uses a condom on the Mrs?

I guess you have mistaken my quote or I have not made it clear, having had long experience of my poor grammar I am going to put it down to my inability to communicate.

I really meant to say that getting married has extended my life expectancy, as for condoms, what are they? I was brought up a good Catholic boy 55555555

Good Luck

Moss

[quadricorrelator]

I think there are indirect ways that the marriage decision can have a significant financial opportunity cost/benefit.

For example, a married man may have less time to develop his career and finances because he wants to spend time with his wife. A single man has more flexibility with his time. He can work late at night without problems etc.

In some marriages, the conflicts and crises between partners can be so distracting that the man becomes less effective at his work.

I think both of these effects compound with interest (over time). A single man might pull far ahead of where he would have been, had he got married.

But, sometimes, a marriage can help the financial situation. Some men have better careers if they are married for many reasons. For example, some men have more work distraction problems if they are single. They may be distracted by loneliness, depression, or spend excessive time going out trying to fill a need. Or, he may just function better at work, if he is married to the right woman.

There are many possibilities in my opinion.

I think the financial opportunity cost/benefit depends on the individual. In my case, my best guess, is that a marriage would have come at a great finance opportunity cost. There is no way I can know for sure because I can only run the experiment once.

I still might get married in the future, but I don't know.

-q

[kiakaha]

I think there are indirect ways that the marriage decision can have a significant financial opportunity cost/benefit.

For example, a married man may have less time to develop his career and finances because he wants to spend time with his wife. A single man has more flexibility with his time. He can work late at night without problems etc.

In some marriages, the conflicts and crises between partners can be so distracting that the man becomes less effective at his work.

I think both of these effects compound with interest (over time). A single man might pull far ahead of where he would have been, had he got married.

But, sometimes, a marriage can help the financial situation. Some men have better careers if they are married for many reasons. For example, some men have more work distraction problems if they are single. They may be distracted by loneliness, depression, or spend excessive time going out trying to fill a need. Or, he may just function better at work, if he is married to the right woman.

There are many possibilities in my opinion.

I think the financial opportunity cost/benefit depends on the individual. In my case, my best guess, is that a marriage would have come at a great finance opportunity cost. There is no way I can know for sure because I can only run the experiment once.

I still might get married in the future, but I don't know.

-q

and dont forget, as bizarre as it may seem on this forum, some guys marry girls that actually have careers too !

[kerryk]

I think there are indirect ways that the marriage decision can have a significant financial opportunity cost/benefit.

For example, a married man may have less time to develop his career and finances because he wants to spend time with his wife. A single man has more flexibility with his time. He can work late at night without problems etc.

In some marriages, the conflicts and crises between partners can be so distracting that the man becomes less effective at his work.

I think both of these effects compound with interest (over time). A single man might pull far ahead of where he would have been, had he got married.

But, sometimes, a marriage can help the financial situation. Some men have better careers if they are married for many reasons. For example, some men have more work distraction problems if they are single. They may be distracted by loneliness, depression, or spend excessive time going out trying to fill a need. Or, he may just function better at work, if he is married to the right woman.

There are many possibilities in my opinion.

I think the financial opportunity cost/benefit depends on the individual. In my case, my best guess, is that a marriage would have come at a great finance opportunity cost. There is no way I can know for sure because I can only run the experiment once.

I still might get married in the future, but I don't know.

-q

It has been a few years since I worked in a corporate environment as I opted to start my own business after countless corporate frustrations. But I can remember working for Holiday Inns and being told by my boss if I wanted to move out of hotel management and be a corporate VP I had to be married. He said in no uncertain terms that regardless of my performance if I was not married I would never climb the next step of the ladder.

In America another large reason to get married is health insurance which in most cases will not include a live in but does include a wife. In all of my marriages my spouse was a big negative in my work performance. My work caused one divorce and was a contributing factor in one other divorce.

If my current Thai lady were to insist on marriage I think it would be a deal breaker for me.

Every time I get married the next day I wake up with a women I have never met before (I don’t mean any dalliance here).

Maybe it is just my bad luck or bad choice of partners but the woman I asked to marry me never turned out to be the same woman I married.

I have never married a woman that I have not lived with for at least one year. I figured I had a reasonably good idea of what the relationship would be like after marriage but in each case I was completely wrong.

[phibunmike]

For example, a married man may have less time to develop his career and finances because he wants to spend time with his wife. A single man has more flexibility with his time. He can work late at night without problems etc.

Some men have better careers if they are married for many reasons. For example, some men have more work distraction problems if they are single. They may be distracted by loneliness, depression, or spend excessive time going out trying to fill a need. Or, he may just function better at work, if he is married to the right woman.

I feel more eat peace now I am married and work better. Also, I can spend less time thinking about household management like meals, laundry, cleaner etc., so work more efficiently. Also less need to go out for big nights out and work slowly the following morning.

As you say, varies from person to person.

[Stephen Cleary]

KerryK:

Just go back to your home country if you want to tell the rest of the world that a Thai girl who isn't a virgin is the same as a prostitute.

[quadricorrelator]

I think there are indirect ways that the marriage decision can have a significant financial opportunity cost/benefit.

For example, a married man may have less time to develop his career and finances because he wants to spend time with his wife. A single man has more flexibility with his time. He can work late at night without problems etc.

In some marriages, the conflicts and crises between partners can be so distracting that the man becomes less effective at his work.

I think both of these effects compound with interest (over time). A single man might pull far ahead of where he would have been, had he got married.

But, sometimes, a marriage can help the financial situation. Some men have better careers if they are married for many reasons. For example, some men have more work distraction problems if they are single. They may be distracted by loneliness, depression, or spend excessive time going out trying to fill a need. Or, he may just function better at work, if he is married to the right woman.

There are many possibilities in my opinion.

I think the financial opportunity cost/benefit depends on the individual. In my case, my best guess, is that a marriage would have come at a great finance opportunity cost. There is no way I can know for sure because I can only run the experiment once.

I still might get married in the future, but I don't know.

-q

It has been a few years since I worked in a corporate environment as I opted to start my own business after countless corporate frustrations. But I can remember working for Holiday Inns and being told by my boss if I wanted to move out of hotel management and be a corporate VP I had to be married. He said in no uncertain terms that regardless of my performance if I was not married I would never climb the next step of the ladder.

In America another large reason to get married is health insurance which in most cases will not include a live in but does include a wife. In all of my marriages my spouse was a big negative in my work performance. My work caused one divorce and was a contributing factor in one other divorce.

If my current Thai lady were to insist on marriage I think it would be a deal breaker for me.

Every time I get married the next day I wake up with a women I have never met before (I don’t mean any dalliance here).

Maybe it is just my bad luck or bad choice of partners but the woman I asked to marry me never turned out to be the same woman I married.

I have never married a woman that I have not lived with for at least one year. I figured I had a reasonably good idea of what the relationship would be like after marriage but in each case I was completely wrong.

Hi kerryk,

I am fascinated by the idea that the relationship changes as soon as the marriage committment is made. I am amazed that things can change so quickly, even after you knew the ladies for over a year. How can this happen?

Do you think the women were hiding a part of themselves until they accomplished their goal of marrying you?

Six years ago, I had a girlfriend whom I thought about marrying. She had already been married twice. She said that both times, her feelings changed towards the man as soon as the marriage was legally completed. Her feelings changed immediately after the marriage. Of course this frightened me.

My younger sister had a similar experience. She had a boyfriend for two years. As soon as they moved in together, he became very controlling. This personality trait was not exposed until they moved in together.

How can we ever be sure?

At the time I was considering marriage (six years ago), I felt that I had two bad choices, and I had decide which was the least bad. I predicted that if I married my girlfriend I would wind up broke and lonely in five years. But, if I didn't marry her, then I would only be lonely. So, I decided not to marry her (actually the decision was not quite as I am describing, the decision was probably more based on my various fears than rational thinking).

It was very difficult to break off the relationship because I loved her. But, I was afraid of many things. One of my fears was that her feelings towards me would change. I had the sense she would become more demanding. I worried that there would be conflicts in spending philosophy. I felt she might have been hiding parts of herself.

I was also worried about all of these things occurring in my own personality as well. I am not sure I know myself well enough to predict my own long term response to a marriage.

-q

[daleyboy]

Since i have been married, i have saved thousands of pounds. Before i met my wife i was runing up debts buying fast cars and holidays with no thought about tommorrow, now i am married i have a pension started, i have life insurance and medical cover. I have savings in the bank for the first time in my life and i have settled down loads. Added to the fact my wife works full time so we manage to save even more.

So to answer the question, its cost me nothing to get married and saved me from myself and a downward spiral of debt and big trouble

Also since having the little one 3 months ago, my life has settled even more and now i am managing to pay into a savings account for the little fella

Ohh and we have just bought our first house in the U.K, to add to the house we hae been given in Thailand by the inlaws

Is this what its like to grow up?

Edited August 6, 2006 by daleyboy

[Totster]

You and me both DB...

I'll let Ray Lamontagnes' lyrics tell it..

Trouble...

Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble

Trouble been doggin' my soul since the day I was born

Worry...

Worry, worry, worry, worry

Worry just will not seem to leave my mind alone

We'll I've been...

saved by a woman

I've been...

saved by a woman

I've been...

saved by a woman

She won't let me go

She won't let me go now

She won't let me go

She won't let me go now

Trouble...

Oh, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble

Feels like every time I get back on my feet

she come around and knock me down again

Worry...

Oh, worry, worry, worry, worry

Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend

We'll I've been saved...

by a woman

I've been saved...

by a woman

I've been saved...

by a woman

She won't let me go

She won't let me go now

She won't let me go

She won't let me go now

Oh..., Ahhhh....

Ohhhh

She good to me now

She gave me love and affection

She good tell me now

She gave me love and affection

I Said I love her

Yes I love her

I said I love her

I said I love...

She good to me now

She's good to me

She's good to me

totster